CROSSED OVER
By: Joe and Branden
Episode 5: Attack of the Crappy looking Aliens
Joe: (In Military Fatigues) Hello, welcome to another addition/episode of Crossed Over. For those who watch this show you are quite lucky, for today we're going hunting!
Branden: (In Military Fatigues as well) Weren't we in the belly of a Sea Monster last time...How did we get out?
Joe: ...I don't want to talk about it (Sprays some air freshener on himself)...Why won't the stink ago away?
Branden: ...Oh yeah, never mind, but why can't I hold the guns?
Joe: Do you even to ask that, remember that time at the Burger King drive-thru.
Branden: Oh yeah....
{FLASH BACK...DUAD, DUAD, DUAD, DUAD...}
Branden: I TOLD YOU I'D SHOT, BUT YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE ME...WHY DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME! (Falls to his knees and begins crying)...Joe...I killed somebody.
Joe: ...No...You shot the drive-tru order-taking intercom...
Branden: Huh...(Looks up to see a bullet hole in the intercom system hole)...Oh.
Employee through the intercom: (Very scared)...Uh...Um...Do you want fries with that?
Branden: Oh thank god, I didn't kill any body (Drops the gun, which fires off a bullet that goes flying until it hits a giant truck carrying...Napalm, Acid and Gasoline).
Branden: ...Uh...That's a bad thing right Joe? Joe? (Turns to see Joe running like a bat out of hell)...Oh...NIAY! (Runs after Joe as the entire city is consumed in flames).
Burger King Employee: ...YAHOO, FREE DAY OFF WORK! (Takes off his uniform and runs out of the building into the flames) ...AAAAAHHHHH, FREEDOM BURNS!!!
Burger King Employee 2: Now whose stupid enough to leave a truck full of Napalm, Acid and Gasoline in a parking lot without security?
George W. Bush: (Comes out of the bathroom, toilet paper on the bottom of his shoe, a greasy burger in his hands, and the smell of crap on his suit) huh...(Looks out the window to see the town in flames)...Uh...Uh Ho...I knew I shouldn't have decided to personally see that the truck full of Napalm, Acid and Gasoline be digestrodioa.
Burger King Employee 2: ...What?
George W. Bush: It's a new word I made up.
Burger King Employee: ...How exactly did you become our president?
George W. Bush: ..................(bows his head and weeps) I don't know.
{END FLASH BACK...DUAD, DUAD, DUAD...}
Joe: I love flashbacks.
Branden: ...Me too...But why can't I hold the guns?
Joe: HAVE YOU LEARN NOTHING!
Branden: ...Yes.
Joe: ...Oh...Well okay here you go (Hands Branden a missile launcher) be careful, that triggers sensitive.
Branden: Don't worry I...Oops (Fires the missile, which flies off into the atmosphere)...I wonder where it will go.
(In Afghanistan...{Audience and viewers: BOO!}...The missile blows the entire country to bits {Audience and viewers: YAY!})
Branden: ...Oh well, not my problem.
Joe: Hey Branden look over there, it's a bear (Points to a grizzly bear that begins climbing up a tree)...Now hand me my rifle (Gets handed a cork gun). Okay, now legally I can only kill an animal if I'm in danger of attack by one...So in the words of Jimbo from South Park, IT'S HEADING RIGHT FOR US! (Fires the gun...And realizes too late that it's a cork gun as the cork goes flying)...WHAT!
Bear: (Gets hit in the eye with the cork and falls down to ground).
Joe: ...Well...Stupid, but affective.
Bear: (Wakes up in a rage).
Joe: ...Uh...BRANDEN DID IT! (Throws Branden the gun).
Branden: NO I DIDN'T YOU ASS WIPE, YOU DID (Throws the gun back to Joe).
Joe: NO I...(Interrupted as the bear comes face to face with him, foaming from the mouth).
Bear: RAR...DIDLY!
Branden: ...That was weird, yet still very frightening...
Joe: Frightening? This dumbass fur coat doesn't...AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! (Begins getting mauled to death by the bear).
Branden: (Watching from the side as Joe is torn to shreds)...Um...(Turns to the camera) On with the show.
*****************************************************
Last time on CROSSED OVER, our jackass wannabe heroes spent the day with their Z Warrior family...Of course trouble, insanity, chaos, fowl jokes and toilet humor persuaded...Which is actually normal for all of them, so it's cool. But unknowing to them the Evil force, Mr. Potatohead, prepares for the first assualt...
Mr. Potatohead: Hehehehe...My attack shall begin now...MINION GROUP #1, HEAD OUT AND DESTROY!
Figures in the shadows: YES MASTER! (Run out of the dimension...And realize they, like last time, are now standing in mid-air and they can't FLY) ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Plummet to the ground).
Mr. Potatohead: USE YOUR SHIP YOU IDIOTS! God, I'm already worrying about this invasion already.
(We open at Goku's household, where the day begins as usual for the Son Family and Skit.)
Goku: (Sitting on the toilet) KA...MAY...HA...MAY...HAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Blasts a huge duky {That's crap for you mentally challenged people} and reduces the toilet to bits of stone) Oh god...That felt good, almost sexual in a way (Turns to see everyone staring at him).
Skit: .......Well, that was a sight I could do without today. Now if all of you don't mind, I'll be cleaning out this horrific sight by pouring some bleach into my eyes (Walks into the kitchen and pours an ounce of bleach in each eye) AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! THE PAIN, IT HURTS! (Begins rolling on the ground, a mixture of blood and salt water pouring from his eyes).
Chi-Chi: Um Goku, how many times have I told you to close door when you're taking a crap?
Goku: (Raises both hands and fingers and says like little child...) Four.
Gohan: (His knees crossed and his hands between his legs) AW mom, I have to take a major piss and dad blew up the crapper again.
Goten: Brother, do what I do when this happens, Pee in dad's coffee cup.
Goku: You mean that wasn't lemonade, Aw crap, I knew it tasted kind of funny.
Chi-Chi: (Sighs) Looks like were going to have to go to Bulma's and get a new toilet.
Goten: Great, I can also give back the barbie doll and N'SYNC CD Trunks gave me while we're there.
Chi-Chi and Gohan: .............................
Skit: (Sits back up with bloodshot eyes) Now that's just beyond fruity right there...That's Richard Simons fruity in fact (Falls over in pain again).
Goku: I'm sitting in my own crap...And the toilet waters running down my leg...OOO, feels all cold and crappily and judging by the smell I don't think it will taste that good................Yep, I was right.
^The doorbell suddenly chimes in^
Goku: What was that?
Chi-Chi: That was the doorbell Goku.
Goku: We have a doorbell? Why the hell didn't you tell me, the next thing you'll tell me is that we have a phone and a (Does the finger gesture for quotations) "Microwave Oven."
Chi-Chi: As I told you before, we have a phone and we have a "Microwave Oven".
Goku: ...You mean we're not hillbillies with nothing but a jug of whiskey and corncob pipe.
Chi-Chi:...You said exact same line before and again just like before I'll tell you the same answer, NO!
Goku: Awww, I just want to be a Hillbilly so bad...(Hears the doorbell ring again) Can someone please get that damn thing!
Skit: (Recovers from the bleach) Don't worry I got it (Walks over to the door and opens it to see Kyle standing in front of him in his boxers) KYLE! What are you doing here, I thought you lived with Piccolo in his tree?
Kyle: I do, it's right over there to left of Goku's house (Points to a giant Oak Tree with a mailbox that says "Piccolo" on it and a giant hole next to it with another mailbox that says "Kyle" on it).
Skit: Kyle, why is there a mailbox that has your name on it next to a giant hole in the ground?
Kyle: That's where I live, Mr. Piccolo dug it just for me last night, he says I'm too stupid to live in his tree.
Skit: ...Um...Okay, now what do you want?
Kyle: Piccolo and me were wondering what the hell's going on in here.
Skit: It's just Goku, he blew up the toilet after taking a giant crap.
Piccolo: (Shouts from his tree wearing glasses and holding a rolled up newspaper while in his boxers) AGAIN! DAMN IT, NOW THAT MEANS MY TOILET WON'T WORK AND HAVE TO TAKE A MAJOR CRAP RIGHT NOW!
Skit: I didn't know Namek's take craps.
Piccolo: There are a lot of things you don't know about Namek's...
Skit: Actually I do know everything about Namek's, remember, In my world you guys are cartoon characters.
Piccolo: ...Oh yeah...
Kyle: Hehehe, Piccolo's such a dumbass (Begins banging his head against the side of the house)
Skit: ...What are you doing that for?
Kyle: (Stops banging against the wall) I'm a woodpecker...except with concrete (Bangs his head several more times until he falls over, blood dripping from the crack in his forehead) did I get any of those worms?
Skit: ...God, you're the biggest reason why people should use condoms more often.
Goten: Me and Trunks play grab the worm a lot.
Skit: Is that kind of like grab ass.
Goten: Kind of, but you use your mouth instead of your hands.
^ Area falls silent^
Skit: Well that was disturbing and grotesque. Let's head over to Bulma's now so I can puke in her toilet.
Goku: (Walks over with pants around his ankles) Well you can go ahead and puke in what's left of the toilet...As for me, I'm going to get dressed (Immediately trips over his pants).
*************************
^Later at Capsule Corp.^
Bulma: ...So Goku blew up another toilet again. This is getting annoying; this is the 34th one this week.
Goku: Each one put up a good fight, all but number 12 that is. A shame really, I didn't even need to take a crap, all I did was sit down and fart and it crumbled...Now number 23, there was fighter, It took me two big jumbos to crumble it.
Bulma: ...Yeah, glad you take pride in this.
Goku: It's not pride, it's a matter of honor (Raises his index finger in the sky sharply as he says that...and farts just a second later).
Bulma: ...Yeah...Whatever, I'm going inside and taking some sleeping pills, but before I do that I'll show you where to get another toilet Chi-Chi (Walks towards the Capsule Corp. building with Chi-Chi behind her).
Chi-Chi: Why do you take sleeping pills?
Bulma: ...Because it's the only joy I get in life...(Sighs with depression) Vegeta has to be worst man ever in bed and my son's a women, I have good reason to take sleeping pills...It let's me escape my horrible life.
Chi-Chi: (Chuckles wearily)...Hehehe...
As Bulma and Chi-Chi disappear inside the building, Skit, the pondering Goku who keeps thinking about his corncob pipe, Goten, Gohan, a head bandaged up Kyle and a fully dressed Piccolo head to the backyard. They soon find Vegeta, Jason, Trunks, Krillin and his family including Megan all sitting around a big, circular yard table.
Goku: (Sits next to Vegeta) Hi Vegeta, what's up, give me a high five bro (Raises his hand for a high five).
Vegeta: (Glares daggers at Goku)...Dumbass (Jabs him in the stomach).
Goku: (Gasps in pain)...great...to see...you....too....buddy (Gets kicked in the face by Vegeta).
Vegeta: I'm not you're buddy damn it.
Skit: (Sits next to Jason) Hey Jason, how was your day with Vegeta and his family?
Jason: ...Hmmm, the last thing I remember is I was running from a pyromaniac Bulma and ending up in "Cheesy effects! The Tex-Mex time forgot" and after escaping a cheese shark I ended up at Capsule Corp. again where Vegeta showed his greetings by thwacking me on the back of the head.
Skit: ...Cheese shark...The thing a person sees after drinking 2 gallons of Anti-freeze.
Jason: Hey, I only drank one thank you.
Piccolo: (Looks at Krillin) what are you guys doing here any ways?
Krillin: ...How the hell should I know, I just remember waking up and deciding to come here...I guess we were bored or something, how I should I know (Begins to open a bag of chips...Using all his strength and gaining little stride)...Damn child-proof plastic...
Jason: Hey guys, looky what I can do (Goes to jump over a chair, but trips and lands on the chatahouche) Ow, that hurt...Guys, my ears are bleeding again and I think I swallowed some rocks...MMM, rocks?
Kyle: (Walks over to Megan) Hi Megan.
Megan: ...Kyle, why are you still in your boxers?
Kyle: Oh, I couldn't find my pants because they were stolen by raccoons and I was beaten up by horny woodpeckers...I don't mind that much actually, but it's really frigin cold and that cold icy rain from out of nowhere is annoying the hell out of me.
Jason: (Squirts cold water at him with a small Nerf squirt gun) Hehehehehe...
Megan: (Looks up at the sky to see it suddenly darken) Oh great, the skies darkening.
Krillin: (Finally opens the bag and pants in exhaustion)...Thank god, man I'm tired...wha, oh the sky. Well, with our luck it's probably the eternal dragon who by now is granting some evil psychos wish of death and destruction...Of course we're probably going to have to stop him...That, or two dumbasses have unleashed a monster of mass destruction.
Skit + Jason: (Poke Bulma's killer robot 9000 with sticks and accidentally turn it on) ...WE DIDN'T DO IT!
Killer Robot 9000: I MUST KILL ALL HUMANITY! (Walks through the front gate) KILL... KILL... KILL...(Begins shooting up the place, stomping on cars and eating people).
Skit + Jason: (Begin walking away while whistling).
The dark clouds begin to part and out of them comes a giant UFO, shaped like what UFO's commonly look like.
Goku: (A corncob pipe in his mouth) Holy crap monkey's, it's a UFO...Interesting (Blows on his pipe and tiny green bubbles come out).
Megan: ...Why are their bubbles coming out of your pipe instead of smoke?
Goku: This much is better and healthy for you. OOO, I'm low on bubble mixture. (Pours more bubble mixture into the pipe, but he shifts his head back up to see the UFO and guzzles down the entire bottle of bubble mixture) ...MMMM, bubble freshiness, with a hint of highly dangerous chemicals...I feel sleepy. (Passes out, twitching and foaming from the mouth)
Vegeta: That's a big ass UFO.
Kyle: Cool...HEY UFO, YOU SUCK (Is blasted by the UFO's death ray).....OW, THAT HURT YOU DUMBASS (Is blasted five more times)...okay, I'll stop...Just kidding, YOU SUCK! (Is fired upon rapidly by more death rays and missiles and is reduced to burnt cinders and twitching like crazy)...I'm seriously stopping now...Can some one please help me? ...My kidney's are on fire and my lungs are reduce charcoal....Hello...You guys suck!
UFO: (Begins glowing with a yellow aura).
Vegeta: HOLY SHIT IT HAS A POWER LEVEL...AND IT CAN KICK MY ASS!
Skit: Vegeta, any one can kick your ass (Kicks Vegeta in the ass, losing his shoe in his "back pocket") ...See, what did I...(Is backhanded by Vegeta) OW DAMN IT, MY JAWS DISLOCATED!
UFO: (Turns to Jason).
Jason: Dude, take whatever you want.
UFO: (Sends a tracker beam down and picks up the six pack of beer Jason and Vegeta just bought awhile ago from off the table).
Vegeta + Jason: NOT THE BEER! (Both grab the case as it is pulled up and they are both sent inside the UFO. Seconds later the tracker beam sends them back down all beaten and bruised).
Skit: Damn, they beat the crap out of you two...Did you get me a souvenir?
Jason: ...We were attacked by aliens...What do you think?
Skit: ...Um...You got me a photo.
Jason: ...You know me to well (Hands him a photo of the aliens).
Skit: Wow, they look really weird and crappy...What's this long, probe-like rod in this one's hand for?
Vegeta: (Begins rubbing his ass)...I have no idea...
Piccolo: Well, since Vegeta here is now technically a women...
Vegeta: Screw you!
Piccolo: ...And Goku's dying slowly of chemical poison... Goten and Trunks are off doing...You know, I'm sorry I even brought that up, but I guess I'm going to have to save the world...As usual.
Krillin: Go get them Piccolo!
Piccolo: Aren't you going to help?
Krillin: ...Hell no, I finally the bag open and I'm eatting my chip.
Megan: A chip, just a chip?
Krillin: Not just an ordinary chip...But a big ass chip (Pulls out a big ass potato chip from the bag and starts eating).
Yamcha: (Comes running up to Piccolo, covered in garbage and smelling like shit) Don't worry, I'll help.
Piccolo: Oh, this will be interesting.
Yamcha: (Fires a KI blast the size of a ping pong ball...Which fizzles out once it's two inches from his hands).
UFO: (Does an Anime sweat drop and begins to chuckle in a scratchy, metallic voice).
Skit: What the hell was that? Shit, I can do better than that.
Yamcha: Shut up, I'll try again, this time at full power.
Piccolo: (Sarcastically) don't over do it Yamcha, your devastating power could destroy the entire planet.
Yamcha: Hey you're mocking me!
Krillin: Brilliant deduction Sherlock!
Yamcha: Screw you.
Piccolo: (Still acting sarcastic) Oh we're sorry, please don't be mad at us, we don't want to fight a warrior of your strength.
Yamcha: THAT'S IT, I'M PISSED NOW, THIS UFO IS GOING DOWN (Fires a KI blast, which, yet again, fizzles out just two inches from his hands).
UFO: (Sighs and fires a death ray that blows off Yamcha's head).
Piccolo: Well, at least it put him out of his misery...
Skit: Aw, I wanted to end his and our misery.
Piccolo: Oh well, I guess it's my turn (Picks up a rock and throws it at the UFO).
UFO: (Once the rock hits, it tilts and falls into the ocean...A minute later it comes back out, dented and on fire).
Krillin: Good its weakened (Looks at Marron) Go get it dog and remember, aim for the groin or the jugular.
Megan: You can't be this stupid.
Krillin: (Scratches his armpit) Huh?
UFO: (Lands to the ground and little aliens come out, all of them green stick figures with upside down triangles for heads. One, this being the leader, steps out from behind the aliens, this one pink instead of green).
Skit: Damn, they're even uglier up close.
Pink alien: Silence earth child, I am Mervis and me and my crew are the...the...(Very long pause).
Jason: You are the...Come on, speak already for god sakes!
Mervis: We are the...(Sighs) Assanoids from the planet Asscrust which is between the two stars known as right cheek and left cheek located around the giant black hole.
Everyone (but the aliens): (Begin to snicker like children before breaking out in wild laughter).
Mervis: HEY SHUT UP! I know it's stupid, but our world leaders are always drunk off their asses...And two are related to Bill Clinton. God, this is why I hate invading planets!
Skit: Well, what the hell do you want?
Mervis: We want...Your earth women.
Vegeta: (Moves at super speed and returns with a sleeping Bulma, who clenches an empty bottle of sleeping pills) Here take her, she's all yours.
Mervis: Please, do we look stupid...
Jason: Yes.
Mervis: ...Well that may be, but she's old and feeble.
Vegeta: (Throws Bulma to the side and falls to his knees) WHY GOD, WHY!
Dende: (Drops an anvil on Vegeta's face) HA HA!
Vegeta: (Bleeding from the nose) DAMN YOU!
Mervis: ...Any ways, we want that one (Points to 18)
Krillin: Oh hell no, that's my women, find your own.
Mervis: Give her to us or we will take her by force.
Piccolo: And what are you going to do to us? Blink us to death?
Mervis: ...Well that was our first plan of attack, but instead I have a better Idea (Snaps his fingers and the green aliens behind him pull out several kinds of guns and weaponry)
Piccolo: ...Well...Since you put it that way, she's all yours.
Mervis: Thank you...Um, tall earth lizard (Walks over to grab 18, but is intervened by Krillin)...Oh great, what the hell is this thing, a rat or something?
Krillin: I'm her husband and you're not getting her, she needs to fix my shoes and make me my dinner.
18: Like hell, your fixing my shoes and making me dinner.
Krillin: (Bow's head in shame) I just wanted to sound tough...By the way, your shoes will be done in the morning and I'm making a roasted chicken...And for dessert I made a delicious apple pie.
18: Why not cherry?
Krillin: I couldn't find any cherries.
18: But you know I like cherry...(Makes a pouty face) You don't love me anymore.
Krillin: I'm sorry...I'll make a cherry pie just for you and I'll add some extra sugar.
18: Good and as your reward, you get loven tonight...And I'll wear that very tight super girl costume you like so much.
Krillin: HOT DAMN (Begins jumping up and the air and clicking his heels together).
Mervis: Oh enough of this bull crap (Snaps his fingers and the aliens blast Krillin, reducing him to a burnt, shriveled body twitching in a singed crater) what now bitch (Grabs 18 as she kneels down to her fallen husband) BACK TO THE SHIP! (Him and the other aliens run like hell).
Skit: ...Should we stop them?
Jason: ...Nah, too much work.
Goku: I've recovered from my poisoning, I will save her (Hit by flying rock that one of the aliens threw)...Nighty night (Faints again).
Mervis: Bye dip weeds (Gets in the space ship with his crew and 18 and starts up the space ship...but it doesn't turn on) DAMN IT, It's stalled again, some one grab the jumper cables...Oh what the hell, I'll just bash it with a rock (Bashes the control panel with a rock until it turns on and flies off into space).
Megan: We have to save her.
Skit: We can't go after her now, they're out of the atmosphere and we have no way to go after them.
Jason: Maybe we do, I have an idea.
Skit: ...I have a feeling this won't end well...
^Five minutes later^
Skit: (A fishbowl over his head, wrapped in tinfoil and wearing dirty gloves and old boots) What the hell is this?
Jason: This is your space suit.
Skit: (Sarcastically) I see you spared no expense on this suit.
Jason: Yep, We even used masking tape on it.
Skit: ...I see that you have no idea what sarcasm is.
Jason: ...Not a clue...But any ways stand right on this X.
Skit: (Moves onto the X).
Jason: All right, now Gohan...Gohan...GOHAN!
Gohan: (His whole body shaking in fear as he dials Videls number on the phone).
Videl: Hello?
Gohan: (Hangs up and dials again).
Videl: Hello...Gohan, is that you?
Gohan: (Hangs up and dials again).
Videl: (Now very pissed) DAMN IT GOHAN, SAY SOMETHING!
Gohan: (Hangs up and begins weeping like a baby).
Jason: ...That even makes me sad to watch that...GOHAN GET YOUR GAY ASS OVER HERE!
Gohan: Okay (Walks over to Skit while still crying).
Jason: Now Gohan, I want you to throw Skit into space, my guess is he'll either hit the UFO or die trying.
Skit: WHAT? YOU CAN'T DO THIS, WHAT HAPPENS IF I'M IN TROUBLE?
Jason: Contact us on this (Hands Skit the communication device).
Skit: This is just a can with a string connected on the bottom of it, which is also connected to the bottom of another can.
Jason: Don't worry, it will work... now hang on tight! Throw him Gohan!
Skit: HANG ON! HANG ON TO WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (Is thrown high into the air).
(Out in space just above the earth's atmosphere, the space ship is stalled and unable to move any further.)
Mervis: (Kicking the control panel) Damn this cheap piece of crap, this is the last time I buy something from goodwill.
Random alien: Should we begin the tests now sir?
Mervis: Why not, let's do it. LET THE TESTS BEGIN!
Random alien: (Presses a button and 18 appears strapped to a table)... LET'S DANCE! (The Michele Jackson song "Smooth Criminal." Begins playing and all the aliens dance like morons in front of 18).
18: (Utterly confused)
Mervis: ...Are you sure this will stimulate the female into mating with us?
Random alien: ...I have no idea...
Mervis: Then why the hell did I hire you?
Random alien: You didn't hire me, you and you're men just came into my house, beat me over the head with blunt objects, placed me in a burlap sack and threw me on here as a scientist. I don't even know why you chose me as a scientist; I pick up dog crap for a living.
Mervis: ................So you're trying to tell me that you're not a scientist?
Random alien: YES!
Mervis: ....Then why did I hire you?
Random alien: ...I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE THIS STUPID!
Mervis: ...Did you just say beer?
Random alien: (Is about to retort when he hears something crash into the side of the ship) ...what the hell was that?
^Outside on the side of the space ship^
Skit: Ow...Pain...It hurts...
Jason: (Through communicator) You there Skit?
Skit: (Amazed that the communicator actually works) ...Yeah, I'm here, strangely enough, but what do I do now, I can't fight all these aliens by myself. Didn't think of that did you dumbass!
Jason: Don't worry, were coming (Soon appears beside Skit with Goku, Piccolo, Vegeta and Krillin; all wearing the same kind of crappy space suits).
Skit: ...WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST DO THAT AT THE BEGINNING INSTEAD OF THROWING ME UP HERE?
Jason: ...I don't know...(Stares stupidly off into space, literally)...Hehehe, cool, a star exploded
Skit: (Goes to strangle Jason, but sighs irately and stops himself) I hate you...Goku, break through the ship and let's get this over with.
Goku: Okie dokey smokey(Gets slapped by Vegeta) Ow...okay (breaks through the ship and jumps in with everyone following behind).
Mevis: ...Hey, there you guys are, about time too, I ordered that pizza 30 days ago.
Random alien: Hey dumbass, their here to rescue the earth women, their not some pizza delivery boys...In fact, why the hell did you think you could order a pizza way out here in the middle of space.
Mervis: ... INTRUDERS! GET THEM!
Immediately a fight breaks out, the groups of green aliens jump at Goku and Vegeta, but with ease they are knocked back as Goku and Vegeta land several jabs and roundhouse kicks to each approaching alien. Piccolo takes of his helmet and uses his laser eye beams, burning all the little aliens into green goo. Krillin, meanwhile, helps 18 out of her restraints. Skit and Jason, having no fighting experience what so ever, grab large, blunt objects and beat any incoming aliens with them. After about 2 minutes, all the aliens are reduced to green stains except for Mervis and Random alien.
Mervis: ...Um...Random alien...Uh attack! ...Random alien? (Looks by his side to see Random alien running into an escape pod) ...Okay, you go get help.
Random alien: (Gives Mervis the finger and flies away).
Mervis: ...Oh...Um...That's it, time I get into the fight, prepare to die (Begins glowing with purple KI and transforms into the queen alien from the movie ALIENS).
Everybody: (Stare dumbfounded)...Gah!
Piccolo: (First to say an actual WORD)...Crap, AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Is picked up by the mutant Mervis and gets pounded into the ground).
Krillin: (Throws a distructo disk at mutant Mervis's head, but the disk bounces off and hits the control panel of the ship, causing it to explode and spread flames).
Skit: Shit, this whole place is going to blow sky high!
Mutant Mervis: (Growls at Skit and begins chasing him).
Skit: DAAAAMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNN (Begins running around in circles while the mutant Mervis chases him).
Jason: I'll save...UGH! (Swatted by the back of mutant Mervis's hand)...Ow, my kidney!
Vegeta: Kakkorotto, let's finish this (Goes super sayian).
Goku: Right (Goes super sayain).
Goku + Vegeta: (Fire giant KI blasts that destroy Mervis in one shot...As well as destroying half the ship)....Oops...
Skit: OOPS, YOU BLEW UP HALF OF THIS CRAPPY SHIP AND WERE NOW GOING TO DIE AND ALL THAT YOU CAN SAY IS OOPS!
Piccolo: (wakes up) GOKU, INSTANT TRANSMISSION, NOW YOU DUMBASS!
Goku: Oh yeah, I forgot about that...Well here we go (Teleports everyone away from the exploding ship just in time and arrive back on Capsule Corp.).
Megan: You guys okay?
Kyle: Dude what happened?
Skit: A whole lot of freaky shit.
Krillin: (18 curled up in his arms and Marron hugging his leg) Well, at least we're safe and those aliens are gone...The only bad thing is that my dog's humping my leg.
Marron: I love you daddy!
Krillin: Damn dog.
Bulma: (Wakes up from her sleep pissed as hell) ...WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE...AND WHERE THE HELL IS MY KILLER ROBOT 9000?
Killer Robot 9000: (Sitting in Hawaii drinking a soda, an entire city leveled to rubble) Ah...Life is good...KILL...MUST KILL MORE! (Gets up and heads off to kill some more)
Goku: ...Look, I have a corncob pipe! (Pulls out his pipe and finds it broken)...Aw.
Vegeta: Dumbass (Knocks Goku over the head).
Goten + Trunks: (Arrive onto the scene wearing hot pink jumpsuits) Hi everybody!
Vegeta: AW, THE THINGS STILL ALIVE...FINAL FLASH (Fires a blast and Goten and Trunks, leveling them to twitching burnt bodies)...Oops.
Skit: Oh well, no one cares about them any ways.
Everybody: (Do that common placed "End the scene with everyone laughing bit").
Bulma: Ha Ha Ha...Seriously, where the hell is my killer robot 9000?
Skit: ...Jason did it and he's been drinking! (Points to Jason before he runs off).
Jason: ...Kyle did it! (Points to Kyle before runs off).
Kyle: ...I did it! (Points to himself and runs head first into a tree).
************************************************************
Joe: (All bandaged up from head to toe and his being carted in a wheelchair by Branden through the woods).
Branden: Don't be so down Joe, at least the bear was kind enough to give you back your eyes...And a lawsuit too.
Joe: (Managing to speak through the bandages) Go to hell.
Branden: ...Why would I want to go to Texas?
Joe: ...Never mind, just head to the lake, we still need to bag something quick, I'm hungry.
Branden: We have food back at the studio.
Joe: ...Okay I just want to shot something, anything, a tree, a bush, a duck, a car...I just wanted to fire a gun.
Branden: Something we all, deep down, want to do.
Joe: Hey look, there's a duck...Branden, bag that duck, I want some chicken wings.
Branden: okay, I'll put you here while I go get (Pushes Joe under a tree and runs off).
Joe: ...Hmm, this is pretty peaceful...Hell, almost tranquil (Suddenly gets attacked by bees, snakes, badgers, bats, wolves, lawyers, censors {Damn bastards}, drunk college kids, birds, dragons...And a few lobsters...)
Branden: (Comes back to find Joe beaten, swollen, bruised, cut, and singed)...Hey Joe, I didn't get the duck, but I got this instead (Holds up a shark).
Joe: (Managing to speak) Don't sharks M-80's in their bodies?
Branden: Now that's just some superstitious crap you heard on Space Ghost, its not...Oops (Drops the shark body...Which explodes, taking the entire forest in a blaze of fire).
Joe and Branden: (Standing their, burnt to a dark black and on fire).
Joe: ...Superstitious huh...You dumb (Tree branch falls on his head)...Ow (Falls over).
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