Date: Sep 1999

Disclaimer: TOS belongs to Paramount, but this story is mine.

Warning: This is humor/parody of some of the feminized K/S, so please don't expect anything too serious. Also warnings for m/m sex/sexual situations.

Summary: This story takes place well after "A Printfan's Nightmare" and about two months before the birth of their daughter. It celebrates an important event.

Note: This story was part of "The Big Birthday" and the tremendous compiled story/party/funfest that was posted on ASCEM and the web page.

"Spock, hurry up. We'll be late for the party and I planned it.

You've got to come now."

"Yes, Jim. I had been prepared for ten minutes before you gave me this task. I am trying to wrap your last-minute present. I will be done in 2.4 minutes."

"I think T'Pat will like them. I know s/he likes silk and I just couldn't resist the black ones. I wonder if s/he will like the book you got."

"It would only be logical as T'Pat enjoys discussing sexuality."

"But a book of pre-reform Vulcan erotic poems? They are so boring."

"This book has served as much of my inspiration in making love with you."

"Hmmm. It seems to work, then. But

'The sun sets over the desert.

We watch the colors cross the sky.

Soon we will lay on the blankets

until the morning light shine upon us.'

Doesn't exactly turn me on."

"Jim, you are not Vulcan."

"What? What does that have to do with poetry?"

"Vulcan poetry, not ..."

"Spock! She's kicking again, feel this." Kirk grabbed Spock's hand and placed it on his extended abdomen. "I guess she likes the poetry." Kirk sighed, "Forgive me, I shouldn't say anything about things you like. Kiss me."

Spock kissed him gently.

"Mmmm. That's sweet."

Spock kissed him again.

"Harder," Kirk begged, pulling Spock's head closer, slipping his tongue inside the slightly parted lips.

Soon, Spock lifted his head. "The party, Jim."

"Oh all right. Come on."

Spock finished wrapping the present and the two left.

"Ooh. It's so beautiful. Don't you think so? I picked the decorations. All that beautiful tangerine goes so well with the royal purple."

"I am aware of the color scheme as I assisted you with the balloons this afternoon."

Kirk leaned in toward Spock, put his head on the taller man's shoulder. "You're so good to me."

"However I had expected you to use gold and blue. That has been your preference since you came aboard ship."

"It was. But the last eight or nine months my whole world view has brightened. I think these more vivid colors are so much more fun."

"Ah yes, Jim. I understand. Tangerine and purple have appealed since you began the pregnancy hormones."

"I guess so," Kirk admitted hesitantly, as he didn't want to believe the beauty before him was not his own innate good taste.

"Jim, please step forward. We are blocking the door." Spock led Kirk into the rooms toward the earlier arrivals.

"Nyota, good to see you!"

"How are you, Captain? You look radiant."

Kirk beamed, "Do you want to touch my tummy?"

Uhura looked hesitant, "Captain? I'm not used to..."

Kirk grabbed her hand to rub his belly. "It's good luck you know."

Uhura removed her hands, clasped them behind her.

"Scotty and Bones are in the kitchen trying to escape the color scheme. Spock, is this typically Vulcan?"

"Indeed not." Spock spoke decisively.

"Then what happened? I thought you were planning this, Jim."

"I did." Kirk looked quite sheepish and grabbed Spock's hand.

"But it isn't blue or gold."

"He is on hormones."

"Oh. Of course." Uhura looked uncomfortable. "You did a great job of...of making the room..um... bright. It sure looks like a party." She hurried off.

Kirk sniffled softly. "Did I mess up? He looked up at Spock doe- eyed.

"No, Jim. T'Pat will love the party." Spock tucked Jim's head under his chin, effectively hiding his slight expression of distaste.

"Love it? Are you sure?"

"As T'Pat is Vulcan, I do not believe that is quite the expression you will hear. Perhaps, 'appreciate' would be appropriate." Spock stroked Kirk's hair, gently soothing him.

A minute later, Kirk startled. "She's kicking again! Oh my aching bladder. I'll be back in a few minutes." Luckily being male was advantageous even in pregnancy, and he was true to his word.

"Time to sit, Jim. You've had a busy day."

"You're right. I am a bit tired. At least my feet hurt."

"I'll rub them later."

Kirk gave Spock a sweet smile, then followed him to a couch.

Forty-five minutes later, T'Pat had been surprised -- at least the Humans had yelled 'surprise' as they popped out of their hiding places.

Uhura and Sulu had served the cake and ice cream without commenting on the terrific tangerine color of the icing or the preposterous purple of the ice cream. Sadly, they had matched the decor. Scotty, in charge of drinks, was now just a bit tipsy, but the rest of the partyers were just a bit mellow -- if they had accepted.

Spock had surreptitiously served Kirk and the Vulcans seltzer water.

Kirk was pouting over being denied a second piece of cake by Bones for 'weight control,' but was beginning to feel better as Spock had re-seated himself next to him on the couch and reminded him of the promised foot rub.

T'Pat re-entered the room from the kitchen and took a seat next to hir mate. Kirk looked up happily.

"It's time," he exclaimed, "for the presents."

Uhura jumped up and started handing over packages. A bottle of Scotch from Scotty 'for parties,' music for a song and a promise to sing it later from Uhura, a vial of sandalwood massage oil given anonymously (but a quick glance at a certain t'hy'la gave away the origin). Kirk looked up at Spock curious about the choice of oils, but intrigued at the thought. T'Pat slid closer to this very important person.

They touched two fingers long enough for McCoy to interrupt with a cough. T'Pat calmly lowered hir fingers to the next package; while, Kirk jumped an inch and quickly removed his fingers from his t'hy'la's inner thigh.

Spock caught his hand and held it quite modestly at mid thigh, casually stroking the back of the errant hand with his thumb. Kirk leaned back into the couch thankful that maternity clothes were loose. After a moment, as Spock's thumb continued, Kirk carefully adjusted his loose tunic downward, just to be sure.

Slowly he felt Spock's presence joining his through their touch.

Warmth. Intimacy. Sensuality. And a memory of a touch of slick oils. Kirk flushed slightly and sent back blatant sexual feelings of the results of such touch on his favorite Vulcan. Spock quickly withdrew his hand.

"Come on, you two. Can't you keep your minds on the party?" interrupted McCoy's voice.

T'Pat and hir mate looked skeptically at McCoy as Kirk and Spock both looked carefully at Spock's feet (since Kirk couldn't see his own).

"What's next?" asked Sulu.

"Mine, mine," yelped Kirk excitedly. "T'Pat will love these."

T'Pat picked up the package, the only one in tangerine wrapping paper with a purple bow. S/he carefully removed the paper, then stroked the contents. "Black silk. It is beautiful, Jim."

"Thank you. But unfold it."

S/he did, revealing rather oddly shaped pieces of fabric. S/he raised one eyebrow at Kirk. "Sheets that will not completely tuck in?"

"Not quite," Kirk giggled, hardly containing himself.

T'Pat's t'hy'la whispered something in hir ear. T'Pat's other eyebrow rose. "For a bunk?"

Kirk laughed, "Sort of. The mattresses they fit are a bit thin and the sheet has to tuck in more at the top." Kirk paused, looking quite pleased with himself, "They fit the new double-wide beds that will be on the refitted Enterprise. "

"Double beds, Jim?" and "Who gets them?", exclaimed Uhura and Sulu in unison.

"Senior officers and registered couples, per my insistence." Kirk grinned, "We got tired of almost falling off the narrow bed or having to use the floor."

Uhura laughed. McCoy coughed and Spock squeezed Kirk's knee.

"Oops. Sorry Spock, but they all know that we..."

Spock squeezed again. Kirk closed his mouth.

"Sheets for the Enterprise, sir? But she is in dry-dock." T'Pat sounded skeptical.

"Only till next year. But I found out yesterday that both of you have been assigned to her when she next ships out. I asked for you."

T'Pat squealed with delight until s/he caught hir mate's gaze and gained again the stoic facade. "Please accept my appreciation."

"And I bet the top sheet could be used on most beds!" Kirk hinted wickedly," I got the tangerine ones for us."

Spock flushed green again, "Jim. I beg you."

"Yes, you will."

"Should I take you home?"

Kirk grinned at the party goers. "He's always trying to get me into bed."

"To rest, Jim. Apparently you are too fatigued to behave yourself."

"Pooh," responded Kirk. "Open the one from Spock, T'Pat."

T'Pat spread the silk over hir lap, smoothing it with both hands, then opened the plain blue package from Spock.

"Oh, Spock. I have heard of this one but never read it. Thank you." T'Pat sounded quite sincere.

Hir t'hy'la looked down at the book, "Indeed, Spock. This poetry is considered inspirational by many."

"That is its reputation. And the leather cover is supple as is appropriate to the contents."

The Humans in the room stared at them, confused, "OK give," came a male voice from the back of the room.

"It's Vulcan erotica," put forth Kirk as Spock proclaimed, "It's pre- reform Vulcan poetry."

"Read some, T'Pat," came another voice, as every Vulcan in the room flushed slightly.

T'Pat opened the book and picked a poem at random. "Here's one.

'The Tent in the Desert' by T'Relerie.

My tent is large and open in the day

Desert winds sweep through, cooling

At night we unfurl the closures.

The warmth within cheers me.'"

The Vulcans glanced at each other. Spock's hand took Kirk's and his thumb began stroking Kirk's palm. T'Pat's breathing rate increased almost imperceptibly and hir t'hy'la began stroking the silk.

The Humans still looked curious. "Read another, please." from Uhura.

"'The Rains'

I have never seen the rains

But it is legend

The rains once came bringing water to the land

and life

As I will to you."

T'Pat stopped reading. Kirk looked around at his friends. Spock was giving off strongly erotic vibrations, and it was clear that T'Pat was similarly affected.

"I don't get it," McCoy's voice interrupted the silence. "It's really pretty bad poetry."

"Maybe those weren't good examples, Len," Uhura played peacemaker.

"Perhaps they lose a wee bit in the translating?" queried Scotty.

Spock looked up from his preoccupation with Kirk's hand and answered, "I believe you are correct, Mr. Scott, although cultural references may be the missing factor."

"And I think we'll leave it at that," Kirk commanded as he squirmed in his seat, hoping the guests would think it was due to the pregnancy.

"We will make appropriate use of the gift, Spock. Our appreciation," stated T'Pat's t'hy'la seriously. "Your mate appears uncomfortable."

"Indeed he does," Spock agreed, "Jim, do you wish to retire?"

"It might be best, Spock. Let's let the young folk finish out the party." At the outrush of 'Good grief's and 'You're not old yet's, Kirk grinned, "Ok, Ok. Let's let the not-pregnant folks party on.

Spock I need you."

"Yes, Jim." Spock sounded a touch expectant, his thumb still tracing Kirk's knuckles.

"Yes, please, please help me up. I must weigh a ton and the couch has caught me. Besides my feet hurt."

Spock helped Kirk to his feet as Kirk's face turned sad. Apparently realizing the need to forestall another argument, he spoke quickly, "You are not overweight, you are beautiful."

"Are you sure?"

"Indeed." Spock leaned closer to Kirk. "If you will take your leave, I will take you home and prove it."

Kirk sniffled, "Oh, you say the sweetest things, Spock."

Turning to the room, Kirk proclaimed in general, "Good night everyone." Then turning to T'Pat, "Happy Birthday. I hope you've had fun."

"Jim," said Spock in his warning voice.

"OK. T'Pat, I have had fun. Thanks for letting us share your day.

Call us soon."

"Thank you, Jim and Spock. I will do so." T'Pat raised hir hand in salute. "Live Long and Prosper."

Spock responded in kind, then tugged on Kirk's arm, leading him to their transport. "Jim, please hurry."

"Don't rush me. My feet hurt. You always forget," whined Kirk.

"I have not forgotten, but if you will hurry, I may rub them sooner."

Shortly afterward, Kirk lay on their tangerine-colored silk-sheeted bed, one foot cradled in Spock's lap, warm, tender fingers massaging away his pain. "Mmmmm Spock. I guess you do really love me."

"Did you doubt it?"

"A couple of times today you were so short with me. And you didn't like the tangerine and purple," Kirk complained, but sighed happily as his foot was rubbed.

"Jim, you know I love you. I am sorry that you doubted me. Give me your other foot now."

"Oh yes, that feels good."

Spock rubbed the slightly swollen foot gently, then rubbed up Kirk's calf, massaging away additional aches and pains. "I am pleased to be able to make you feel better." He stopped rubbing, placed the foot on the bed. "Would you care for some tea before going to sleep?"

"Sleep?"

"You said you were tired, Jim."

"But you said you'd show me I'm beautiful," Kirk replied, lifting a hand to Spock, who looked down lovingly at his seven months pregnant bondmate. He took the hand and stroked it. "Did this not prove to you that you are beautiful to me?"

"I thought you wanted to make love to me. You held my hand and sent me lusty thoughts. That used to mean you wanted me." Tears began to trickle down Kirk's face.

Spock knelt beside him and kissed him. "You know I desire you. I could not hide that fact in the bond, or from many at the party tonight. But you need rest."

"No I don't. I just had sore feet. Now I want you."

A sparkle appeared in Spock's eyes. "Thank you, Jim. I do need this."

"That love poetry again."

Spock looked away hiding a slight blush as Kirk grinned at him.

"Indeed."

Quickly Spock stripped off his mate's clothing, kissing him once on the forehead and once absent-mindedly on the shoulder. Kirk cooperated and looked on in amazement, "I guess you really did want me. You are in such a hurry."

"Shhsh. I have been controlling for too long."

"Oh Spock. I do turn you on! I'm so happy." Kirk smiled and blinked back tears.

Spock pulled him to a seated position, then stacked all of the pillows down the middle of the bed, three near the head and three precisely 2.3 feet lower. Kirk watched curiously until Spock pulled at him. "This is correct, Jim. Please place yourself on top of the pillows."

Kirk complied with a bit of pushing from Spock. "I don't get it.

Where'd you get this idea?"

"I read it in the literature you acquired at the obstetrician's office.

The pamphlet was called 'How to Have a Sensual Love-Life While You Are Pregnant.'"

"You read that? I thought it sounded silly."

"I wished to know more and to be prepared," Spock replied as he stroked Kirk's bare back, kissing one muscular shoulder. "The pillows will support your hips and chest so that our daughter will be safe, yet leave you open to me." As he spoke, he ran his hand over Kirk's upturned buttocks, then slid a finger in between. "Yes, this position has benefits," continued the Vulcan in a deepening voice.

"But I can't move," Kirk grumbled.

"I can." Spock stroked Kirk's right flank firmly down, then slowly back up, finally reaching to cup his balls.

"But I feel so exposed with my buns in the air."

"This position does have its appeal."

"Why can't I be on top? It's my turn."

"Your feet are sore. The last time you were on top, you cut off the circulation to your legs and ended up with swollen feet and ankles and that was several weeks ago. Thus, that position needs to be avoided until your feet feel better or until you deliver."

"Yes, the silk feels good on my feet, but..." Kirk began, stopping as a slick finger began to enter him. "Mmmm."

"Relax, I will make you feel beautiful."

"Mmmm. Yes," Kirk groaned as Spock's finger slid farther in.

Spock removed his fingertip, bent to pick up a small bottle near the bed, poured a small quantity over his fingers. The scent of the oil reached Kirk's nostrils just as the finger circled his opening and began to slide back in.

"Sandlewood oil. That's a new one."

"It is. I had forgotten the vial my Father gave us at our bonding ceremony."

"Smells good," Kirk murmured, "But in me? Usually I rub the massage oil on you."

"Indeed you shall. Shortly." The Vulcan inserted a second slick finger, gently into the precious body.

"Oooh. Oh, yes I will. Ahhhh," Kirk moaned.

Spock bent over Kirk's back, kissing his shoulder, then shoulder blades as he moved his fingers in and out. His breathing became more rapid as he stroked. "This scent is enticing."

"Kiss me Spock."

"I am."

"On my mouth. Geez, I need to feel your tongue."

"I can not reach both ends of you at the same time."

"Please!" he mewled. "I want you to."

"Very well, Jim." Spock removed his fingers, wiping them carefully with a wet wipe, before pouring another aliquot of oil into his palm, sighing as he spread the oil over his palms. He rolled onto his back next to Kirk, using his oiled hand to caress Kirk's neck and upper back. He looked up into the Human's eyes, then lifted his head to kiss him. Warm lips met cooler ones, gently. Kirk sighed.

Soon the kiss turned passionate, tongues met and dueled. Spock's hands caressed Kirk while Kirk tried to move one arm to reach Spock. He struggled for a moment, finally reaching out to touch Spock's chest. "Oh no. Spock, I don't want to feel your shirt. Get naked, now." Spock stood to undress, standing to the side so Kirk could watch. "You're so beautiful. So slender and muscular," the Human commented as the Vulcan stripped off his shirt. "And so hard. I think you like that oil," he teased, then continued as the pants were tossed to the floor, "Kiss me one more time, then I want you."

Spock readily complied, kissing his lover deeply, then kneeling beside him. "Taste me, Jim."

Kirk turned his head toward Spock, opened his mouth. Spock leaned forward, easing a small portion of his penis into the wet opening. Kirk tongued him for a moment before gagging. Spock withdrew. "I'm sorry, Spock. Must be the angle. It's hard to do that these days, everything seems to upset my tummy. If you want to help me sit up, I'd be happy to try again."

Spock sighed, then crawled across the bed. He bent over Kirk, kissing his back and stroking his sides, and rubbed his penis in the sandalwood oil-slicked crevice between Kirk's upraised buns.

Spock gasped, "Jim, I burn for you. The oil...my manhood feels so hot. Do you feel it?"

"Yes, yes." Kirk flexed his hips, as much as he could in his position, causing the slick hardness to caress his equally slick crevice.

He leaned almost to the point of lying on Kirk, reached around the bulging belly, and managed to grasp the Human's penis. Kirk gasped, then whimpered, "feels so good, Spock."

Spock stroked Kirk with his penis and his hand, slowly, patiently.

Sweat beaded his normally dry brow, as he gently aroused his t'hy'la. The muscles of his thighs flexed, his penis quivered against Kirk. Soon Kirk was wet with need. "Spock, fill me so we can come together. Oh, you feel so good."

Spock withdrew his hand, placing both hands on Kirk's hips to position himself. Kirk whimpered at the loss of the hot hand, "I want your hand back."

"Soon, if you still desire it. But I need both hands so that I can carefully enter you."

"Yes, yes."

"The rains once came bringing water to the land...and life. As I will to you."

"What Spock? That poem?"

"It is my inspiration tonight. Such beauty?"

"Huh?"

"I wish to be to you as rain from the sky, filling you with liquid.

Giving you life within." As he spoke he slid into Kirk, pausing for the muscles to relax, "I will fill you as my ancestors filled their mates. Hot liquid shot deep within."

"Oh. Please," Kirk moaned, suddenly understanding the poetry and wanting the fulfillment. "You have already filled me with life.

Come in me again."

Spock moved. Thrusting deep and slow. Pulling out and returning.

He moaned. Sweat dripped off him onto Kirk's back.

Kirk shivered.

"The sandalwood oil. You are smoothing it onto me." Human groan. Vulcan moan. "Oh the tightness of you. And the oil between us. I feel heat, so hot."

The sounds became incoherent as the Spock plundered Kirk and Kirk took him in. Soon, both men were gasping for breath. "I'm so close." "Rain in the desert." "Now." And their shouts echoed in the room.

They slept spooned together, Spock's arm draped lightly over his daughter, his breath warm on his bondmate's neck.

****

The next morning, Kirk awoke and ran to the bathroom. Spock rolled over and looked up at him when he returned. "Are you in distress?"

Kirk sat down, "Oh no, you silly Vulcan. Just the kid kicking the bladder again." He lay down with his head on Spock's chest. "That sure was fun last night. Care for a rematch? My feet don't hurt right now." He stuck out his tongue and licked one soft nipple.

"Mmmm. You taste good. Sort of salty. Guess I got you sweaty last night." He licked again, this time swirling his tongue around the edge.

Spock reached up to stroke his hair and stretched out languorously.

"It would be my pleasure."

"Hee hee, Spock. You don't say things like that." He continued licking lazily. "You feel so warm and snugly. And last night you were so hot and hard. Yes, you were wild."

"Indeed. I felt strongly compelled to join with you."

"Over and over." Kirk reminisced, "I think we should try the sandalwood oil again." His stomach growled. "Ignore that noise," he commanded.

"Yes, Captain," Spock responded as he squirmed trying to get his nipple farther into Kirk's mouth. "More."

Kirk sucked gently, then opened his eyes, looking down at an already hard, green penis. "Oh yes. You are ready. I like to see you like this." He shifted to take the other nipple into his mouth.

"Mmmm."

"Yessss." Spock attempted to roll toward Kirk, then rolled back as his thigh met Kirk's belly. "Tell me what to do."

"I want to do what you did to me last night." His stomach grumbled. "Where is that sandalwood oil? I want to rub it on you." He grasped Spock's penis and rubbed it firmly, "Here and here."

Spock handed him the oil. Kirk's stomach grumbled. He took the bottle, opened it and sniffed. "Who'da thought this stuff would be so much fun."

"Jim...please, touch me. I ache." Spock tried to pull Kirk's hands to him. "The smell is enough to make me need you."

"Just the smell?" Kirk teased.

"Combined with your presence."

"That's better." He dripped one drop of oil onto the towering penis, one drop onto the balls below, and his stomach growled.

"Oww. Good grief. I'm sorry Spock. I've got to eat. I'll be back soon." He struggled up off the bed, belly forward, penis erect. "I bet I look silly," he said, as he rushed out of the room.

Spock shook his head and breathed deeply. He sat up, put on his robe, picked up Kirk's and followed his lover into the kitchen.

"Would you care for some cereal?" he asked as he approached the frantically searching Human. "It would be preferable to the ice cream in your hand. Remember cereal settles your stomach in the morning."

"You are so good to me. Yes, I'd like that. I'm sorry I ran out on you."

"It is acceptable under the circumstances." Spock handed a bowl to Kirk.

"I wonder if T'Pat and hir t'hy'la enjoyed the presents?"

"I do not know."

"Maybe they will call and let us know."

"I do not believe they will be calling so early if they did indeed enjoy the presents."

"I guess not, they don't have a cranky, hungry baby to feed."

And sure enough, several hours later, Kirk entered the living room and saw the com light blinking for an incoming message. "Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock. We express appreciation for the gifts. The poetry was inspiring, especially when combined with the aphrodisiac properties of the sandalwood oil, and the top sheet does indeed fit a regular bed. We have also determined that the soil may be washed out of silk by the judicious use of warm water and sonics. I predict that this information will be useful to you as well.

Live long and prosper. T'Pat"

Kirk giggled, "I guess they did like the presents. A Vulcan aphrodisiac, I should have known from the way you reacted. Now, Spock, how do I program the machine for warm water?"

The End