"I'm bored," Spike said, nudging Xander's thigh with his toes.

"Alert the media," Xander said. He didn't look up from his book. "That's earth-shattering news."

"I'm bored," Spike said again. He pushed harder with his foot, and Xander shifted slightly on his end of the couch. He still didn't look up. "What are you doing?"

"I'm reading. You might try it. I hear it's a good solution for boredom."

"Don't feel like it."

"Watch some TV."

"Nothing's on." Nudge, nudge.

"Then go out and kill something. That always makes you feel better."

"Don't feel like it."

At that, Xander glanced over at Spike.

"Are you feeling okay? I thought that last batch of blood looked a little old. Is your stomach upset? Do you want some tea?"

Spike shook his head and stroked his foot along the outer seam of Xander's jeans.

"I'm fine. Just bored."

"Oh. Okay. Good."

Xander patted Spike's foot and went back to his book.

Spike squirmed around on the couch until his head rested on the cushions by Xander's shoulder.

"What's the book?" he asked.

"Hmm? Oh, something for school."

"Didn't know you going to college would cut so much into my recreational time."

"All of your time is recreational," Xander said, flipping to the next page. "You don't have a job."

"I pay my way 'round here."

"By roughing up demons and cheating at cards."

"It takes a lot of skill to cheat. Demons are very savvy."

"And you love every minute of it."

"Doesn't mean it isn't work."

"Mmm."

Spike reached out and snatched the book from Xander's hands.

"Hey! I was reading that!"

"The Iliad, huh? Achilles is such a wanker."

"I was enjoying it," Xander said. He made a grab for the book, which Spike easily evaded.

"In my day we had to read it in Greek." Spike began to flip through the pages. "Achilles is even more of a wanker in Greek."

"He's a hero."

"Yeah? Do heroes sulk in their tent and refuse to fight because somebody took away their favorite slave? 'Oh, poor me. I haven't shagged anyone in two days, so I'll just sit here and have a good cry while my brothers in arms get killed.' Bloody ponce."

"Oh, right, because you were so noble when Drusilla left you. You didn't get miserably drunk, sob on your enemy's shoulder, and try to use a spell to make her love you again. Oh, wait..."

"Never said I was a hero," Spike said. His lower lip jutted out slightly.

"Don't start with that. I am immune to the pouting. And my point is valid; you should have some sympathy for the guy."

"Sympathy? He reminds me of Angel, moping and eating rats just because he got stuck with a bloody soul. Wankers."

Xander rolled his eyes and grabbed for the book again.

"Look, you don't have to read it, but I do. Give it back."

"When's it due?" Spike asked.

"What?"

"When's it due?" He affected the accent that he swore was Giles's but that Xander suspected was actually William's. "By when do you have to have read it?"

"A week from Tuesday," Xander admitted.

"Good, then you don't have to finish it tonight," Spike said. He tore the cover off of the TV listing and used it to mark Xander's place before tossing the book onto the floor. "I'm bored. Let's do something."

"I was doing something."

"You'd rather read than spend time with me on a Sunday night?"

"Well, no, but -"

"Anyway, that bloke Homer repeats too many phrases. Wine-dark sea. Rosy-fingered dawn. Couldn't be buggered to come up with something new?"

"I think the repetition pulls you into the story and makes it more vivid," Xander said. "Plus, they sound nice."

"He was just lazy, if you ask me."

"It's poetic."

"Now, 'sticky-fingered Dawn' I can see," Spike said, still on his previous thought. "She did get quite good at nicking things."

"Spike!"

"Yeah?" He looked back at Xander. "I'm right here. No need to raise your voice.

"I wasn't raising my -"

"In fact, I could be outside and you still wouldn't need to raise your voice. Vampire hearing."

Xander gritted his teeth and forced himself to speak slowly and calmly.

"Now that you have my attention, what - do - you - want - to - do?"

Spike shrugged.

"Dunno."

"So instead of coming up with something productive to do on your own, you decided to bother me while I was getting ahead on my schoolwork just so I could be bored with you?" Xander asked.

"I'd say bothering you was pretty productive. It worked, didn't it?"

Sighing, Xander closed his eyes and let his head fall against the back of the couch. He took a deep breath and reminded himself that he did in fact love Spike even when he was this excruciatingly annoying.

"Okay. Fine. Want to watch a DVD or play a video game or something?" he asked.

"Nah. Could've done those on my own. I want to do something with you."

"Like what?" Xander rolled his head slightly to the side and cracked open one eyelid.

"Now that you mention it..." Spike's eyes lit up, and his lips curled into a familiar predatory smile.

"It's always about sex with you, isn't it?"

"One: have you looked at yourself lately? Two: vampire. Three: it's been hours. Four: you smell really good. Five: did I mention how hot you look?" Spike edged closer and began to run his fingers over Xander's thigh. "Come on, Xan..."

Xander's body and mind had opposite reactions, but his brain managed to take control before all of the blood rushed elsewhere. He rose to his feet, stepped over Spike's legs, and scooped up his book.

"When you can think of something to do with me that couldn't also be done with any other willing being with the right body parts and orifices, let me know. I'll be in the bedroom. Reading," he said.

"Xander." Spike caught him before he got to the door. "What the hell is this? You're usually thinking about sex as much as I am."

"But I'm not thinking about it because I'm bored. It's not like 'hey, I could play a game of solitaire or I could go jump Spike.'"

Spike shrugged.

"I wouldn't mind."

"And there's where you and I are different. I do. So if you're bored and horny why don't you go out and find someone else to shag? I'm sure it won't be difficult. I have homework to do."

"Has anyone told you recently that you're an idiot?" Spike asked.

"Why, yes, I believe you've mentioned it once or twice" Xander snapped. "And they say romance is dead. Hey, so are you."

"I want to shag you not because I'm horny but because I want you."

Xander hugged his book to his chest and continued to glare.

"Uh huh."

"Listen to me, you git. I want you, Xander. I was trying to come up with something to do and all I could think about was spending time with you."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" Xander asked.

Spike frowned.

"Weren't you listening to what I just said? Yes, it bloody well is supposed to make you feel better."

Xander thought for a moment, rehashed the last two minutes of their conversation, and came to the realization that he was in fact an idiot.

"Oh. Right." He smiled apologetically. "Guess my brain's somewhere else."

"It's that sodding book. Want me to tell you how it ends?"

"I know the story, Spike. It's the getting there I'm enjoying."

Spike glanced down and then back to Xander's face.

"Guess I'll let you get back to it, then," he said with a half-shrug.

"It's okay. I was at a stopping place." Xander smiled and set the book on a nearby bookcase.

"Is that right?" Spike took a step forward and slid his arms around Xander's waist.

"Well, the sentence ended, anyway." Xander happily returned the embrace. He dipped his head to kiss Spike but didn't linger long over those tempting lips.

"It's early," Xander said. "Let's watch a movie first."

"First?" Spike raised an eyebrow and unsuccessfully tried to stifle a grin.

"Hey, I didn't disagree when you said I thought about sex as much as you." He grabbed Spike's hand and led him back toward the couch. "So what do you want to watch?"

"I dunno."

"X-Men?"

"Watched it last weekend."

"Yeah, but it's a classic," Xander said.

"Classic? It's not even five years old."

"Fine. How about Braveheart? We haven't seen that in a while."

"It's got bloody Mel Gibson in it," Spike said. He slumped onto the center cushion of the couch. "Stupid Aussie speaks with an American accent all the time now like he's ashamed of his country or something. And the history's all wrong."

"But there's lots of blood."

Spike shrugged.

"Fair enough," he said.

Xander popped the DVD in the player and sat next to Spike. As the opening credits played, Spike slid down so that his head was on Xander's thigh, and Xander draped his arm over Spike's chest.

"How's this?" Xander asked.

"Better."

They spent the rest of the night together, joking, talking, and loving, and not once was Spike bored before rosy-fingered dawn crept over the horizon, poured into the valley, and was kept firmly at bay by a good set of blackout curtains.

~end~