"And I don't even want to think about why Giles had a Jonathan swimsuit calendar," Xander said as they all packed up their blankets and headed off toward dinner. "I mean, he said it was a gift, but none of us gave it to him, right? What other friends does he have? There's something majorly fishy going on there."

Riley smiled along with the rest, but his mind couldn't help but flash to Jonathan's compact body, which, thanks to the spell, he now knew better than his own. He could still feel those small but masterful hands skimming over his skin, teaching him new pleasures, and bringing him to unimaginable heights of passion.

In public, they had been comrades in the fight against evil, but, in private, they had become lovers. From their first one-on-one training session, their attraction to each other had been explosive, and Jonathan had taught him moves, both martial and amatory, better than those in his wildest dreams.

Riley had been hesitant, of course, because of Buffy as well as his own lack of experience with other men, but every touch, every taste had been incredible. How could they not have been? He had been with Jonathan, who could do everything perfectly, Jonathan, who could have had anyone he wanted and who had wanted him.

Their relationship had been an epiphany for Riley. At last, he hadn't had to hide any of himself. They had fought side-by-side as friends and had been passionate partners when they were alone. He couldn't be as good as Jonathan, because no one could be, but he was strong enough to stand proudly beside him. Both in battle and in bed, he had felt cherished, trusted, accepted, and loved. It had been perfect.

So he laughed half-heartedly at Xander's next joke and tried to forget the spell like everyone else, but in his heart Riley was aching with the knowledge that his happiness had been a lie and that he would never feel such contentment again.

~end~