1.  If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has access to an exit and not in a bathroom, kitchen, or anywhere near weapons.

   2.  Practic how to get out of your home safely.  Identify which doors, windows, or stairwells would be best.

   3.  Have an extra set of keys and a packed bag ready.  Keep them in an undisclosed but accessible place in order to leave quickly.

   4.  Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask them to call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your house.

   5.  Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police.

   6.  Plan where you will immediately go if you have to leave home (even if you don't think you ever will need to).

   7.  Use your instincts and judgement.  You have every right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.

   8.  Always remember:  YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE HIT OR THREATENED!!!

   1.  Open a checking/ savings account in your name to begin to establish your own separate, independent identity.  Rent a post office box to recieve mail.  Think of other ways in which you can increase your independence.

   2.  Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, and extra clothes with someone you trust, so you can leave quickly.

   3.  Determine who would let you stay with them or lend you some money.

   4.  Keep the Battered Women's Project crisis line numbers close at hand.  Have change or a calling card for emergency calls.

   5.  Review your saftey plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest and quickest way of leaving your abuser.  Do not leave your notes where your abuser can find them.  REMEMBER:  LEAVING IS THE MOST DANGEROUS TIME.

   1.  Change the locks on your doors as soon as possible once abuser leaves.  Buy additional locks and saftey devices to secure windows.

   2.  Discuss a safety plan with your children for times when you are not with them.

   3.  Inform your children's school, daycare, etc., about who has permission to pick up your children.

   4.  Inform neighbors and landlord that your partner no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see him near your home.

   1.  Keep your protection order on you at all times.  (When you change purses, the order should be the first item you put in.)

   2.  Call the police if your partner breaks the protection order in any way.

   3.  Think of alternative ways to keep safe if the police do not respond right away.

   4.  Inform family, friends, teachers of relevant details of the protection order, such as when and where visitation takes place, ect.

   1.  Decide who at work you can tell about your situation, including office or building security and provide a photo of your abuser, if possible.

   2.  Arrange to have someone screen your calls.

   3.  Devise a plan for when you leave work.  Have someone escort you to your car.  Use a variety of routes to go home.  Know where the closest police station is and drive to it if you are being followed.

   2.  If you have to communicate with your partner, plan in advance the safest way to do so.

   3.  Read books, articles, and poems to help you feel stronger.  Keep a journal.

   4.  Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs.

   5.  Seek out people you can talk freely and openly with and who will give you emotional support.

   6.  Plan to attend the Battered Women's projects support groups for support and learn more about yourself.

Contact the Battered Women's Project.  They can give you guidance around protecting yourself.  We can support you around the decisions you need to make.  In Maine, a parent can get a protection order on behalf of a minor child.  REMEMBER YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE HIT OR THREATENED!