Mal strode out of Inara's shuttle, feeling as unsettled as he usually did after talking with her, and walked swiftly across the open walkways over the cargo bay. He was about to turn toward the bridge when a muffled grunt from below caught his attention.

Looking down, he saw Jayne pressing the slim form of the doctor against one of the crates of cargo they were due to deliver in a few days' time. Mal took a step toward the stairs down, ready to pull Jayne off and shove him into the nearest airlock to teach him a lesson, before the rest of the scene caught up with him. Simon's eyes were closed, his hands clutching at Jayne's biceps, but he didn't look the least bit unhappy.

Mal was still for a moment, his face frozen in shock, before saying with as much composure as he could pull together, "Do I need to come down there and sort things out, or are you two just finding new and unorthodox ways to amuse yourselves in my hold?"

Jayne looked upward, turning enough to expose that yes, indeed, his hand was resting over Simon's erection, which was thankfully still confined within his trousers. "Uh, it ain't what it looks like, Mal."

"Looks to me like you're well on your way to getting our good doctor into a compromising enough position that his sister'll be coming 'round to ask you your intentions."

Glancing at Simon, who still had his eyes closed, though his expression had shifted to one more of mortification than of pleasure, and rightly so, Jayne grinned wolfishly and admitted, "Okay, it is what it looks like."

"That all right with you, doc?" Mal asked. "Not to suggest you're not capable of defending your own virtue, but I don't hold with folks getting hassled on my ship."

"I'm fine, Captain." Simon's words were precise even as his face flushed a brighter red than those strawberries Shepherd had brought on board. "Thank you."

"Then I guess I'll leave you to it."

"'Bout time," Jayne said, doing something with his hand that made Simon gasp and that made Mal wish he didn't now have the visual of it in his memory.

Mal turned toward the bridge, then paused as another thought occurred to him.

"You might want to move this somewhere else before you make a mess of my cargo. If you dirty up those crates, I'll take the loss in profit out of your pay."

Jayne's reply was swift. "I got just the place."

There was another muffled sound that Mal didn't want to think about, followed by Simon's soft laughter, and Mal fled before he could hear any more.

He'd have to talk to Wash about putting together some sort of recreational activities for the crew. Maybe make those ball games a bit more regular, find a way to show a vid after supper. He'd seen men go odd from too much time in space, but ain't nothing compared with that.

~end~