Too Late
By Qhettocow
 

    I fell in love with Tifa Lockhart the momentI laid my eyes on her. Her
blossoming beauty and lithe figure took my breath away. Her sweet smile could
brighten up any cloudy day of mine. But I was just a simple outcast, away
from all the other children. Everytime I saw her with these other boys, I
felt my heart shatter into pieces. I never thought that she would know my
name. She was so popular....and I...was just an outcast. One day I would have
the courage to go up to her and propose my love to her...but thats just one
day in the far future. I could have never gone up to her now and tell her of
my growing affection. I was just a nobody then. Even if we were all just
children, I was still a nobody. Children don't know about love our age. But I
learned about love when I saw her. There was nothing that I wouldn't do for
her and protect her. I only wish that she knew it. When the other boys
deserted her, I was the one who had came to her rescue, but at the end, I was
blamed for her injury. I don't mind, I seriously don't, just as long as she
was safe. It had hurt inside, but I was a big boy, I could handle it. One
night, I almost died with joy knowing that she would meet me at the well in
the middle of town. She was so beautiful that the moon envied her that night.
The glowing stars above were nothing compared to her. I wished I was able to
tell her how I felt, but I didn't. She wouldn't have cared anyway. She
doesn't have the affection that I have for her. I knew it in my heart all
along. We were always just friends. Not even close friends too. That night on
the well, I sang my heart out to her. I told her that I was leaving, to join
SOLDIER and make a name of myself, like Sephiroth. At first, I was reluctant
to go when I felt that she had mutual feelings about me leaving too. But
then, I thought of when I had made a name for myself, I would be able to
commit my love to her. My heart soared on the well that night. Not even the
end of the world could ruin that night for me. Tifa had made me promise that
I would come back for her when she was in trouble. But I had made that
promise to myself all my life, to protect Tifa Lockhart. I don't break
promises, especially not this one.

    Joining SOLDIER was harder than I expected. The training was strenuous,
but that was nothing compared to Tifa. She was my angel and the light at the
end of the tunnel. I was beyond confused after infusing with the planet's
energy. I had forgotten most of my memory and everything was faint to me,
except one thing: my eternal love for Tifa Lockhart. It was when I was called
to a mission in Nibelheim that had frightened me. I was ashamed. How could I
go back to Nibelheim as......a Shinra guard?? When I was determined to be a
SOLDIER. Most importantly, how could I face Tifa? She had supported me and
this is how I thank her? By coming home as a Shinra guard? God, help me now
if you really here!

     Arriving at Nibelheim, I had refused to take off my helmet, I couldn't
see Tifa like this. When I saw her again, she had stolen my heart for the
second time. But surprisingly, something was missing. I felt that I had no
longer love her as much as I use to have. Why? How? The thought of her had
helped me survive the roughest days and when I see her now....I have no urge
to hold her within my arms and tell her how I feel? But all that I have is
just a crush? A simple crush? No, it couldn't be. I just have too many things
going through my mind to think about her right now. But since when did Tifa
ever moved to 2nd place in my heart and mind? She was always the first
priority. I was so confused. I guess they call this puberty.

    Seeing Tifa take her picture with Sephiroth and Zack dejected me. I
couldn't help but admit to my jealousy, then again I was always jealous when
other guys were around her when I was a kid. But what could I do now? Run up
to her and expose myself? Tell her that I didn't make it as a SOLDIER and
that I was a failure? No, I couldn't break her heart like that. I never
could. The days came by so quickly. When Sephiroth knocked me out cold in the
basement of the Shinra Mansion, something had went terribly wrong. Coming out
of the coma, I had found my hometown, Nibelheim, burn in flames. My past has
gone down in flames that night also. Everything that I had was in Nibelheim.
My parents, my home...all gone. I was burning with anger at the man I once
called "hero." My role model had destroyed a part of me that I know I would
never be able to have again. Then, I remembered Tifa. Tifa, was she all rite?
Where was she? I prayed to god that she was safe. If anything had happened to
her, I would kill myself. Facing the bare fire, I searched thru her home.
Nobody. I felt a slight sense of relief, but realized that I had to get my
revenge on Sephiroth. There was only one place where he could be right now
and that was the Mako Reactor at Mt.Nibel.

     I could feel his presence as I stepped into the reactor. He will bleed,
I told myself. At first I thought I was just being foolish. There was no way
I would be able to wound Sephiroth, but right now I was too angry and hurt to
think of anything else. When I saw Tifa lying unconscious on the ground, I
thought I was too late and that I had broke my promise. I rushed to her and
placed my arms around her. Hearing her soft pants of distress, I could only
think of one person who could have done this. Sephiroth. His name burned into
my brain and I vowed revenge. If I had just came earlier this wouldn't have
happened. "Its me Tifa, Cloud. I'm here now. Everything's gonna be all
right," I told her and that was a fact. She didn't reply back, she couldn't.
I set her down aside and ran up the stairs to meet him. He was too consumed
in his little one on one conversation with himself to notice me. I know it
wasn't a warriors way of fighting, but a cowards. At that moment I didn't
care about anything. I wanted revenge and I will get it now. From behind him,
I thrust my sword forward, stabbing him in the back. Little that I know, that
this would come back to haunt me. He stumbled forward and blood spurted from
his mouth he demanded to know who I was. "Cloud Strife." I answered with
bitterness. I watched him fall backwards, into the deep black abyss. For a
moment, I pitied him, but that was only a millionth of a second. On that day,
the all-mighty Sephiroth disappeared from the face of the planet and so did
I, Cloud Strife. A part of me was gone, forever.

     When I saw Tifa again 5 years later, I regained my affection for her. I
was so sure that I still loved her and that she was in love with me when I
met her again in Midgar. But somehow...she wasn't my first priority like she
always was. It was when I came crashing down onto Aeris Gainsborough's life
that I had found the light at the other end of the tunnel. This flower girl
was special; to the world, to me. So here I was, my heart separated into two
pieces. On one side I have my love for Tifa Lockhart, the girl that I was in
love with for more than half my life and on the other side, I have my new
found affection for Aeris Gainsborough, the girl I had just met. She became
the light of my day and the star of my night. I hated myself for thinking of
this. I was supposed to be in love with Tifa. I still do, don't I? I was torn
apart, both my heart and soul. I wish I was able to realize who my true
soulmate was. I couldn't possibly live without any one of them. It was when
Sephiroth had pierced thru the back of Aeris, that the world came crashing
down on me. Life had automatically lost all meaning. The day before the final
battle with Sephiroth, I told everyone to realize who and what they were
fighting for. I told everyone that it was my duty to save the planet, it was
all b.s though. I knew that deep inside my heart, I longed for vengeance for
the death of Aeris. Somehow, I knew that Tifa could feel my love for Aeris
and this upseted me. It was true that Aeris was the one whom I had truly
love, but I loved Tifa also, but the not the same as I use to. Everything
changed, people changed.

     After the defeat of Sephiroth, AVALANCHE was everything. Stories
written by fans were posted up the net, action figures were made, and so many
more things. What angered me the most were the stories written by the fans.
At the fact that they pretended to be us and wrote all these incredible
stories and absurd vignettes, angered me at first. So many people have told
me that I would regret it if I walk out on Tifa and come back realizing that
I love her, but Tifa had married someone else. If I had a penny for every
person I came across who said that I was a doffed prick for not accepting
Tifa and that I was a selfish bastard, I think that Bill Gates would call me
"uncle" by now. I had spent more than a dozen nights reading stories like
that. It angered me so much because, why is it always my fault? Why is it
that I had came too late? Did anyone ever realize that it was Tifa who came
too late? She had realized how she felt about me all of a sudden and everyone
expects me to show my love for her and that we would live happily ever after.
But what about me? Why am I always to be blamed for?? Is it not ME who loved
her for more than half of our lives and then she comes to realize that and
expects me to love her back now?? I sound obnoxiously cynical right now, but
that was the truth and I hate myself for thinking of Tifa this way. Tifa is
my best friend and always will be. I love her, almost as much as I love
Aeris. But it was too late, Tifa is no longer number one in my heart. I would
die for Tifa and my childhood love for her never diminished, but it was less.
I just couldn't go propose my love for her now, when I had someone else in my
heart. When I came crashing down into Aeris' life, I knew that our lives were
destined to intertwine. We're bounded together by destiny and fate, if not in
this life, the next. Tifa and I, we were too late. It was too late for her
and too late for me. Too late for us....
 

Disclaimer: Hey everyone, I hoped you like this lil vignette thingy that I
wrote that came to my mind one nite. I had just finished reading this fic by
this guy about how Tifa had found a new love with Zack and Cloud just dropped
in on them thinkin that he and Tifa could be together, however Tifa rejected
him and said that Cloud was selfish and yada yada. This wasn't the first fic
that I've read with issues like that and I was beginning to get all pissed.
How come itz always Cloud's fault? Isn't it Tifa that came too late and
realized that she was in love with Cloud when he had found Aeris? Don't any
of you agree with me? Or does everyone just like to blame Cloud for
everything? >=( For those of you who hate this fic and believe this is the
worst piece of poo that you've ever read...well %*$&%#^ YOU! I'm sorry, but
for my first completed short fic, I liked it. Please send me any
*constructive* critisism and more preferably, fan letters and praises. ^_^
Hate mail WILL be taken seriously and I will be forced to launch an arsenal
attack of mail bombs and virris at you because hate mail is just so damn
mean! And YES!, that is a threat and if u have a problem with that, tough!
^^;;;

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