As soon as he was in the door to the apartment, Xander dropped his briefcase, tore of his jacket, and pounced on the vampire who was dozing on the couch. He nuzzled and licked along Spike's neck and began to tug his shirt free from his pants before he was stopped by firm but gentle hands on his wrists.

"None of that today, pet," Spike said as he used his superior strength to lift Xander up and off to one side.

"Why not? I took the afternoon off, and we've got those new handcuffs..." Xander pouted and began to slide his leg back over Spike's.

"It's No Kerfuffle Day. As much as I'd like to try out our new toys, we can't do anything today that would upset anyone."

"Oh, come on, Spike. You want me, and I want you. What's wrong with that? And it's not like you care if you offend anyone, anyway." He tugged one of his wrist free and began to slide his hand down Spike's lean torso.

With an unhappy sigh, the vampire disentangled himself from Xander and got to his feet.

"It's just one day, pet. It won't hurt for us to stay away from each other for that long."

"I'm already hurting," Xander grumbled, shifting in his seat to try to find some relief from the unpleasant pressure of his pants.

"I know." Spike adjusted himself in his own jeans and gave Xander a rueful smile.

"So what do you want to do, then? I've got all afternoon. Want to watch a movie?"

"Well, there are some studies that say that movies lead to desensitization to violence and to unrealistic ideas of human interaction. Plus, some of them suck."

"Okay, how about video games?" Xander asked.

"Ditto with the violence and the sucking.. Also bad for socialization."

"But we'd be playing together. That's social."

"Sorry, pet."

"So I guess computer games are out, too."

Spike nodded.

"Uhh... well, we can't go for a walk, since it's still sunny. How about reading? How could anyone complain about reading? We could take turns reading the new Harry Potter out loud."

For a moment the vampire perked up, but then his face fell and he shook his head.

"Some people think that Harry Potter leads people toward witchcraft and want the books banned. So that's no bloody good either."

"Witchcraft? That's absurd! I checked with Willow that none of the spells work before we started to read them aloud."

Spike shrugged.

"And, you know, optometrists could get upset about us ruining our eyes by reading with not enough light."

"God, this is hard," said Xander. "I mean, people can get upset about pretty much anything."

"Yeah, but I think that it's good to have a Kerfuffle-free day."

"I can't believe that you're being so supportive of this idea. What's so good about it?"

"Well, if there's one day when there's no arguing that means that the rest of the time you're supposed to disagree loudly and to offend people. Can't complain about that."

Xander laughed.

"Now there's the Spike I know and love."

Spike grinned, and his eyes grew dark as he watched Xander from across the room. His fingers flexed at his sides, which was usually a sign of impending Xander-ravishing, but he didn't make a move forward.

"God, a whole day?" Xander asked, letting his head fall back against the couch and rubbing his hands over his eyes.

"I'm afraid so, pet."

"What are we going to do? Maybe I should just go back to work."

"I do have an idea," Spike said.

"What's that? Should we make lunch? I've got the makings for pasta primavera. Oh, no, that might upset vegetable activists. Plants are people too."

"I was thinking about meditation."

"That's so much better. Let's sit around and chant instead of doing something actually fun."

"Well, it's quiet, peaceful, and pretty much inoffensive."

Xander opened his eyes and stared at Spike. From the entirely innocent tone of his voice, it was clear that the vampire was planning something.

"Meditation?

"Yeah. You know. Lying down. Together. In the bedroom. With the door closed. With no one else around to watch us."

Xander grinned and got to his feet.

"But isn't meditation supposed to be quiet?"

"Didn't we buy a ball gag with the handcuffs?" Spike asked, backing into the bedroom and lying back on the bed. He lazily raised his hands above his head and curled his fingers around one of the rails of the headboard.

"Oh, yeah," Xander said, his grin widening.

"Good. I'd hate for the loud chanting to bother anyone."

"We'll definitely have to use it, then," Xander said, and he stripped off his shirt before firmly closing the bedroom door.

~end~