Living Terror

On September 11, 2001 I sat watching in pure shock at the acts of terrorism that took place in the United States. While this act of terrorism was massive scale, it does not differ at all from the terrorism that others have suffered in their own countries. Acts of terrorism have no scale. Each taking of innocent life is in itself an unforgivable act.

As focus was directed at Afghanistan the U.S. news media, with the assistance of the government, wanted American citizens to see what they were going to be up against in this search of Bin Laden. In any war one must know and understand ones enemy.

The news media showed how women are treated in Afghanistan. The images shown were shocking. In particular, one of woman in that country, being executed. Accusations had been made against her, unable to defend herself she was lead out into a crowd and executed.

I have watched the world stand united with the United States against these act and rightly so. It is time that all countries stand united against any and all acts of terror and unforgivable acts. My mind goes back to the woman in Afghanistan I saw executed and how shocking it was to view such acts. My mind goes to the acts in my own country, the United States, and the terror I personally have lived with since I was a child. I am one of many who were sentenced to be executed for a crime I was accused on as a child. A child by U.S. law and a child by international standards.

I know first hand what it is to live in terror and my heart goes out to all in my country and throughout the world who live in terror. I am often asked if I am afraid to die. Yes, I am very afraid to die and I live in terror of being executed in Alabama's electric chair. I was filled with sheer terror when I was place in an adult jail, terrified of being raped by adults there. I was just a child. Words cannot describe the terror of hearing the judge, upon sentencing me to death, describe in vivid detail how I would be executed. Stating that I would die in Alabama's electric chair, that electricity of sufficient amount would pass through my body until I was dead.

I could not scream out in terror. I was instructed by my counsel not to show any emotion, yet inside I screamed out in fear. In my ears I heard the screams of my mother and sister, who were present in the court room. I turned to move toward the screams of the voices I have known since my birth, a natural human reaction, but my advances were halted by armed guards.

In silence I was lead away to my terror. I was taken immediately to a police car and driven to Holman prison. In terror I was stripped of all of my clothes, my hair was cut. I was taken to the death unit where the electric chair is and my photograph was taken. I was then placed in a cell for the condemned. My mind, still screaming in terror, my mind still hearing the screams of my mother and sister.

To this day those screams are ever present. I have received no counseling as to how to deal with my terror. No such counseling is afforded to the condemned. The simple truth is such terror is required in order to execute. One must acknowledge that he is here to be electrocuted.

I am older now. While I have matured in age so has my terror. It has not diminished or lessened. Nor have my silent screams. Silent screams that are united with the others on death row who were children and all others facing execution. I stand united with the woman in Afghanistan who was lead out into the crowd and executed. I stand united in terror.

Tim Davis Z-399
Cell 3-D-2

Something to think about

Words from death row......

For a full list of articles written by Juveniles on Alabama's Death Row, go to the complete list of titles at Stories.