You tell me you're no worse than I, and if
I'd closely check, I'd find that I am just
as bad as you.

But you are so bad tempered --almost ready
to explode. And lash out when all things
don't go your way.

When I get angry, I am only angry for a
cause, And righteous indignation is okay.

You are so very proud of all the things
that you possess, And brag about your
assets everywhere.

But I'm not proud like you-just have a
healthy self-esteem, Nor does my own self-
image need repair.

I can't believe a word you say - you tell
so many lies. I'm sure you cheat when
paying income tax.

But though I may withhold full truth, you
can't call that a lie. And why should I
reveal unasked-for facts?

You gossip and you spread such tales,
with untold damage done, And sometimes
lives are hurt beyond repair.

But if I tell you privately about some
shameful act, I only tell you so you'll
say a prayer.

You're such a glutton when you eat, and
have no self control. You gobble almost
everything in sight.

But I'm a connoisseur of food, with
educated taste, And food to me is truly
a delight.

You have a judging attitude, and
criticize and gripe About the actions
of all those you meet.

But I am just a fruit inspector, and I
look at fruit, To see if it is bitter,
spoiled, or sweet.

You're stingy with your money, and you
squeeze each dime you own, And never
want to pay your equal share.

But I am only frugal with the money I
possess, And for my later years I must
prepare.

Because I am so holy, I'm concerned
about your sins, And publicly for all
your faults I'll pray. I'll pray the
Lord will chastise you for all the
things you've done, And help you see
the error of your way.

And then I'll offer thanks that I am
filled with righteousness, And serve
my Lord in true humility.

I know He will reward me with the
riches I deserve Because I am a
perfect Pharisee!