Dreams
Rating: NC17 for explicit slash and spanking
Warning: NON-disciplinary spanking, *mild* bondage and
both high sap and angst
Feedback: jasmasson@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Would I be working in a job I hate if they
were?
Spoiler: Last ep of season seven... you know the one.
Pairing: Sk/M
The dreams are sometimes kind. Sometimes not. For
months now he's been spared them only one or two
nights a week. At the beginning, of course, they came
every night; demanding and merciless.
Even the kind ones leave him waking with his face wet
with tears.
Tonight, mercifully, is kind. There's no bright light
or drowning in pain and horror as he stands there
helplessly watching his heart ripped from him. Gazing
numbly at the sky as he realizes he has gone. No
hideously graphic agonized screams or endless streams
of blood or choked recriminations asking why he hadn't
stopped him. No vivid, terrifying mental images of
what he might be going through, frightened and alone.
There's not even the bittersweet pain of their many
arguments, the looks of hurt or betrayal when the job
or the consortium threatens to come between them
again, the knowledge that he needs to both protect and
prove himself to him over and over again. To win his
closely guarded trust, his damaged heart, and the
sweet rewards when he does. No. Tonight he dreams
about the good times. About the first time.
Walter threw his pen down with slightly more force
than was strictly necessary. If he had the energy
he'd give a whoop of joy at *finally* finishing all
the mountain of paperwork produced by Mulder's latest
case and dance around his desk. He didn't have the
energy and, in retrospect, perhaps that was fortunate
as it probably wasn't suitable behavior for a
sensible, respectable and, he grinned to himself, much
feared A.D.
He had also decided that the powers that be had
deliberately made the paperwork as arduous as possible
and restrained himself manfully from poking his tongue
out at the uncomprehending pile of paper. *So there*!
He settled for a loud sigh and a long, long stretch
that seemed to draw the final vestiges of his energy
up from his toes and expel it through his fingers, and
then he slumped bonelessly in his chair. It was
definitely time to go home and hit the sheets.
"Buy you a drink, Sir?"
Walter looked up in surprise at Mulder's lanky,
beautifully attired form leaning against his door
frame. He straightened up in proper A.D. style, "What
are you still doing here, Agent Mulder?"
Mulder shrugged gracefully, "Working late." He
paused, "Heard your meeting went on, thought you'd
still be here and could probably do with a beer."
Their eyes met and something passed between them
unspoken. The knowledge that Skinner had gone in to
bat for him today, yet again, with the powers that be
in a marathon meeting following his latest report and
hadn't even bothered to mention it, it was so
expected.
Mulder couldn't thank him, not really. He believed
that the truth of his work should stand for itself,
that Skinner *should* support it because it was right.
That did not prevent him, however, from knowing that
nobody else, not even Scully on the amount of evidence
that Skinner, usually desk-bound, had seen, would, and
it didn't stop him appreciating it and, say, buying
him a beer.
Skinner accepted the gratitude in the form it was
offered, "Sure, I've just finished up here." He
gestured at the huge pile of paperwork stacked neatly
on his desk.
Mulder grimaced, realizing that most was related to
him, "How about we make it a scotch?"
Walter smiled in agreement, and cast a final
triumphant glance at the mountain of malicious
paperwork as he picked up his coat.
Mulder smiled, "At least they don't have you cleaning
the toilets with a toothbrush."
Shared laughter followed them out of the office, low
and warm.
warmth unspoken strength and support warmth surrounded
by love he remembered he did he kept it all locked
away in his heart even when it slipped out of his head
out of his head
They chatted about baseball and books over a couple of
glasses of scotch in a small, comfortable bar nearby
and Walter felt his exhaustion slip away under
Mulder's intelligent conversation and unusually happy
smile.
He was aware that Mulder often looked at him with a
small, hopeful, pleased but wistful smile when he'd
shown himself to be on his side yet again and thought
he wasn't looking. There was a similar element in the
smile Mulder was giving him now, but it seemed more
open now, more certain. Skinner wondered if this most
recent incident had finally brought it home to Mulder
that Skinner really was on his side... or had at least
taken him part of the way.
They walked back to Skinner's apartment together. The
night air was crisp and fresh and it was so late that
the traffic had thinned down enough to make it a very
pleasant walk. Mulder's cheerful conversation
diminished as they approached Skinner's apartment and
they reached their destination in silence.
Walter cleared his throat, "Do you want to come up and
call a cab?" he asked softly, as though speaking at
normal volume would break the sudden mood between
them.
Mulder looked up at him, eyes huge and darkly oblique
in the night. He looked intently at Walter for a long
moment, making him wonder what could be seen in his
own eyes. Maybe Mulder would point out, not
unreasonably, that he had a perfectly functionable
bureau mobile, and could easily wait for a cab in the
lobby or outside, or he could walk to a hotel for cab,
there'd be a lot, this *was* Washington D.C. after
all, there would be one nearby, or he could just wait
and hail one for God's sake there'd surely be one
along soon, or...
"Sure."
he is sure its warm there he remembers being warm
being happy surrounded by warm strong arms feeling
comfort feeling love he remembers so even when he
shivers uncontrollably in the bitter unearthly cold he
is still warm part of him still warm still
In the apartment it was suddenly awkward, and he
supposed it should be. Out in the office or in the
street they could be employer and employee but here in
Walter's personal space they can only be... personal.
Walter opened his mouth to speak, to say something to
take the strain out of the situation, but as he turned
he found Mulder an inch from him and his lips were
suddenly covered.
He was surprised that Mulder had done this, it seemed
so sudden, but then he realized that in a way they had
been dating for about four years and Mulder had
finally taken the matter into hand. In fact, he
thought, rather fuzzily, what the hell had taken him
so long?
God. The lips against his were so warm, so soft and
silky that thinking of anything beyond standing there
and just drinking in the sweet softness of that mouth
was impossible. The lips parted slowly under his,
inviting invasion into the warm soft interior.
Thinking at all was impossible. But then he felt a
hand stroking gently down his back and a hard, warm
body pressed against his and imagination reasserted
itself in a rush.
He pushed Mulder's trench coat and jacket off his
shoulders and ran his hands down Mulder's back,
feeling the hot skin and hard muscle under the thin
shirt, but still reluctant to release the sweetly
yielding lips under his, he couldn't move back far
enough to undo the buttons. There was a soft noise
swallowed by his mouth as he pulled Mulder's shirt out
and ran his hands under it feeling for the first time
warm, inconceivably smooth skin. The body in his arms
shivered in response and pushed harder against him.
The first touch of skin shook him to his core. How
long had it been that he'd wanted to do this? How
long had he known that those full lips held the key to
his dreams and the lean hard body draped over a chair
opposite him in his office was what he wanted more
than anything? How long had it been since the
brilliant, conflicted, intriguing man had first left
his mark irretrievably on his heart? He couldn't
remember but in that one moment it seemed as though it
had been an eternity and he couldn't bear to wait any
longer.
Regretfully he pulled his lips away from Mulder,
delighting at the sight of him, eyes closed, lips wet
and parted, slightly swollen and reddened from his
kisses. Passion filled, heavy-lidded eyes opened
slowly. Mulder must have liked what he saw on his
face, as the smile was languorous and wicked, but
strangely vulnerable at the same time. Unable to
resist he planted a swift, soft kiss on those precious
lips, in an act of unmistakable tenderness.
He felt suddenly awkward, aware of the naked emotion
implicit in that sweet, sexless kiss in sharp contrast
to the previous overwhelming passion, but was
reassured by the light in Mulder's shining eyes.
He reached up gently and undid Mulder's shirt, one
button at a time, and Mulder stood passive underneath
his ministrations as he lingered over every inch of
exposed skin until finally Mulder was divested of his
shirt and stood beautifully half-naked before him.
He then watched in slow-motion as Mulder's hands
drifted to his own clothes, undressing him equally as
slowly, his eyes never leaving Walter's until his
shirt joined Mulder's on the floor.
They stared at each other for a long moment.
Skinner's shoulders looking impossibly broad, and
Mulder terribly slender in comparison, Skinner's skin
bronzed and healthy, Mulder's pale and smooth in the
dim light. Skinner watched in fascination as,
seemingly of its own accord and trembling slightly,
his strong, dark hand moved up to touch the smoothness
of Mulder's pale, hairless chest.
He felt the contact and the shiver that ran through
both of them right into the center of his soul, and
any uncertainty disappeared in the *rightness* of that
gentle touch and the sudden unshed tears in the deep
hazel eyes that he couldn't look away from.
His hand drifted up the chest slowly to run over the
soft slightly trembling lips and over the finely boned
features, to pause and then move further up to wipe
away the tear that managed to escape with one broad
thumb. He then let his hand drift down slowly, down
the trembling shoulders and to take hold of one
graceful hand. He took it gently in his and led
Mulder slowly upstairs into the bedroom.
Despite having initiated the contact between them,
Mulder now seemed content to allow him to take
complete control as he laid him gently down on the
bed. In a flash of insight Walter knew how much it
had taken for Mulder to take that first step, to open
himself that much, and swore silently looking in the
vulnerable eyes that he had the strength to take them
the rest of the way.
Despite the almost desperate passion their first
extraordinary kiss had caused to flame, Walter felt
able to take it slowly, to savor every moment. Mulder
tasted so damn good; his full lips as soft and sweet
as in Skinner's forbidden dreams. Gently Walter
removed the rest of their clothes slowly enjoying
every inch of pale, soft skin as it was revealed. He
stared down at the incredible sight below him; Mulder
looked beautiful, unearthly, in the dim light. His
eyes heavy lidded and full of passion, his lips
reddened and swollen, his beautiful lean body covered
in a thin sheen of sweat, trembling slightly with
desire, his thrusting arousal flushed and full.
He must have stared to long as Mulder suddenly shifted
restlessly, flushing in embarrassment, his hands going
unconsciously to cover himself.
"No," Walter's voice was unrecognizable as he caught
Mulder's hands and pressed them between his own larger
ones, "You are, you are *beautiful*."
He had broken the silence between them and watching
Mulder shiver in reaction to his rough voice he found
he couldn't stop, wanting to share everything with
him. "I've waited so long to see you like this, so
long."
Mulder's eyes raised in surprise and met his, emotion
flowing between them, before dropping his eyes again.
But he let his hands fall, exposing himself
completely, even though he still blushed furiously.
But beautifully.
"Please, just let me look at you."
He lied, though, as his hand once again seemingly of
its own volition reached out to touch the temptation
spread so vulnerably before it. Mulder shuddered
under the touch and a small moan escaped him as the
hand brushed over one tight, dusky nipple. Mulder
licked his lips unconsciously, offering Walter a
temptation he couldn't resist. Their lips touched
again, and this time they kissed with such exquisite
tenderness, Walter felt the world had nothing more
than this in it.
Mulder shifted his position on the bed and Walter
slipped between his legs, they pressed against each
other, hot, silky groins touching for the first time,
drawing moans from both of them. Mulder wrapped his
legs around him and Walter thrust helplessly down into
the welcoming, silken heat. He could easily have lost
himself this way, with Mulder in his arms, wrapped
around him, the smell of him the taste of him the feel
of him, but Mulder started to push him off. Bitter
disappointment filled his mouth and for a brief, heady
moment he clasped the hot slender body closer,
refusing to let go. Then he remembered the hard won
expression of trust in beautiful eyes that had so
taken his breath away and regretfully released him,
prepared to give Mulder whatever he needed.
Mulder's eyes were huge and dark with lust, panting
and flushed, his words were low and strained, "Not
enough," he breathed raggedly, "Not enough."
Walter watched in dazed confusion as Mulder stretched
to reach his discarded pants and retrieved a tube of
lube. Heat rushed over him and he was sure his heart
would stop as Mulder pressed it into his hand, amazed
that Mulder had been prepared, amazed that he actually
wanted this. He waited frozen in lustful shock as
Mulder stared at him, waiting, until finally Mulder
sighed and took the tube from Walter's hand squeezing
lube onto his fingers and spreading his legs, placing
Walter's hand at his center.
Walter felt the soft, yielding heat of him and groaned
deep within him as Mulder shuddered, "You really want
this?" he asked roughly, knowing another moment and he
couldn't possibly stop, he had to be sure.
Mulder looked deep into his eyes and smiled, seeing
the uncertainty and pressed his hand to Walter's face,
"Walter," he said softly in a rough voice, "I'm sure.
I want you. I... trust you. Please."
Walter's heart was irretrievably lost in that moment.
And he knew it. And had never felt so happy or
complete. He pressed his lips to his, *his* Fox's
beautiful lush mouth and pressed his finger into that
hot, tight place.
Fox groaned, spreading his legs wider, writhing as
Walter pressed insistently into his body, stretching
him with one then two fingers. He felt the approach
of a third before pushing Walter's hand away.
"Enough. I need you. Now. I need you now," his
rough voice a mixture between a plea and a command.
Walter really agreed and slicked his straining cock
with the remaining gel on his hand before pressing it
against Fox's tight ass.
It was so incredibly tight, so hot and his cock ached
so, it was torment to go in slowly, to ease into the
hot, welcoming body. But he tried, he really did, but
suddenly Fox wrapped his long, long legs around
Walter's hips and pulled him in strongly causing them
both to cry out.
It did hurt Fox, Walter's hard length thrust so
suddenly so deep inside him, but it felt so good to
feel him all the way inside to be filled with him,
that he had to have him as close as possible. Walter
waited, his aching cock rejoicing in being in such
blissful, tight heat, his heart full as Fox wrapped
himself around him, clutching him desperately with his
arms and legs and pressing hot, wet kisses and
whispering incoherent words against his neck.
Soon it was too much just to lie there and he began
thrusting gently, slowly into the heavenly heat
clenched so tightly around him. Fox's small,
desperate noises as he fucked him slowly, gently,
filling him; thrusting in a deeply as he could drove
him on. The feel of Fox's hot dripping cock blazing
against his stomach causing him to thrust harder.
Suddenly he felt Fox arch desperately against him and
cry out his name, as his ass clenched even more
tightly around him and he came hard. The knowledge
that he had done this, driven Mulder to orgasm, was
fucking Mulder, Fox, was too much and thrusting in
harshly twice more he came, latching desperately onto
Fox's panting mouth, kissing him frantically.
They held each other tightly for a very long time
before Walter moved off of Fox. Fox refused to let
him go pulling his arms around him and so they fell
asleep spooned against each other and as Walter held
the beautiful body pressed against him, he knew he'd
come home.
home he remembered home he couldn't name it couldn't
say where it was but he remembered it was soft deep
brown eyes warm strong arms a steady heartbeat at his
back comfort joy love remembered love and trust and
need and strength and support everything was home
everything he needed in those eyes
he held the memory close it made him strong he'd get
back he'd find his home they couldn't take it from him
home eyes love home
Walter shifted in his sleep, moaning softly in
pleasure and pain at the treasured memory. They had
found such comfort in each other, such solace. In
their love they had found needs in each other that
they could meet together. Once Fox had learned to
trust him he needed to fall into that trust, to trust
completely, and have Walter catch him. Walter had
found the strength to give Fox what he needed and
taken pleasure in meeting those needs, fulfilling
something deep inside himself at the same time. His
heart burned as he thought of Mulder held against his
will by someone, *something*, tormented him with what
he might be going through. His memories claimed him
again.
Fox shuddered as Walter ran a hand gently down his
side. He'd been waiting what seemed like an age and
the sudden, although gentle, touch seemed to almost
spark on his flesh, over-sensitized by the wait. The
silken scarves that bound his hands to the beam
overhead were easy to slip out of if he tried, but he
hadn't, even when he thought the waiting would drive
him crazy. He trusted Walter, despite being bound and
naked, blindfolded in the middle of the room. The
large, gentle hands roamed freely over his body,
gently caressing his ribs, his arms, his vulnerable
belly with sure, soft, arousing touches. He shivered
at each touch, feeling arousal course through him. It
was easier to let his feelings overrun him when he was
blindfolded.
Walter wondered if he knew when an astounding sight he
made, naked and flushed, his beautiful body shifting
unconsciously as he waited, knowing full well that
Walter was watching him. Walter loved these moments,
knowing that Fox was waiting, just waiting for him to
come and take him. He knew, right now, it was an act
of will for Fox to stand still and trusting, but he
knew, soon enough, the absolute trust would become
real and natural, that they would find that place he
needed.
Finally he could resist no longer and ran his hand
down the soft skin of Fox's side, feeling the body
shiver in response. He took pleasure in touching the
vulnerable flesh, caressing and arousing until the
captive body shivered in arousal, cock standing
proudly erect.
Fox made a low noise deep in his throat when Walter
let his hand finally touch the small tight nipples,
shuddering when Walter playfully pinched first one
then the other.
He yelped when warm wet heat closed around one and
suckled, shivering and moaning as the sensations ran
through him straight to his cock, before the nipple
was abandoned to tighten in the cool air as the other
was treated to the same.
Walter smiled as he pulled back, seeing Fox's hips
thrusting unconsciously forward, seeking the attention
lavished on his tender nipples. He knelt down and
breathed teasingly over the aching flesh, making Fox
moan and shudder, thrusting forward eagerly. He
chuckled evilly and brushed a swift kiss on the tip of
the cock, hearing Fox's despairing moan, and moved
behind him.
Fox spread his legs eagerly as Walter parted his
cheeks and exposed his tender anus. He licked
teasingly along the sensitive crease, hearing Mulder
groan until returning to torment the tender opening.
He teased the sensitive flesh until Fox begged
breathlessly and then thrust in deep, fucking him with
his tongue. Fox wailed in response, trying to get
more inside him, but Walter held his hips firmly,
fucking him leisurely, ignoring Fox's panting
pleading.
He heard the pleas, but continued in his work until he
was sure with the continuous moans that Fox had lost
himself in the sensations. Finally he moved away,
certain that Fox was where he needed to be.
He reached up and released Fox's hands, slapping them
away from his straining groin as they went there
automatically. He removed the blindfold and stared
into blinking, lust hazed eyes before swooping down
and kissing the lush, slightly swollen where they had
been bitten, lips.
He stepped back when they were both breathless before
reaching down to his fly and releasing his own
straining cock. Fox moaned at the thought of
neglecting his own aching flesh, but didn't hesitate
to fall to his knees and take Walter in his mouth.
The taste of him, the size of him filling his mouth
made him groan and he clasped his hands behind his
back to keep from touching himself.
Walter sighed as his throbbing flesh was taken into
the silken heat of Fox's mouth. He shivered at as the
full soft lips and warm hot mouth closed around him
and he groaned at the sight of Fox's beautiful lips
stretched around his needy flesh. He took hold of
Fox's silky hair and thrust deeply into the eager
mouth, shuddering as Fox's groan reverberated around
his sensitive flesh. He fucked Fox's mouth, enjoying
the soft warm place, and hearing Fox's needy groans as
he filled the eager mouth with himself.
Fox shuddered as he felt Walter thrust forward,
fucking his throat in his eagerness, thrilling at the
thought of giving Walter so much pleasure, thrusting
his own hips forward in response. When Walter came
soon after, he swallowed greedily. He continued to
lavish Walter's sensitive flesh until finally he
pushed him away. Fox rested his head on one strong
thigh, panting breathlessly, now Walter's pleasure had
been seen to, terribly aware of his own desperately
aching cock.
Walter pulled him to his feet and he stood unsteadily
before him. He kissed him, smiling and gently
squeezed Fox's needy flesh, "Not yet," he whispered,
and Fox's cock jumped at the thought of what was to
come.
Walter sat on the edge of the bed admiring Fox who
stood obediently, head down, cock straining and hands
clasped behind him.
"Go and get your paddle," he commanded.
Fox shivered in fear and anticipation at those words,
but went to the bedside cabinet to retrieve the
leather paddle. There was no thought of defiance, and
he floated in contentment even as he shivered in fear,
knowing that Walter would do as he liked with him, but
trusting he would always bring him back.
He handed Walter the paddle, before getting into
position over his thighs. He shivered as Walter ran
his hand over his naked, exposed ass. He never felt
so achingly vulnerable as when he lay with his bare
bottom on display, awaiting a spanking, but never so
hypersensitive, and he trembled.
The paddle came down with a loud crack on the
defenseless buttocks, and he cried out, always
surprised at just how painful it was. The strong arm
on his back kept him from moving, but his reddened ass
wriggled as he waited for the next blow. He jumped as
the paddle struck again, bringing with it another
streak of fire on his tender ass. The paddle fell
again and again, and he began to lose himself in the
stinging sensations, his focus reduced to his
throbbing ass and his straining cock as he thrust
moaning against Walter's thighs.
Walter continued to spank the writhing red bottom over
his knees enjoying the sight as the buttocks clenched
awaiting the next smack and wriggled after each
stinging blow. He felt Fox's hard cock rubbing
against him as he spanked the beautiful, red bottom.
Fox began to sob in need as the sensations overwhelmed
him as always, sensation combining and twisting with
emotion until they became indistinguishable and he
lost himself. His ass felt as though it were on fire
and he sobbed and writhed but craved each blow,
thrusting back to meet the stinging paddle and forward
to rub his throbbing cock against Walter's hard
thighs.
He came suddenly yelling as pleasure and pain melded
leaving him drained. Walter caressed the quivering
sensitive red cheeks as Fox sobbed.
Finally he pushed Fox off his lap to his knees. Fox
raised his tearstained face blindly and Walter
lavished his flushed cheeks and full lips with kisses,
pulling him up onto his lap and holding him as Fox
clung desperately to him.
"I love you, Walter," he whispered against his lips
and Walter rewarded him with deep wet kisses that left
them both breathless.
Eventually Walter, his cock renewed from spanking Fox,
helped Fox to lie on his front and raised his red
bottom with pillows beneath his hips. He moved
between Fox's spread thighs and caressed the hot
stinging flesh, feeling the tender cheeks quiver under
his touch. He reached over to the bedside cabinet and
picked up a tube of lube. He ran one slick finger
along the sensitive crack between stinging buttocks
and smiled as Fox moaned, his arousal beginning to
grow again. He thrust one finger into Fox's tight ass
and heard him groan, tightening unconsciously around
his finger, he thrust in another and began to slowly
fuck Fox with two fingers. With his other hand he
alternated between caressing hypersensitive, stinging,
red buttocks and teasing the tight, tender balls
accessible between Fox's spread thighs, delighting in
the strangled groans.
He waited until Fox was moaning desperately and
thrusting against the pillows, enjoying the sight of
the red, thoroughly spanked, trembling bottom fucking
itself on his fingers. He slicked up his cock and
thrust fully into Fox's tight ass, enjoying the wail
as pain and pleasure mingled once again as Fox found
himself suddenly penetrated so deeply.
Fox groaned as Walter angled himself to brush over the
prostate, seeing stars as his ass was thoroughly
fucked. He cried at the sensation of being so
completely possessed, Walter's thick cock driving into
him mercilessly and at the overwhelming sensations he
came, sobbing Walter's name. Walter continued to
thrust into his hot ass, filling him relentlessly
until he came and collapsed on him, holding him
fiercely. Fox turned in his arms to face him, his
eyes heavy with exhausted satisfaction. he kissed
Walter gently on the mouth, "Thank you," he whispered.
Walter chuckled, "My pleasure."
pleasure and love trust and strength he knows them he
remembers the peace of home of trust of love and when
he searches for them searches he knows they are
waiting he is waiting he just has to find him
There are tears on Walter's face as he reaches
unconsciously to the other side of the bed, hoping to
find the warm, beloved body that is not there. He
blames himself. Fox trusted him, not just with his
life, but with his body, his heart, his soul, trusted
him with himself. His face twists in pain as he
remembers that last night the feeling of helplessness
as he watched Fox being taken from him. The
nightmares are waiting for him, tormented images of
what Fox might be going through. Guilty images of Fox
calling for him in torment and him watching through
glass, unable to help him. On the cusp of the
nightmares he dreams he feels a ghostly touch to his
hand, a specter of his Fox reassuring him in his
sleep. He sighs, this is a kinder dream than normal,
but so many dreams, so many. He knows this is one
too. His Fox still lost to him. The imagined touch
calms him though and he turns over to find a happier
dream. He cries in his sleep, but this time he dreams
of what it will be like when his Fox comes home.
Home. He knew he could find it. He watches the
sleeping figure, drawing peace from it. He doesn't
remember everything but it is becoming more clear.
His thoughts are far more coherent. He'd found his
way home on instinct rather than memory and now he's
found it he feels a deep blessed peace, but painful
uncertainty as his memory fails him again and again.
Love. For a rash moment he wants to wake him and see
the beautiful warm, deep brown eyes that had stayed
with him through even the darkest times. He remembers
more now, but not enough. He doesn't know if his
memory will ever return, and what he does have is not
enough. He watches the handsome face twist and sees
tears fall from closed eyes. Unthinking he reaches
out a hand to touch the strong fingers and the figure
calms. There are still tears, but the distressed
countenance is gone. He reaches out a hand to wipe
away the tears and it brushes softly against the hot,
wet cheek. Tears fall from his own eyes as he
remembers fragments of a life, but he can't quite
grasp more than feelings and images, a few words, a
sense of safety and warmth.
Suddenly he inhales sharply. He knows abruptly,
horrifically, but with absolute certainty that he is
the cause of the tears on the beloved face, but can't
quite remember why. He bites at his lip as he tries
to remember, but it eludes him as so much does. What
had he done to cause such pain? Was that why he'd
been taken away? The thought chills him and he
shivers. He watches another tear fall from the closed
eyes and he cries himself at the thought of causing
the crystal tears to fall down the beautiful face.
He allows himself a moment of comfort, even though he
knows he doesn't deserve it, and presses his tear
stained face against the hot hand. He shivers with
pleasure as the thumb unconsciously strokes a tear
away.
With a small broken moan he moves away, fearful of
waking him and causing more pain. He draws the
strength to go from the tears on the beloved face. He
must. Someday he will find out what he did so wrong
that he caused such pain. He'd put it right, he
resolved. Until then he must stay away, not wanting
to hurt him any more. He bravely turns with one last
longing look and slips away.
Walter wakes with a start, unsure of what woke him,
and as usual he wakes with tears on his face, but is
surprised to find tears on his hand and that, somehow,
those tears seem to burn.