Spike shucked off his duster the moment he got in the door and was halfway through stripping his slime-soaked t-shirt over his head when Xander walked into the front hall.

"You know, Spike, we moved into this apartment specifically because it has a private porch," Xander said with the weariness born of having had the same discussion dozens of times before. "Couldn't you have left your coat and the worst of the demon goo outside?"

"It's cold out, and it's just a little Ketlar blood. No need to get your knickers in a twist," Spike replied, tossing his shirt onto the tile floor. "It'll wash right off with some water." He frowned down at the puddle of bubbling brown liquid. "Maybe a bit of soap."

"It looks kind of like a root beer float, but I wouldn't want that on the floor, either." Xander leaned closer, but Spike held him back with a warning hand.

"Don't touch it, pet. Those white floaty bits are some of its lymph. Won't hurt you, but it turns human skin green. Only lasts a week, give or take, and it's right popular with the club kids in L.A., but I'm fond of you the color you are."

Xander took a step back.

"It'll turn me green, and you still brought it into the apartment?"

"Like I said, it'll clean up."

"You're doing it," Xander said.

"After a shower and some blood." Spike bent to untie his bootlaces.

"I'll get your blood ready, while you clean it up. Now." Xander turned toward the kitchen and then back to Spike. "Oh, and I found out what that smell coming from the attic was. You can take care of that, too."

"What was it? An Albanian stink demon? A nest of those scaly purple squirrels Rupert had in his eaves last fall?"

"Nope. Just a mouse."

"A mouse? One little mouse made the attic smell worse than the Slayer's last attempt at meatloaf?" Spike looked up as he pulled off his boot.

"One not-so-little rotting dead mouse," Xander clarified.

"That's bloody terrific. Why didn't you take care of it?"

"I found it after I had already showered, so I thought I'd leave it for you for after patrol."

"Get rid of it yourself." Spike removed his second boot and dropped it heavily to the floor.

"Come on, Spike. You've been killing demons all night. What's one more stinky, oozing carcass?"

"I'm not bloody touching it," Spike said in a voice that didn't brook argument.

Xander, of course, argued.

"Why the hell not?" he asked. "You're already messy, and you don't breathe so you won't have to smell it. What's the problem with picking up one mouse corpse? I can get you a plastic bag if you're too squeamish to touch it with your hands."

Spike shuddered and shook his head.

"I love you more than anything in the world, pet, but even I've got limits."

"You spent more than a hundred years killing people. You must've left tens of thousands of corpses behind you, not to mention all the demons you've slaughtered. What's wrong with one stupid mouse?"

Spike's eyes focused on the still-bubbling ooze on the floor as he mumbled, "It'snotfresh."

"What?"

"If it smells that much, it's not fresh. I don't like rotting things. They're all... squishy."

"But you killed people," Xander said, incredulous. "You must've seen them rot."

Spike straightened up and glared at him.

"I'm a vampire, remember? A predator, not a sodding carrion-eater. I was usually long gone before the bodies started to smell."

"Oh yeah, you're a big and scary vampire, but you're going to make me get rid of the mouse."

"You're the one who's been saying it's not a big deal," Spike reminded him.

"Yeah, but that's 'cause I wasn't going to have to touch it." Xander wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Thanks ever so. Nice to see you've got my interests at heart."

"Well, you've got the super-sensitive nostrils. I can't smell it except when I'm up there, so there's no rush on my end."

"It's only going to get worse," Spike said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It'll still bother you more." Xander mirrored the gesture.

"Like you already said, I don't have to breathe."

"Yeah, god forbid you have to do something you don't want to," Xander said with sudden anger.

Spike caught Xander's arm before he could walk away.

"What's this?"

"Let me go, Spike. I've got to clean up yet another mess."

"Xander, what's going on?" Spike stepped over his sodden shirt so that he could stand directly in front of him.

Xander shook his hair out of his eyes and gave him a cold stare.

"It's just more of the same vampire crap you always pull. You like living here because you can sleep all the time, drink as much blood as you want, and go kill things at night."

"Don't forget getting to shag you whenever I can catch you," Spike interjected.

"Yeah, that too. And I'm not saying I don't like living with you, but if I ask you to do anything you don't feel like doing you refuse."

"Because I don't want to do it."

"But I asked you. Me. You're supposed to want to please me."

"I do want to please you, pet," Spike said, sliding his hand around Xander's waist.

Xander pulled back.

"You're missing the point. You can't just say no every time I ask you to do things. Yeah, you're a vampire. Yeah, you've lived more than a hundred years. Yeah, you used to have minions to do your bidding. But you're here now, and I'm not your minion."

"I know you're not, and you're overlooking some important facts. I didn't wash my own mugs back in the day."

"You didn't have mugs. You drank right from the human," Xander said.

"Now you're missing the point. I do things I don't want to do because you want me to do them. Or do you think I like to take out the trash or mop up the puddles on the floor after my shower?"

"You complain about it enough."

"Of course I do, but I still do it," Spike said, rolling his eyes. "Because you ask."

"Yeah, but..."

"You're always happy when I ask you to stop by the butcher's on the way home because the blood in the fridge's gone off?"

"No, but..."

"We both do things we don't like because we love each other, Xander."

"I know we do," Xander said more quietly. "So..."

"I'm still not cleaning up the mouse," Spike said firmly.

"Come on, Spike." Xander pouted at him, but Spike's gaze didn't waver.

"No. But if you do it right quick you can join me in the shower."

Xander considered that idea for a moment and then nodded.

"Okay, but you've got to wash the floor the right way and not just splash some water on it."

"It's a deal. Everyone's got to give in a relationship, right?"

"Oh, I'll give. You just wait until the shower." Xander smirked at Spike over his shoulder before disappearing into the kitchen.

Spike grinned in anticipation and went off to fetch the mop.

~end~