Angel's Joy

SPOILERS: Angel S1

CHAPTER 1


"Well that's that!" said Cordelia Chase as she returned the phone to the charger.

Wesley looked up from the text he was translating at the dining room table. "That's what?"

"I've taken care of everything. The phone company is coming tomorrow to hook us up with another phone line. I've talked to David Navid and he's agreed to supply us with a computer, as long as he can come over and hook it up. Not that I really want him to know where I live but ..."

"Cordelia," Angel emerged from the kitchen. "What are you talking about?"

"Setting up a new office." Cordelia gave him a look that could only be read as "Duh!"

Wesley stood up from behind the table and moved to the girl's side. "Isn't that a bit premature? We haven't even found a new location yet."

"We so don't have the time or money to find a new location right now!" Cordelia sat down and started rifling through a stack of papers that were sitting on the coffee table. "The old building was completely under insured, and we lost lots of things that we can't possibly claim on an insurance form anyway." The two men looked confused. "Weapons? Rare demonology texts? Jars of blood in the refrigerator? Any of this ring a bell?"

Angel joined Cordelia on the couch as she handed him the paperwork. Insurance forms, copies of their financial records, estimates on the cost of re-opening "Angel Investigations" ... she had really done her homework.

"You're right." There was a note of surprise and satisfaction in his voice, which didn't go unnoticed by Cordelia. "But I still don't see where you're going with this."

Cordelia rolled her eyes. Her boss was a wiz when with demons and monsters, but came up a little short when it came down to good old fashioned business sense. "We'll set the up office here."

"Cordelia, I ..."

"Don't start with me!" Cordelia cut Angel off before he could protest. "Look, I've done a lot of thinking about this. It's going to be months until we can even begin to think about finding a new office. And once we have the money it's not going to be easy to get a place. I mean, this is LA!"

Angel sighed. Once the girl got an idea in her head, it was pretty difficult to dissuade her. He tried anyway. "It's not that I don't appreciate what you're trying to do, but listing your home as our address will probably put you in danger."

"Oh, like that would be a completely new experience for me?"

"No, but ..."

Cordelia set her hand on Angel's shoulder. "I understand why you're concerned. But really, what other option do we have?" She turned her gaze to Wesley before continuing. "I mean, the reason we're here is to help people, right? I've seen what's going on out there. We don't have any time to waste."

Wesley laughed softly to himself. "I'm sorry," he said when he noticed Cordelia's hurt and confused expression. "I'm still not quite used to seeing this ‘new you.'"

"Well, it's not like the arrangement won't help me any." Cordelia smiled. "I mean, the sooner we're up and running the sooner I can start lobbying for a raise!"

Angel's brow was furrowed with concern. "I agree that we need to get back to business as soon as possible, but I can't risk putting you in danger."

"Well," Cordelia hesitated. "I wouldn't be in as much danger if you stayed with me."

"What?" Angel looked up sharply.

"What?" echoed Wesley.

"Okay, I've thought about this too. Wesley, your place doesn't have sewer access. Well, it does but since it's in the middle of a highly traveled street, it doesn't really count. Plus you don't have enough room! I have plenty of space. I mean, it's only me in this huge apartment!" Cordelia's statement was met by a loud crash and the cacophony of pots and pans banging against each other in the kitchen. "I didn't forget about you, Dennis!" she called over her shoulder. "It's just that you don't take up much room, you know?" Once the noise stopped, she continued. "There's a small storage room in the back. It's not huge, but there's enough room for my futon and a dresser. What else am I going to do with a windowless room?"

Angel looked extremely uncomfortable as he fidgeted in his seat. "Cordelia, I ... I agreed to stay here at first because it was a temporary measure. Extremely temporary. But long term ... I don't really do well with roommates."

"Tell me something I don't know, Mr. I'm-going-to-sit-alone-in-the-dark-and-brood!" Wesley started to chuckle again, but she silenced him with a look. "All the more reason for you to stay here. It'll be good for you. Besides, we wouldn't just be roommates." She paused. "We're family."

Angel focused his eyes on the ground. He knew that if he had to look up at her expectant face he would lose his resolve.

Wesley spoke up. "I do believe Cordelia is right. This would be good for you, and for the people we're trying to help."

If there was one thing Angel had learned during his time with Wesley and Cordelia, it was that there were some battles he just couldn't win. "Alright, I'll stay."

"Great!" Cordelia beamed. "I'll just go get your room ready!"

After she had disappeared toward the back of the apartment, Angel turned to Wesley. "Did I ever tell you about the time she stayed with me for a day?""

"I believe so." He thought for a moment. "Peanut butter in the bed?"

"And worse. But, she has changed since then, so maybe things will be different this time."

Wesley just smiled. "Maybe."


Chapter 2


Angel settled down on the futon with a sigh of relief. It wasn't the most comfortable or spacious place he'd had in his 200 plus years, but there had definitely been worse. The darkness total enveloped him, comforted him like an old friend, and he was able to completely relax for the first time in days.

So much had happened over the past week, and there hadn't been any time for him to process any of it, or to "brood" as Cordelia would say. There was the near death experiences of his closest friends, the destruction of their office, the confrontation with Wolfram and Hart, and finding out that one day he would be human. Human. Not just for one day, but for a mortal lifetime.

Cordelia and Wesley had been thrilled when they discovered the true meaning of the prophecy. So had Angel, at first. Then the doubts and fears began to arise. When would this happen? Would he be forced to watch his friends grow old and die? Would Buffy want to be with him? Would she already be married to Riley or someone else? So many questions, and no answer in sight. Even the oracles were gone now, not that they would have answered his questions anyway.

Angel wandered his way down all the pathways of possibility, wishing that there was something, anything he could do to figure out what was to come. He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he lost all track of time, and was surprised when he heard the sounds of Cordelia up and about, preparing for her day.

"Morning, sunshine!" Cordelia smiled as he stumbled into the kitchen. "Oh, wait. I guess that's not the best thing to say to a vampire, huh?"

Angel nodded, then sank down into a chair. A cup of coffee floated over from the counter, which Angel gratefully accepted. "Thanks, Dennis."

Cordelia bustled about the kitchen preparing her own breakfast, aided by Dennis who obviously knew her morning routine by now. "I didn't expect you to be up this early," she said over her shoulder as she popped a bagel into the toaster. "I know you don't keep strict vamp hours, but this is early even for you!"

"I know. But you said it yourself; if we want to help people, we have to start putting the business back together."

"Great!. There are so many things that need to get done today!" Cordelia was extremely energetic. She was always at her best when there was a plan of attack ... and when she was the one in charge of that plan.

Angel closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair, ready for Cordelia to rattle off a long list of chores and errands. Instead there was silence, followed by the shattering noise of porcelain striking tile. He was on his feet in an instant, and managed to catch Cordelia before she collapsed to the floor.

Cordelia was awash in a sea of images which she could not control. A pile of rubble. A raging fire. Red and blue flashing lights. The smell of smoke, and the sound of a baby's cry.

The vision was gone in a matter of seconds, but the experience left Cordelia shaking, and with a splitting headache. Angel supported most of her weight as he helped her over to the couch. "I couldn't see much," she said as soon as she could find the strength to speak. "A woman and a baby. Homeless I think. Something's going to happen, back in the alley where you fought the slime demon."

Before Angel had a chance to respond, Wesley arrived. "Good morning all! I hope everyone ..." his voice trailed off when he noticed Cordelia prone on the couch. "I take it we have some work to do. Are you alright?"

"She'll be fine. You stay with her while I go check this out." Within seconds Angel had pulled his black duster over his head and run to the sewer entrance outside.

Wesley found space beside Cordelia's legs and sat down. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yeah. There's a bottle of aspirin in the medicine cabinet."

A moment later, Wesley's voice came floating from the bathroom. "Good Lord, Cordelia. Do you buy this in bulk?"

"You'd better believe it," Cordelia sighed. "You'd think with all their powers the PTB could make these vision thingies a little less painful!"

They spent the next few minutes in silence while Cordelia waited for the effects of the vision to wear of and the medicine to kick in. Finally she spoke. "Well, let's get going then."

"Cordelia, are you sure you're in any condition to travel?" Wesley asked with concern.

"Not really, that's why I'm taking you with me." She smiled and pulled herself up to a sitting position. "We need to go back to the office. I want to see if there's anything there that we could possibly salvage."

"Perhaps we should check Angel's apartment as well," Wesley remarked thoughtfully. "I don't believe he's had the chance to look himself, and I assume there may have been items of sentimental value down there."

**********

People are so preoccupied with their own lives, their own problems, that they never think to take time to ponder the fragility of it all. The precarious hold that mankind claims to have on this planet, and everything living on it. Perhaps the reason it's not thought of is that if it was we would never find courage to venture from our own homes.

It struck without warning, as things of this nature often do. Men and women went about their business on the streets, unaware of the activity occurring just underneath their feet. And suddenly, everything changed. Petty arguments and worries were forgotten in the battle for life. Prayers were offered to long neglected deities in hopes of escape. Lives flashed before eyes as each person was forced to come face to face with their own mortality.

The one thing that is always taken for granted was gone. The very image of all stability and soundness was ripped apart.

Earthquake.


Chapter 3


Angel sighed as he pulled up to the curb. He had parked in this exact spot just over a week ago before one of the most intense confrontations of his life.

And he didn't mean the slime demon.

At first Kate had seemed like someone he might be able to open up to, to build a friendship with. It would never be like what he and Buffy had, but after 240 years of living Angel realized that a love like that could only come along once in a lifetime ... even if that lifetime was centuries long. Still, he enjoyed had enjoyed her company up until recently. Until the death of her Father.

Angel understood her pain. Losing a parent was never easy. He had killed his own centuries ago, and that loss still created a hole inside him that nothing else could fill. For Kate to lose her Father to dark forces when she was just beginning to become familiar with their existence must have been unbearable. And he couldn't hold her responsible for lashing out toward him at first. But by now he had hoped that she would recognize that while he was once just like the creatures which had brutally murdered her father, he was no longer one of them. Apparently not. Her words still rang in his ears, "your kind." To her, she was no different than those monsters.

Maybe she was right.

The first tremors shook Angel from his contemplation. There was no time for him to move to shelter; all he could do was sit and wait it out.

He had been through earthquakes before, but never one of this magnitude, and never outdoors. Angel gasped at the first sounds of cracking pavement, watching in horror as a large fissure was created mere inches from his left tire. A terrible roar echoed through the alleyway as buildings began to shift on their foundations. And just when he was beginning to think the worst of it was over, an old tenement building catacorner to him started to sway back and forth before finally giving up and collapsing into a mere pile of stones and mortar.

The terrified cry of a child emanated from underneath.

**********

The first thing Wesley became aware of was a throbbing sensation behind his temples. This was followed closely by sharp pain in his left arm, which he soon discovered was caused by the new joint half-way between his elbow and wrist. After a moment, he began to recall what the incidents which had led to the injury.

They had arrived at the office, or what was left of it, a few minutes before. The main structure of the building was still intact, with stairs walls and floors still in basically the same position. Wesley had balked at the idea of entering the unstable looking structure, but Cordelia assured him that the fire department had okayed the place. They had been looking at Cordelia's old desk, trying to decide whether or not it could be salvaged, when the floor began to shake. Wesley had no idea what to make of this, but being a native Californian Cordelia recognized the danger immediately. He remembered hearing her scream "Get to a doorway!" then the floor falling out from beneath their feet.

Cordelia! Wesley had to find her! With a great deal of effort, he managed to roll himself over onto his stomach, then used his good arm to push up to a kneeling position.

"Cordelia!" Wesley took a deep breath to call her name again, in the process inhaling a lung full of dust. His hacking cough almost completely obscured Cordelia's return cry.

"Wesley? Are you alright?"

"I rather think not!" Came his choked reply. "I seem to have broken my arm. You?"

Cordelia took stock of her situation. She seemed to be basically unharmed, as long as she didn't take into account the large wooden beam lying across her left leg. "I think I'm ok. But my leg is stuck!"

"Wonderful," Wesley thought as he stood slowly. The slightest movement caused his fractured arm to scream, and it was all he could do to keep his lips from echoing that cry. His eyes began to adjust to the gloomy darkness, and he was able for the first time to appreciate the seriousness of their situation.

After the collapse of the office floor they had landed in Angel's apartment, or what was left of it. The basic brick structure and cement supports still stood, everything else had been reduced to rubble. A pile of planks and debris lay where the stairs had once been, and the sliding metal doors that led to the elevator were completely blocked by what appeared to be the remain's of Angel's office furniture.

They were trapped.


Chapter 4


Drops of blood spattered onto the rubble as Angel's torn hands lifted chunks of concrete and threw them to the side. Although he was getting closer and closer to the source of the cries, they seemed to be growing fainter.

"Probably running out of air in there," Angel thought as he struggled to move a large steel beam. When it came free at last he tumbled to the ground, pinned beneath it's weight.

He quickly freed himself and glanced around before returning to the digging. By now there should be emergency crews on the scene, or at least flashing red and blue lights in the distance. But the flashing lights Angel could see were too far away, in more affluent areas of the city. "Rescuing those who can afford to be rescued," Angel sighed.

Then all his conscious thought was gone. Angel's world consisted solely of this mound of debris, and the muffled cries of one child.

**********

"Wesley, you're not even trying!"

"My dear Cordelia," Wesley spoke with the tone of one trying to explain something to a small child. "I am doing my best, but it is a bit difficult to do this with only one arm!"

Cordelia turned her head away. "I'm sorry."

Wesley immediately felt a pang of regret. The girl wasn't trying to be rude, she was just scared. And being truly scared was not something Cordelia Chase experienced often. With his good hand he reached out to brush her hair from her eyes. "It's alright," he spoke softly. "I'll get you out of here." His hand traveled from her hairline to her cheek, where it rested for a moment.

A shock ran through Wesley's body. It had been meant to be a comforting gesture; he had wanted to remind her that he was there for her. It had become something else entirely, something much more sensual. And from the look in her eyes Cordelia had felt it too. "Well then," Wesley spoke briskly, rising to a standing position. "Lets find a way to get you out of this mess."

He began to carefully pick his way through the wreckage. Part of him was looking for something to use to move the beam, but most was thinking of that moment when he had touched her. "It just doesn't make sense," he thought, shaking his head. "Even when we kissed that day in the library, it didn't feel anything like this. Can a simple touch really mean that much?"

Wesley was so engrossed in these thoughts that he didn't see the door lying on the ground until he tripped over it. This time he could not contain the scream that came from landing directly on his broken arm.

"Wesley?" Cordelia cried. "Wesley, are you ok?" There was no reply. "Wesley!"

"I'm fine," he managed to gasp. The pain was so extreme it had literally taken his breath away. After a moment he was able to stand again. "Blasted door!" he was about to give it a good swift kick when an idea occurred to him. With his good hand he grasped the door handle, and began to drag it across the room.

Cordelia couldn't see what Wesley was doing, and all she could hear was his labored breathing and the occasional grunt of pain. "What are you doing over there?"

"It'll be alright," he smiled. "I have a plan."

**********

Angel felt as if he had been digging for hours. Every muscle in his body ached, and his joints complained loudly with every move he made. Still, he kept digging. As long as that child continued to cry, he would keep digging.

As Angel tossed yet another piece of concrete to the side, he noticed that he had uncovered a small hole. He knelt next to it and stuck his arm through. It was definitely and air pocket, and the crying child was louder than ever.

With renewed vigor, Angel made short work of creating a hole big enough for him to crawl through. It was pitch black inside, but his vampire eyes took mere moments to adjust. A large piece of the roof had fallen at an angle, creating this small area no more than ten feet square. There was a small movement in the corner. Angel could hear two heartbeats, but one was rather erratic. He crawled as quickly as possible across the debris.

Angel had seen horrible things in his day, but this topped them all. A body lay on it's side, pummeled by the collapsing building to the point that it's sex and skin color were almost impossible to discern, although after a moment Angel determine that it must be female. The skull was crushed on the left side, giving her head the misshapen shape of a deflated basketball. Cradled protectively in the woman's arms was a young black baby, no more than eight months old. The child appeared unscathed. The mother had apparently shielded the child from injury with her own body. At the sight of Angel the baby stopped crying, and looked up at him with expectant eyes.


Chapter 5


"Are you sure this will work?" Cordelia asked incredulously.

"Basic laws of physics." Wesley stepped back a few paces to get a better look at his creation. "The door is our lever, that chunk of bricks the fulcrum. Since the fulcrum is placed closer to you than to me, I should have enough leverage to lift the beam."

"You are going to lift that? No offence Wesley but I'm not sure you'd have enough strength to push that lever thingy down with two good arms."

"No offence taken, you're absolutely right. That's why I'm going to sit on it."

Cordelia sighed. "I knew I should have paid more attention in high school science. With all the deaths and apocalypses and all, who had time to worry about physics?"

Wesley moved to a place where Cordelia could see him. "You forget my dear, I knew you in high school. You were too busy fixing your hair to pay attention in class."

Those words were far to cutting for times such as these, and Wesley knew it. He quickly backtracked. "I know that you contributed to that group in your own ... unique way. And you do more than your fare share now. I don't know what I'd do without you." The words tumbled out before Wesley even knew what he had said. "I ... I mean what Angel and I would do without you, of course."

For a moment, neither could do anything to break the silence. Finally Cordelia spoke up. "Well you guys do need me to keep yourself in business, so I suggest you get this thing off of me!"

"Right. Well then ..." Wesley hoped the tremor in his voice wasn't as apparent to her as it was to him. The feelings welled up inside him to the point of overflowing. When he had wanted Cordelia before it had been nothing more than lust, the schoolboy fantasies that he had never outgrown. Now there was something else there, something more.

But there was no time for those thoughts now. He had to get Cordelia free so that they could try to find a way out of the building before it collapsed. Wesley climbed up onto the chair he had placed by his end of the lever. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

Wesley placed his good right arm on the edge of the door, then half lifted-half jumped onto it. He was facing away from Cordelia, his feet dangling of the edge.

And nothing was happening.

"Wesley?" There was real panic in Cordelia's voice this time.

Wesley began to bounce the door up and down, praying that it wouldn't snap in two. "Come on," he whispered to himself. "Come on ..." He began to sink to the ground. His descent was slow at first, but he gained speed as he went, eventually crashing to the floor with a bone jarring thud. The impact caused him to lose his grip, and he slid off the edge onto the floor.

"Cordelia!" He screamed as the lever and beam went crashing back to their original position.

"I'm okay!" Cordelia had managed to squirm her way out before the crash. With a cry of joy she ran across the room and threw her arms around her rescuer.

"Cordelia ... Cordelia!" Normally Wesley would have enjoyed this unexpected sign of affection, but in her rush Cordelia had completely forgotten his broken arm. She released her embrace.

"Oh, sorry," her face turned crimson. Wesley didn't even know she was capable of blushing.

"Quite alright," Wesley smiled. "Now let's get out of here."

**********

"Angel?"

The vampire's head snapped up to the woman's face. Her eyes were small slits, as if it was a great deal of effort to keep them open even that far. "How ... how did you know my name?"

The corner of her mouth turned up in a small smile. "I didn't. I ..." She paused to cough, and blood splattered across Angel's chest as he leaned in closer to hear her faint voice. "I dreamt that an angel would come. To save my child. I dreamt of you."

"I will. I'll save both of you." Angel moved to pick the woman up in his arms.

"No! It's my time now. I know that." Her chest heaved as if it was a great effort to breathe at all, let alone speak. "In my dream, God said an angel would come, to take my child from me."

Part of Angel knew the woman was right. The death rattle was present in her throat. Even if the head wound could be healed, she would still drown in her own blood. But his heart insisted that she be saved. "Just lie still. I'll go find a doctor."

"No time. And there's nothing they can do anyway. God told me. He said that you'd take care of her. That I should give her to you." She tried to lift the baby in her arms, but was too weak

"I'll make sure she ..." the enormity of what the woman had said suddenly struck him. "Give her to me?"

The woman tried to nod. "She was never meant to be mine. In my dream I saw ... she belongs to you. She needs you. And you need her."

Angel began to protest. "But my life ... I couldn't possibly ... you have no idea the things I've done."

"But I know the things you do." Her eyes caught Angel's, and he found he couldn't look away. "You help people. You have a good soul. And you were meant to be together. Promise me. Promise you'll look after her."

Tears welled up in Angel's eyes. "I ... I ..." how could he make a promise he knew he couldn't keep? But this woman was dying right before his eyes. Slowly he nodded, and picked up the child.

"Thank you," the mother tried to smile again. "Take care of her. She's ... my joy." Her chest rose and fell once, and then was still.

**********

"Cordelia, any luck up there?"

Cordelia sat on top of the large pile of furniture and rubble that blocked the way to the elevator. "Nope. The stuff up here's too heavy to lift."

"And if we dig from the bottom we'll probably pull the whole pile down on top of us." Wesley sighed. "I believe we may be stuck here for quite a while."

Cordelia carefully climbed down from her perch. She opened her mouth to say something, then stopped. After a moment she crossed the apartment to where Angel's kitchen had been. "I don't think we have a while."

"What?" Wesley moved to join her. Then he smelled it too. "Gas. The line must have ruptured during the earthquake."

"We don't have time to wait for a rescue," Cordelia frowned. "We have to find a way out of here. Soon."


Chapter 6


Cordelia and Wesley had fought invisible foes before. Ghosts, demons with the power to hide right in the open, these were things that they could fight. But this night they faced a different sort of invisible enemy; one that had no weaknesses, no vulnerable points, not even a plan of attack The more gas that was pumped into the room, the less life giving oxygen was available. And there was nothing they could do to fight it.

"Wesley?" Cordelia's speech was slurred. "Do you think we'll get hazzard pay for this?"

Wesley smiled. Even in the face of death, Cordelia was still Cordelia. "If we get out of here, I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

Cordelia lifted her head to look at Wesley. They were sitting on the floor, leaning on the pile of furniture that blocked their escape. "Don't say that. We'll find a way. Or Angel will come ..."

"Angel doesn't even know we're here," he said wearily. "And we barely have the strength to stand, let alone dig."

"Don't you do that!" Cordelia scooted herself closer to him. "Don't you give up! We've been in tougher spots than this." She grasped his hand.

In that moment, time seemed to stop. Their eyes met, and a moment of silent understanding passed between them. Almost exactly one year earlier, their impending death at the hands of the mayor had brought them together. But they weren't ready. Animal attraction just wasn't enough, not even in times of crisis. And so they parted.

Now fate had brought them to another time of peril, but neither was the same person they had been before. Only one year had passed, but that time had been one of transformation. And as they changed they grew closer and became a family. And this time they were ready for the moment of crisis to help them overcome their fears.

Eyes closed and mouths connected. When they had kissed before it had been a moment of blind passion and lust. This time they found warmth, gentleness, compassion. The time was finally right.

After the moment passed, Wesley wrapped his arm around Cordelia and drew her close. How cruel a trick of fate to bring them together only at the end. But at least they would die together.

Cordelia relaxed into Wesley's embrace, then shivered as a cold finger of air blew up her spine. Her fuzzy mind tried to wrap around that fact. "A draft. How can there be a ..." Finally she realized what that meant. "Wesley! Wesley move! There's air coming through here!" Cordelia began to dig.

"Cordelia, you might bring the whole thing down on our heads!"

Cordelia turned to him "What do we have to lose?"

There was no arguing with that. Wesley knelt behind her to move the debris out of the way. After a few minutes they reached Angel's desk. It had fallen through the floor and landed right-side up, and there was just enough room to squeeze through underneath. Cordelia went first, then helped pull Wesley through with his good arm.

"You're amazing," he whispered as she helped him to his feet.

Cordelia smiled. "I know. Let's get out of here."

*******

"Well at least the building's still standing," Cordelia said as she fished through her pockets for her keys. "Let's hope it looks a better on the inside than the office did."

She opened the door and switched on the lights. The damage wasn't anywhere near what she expected it to be. Dishes and pottery had been broken, but Dennis had cleaned most of the mess. "Thank goodness for ghosts who like to keep tidy. Thank you!" Cordelia called.

"Angel?" Wesley noticed the vampire sitting on the couch, his back to them. "Are you alright?"

Angel didn't even look up. "Yeah. Fine."

"Yeah? Well we're fine too, thanks for asking." Cordelia said angrily. "I mean, it's not like we were in a building that collapsed and had to dig through mountains of bricks, then climb an elevator shaft and cross bare floor beams to get out. Then we had to take Wesley to the hospital for a cast. You know, I know you're really into this whole broody vampire thing, but you could at least show some ..." She stopped short as she noticed the bundle in Angel's arms.

Wesley moved to Angel's side. "Where did you?"

"The baby from Cordelia's vision. The mother's dead," Angel spoke softly. He was mesmerized by the child's eyes. The only time he had ever held a child was when he was about to feed on it. They would cry and scream. But this little girl ... her eyes seemed to look straight into his soul.

"Why would the Powers that Be send you after this baby?" Cordelia asked. "There were so many people hurt in the quake ... maybe she has special powers, or she'll save the world ... maybe she's the next slayer."

"I don't think so."

"Angel," Wesley spoke. "What are you not telling us?"

The vampire sighed. "The mother had a vision also. An Angel came to take her baby away. She said ... she said the baby was mine, not hers."

Cordelia's eyes widened. "The Powers wanted you to have a baby?"

"I don't know." Angel handed the child to Cordelia and began to pace the room. "Maybe she was just delirious. She had a very serious head wound. I mean, why would ..."

"Who are we to ask why?" Wesley asked. "Cordelia had a vision, this woman had a vision, all signs point to you."

Angel turned angrily. "I can't take care of a baby! We can't take care of a baby! Our lives are so dangerous, we may not be here tomorrow. I respect your right to make a choice to live this way, I won't make that choice for her."

"Don't turn this into something it's not," Cordelia stood, baby cradled in her arms. "This isn't about her, it's about you. You're afraid. Afraid to love somebody. Afraid that you don't deserve her."

"Don't you begin to tell me what I think or feel. You have no idea what goes on in my head!"

"Because you don't let us in!" Wesley's voice rose. "You say we're a family now? We're not. Families talk, families share, families help each other. You don't let us do any of those things. Not the way we could."

"Maybe that's why she's here," Cordelia said. "Maybe she can teach you how to be a part of a family."

Angel grabbed his coat. "She isn't going to be part of our family. She's going to social services first thing in the morning!" With that he stormed out the door.


Chapter 7


The baby's cry woke Cordelia a few hours later. She turned to look at her bedside clock. "3 am. Gotta love the parenting business."

A shape shifted under the covers beside her. "Do you need any help?" Wesley asked sleepily.

Cordelia smiled. "Go back to sleep." She slid her feet into their slippers and padded out to the living room, where the makeshift cradle had been placed. She was still a few feet away when the crying stopped. Needing to make sure everything was alright, but not wanting to wake the child if she had fallen back asleep, Cordelia tiptoed into the dark room.

There was a dark shape standing over the cradle. Her first impulse was to attack, but Dennis would have done something if the child was in danger. She decided to wait and watch.

**********

Angel bent to pick up the baby. Her cheeks were tearstained, but she had stopped crying the moment he entered the house.

"I don't understand," Angel said quietly. "This is no life for a child. It really isn't. We've already lost Doyle ... anything can happen to any of us. And who would take care of you?"

The baby's velvet brown eyes stared straight into his, unblinking. "I can't be a father. I don't know how. My father wasn't exactly the greatest role model. And the things that I've done ... how could I look at you knowing how many children I took away from their parents?"

For what seemed like the hundredth time that night, Angel wished he had the oracles here to guide him. But he knew what they would say. The visions were a guide to what could be, what should be; but it was up to him to make the decision.

"I can't," a single tear wound it's way down Angel's cheek. "You deserve a real family, one that can love you. You should have a father who is worthy of a daughter's love." Angel closed his eyes and burried lowered his head.

A moment later he felt warm flesh touch his cheek. He opened his eyes to see the baby's hand touching his cheek. And in her eyes ... it was almost as if she understood, and begged him to love her anyway.

**********

Wesley had joined Cordelia when he heard Angel's voice. Together they moved to Angel's side. For a moment there was complete silence. Finally Cordelia spoke. "What will you name her?"

Angel looked up at the rest of his family. "Joy. We'll name her Joy."

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