"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Bubbles.
"What is it?" asked Blossom.
"*N SYNC’S LANCE BASS ONLY GOT $125,000!" cried Bubbles.
"WHAT? HE LEFT THE GAME WITH ONLY 125?" cried Blossom.
"THAT REGIS BASTARD IS GOING DOWN!" said Buttercup, coldly.
"POWERPUFF GIRLS: LET’S ROLL!" commanded Blossom.
"What’s this? An invitation to a special Animé Celebrity Edition of ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?’ Hmm…I guess I’ll go!" decided Son Gokou. "Hey, Gohan! This is a martial arts contest, right?"
DRAGONBALL Z:
MISADVENTURES in THE MILL-YEN-AIRE SHOW
Starring: Goten and Trunks
By: L. Curtis Totty
"This is just perfect!" said Son Goten. "Isn’t there anyone around here who wants to fight us? I mean its almost freaking MIDNIGHT and no one’s trying to mug us!"
"I don’t know, but I hope someone challenges us soon," said Trunks, sipping his Squishee. "I’ve come up with nineteen different, cool ways to use this drink to kill someone, and most of them actually need the stuff to be in there."
"HEY, LOOK OVER THERE! THERE’S SOMEONE WE CAN FIGHT!" exclaimed Goten.
"…That’s a bush, Goten," said Trunks. "How are we supposed to fight that?"
"Oh, sorry," said Goten. "HEY, LOOK OVER THERE!"
"…It’s a rock," said Trunks.
"Oh. HEY, LOOK OVER THERE!"
"…It’s the BUSH AGAIN, GOTEN!" yelled Trunks.
"Hello, Bush," said Goten.
"Oh, now you’re going to talk to it?" asked Trunks.
"‘Allo, Goten," said the Bush.
"WHAT?" asked Trunks.
"Hey, Bush, how come you haven’t had any hits?" asked Goten. "I mean, ‘The Chemicals Between Us’ was okay, and I guess ‘Letting the Cables Sleep’ was all right, but on a whole, your album ‘The Science of Things’ really sucked!"
"I know," said Gavin Rossdale. "These blokes over ‘ere can’t come up with a single, bloomin,’ good, track! I guess that’s why I couldn’t get on ‘‘Oo Wants to Be a Millionaire.’ Damn those Backstreet Boys!"
"Actually, I think it was Lance Bass’s *N Sync that was on last night," replied Goten.
"Wha-ever," said Gavin. "All right, you idiots! Maybe we can sue one of those MP3 web sites like Metallica did and win back our losses! ONWARD!"
"HOOOOOOOO!" Bush was off for another adventure.
"Wha’ a peculiar fellow," said Trunks. "Ah well. Let’s be off to Worcestershire and meet with the Queen and the Sheriff of Nottingham for a spot of tea and crumpets!"
"What are you talking about?" asked Goten.
"Bollocks! I haven’t a bloody idea!" said Trunks.
"HEY, LOOK OVER THERE!" yelled Goten.
"You MORON! IT’S THE ROCK AGAIN!"
"Hmm…The Return of the Rock," said Goten. "HEY, LOOK OVER THERE!"
"You DUFUS! IT’S JUST NAOMI!"
"Hey. Hey! HEY! IT’S DRAGONETT TO YOU TWO!"
"So, what brings you around these parts?" asked Trunks.
"Oh, you know, just travelling from city to city…causing CHAOS…pissing a bunch of people off…you know how it is…" said Dragonett. "Whoops! The time allotted for my cameo is over! See you guys later!"
"Sayonara," said Goten. "HEY, LOOK OVER THERE!"
"Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!" yelled Trunks. "WAIT A MINUTE! THAT’S NOT A ROCK, THAT’S SOMEONE WITH A REALLY BIG HEAD!"
"A big head?" asked Goten. "If they have a big head, they must have big ears! We’d better quiet down and listen." Goten and Trunks hid behind a bush that has sold more albums than Bush. (Badum ching!)
"Okay, girls! Do we have a plan?" asked Blossom.
"Right! We go in there, and BASH THEIR FACES IN!" yelled Buttercup.
"For once, I agree with you, Buttercup," said Blossom.
"Shut up, leader-girl," said Buttercup.
"Okay, girls! Are we ready?" asked Bubbles.
"Yeah!" shouted Blossom and Buttercup.
"I said, ‘ARE WE READY?’" yelled Bubbles.
"YEAH!" yelled the Powerpuff Girls. They flew away.
"Man…" said Goten. "They’re HOT!"
"That Buttercup has got to have the biggest pair of…um…those round things with dots in the middle!" said Trunks.
Goten pondered. "Ti…"
"…EYES I’ve ever seen!" said Trunks. "Quickly, Goten! We must give chase and fight them!" The two young Super Saiyajin flew off into the sky. After a few minutes, they realized they were going in the opposite direction that the Powerpuff Girls flew, and so turned around.
"HELLO, AND WELCOME TO A SPECIAL EDITION OF ‘WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?’" asked Regis Philbin. "DUN DUN DUN, DUN DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! DUN DUN DUN, DUN DUN DUN, DUN DUN DUUUUUN!"
The animé characters were beginning to get a little uneasy by this frightening, American music, especially Son Gokou after the horrible dub of Dragonball Z by FUNimation.
"Tonight on ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?’" asked Regis. "We have:
SON GOKOU: DRAGONBALL Z!
YAMATO "MATT" ISHIDA: DIGIMON!
DUO MAXWELL: MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM WING!
GOLEM: MONSTER RANCHER!
KENTO of HARDROCK: RONIN WARRIORS!
Now let’s play, shall we?" asked Regis. "It’s time for the Fastest Finger Question. Put the following celebrities in order from most important to least important:
A: ME
B: MYSELF
C: I
D: REGIS PHILBIN
Now let’s see who got the answer correct in the fastest amount of time, and the first contestant is…SON GOKOU FROM ‘DRAGONBALL Z!’ COME ON DOWN TO THE HOT SEAT, GOKOU!" beckoned Regis. Son Gokou sat down in the Hot Seat, and turned his chair around.
"Okay, Son Gokou, let’s get…"
"WHEEEEEEE! WHEEEEEEEE! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" said Gokou, as he swung around in the Hot Seat.
"Okay, Gokou. That…that’s enough. What do you say we start playing ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?’" asked Regis.
"Okay," said Gokou.
"All right, Gokou. Here’s the $100 question:
What is the capital of Japan?
A: Yokohama B: Demon City Shinjuku
C: Tokyo D: Satan City
Gokou looked at the question, went Super Saiyajin Level 3, and flew out through the roof, screaming in agony.
"Uh…I guess…it’s time for another Fastest Finger Question!" said Regis. "Okay, here it…"
"MAKKENKOUSAPPO!"
Crashing through the wall with a ki blast and an angry disposition was everyone’s favorite Namek-Seijin, Piccolo-san! "What the hell? What’s going on here?" asked Regis.
"I’m the next contestant, Regis!" said Piccolo. "I have lots of bottled water to buy! This Earth Water is filthy!"
"Now just a second! You just can’t barge in here and expect to become a contestant!" said Regis.
"I’ll do what I feel like, Philbin!" said Piccolo, as he sat down in the Hot Seat.
"Uh, okay, here’s your $100 quest…"
"We’ll be skipping right to the $1,000,000 question, Regis!" said Piccolo. "And I shall have a fourth lifeline!"
"Oh? And what would that be?" asked Regis.
"The ‘Get the One Million Dollars Free’ lifeline," said Piccolo.
"Yes sir…" said Regis. "Here’s your $1,000,000 question:
Which of the following is the greatest animated television show in the world today?
A: ‘Dragonball Z’ B: ‘The Simpsons’
C: ‘Gundam Wing’ D: ‘Space Ghost: Coast 2 Coast’
"I’d like to use one of my lifelines, Regis," said Piccolo.
"Which one?" asked Regis.
"50/50," said Piccolo.
"Okay, Piccolo. Your remaining choices are A: ‘Dragonball Z’ and D: ‘Space Ghost: Coast 2 Coast,’" said Regis.
"I’d like to use another lifeline, Regis," said Piccolo. "Ask the audience."
"All right, audience, Piccolo needs your help," said Regis.
"AND YOU PATHETIC WEAKLINGS BETTER GET IT RIGHT, TOO!" yelled Piccolo.
"Okay, audience, A or D?" asked Regis, quickly. The audience quickly pushed the buttons. "Well, Piccolo…110% of the audience chose A: ‘Dragonball Z,’ which, might I add, is logically, mathematically, and physically impossible. So, what’s your decision, Piccolo?"
"I’m not going to trust these pantywaists," said Piccolo. "I’d like to phone a friend."
("Yeah, like you’ve got one,") said Regis, under his breath. "Who you gonna call?"
"GHOSTBUSTERS! I mean, DRAGONETT!" said Piccolo.
"Oooooooookayyyyyyyyyy…" said Regis. "Our friends at AT&T will hook us up with your friend Dragonette…"
"No, it’s just Dragonett," said Piccolo.
"All right," said Regis.
"Hello?"
"Dragonett?" asked Regis.
"Yeah?"
"Hi, this is Regis Philbin, host of -"
"Hello, Dragonett?" interrupted Piccolo.
"PICCOLO-SAN?" asked Dragonett.
"Yeah, what’s the greatest animated cartoon ever? Is it ‘Dragonball Z’ or ‘Space Ghost: Coast 2 Coast?’" asked Piccolo.
"PICCOLO-SAN DAI-DAI-DAI-DAI-DAIIIIII…suki…"
"Yeah, whatever…what’s the answer?" asked Piccolo.
"Uhhhhhh…I think its ‘Dragonball Z,’ but I’m not sure," said Dragonett.
"Well, then you’re useless to me," said Piccolo. He hung up on her even though he still had fifteen seconds left. "Regis, I want to use my last lifeline. I want to use my ‘Get the One Million Dollars Free’ lifeline!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner of the…"
"NOT SO FAST…"
"…REGIS…"
"…PHILBIN!"
"THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!" cried Piccolo. "What are you doing here?"
"YOU’RE NOT GETTING THOSE MILLION BUCKS, PICCOLO!" yelled Buttercup.
"YEAH! YOU’RE GOING TO GIVE IT ALL TO *N SYNC!" yelled Blossom.
"NEVER!" yelled Piccolo.
"Oh yeah? *N SYNC! GET THEM!" ordered Bubbles. Flipping out of the shadows came *N Sync.
"They’re…dancing…so fast…" said Regis. "Can’t…see…"
"OH YEAH? YOU THINK YOU GUYS CAN BUST A GROOVE, HUH? I’LL SHOW YOU SOME REAL MOVES!" said Piccolo, as he began to do the Namek-Seijig (namely, a strange and dangerous combination between the Macarena and the Twist…don’t ask…).
"NO! HIS MOVES…ARE SO…WEAK!" groaned Billy of *N Sync.
"There’s no Billy in *N Sync!" said Blossom.
Yeah, well I don’t have time to change it. I’m a very busy writer. Anyway…
Suddenly, I just felt like saying "suddenly."
Crashing down through the roof came Son Goten and Trunks. "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, POWERPUFF GIRLS!"
"Who are you guys?" asked Bubbles.
"I’m Son Goten, and I am a Saiyajin," said Goten.
"I’m Trunks Briefs, and I am also a Saiyajin," said Trunks. "So get ready, ‘cause your foolish boy band is going down!"
"That’s right!" said Goten. "We’ve found a musician who’s WAYYYYY cooler than those five Color Me Badd rejects…EMINEM!"
The Boy Band Hater walked out of the shadows, wearing his "Role Model" T-shirt, blue jeans, sneakers, and his microphone in hand. "Whazap, everyone?" asked Eminem. "Say hello to the Real Slim Saiyajin!"
("Psst…Slim Shady, you are a real Super Saiyajin, right?") asked Trunks.
("Don’t worry, little homey. You can grow up to be just like me!") said Eminem. "Now then, as for these five morons…"
"We’ll handle these Super Saiyajin," said Blossom, to Ricky (or Johnny, or whatever) of *N Sync. "You just take care of that piece of Trailer Park Trash!" Eminem was fuming.
Buttercup and Bubbles flew towards Goten and Trunks. Trunks went Super Saiyajin, and advanced toward them, and began to take them on two-on-one. Goten flew forth, went Super Saiyajin, and began to do battle with Blossom. Meanwhile, *N Sync began to circle around Eminem at lightning-speed. "You played-out lesbians can’t defeat me!" said Eminem. He picked up his microphone and began to wow the crowd…
"Hey yo, is this mike on?
Can you all hear me sing my song?
Do y’all ladies have on small thongs?
Are y’all ready for something dead wrong?
Are you feeling my funky s**t?
Are you hearing me spit
These messed up lyrics
For you kids that are sick
Of hearing my hits?
Y’all ain’t hardly ready for this!
Y’all are busy putting earplugs in
Like "I’m not trying to hear him!"
Don’t act like I don’t speak the truth
I call it like I see it!
It’s not like I’m uncouth!
Y’all just don’t understand this!"
*N Sync was blasted into another dimension by Eminem’s rap. "Hey, Little Shadys! It’s up to y’all now!" said Eminem.
The two young Super Saiyajin were losing to the Powerpuff Girls. "We can’t fight them three-on-two!" said Son Goten.
"But we can fight them three-on-one!" said Trunks. "Ready?"
"Yeah!" said Goten.
Goten and Trunks fused into the mighty Gotenks, and were ready to do battle. "I don’t even have to become a Super Saiyajin, let alone Level 3, to defeat the likes of you…"
This enraged the Powerpuff Girls. They fired their strongest eye-lasers at Gotenks. "Please…
KAMEHAME HA!"
Gotenks fired the giant energy blast at the Powerpuff Girls, who were all engulfed by the beam. They managed to survive, but Gotenks was on the offensive again. He grabbed Bubbles by the leg, and threw her into Blossom. He then kicked Buttercup into the ground, followed by a swift uppercut, which knocked her into the other Powerpuff Girls.
"Do you surrender?" asked Gotenks.
"Never…" said the Powerpuff Girls. The sisters joined hands, and there was a bright light, which soon cleared after a few minutes. Gotenks was forced to shield his eyes. Soon, when he looked again, he was utterly horrified.
"I am the Perfect Powerpuff!" said this new creation. "I am Blosutterbles!"
"Blosutterbles?" asked Gotenks.
"That’s right! PREPARE TO DIE!" yelled Blosutterbles. Gotenks quickly transformed into a Super Saiyajin, but he was still no match for Blosutterbles. She was rapidly beating the snot out of Gotenks. Eventually, Gotenks split back up into Goten and Trunks. The two Saiyajin were on the ground, in much pain. They could hardly stand up. "So, do you two have any last words?"
Goten and Trunks rose to their feet, very slowly. "We…won’t be defeated…" moaned Trunks. He grabbed Goten’s hand, and they managed to power up enough ki to fuse into Gotenks once more.
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Gotenks let out a huge burst of energy, that turned him into a Super Saiyajin, and knocked Blosutterbles away, granting him just enough time to power up into a Super Saiyajin Level 3. "YYYYYAAAAAHHHHH!"
"What? No!" cried Blosutterbles.
"Now…" said Gotenks. "Let’s try that one again." Blosutterbles closed her eyes, powering up a huge eye laser attack. She unleashed it upon Gotenks, who dodged it, and punched Blosutterbles in the stomach, followed by a kick into the sky.
"KAMEHAME HA!"
Gotenks fired another enormous energy blast into the air, which engulfed Blosutterbles, weakening her apart into Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles. The three girls lay exhausted on the ground. The set of ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire’ was in pieces. Gotenks turned back into Trunks and Goten.
"You guys defeated them…" said Regis.
"It’s a good thing, too…" said Piccolo. "‘Blosutterbles’ sure is a stupid sounding name." Everyone began to laugh in typical animé fashion, and the sun began to rise for a new day…blah, blah, blah, and all that bloody bollocks.
THE END