The Continuing Adventures in the WRONG ANSWERS Universe
Episode 1

by Eavesdropper



The door to the 'family' room crashed open, startling its two occupants.

Krycek immediately went for the gun that sat in the small of his back, under the sweatshirt. Mulder let out a yelp and dropped the watering can, spilling water all over the couch.

Skinner stood in the doorway, face white with anger, eyes glaring daggers at both of them, mouth tight- lipped.

"All right," he muttered almost audibly, "which one of you is responsible? Which one of you two fuck-heads had the audacity? Especially after I specifically stated that no one but I was permitted to touch them. Well, come on," his voice had risen steadily louder, "you were brave enough to ignore my orders, be brave enough to admit it."

"What orders, Walter?" Mulder, ever the conciliator, approached Skinner carefully. In this mood one never knew just what the man was going to do. Krycek lowered the gun but kept it in hand.

"What orders?" Skinner raised his eyebrows in astonishment. "What orders?" His voice, usually so melodic and manly, almost broke under the intensity of his emotions. "How many times do I have to tell the two of you? Fox, you've had your skull drilled one time too many if you can't remember that just this morning I told the two of you, over breakfast," as his voice increased in volume, "not to touch my BEANIE BABY COLLECTION!"

Mulder blanched at the thought!

Skinner's beanie baby collection!

The newest passion in his life!

All those cute little beanie critters, lined up in alphabetical order, properly tagged, sitting each in its own little place in the glass case Skinner had just purchased to protect them. God! Skinner spent many happy calming hours touching, playing, examining his collection.

And someone had dared...dared touch...The audacity! It boggled the mind.

Krycek looked at Mulder accusingly. He knew better than to touch those cute little toys. He knew he was innocent of this mortal sin.

Skinner caught the look and turned the full force of his personality onto the still beboggled Mulder.

The silence in the room finally penetrated Mulder's consciousness. He looked from the judgemental Skinner to the accusing Krycek and back again.

"No. No! I didn't...I wouldn't...Walter! You know I would never disobey an order you gave me!"

Krycek snickered loudly. "Yeah. Right!" He looked over to Skinner to share his amusement. The expression on Skinner's visage had him swallowing his laughter, almost his tongue.

Mulder was feeling panicky. "Walter! I didn't! I swear..."

But Skinner interrupted him with a loud bellow. "Don't you dare compound this infamy by swearing. I don't even want to hear another word coming out of your mouth, Fox. You know what I said I would do if any of my orders were disobeyed. Alex. Get the paddle."

Mulder looked wildly from one man to the other. Skinner was blocking the door: no escape that way. Krycek covered the smirk on his face with his fake hand as he went over to Skinner's desk and opened up a drawer. With unholy glee, he handed the paddle to Skinner, stood a bit to the back of him. He wanted a good view of what was to follow.

Skinner checked the paddle to make sure it was solid. The last time he had had to discipline one of his boys, he hadn't caught the weakness in the wood and the paddle had split, one piece flying off, nearly hitting him in the face. He brought it down hard on the arm of the leather armchair next to him. It made a very satisfactory "thuk".

Mulder visibly winced. Krycek could barely contain his smile.

"You know what to do. What are you waiting for? The longer you make me wait, Fox, the longer your punishment will last."

Mulder managed to strip off his sweats, his runners, his boxers in the time it took Skinner to settle comfortably in the armchair. Standing naked, trembling from nerves, he waited until Skinner was happy with his placement and then went to position himself over the big man's lap.

"Why are you being punished?" Skinner made sure Mulder's dangling cock was tightly secured between his thighs. There would be no pleasure involved in this punishment. The mere thought of someone else handling his precious beanie babies...Well, he took several deep breaths to calm himself...Mulder would never dare again.

"Because I touched your beanie babies...But I didn't!"

The paddle swooshed down and made loud contact with Mulder's ass. Mulder let out a louder yelp.

Damn him! thought Skinner. Not man enough to admit the error of his ways! He brought the paddle down harder, faster until his arm raising and falling seemed nothing more than a blur.

He was holding Mulder down with one hand and pounding his blushing red ass when Skinner suddenly caught sight of Krycek in the mirror that hung above the fireplace.

That young man was enjoying himself far too much. His eyes were brilliant with pleasure and not just because his hand had disappeared under the waistband of his jeans. He looked down at the beet red ass on his lap, listened to the pleaded entreaties coming out of Mulder's mouth and realized that he may just have been a smidgen too hasty in accepting Mulder's guilt in this matter.

He stopped paddling Mulder and in one move, overturned him onto the floor -- he landed on his ass and screamed loudly -- and grabbed Krycek before the man knew what was happening. With one mighty tug, he dragged Krycek's jeans down, pulled him down into Mulder's place and proceeded to apply a powerful lesson as to the consequences of passing the buck.

Mulder, sniffling loudly, moved so that he could watch Krycek's butt turn from white to pink to a red that easily matched his own. Krycek was harder to subdue than Mulder so that Skinner felt he had to throw in some extra swats for that show of attitude.

When his arm finally found it difficult to produce that right tone of paddle on skin, he stood suddenly. Krycek found himself on the floor beside Mulder.

Skinner looked down on them like a Colossus: legs apart, fisted hands on waist. He frowned upon them, almost with disgust. "I don't care which one of you it was, neither of you will ever touch one of my beanie babies again. Have I made myself clear?"

He got two nods, varying degrees of sniffles, a weak "Yes", an even weaker "Sir".

He looked at them. Mulder naked, on his hands and knees, reddened butt glowing, looking for all his size like a little boy: Krycek, jeans down around his lower legs, on his side, face hidden in crossed arms, muscles of his nearly blistered ass still twitching in reaction. He sighed. He loved both his boys, but there were times...

He dropped the paddle into the desk drawer, shut it, went out the room closing the door behind him.

The two sniffed a bit. Mulder sat on a haunch, carefully. He removed Krycek's boots, pulled off his jeans.

After a bit, Krycek moved to his knees and then, with the help of the armchair, to his feet. He passed the back of his hand over his nose, wiping the snot and tears. Slowly he made his way over to the computer in the corner of the 'family' room. Mulder, as carefully, joined him.

While Krycek hooked into the internet, Mulder leaned over to rest against him. He passed his hand around Krycek's waist, avoiding the ripe cheeks below. Rubbed his wet cheek against Krycek's shoulder.

"Are you going to tell her it worked? That he finally paid attention to us?"

Krycek nodded. He filled in the addy and tabbed to the body.

Dear Samantha.....