AEGIS Campfire Tales: May 2000

Title	The Mother of All One-Shots
Sender	Dariel Quiogue
Game/System	Gamma World
GM	Dennis Ching (AEGIS)

With too few players showing up to hold Animecha last Saturday, we ended up tripping down memory lane to do a one-shot Gamma World adventure.

Dennis GM'ed, Seven and I played mutated humans, Tommy had a humanoid dog, Patrick had (what else?!) a mutated cat, and Gelo played a symbiotic intelligent plant - whose host was a giant rat. Said rat was yellow, and the symbiont manifested itself as brown markings and red cheek spots.

After spending about half an hour making characters, we began play at around 12:00. By about 12:30, we had reached what seemed to be an abandoned bandit camp in the mountains with a tunnel complex underground and were going through the ruins. By 12:45, we had unearthed a sizeable cache of weapons. Part of the cache was a large metal box filled with fist-sized metal spheres in various colors.

My character thought they were canned eggs, and I said so. Gelo began examining the objects ... and Dennis called for an artifact examination roll.

Gelo botched.

The box had contained 25 fragmentation grenades, 11 chemical grenades,15 poison gas grenades, and 10 energy grenades. The blast was enough to obliterate the entire tunnel complex and literally bring the mountain down on our heads. We had been playing for less than an hour.

Not only was this the shortest adventure we have ever had, it was the funniest case of PC death we had ever experienced.

Title One Very Dead Cleric

Senders Richard Tan and Mark Lambo

Game/System AD&D

GM Debin Uraya (WARP)

The party was adventuring inside a fortress, trying to obtain some doohicky magical item.(ok so I forgot)

While running around the area looking for the damn thing and after many encounters Mark's cleric dies. So we decided to haul around the body of this 6 foot tall 350 to 400 pound cleric. (To anyone who doesn't know Mark, that happens to be his real life stats - except the cleric bit).

We thought that anyway we'll just put the cadaver inside this bag of holding and resurrect him later at some temple. (Shit! The cleric died! No one can heal or resurrect!) But since the rest were not that injured we pushed on.

At this point, I'm pointing out that the player of the recently-deceased cleric (yours truly), decided to go off somewhere else in Debin's house to scarf some more munchies. We'd been playing for over eight hours non-stop... [Mark]

After exploring the upper area of the fortress we didn't find the damn thing. So we decided "hey it must be in the basement." So on the way we discover that the only way into the basement was a winding staircase descending around 100 - 150 feet.

GM: (makes a roll) You disarm it [the first trap].

Chay: Holy shit the whole staircase could be filled with traps. And the rest of the castle's defenses could be on us, while we're trapped at the top of this winding staircase. Must find a quick way down. Wait where's the body of that cleric? We might as well put it to good use!

At this point Mark enters the room.

Bonjing: Hey, Mark! We need your help!

Mark: But what could I do? Clerius is dead, you know.

Bonjing: (nodding madly) That's the idea.

Mark: (confused) Huh?

Chay: Sorry Mark. (to Debin) Alright, I'm giving the order to the others... THROW DOWN THE BODY!

Mark: (realization hits him) WHAT!?!

To make things short we were at the top of a stairway when we decided to roll the cleric's body down the stairs to trigger any other traps. The rest of the party were going: "There's a trap.","Theres a trap", "Oooooh there's a trap","Oh yeah thats a trap","Ooooh", "Oh my baby","Yup there's another one", "God, thats one ugly trap", "Whoosh!", "Yikes!","Uh huh a trap." In the end all the traps on the stairway were triggered.

We then picked up the now mutilated corpse of the cleric and exclaimed: "Thank the gods for Clerius' dead body!"

You could say the cleric was more useful to the party dead than alive... [Mark]

Title Trojan Horse Gambit

Sender Butch Syyap

Game/System Shadows Inc. [Marvel Super Heroes]

GM Butch Syyap (SAGA)

Shadows Inc (and a few others) was recruited by a being called Prodigal to battle the 'passions' - other dimensional beings. The war against the passions were fought on many levels and this one in particular pitted Elemram Vest (Adrian Martinez - power:dimension pocket [like the AD&D bag of holding]and high tech gizmos) against the powerful Tatterman (think Batman's Joker but with Magic spells). Dr. Slaughter (Martin Manahan - think Ironman's War machine type hero) happens to be inside Vest's dimension pocket.

Vest has around 6 golfball-sized peepers that can float and transmit audio & video feed to his shades. In this adventure, Vest realizes that Dr. Slaughter found a way into his (Vest's) dimension pocket and could talk to Vest using the peeper.

Vest: showing surprise "What are you doing in there?"

Slaughter: smiling while handling a peeper "Just relaxing and observing your mission - remember, if you need me I'll just be here"

Time passes and Vest encounters one of the Tatterman's flunkies - the battle is joined. Vest's group (with NPCs) is not gaining ground, in fact we could say they're losing the battle.

Slaughter: Re..mem...ber....I'm just here.... (in sing-song mock tones)

Vest: (while busy fighting Tatterman) teeth-gritted "I can handle this..."

Vest is hit by many spells and eventually ends up with 1HP (his companions are down), Slaughter is still inside (he can't get out by himself) and is frustrated with the way the battle is turning while the villain is about to deliver his 'coup de grace' with the next spell...Fireball!!!

GM: What's your next move?

Vest: "I pull him out!" pointing to Slaughter.

Slaughter: "AT LAST...!!! Its about time!..." (in Martin mode) Butch, I'm telling you now...I'm ramming that sucker!

GM: "Initiative..." d10s are rolled and its a tie - simultaneous actions!

GM: "Okay Adrian you pull him out, roll..."

Adrian: "Roll?, I thought it was automatic?"

GM: "Not this time, you're damaged, distracted and tired."

Adrian: "Very well...karma...Butch, after pulling him off, I slump to the ground unconscious". GM simply nods - with karma it becomes an automatic success.

GM:(looking at Martin) "Martin, this is what you see... a dark garbed man and he obviously is gesturing" (spell casting)

Martin's face shows extreme pleasure - Slaughter's favorite ramming tactics will be used after all.

GM inhales with a dramatic pause.

Slaughter: "Well..?! well...?!" (excitement in face)

GM: "As you charge...you suddenly notice a ball of fire appearing from nowhere and its heading your way"

Martin: (with an icredulous look) "...Did you say fireball?"

GM: (now the one smiling) "Yup!"

Martin: "Evade..!!! Karma!! Karma!!" (complete with motion of veering away)

Title 2001: A Shadows Oddity

Sender Tommy Lim

Game/System Shadows Inc. [Marvel Super Heroes]

GM Butch Syyap (SAGA/AEGIS)

The newly-formed and reluctant Shadows Inc team under the leadership of David Harkener (Deke Amador) is scattered all over the conflict zone.

Everyone is equipped with communications systems, flak jackets, balaclavas, military attire, night-sight goggles, rifles and pistols with dum-dum bullets.

The rest of the team was quite uncomfortable with the equipment, most so was fashion model Adrian Foxx (played by me).

As soon as Foxx got into position, he reports to Harkener in the droning voice of HAL of 2001 "What we doing here ... Dave?"

Harkener: "Just watch out for them ... and it's Harkener, Harkener, don't call me Dave."

Foxx continues to rib Harkener in the same drone

"I'm afraid ... Dave." (an actual line from the movie)

Harkener: "I SAID DON'T CALL ME DAVE!"

Foxx, in the same drone "Sure. ... Dave."

Harkener: "Humph. Is everyone else in position"

Everyone else (in the same droning voice) "Yes ... Dave."

Harkener: "AAAAAAAAARRRRGH!"

Title The False Cleric

Sender Dariel Quiogue

Game/System AD&D

GM Ronald Santos (The Band of Rorax)

Warning: this is a rather green story ...

Barry's character Ellona Melonna (the Melon Elf, guess why) was injured. As the party collected itself, our bard, Bolero Con Todo (JJ Mijares), began to administer his version of first aid.

JJ: I'm applying my "holy symbol" ...

Barry: Hey, wait a minute, *that's* not a holy symbol!

JJ: Oh yes it is! It's my Tower of Power!

Everyone: WHAT power?!

JJ: The Power to Deflower!

Title Good Blending

Sender Tommy Lim

Game/System War of Winter [MATRIXX]

GM Adrian Martinez (AEGIS)

Our team was looking for the nine Wicca who could help us find the new King. We are invisible and in flight, thanks to two spells launched by Moraid (Dennis Ching). We spot the Wicca just up ahead surrounded by a large army of Redcaps. Not being able to see each other the three powerful mages of the party; Moraid, Lord Alistair (myself), and Lady Gudrun (Farah Lozano) go to work, each not knowing what the others are up to.

Spellcasting dice were rolled and it is determined that Alistair's spell goes off first, Gudrun's following after 5 seconds, and Moraid's following that by 10 seconds.

Alistair's spell. A large circular pillar of earth rises carrying the Wicca up more than 30 feet in the air. Spell duration 30 minutes. Intention: protect the Wicca.

Gudrun's spell. The thistles grow to an enormous hedge 20 feet high, trapping all the Redcaps. Spell duration 30 minutes. Intention: trap the redcaps

Moraid's spell. A huge whirlwind that is just clear of the Wicca and covering all the Redcaps. Spell duration 10 minutes. Intention: toss the redcaps around.

The result? An army of finely osterized Redcaps ... all we could say was "Oh yuck."

You forgot Cathal's line: "Father Nevin, please bless this ... soup." [Dariel]

Title You Sold Our Ship For What?!

Sender Willem den Toom

Game/System Battletech

GM Lloyd Briones (The Brotherhood of Nob)

The setting was Solaris 7, a world where arena mech competition is extremely popular and a great place for any group of mercenaries to pick up a job or two. This particular mercenary group consisted of me, playing Valten Kurr, a former Ghost Bear clansman, Reiken, a Draconis Combine noble, and a rather dull witted Outworlder named Lander.

Anyways, our mech's were undergoing repairs and we were running low on funds, so me along with Reiken decided to go scour the city for some odd jobs we could put our skills to. We found a beauty of a job. A simple defense mission (it would later turn out to be not-so-simple, pero thats another story) paying a tidy sum of credits.

Unfortunately, while we were away...the Outworlder had money making ideas of his own...For when we go back, we discovered, to our great horror, our dropship had disappeared! We went and looked for the Outworlder, who had a gigantic grin on his face when we finally ran across him outside a storage facility.

Me: Lander! Where is our dropship? It's gone!!!

Lander: Oh...Well guys, I just figured out a way to solve our money problems!

Me & Reiken: WHAT? (we were both thinking the same thing...)

Lander: I sold our dropship!

Me: Who did you sell it to?

Reiken: For how much?

Me: Did you keep a reciept?

Reiken: Do you still have the paperwork?

Lander: I didn't sell it for money...

Me & Reiken: WHAT?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?

Lander then proceeded to point towards one of the larger storage facilities which was being loaded. A crate with a label caught our eyes...Solaris Lager...*sweatdrop*

Me: You...sold...our dropship....for BEER?!?!?!?!?!?

We proceeded to pound the living hell out of him, then went to get a refund on the dropship (the GM was feeling nice)

Title Friendly Fire

Sender Vic Cabazor

Game/System AD&D

GM Augs Cabazor (The Band of Rorax)

Investigating a mysterious area that had suddenly gone winter in the middle of summer. Our band, composed of a neutral fighter (me), a lawful cleric (Barry) and a chaotic thief (Ma'hel) - all of whom were Level 1, determined that the source was an abandoned house near the periphery of town.

One of the first rooms we entered was a library, floor-to-ceiling bookshelves (full of books) on every wall, complete suits of rusting armor on each corner, several battered plush chairs and couches, and a table in the middle of the room. At the precise center of the table was a human skull and in the skull was a lit candle. The place was well lit and yet the only source of illumination was the candle.

The thief, being chaotic (and a bit stupid), started smashing things up; the bookshelves, the armor, and the chairs. He claimed that he was 'disarming' any traps in the room. Our cleric couldn't stand the desecration and fled outside. My character, being neutral, decided to stay and watched with bemusement at the thief's antics.

When the thief smashed the skull, he triggered a fireball spell and was toasted (barely alive), this enraged the thief even more and he pulled out his sword and started hacking wildly. At that point, my character (having stayed near the doorway and succeeded in his saving throw was only partly wounded) left the thief for the relative safety of the cleric.

Outside, several undead monsters (zombies or something, I can't remember) had pounced on the cleric. He managed to turn some of them away.

Unfortunately, there was enough to wound the cleric seriously. Seeing the situation, I unslung my throwing hammer and hurled it at the creature, confident of a kill since he was a grand-master with said weapon.

The attack die was rolled...

It was a critical miss!

Augs determined that since the undead was too close to the cleric, I had to roll to see if my hammer hit the cleric instead.

The attack die was rolled again... and it was a critical hit!!

Augs 'reset' the adventure.

Title What Goes Up ...

Sender Tommy Lim

Game/System Biurndome [AD&D]

GM Louie Toledano (ROUGH)

Our party was on its debut mission and wanted to get to a chest but couldn't because there was something on the floor (I forget what). Our somewhat reckless Cavalier Ulther Sworddweomer (Pablo Bairan) decides to down a potion of levitation and propel himself by clawing the ceiling using a couple of daggers. We also tie a rope to him to help pull him back later.

He test tries moving in the corridor and it's really slow going. Pissed he decides to try and walk on the ceiling and flips around.

His helmet falls. His backpack (he was wearing it) opens spilling everything inside including oil flasks which of course break. All of this makes a riotous racket in the dungeon corridor.

All the party could do at that moment was collapse to the floor laughing.

As for Sir Ulther ... he decided later that he wanted his helmet welded on. Go figure.

Title Don't Break My Harp

Sender Dariel Quiogue

Game/System White Wolf

GM Dennis Ching (AEGIS)

My character, a sidhe knight named Gwydion, usually carries a harp around with him. The story centered around a pair of faery women - a banshee and a siren - who were cooking up a scheme to draw the essence out of people worldwide by selling enchanted CD's.

Gwydion's harp, it seemed, had a limited ability to protect against their mesmerizing music. But when we tried to raid their hideout, the harp was inadvertently left behind.

Tommy: Did you bring your harp?

Me: Uh, no, I forgot!

Farrah: (singing)... Unbring my harp ....

Tommy: (also singing) ... Haaarp of mine ....

Me: (what else?) ... Don't break my harp! My achey breaky harp!

Dennis: Aaaargh! NO MORE PUNS! Next guy to throw a bad pun gets his character hurt really good ...

Title I'll Save You

Sender Tommy Lim

Game/System To Find a King [AD&D]

GM Louie Toledano (ROUGH)

The elven cleric-mage Arcanus (Carlos Kahn), halfling thief Blackhawk (that's me), and half-elven ranger Willow (Froggy Ong) are an interesting trio. We do the darndest things without even coordinating.

A large wyvern was threatening the party from the air and was coming in for a landing.

Blackhawk declaration "I run to the bushes"

Arcanus declaration "I run to the bushes"

Willow declaration "I run to the bushes"

The Paladin (forgot the name, played by Jayjay Tomas) sees the three demihumans run for cover and the rest of the party confused. He bravely declares, "Worry not! I shall save you" and charges straight for the wyvern.

Just as he takes off, from the bushes come:

A lightning bolt (from Arcanus's scroll-mace)

A concussive exploding sling bullet (from Blackhawk's artifact sling)

Two energy bolts (from Willow's artifact bow)

Down comes one very dead wyvern. Jayjay's Paladin reaches the wyvern and wide-eyed he declares "save you ... from what?!"

Title Motivations!

Sender Dariel Quiogue

Game/System [AD&D]

GM Ronald Santos (The Band of Rorax)

Ellis (Victor) is a ditzy young half-elven thief who lives for the joy of finding and accumulating "shiny stuff." She was the pesky kid of the party, the one who kept getting herself - and everybody else - into trouble.

So when the brave band of adventurers was about to enter yet another dungeon, The Picqard (Ron) warns her sternly to remain behind him until her skills were needed.

Now, remember that The Picqard shares with the great captain a certain distinguishing feature ...

Ellis: "Sure, I'll follow him - he's shiny!"

Title Kaboom!

Sender Tom Tiangco

Game/System Mage: the Ascenscion

GM <info n/a>

In this game, all of the players were college students (all mages) who just want to have the best years of our life. The characters are Seth, Simon, Didi, Liz, Corel, and Zandro.

One day, we went to a local restaurant to have lunch. There were six of us around the table. Most of us had Life magic.

Just for fun, Seth gave Simon (the only one w/o life magic) a reason to visit the bathroom. When simon anounced he needed to piss, Zandro decided to give him the urge to take a crap. So by now, the Life magic was oozing in the air, making the rest of us suspicious and we tried detecting what sort of magic effect was brewing. Without telling the others I (Didi) decided to make Simon fart the baddest smelling stinking cloud anyone can imagine once he reaches the restroom. At least that way, we didn't have to smell it.

Little did I know that another player fired up the bowl with Forces Magic, knowing that Simon would be sitting on it, to make a literal hotseat.

A few moments later, we heard an explosion from the bathroom.

Title Kill-Crazy!

Sender Willem den Toom

Game/System Shadowrun

GM Lloyd Briones (The Brotherhood of Nob)

(This is just a rough translation of the game, I'm sure there were a lot of little details which I missed, but I remember the main stuff)

Well, a little background first...our group had stormed a small time corp and stolen some experimental cyberware. So in an attempt to retrieve the goods the corp identified one of the players, a street samurai (SS), and abducted his father. The corp Johnson left a message on the player's vidphone, giving a place where to meet in order to discuss a 'trade' of sorts.

The frantic player called his family and was told that indeed, his father was missing. So he called on his chums, the two other players. Me, playing an ork decker, and the other, Mike Butt (I don't think any of u know him, this was a ways back before I even knew u guys existed) who played a human physical adept.

We arrived at the appointed place, a rather nondescript 4 story building. We proceeded to the third floor...

SS: I draw my gun and listen at the door, any sound?

GM: Nope, none

SS: I kick the door

(stunned silence)

GM: Ok, the door bursts open.

We entered the room, weapons drawn, prepared to fight...the room was very plain, the only piece of furniture was a metal fold-up chair, and standing in the middle was a woman in a business suit.

SS: I kick her.

GM: WHAT?!?

SS: I kick her, I use my entire dice pool

(more stunned silence, dice are rolled)

GM: Ok, your roundhouse kick hits the side of her head, she collapses on the floor, severly injured.

This was followed by a long hmmmmmmmm by the GM. Me and Mike didn't like how things were progressing, but played along as the Street Sam sounded confident and as if he had a plan.

SS: Are there any curtains?

GM: <very tentatively> yes...

SS: I cut a few strips with my bowie knife and tie her up.

GM: Ok, she's hog tied.

SS: I get some water from the sink and splash it on her face.

GM: She wakes up and looks up at you groggily.

SS: "Where's my father?"

GM: "What?"

SS: I slap her. "Where's my father?"

GM: "I don't know what your talking about."

SS: I grab her finger and bend it back till it snaps "Where's my father"

GM: "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just a temporary secretary.

I was just told to come here and deliver a message"

SS: I don't believe her. I slap her some more. Break a few more fingers.

The GM seemed a bit annoyed at this point.

GM: Do you have interrogation or intimidation skills?

SS: No, I have no social skills

Me and Mike affirmed that he didn't, since he normally came in guns blazing.

Mike was the talker of the group.

GM: Fine, fine. The woman, in tears, is sobbing in pain. She says in a weak voice that she is a professional temporary secretary and her service sent her over for this one night job and all she was told to do was deliver a message.

SS:I still don't believe her. Is she wearing shoes? I take off her shoes.

It was getting a bit out of hand...as you can see.

GM: OK OK OK. You all hear a noise at the door. In the doorway is a man in a dark, tailored suit. He looks like a Johnson.

SS: Now we're getting somewhere. I kick him.

The room filled with groans.

GM: Alright already. You wrestle him to the ground and tie him up.

Sammy: "Where's my father?"

GM: "We have your father. He is safe. We would like to...'"

Sammy: "No deals. Tell me where he is."

GM: "You must co-operate if you want him to remain unharmed"

Sammy: I take out my gun and hold it to his head. "Tell me where he is"

GM: "If you kill me, you'll never see your father alive again".

Sammy: I yell "You Bastard!" and pull the trigger ( at this time the player has a triumphant grin on his face).

(more stunned silence...the longest one so far)

GM: "I can't believe it. You killed the Johnson"

Sammy: (still grinning) "Yeah. That will show them who they can boss around and who they can't"

GM: "Yeah... but you killed him BEFORE he told you where your father is..."

Sammy: *!@))$*&!!!

Need I say more? I won't say the name of the player of the Street Sam, out of (or lack of) respect.

Title Whether You Want To Or Not

Sender Joe Rodriguez

Game/System Palladium Fantasy

GM Frank Gonzales

Frank also being the death obsessed guy that he is, finds the cemetery as the "ideal environment" to torment his players in. Time and time again his players find themselves in one cemetery or another fighting off zombies or other undead things.

Time and time again, over and over. Cemetery after cemetery, undead, undead, undead.

Finally we got sick of it.

So I proposed with one of other players that we NOT go into the nextcemetery we come across and he agreed. I was playing an Elven Long bowman named Maka-El who was accompanied by a Human Paladin named Brutus, played by Hector Martinez.

We find ourselves leaving a town and only after a few miinutes of travelling what do we find? That's right, you guessed it! A cemetery

GM: "Okay, the cemetery is right there in front of you. What do you guys do?"

Me: "We detour around the cemetery!"

Hector: "Yes, we go around it completely."

Frank's face showed his disappointment. We knew that he had planned to once again torment us with hordes of undead in the aforementioned cemetery. Refusing to accept defeat he follows up with...

GM: "As both of you are going around the cemetery, you feel a rumble."

Me: "A rumble? What, an earthquake?"

GM: "Yes, an earthquake... an earthquake caused by the entire cemetery as it slowly raises itself off the ground on four, huge, legs made out of bone. The whole cemetery is now chasing you!

"It's chasing the both of you!"

Title When Personalities Clash

Sender Louie Toledano

Game/System Biurndome [AD&D]

GM Louie Toledano (ROUGH)

It just so happens that one of the fighters (played by Aby Barlin) in our little band of adventurers acquired a magical sword. The party didn't know what it did other than it talked. The sword was a little vain, a little loud and really annoying. But because it talked, they kept it. (Players figure, "Hey if it talks, its powerful..")

Aby didn't do too well with the sword. He kept missing for some reason. The sword also wanted to be adorned with this gem and that jewel, wanted a gold scabbard, etc. But since the party was travelling pretty much the middle of nowhere, some of those requests were impossible at that time. The sword was not very pleased with the fighter.

The party stumbled upon a fort. They seperated to do some recon of this unknown structure. As Aby was sneaking about the edges of the treeline, a small band of bugbears passed by. Aby promptly decided the better part of valor was to be hidden and letting them pass.

As Aby quickly flopped down on his belly on the forest floor, the sword yelled, " He's over here!!! Over here!!!"