Stranger Than Fiction
ALLY112038@AOL.COM 

Spoof fic! Post-post-post-post ep. <g>

Scully wasn't really taking too much notice of her surroundings. Having returned from a glorious summer vacation - no Mulder, no mutants, no conspiracies - a scant two days ago, she wasn't exactly in the right frame of mind for work.

Plus, she was more than a little pissed at her partner. Despite the fact that they had mutually agreed that vacations should remain separate, she had at least expected a *call* to welcome her home. But on entering her apartment, she had found the answer phone clogged with messages from her Mother and little else.

One message had been interesting though - Frohike's eager tone suggesting that they should meet covertly someplace to discuss their future relationship. Scully had almost laughed out loud. *Future relationship* In his dreams.

She'd finally weakened and put in a call to Mulder, listening in irritation as his answer phone kicked in. His cell phone told a similar story. Fox Mulder was not available, was out of the area. Was inaccessible to her.

But, after fuming her way through the remainder of the weekend, she'd finally got things in to some kind of perspective. After all, they had drawn the boundaries of their relationship together. She herself had insisted that if they were to take their partnership on to a more intimate level he was to respect her personal space. To not crowd her and she had no right to berate him for doing as she asked.

Besides which, she would be seeing him soon. Was looking forward to watching that gentle smile stretch across his features. It was a smile he reserved especially for her, and one which lightened her heart every time she saw it.

The anticipation made her quicken her pace, until finally, she pushed open the door to their dingy office, knowing that he would already be here.

"Hey G-man......"

Her greeting died on her lips as she stepped over the threshold. The office held an air of general disuse. Sunbeams filtering through the overhead skylight held on to the dust motes that danced in the air.

Mulder's desk occupied it's usual space in the corner and as Scully stepped up closer, it was obvious it had not been used in a while. For one thing, it was way too tidy. It was also missing several of Mulder's personal effects. The photograph of the two of them which normally took pride of place was gone. As was Mulder's prized collection of so-called Martian meteorite chips. The stack of sharpened pencils were stuffed in to a plastic desk tidy, waiting for Mulder to release them, launch them towards the ceiling as he played his irritating game of inverted darts.

Scully swallowed. The first vestiges of worry creeping in to cloud her features.

Where the hell was he? Had something happened while she was away?

She shook her head.

No. She was listed as his next of kin. She would have been informed. Wouldn't she?

A gentle tapping at the door almost made her jump out of her skin, although she relaxed visibly as Skinner poked his head in to the room.

"Agent Scully. Welcome back..."

Scully dispensed with the niceties and waved her hand at Skinner.

"I'm sorry sir....but where's Agent Mulder?"

Skinner reddened slightly and stepped in to the room.

"That's what I came to talk to you about. I'm sorry Scully, but he's gone."

Scully felt the earth beneath her shift slightly, as though in the grip of a minor earthquake, and as Skinner saw the color drain from her face he hurried over to her, immediately regretting his choice of words.

"No, Scully, I don't mean *Gone* gone. I mean he's left. He resigned just after you left for summer vacation."

Scully gaped at him. Opening and closing her mouth like a goldfish.

"WHAT???!!!!" Why?"

Skinner shrugged.

"It seems he's been offered a position out of state - something to do with research in to the paranormal. I believe the term he used was *creative control*. He's been unhappy here for a while. Felt as though he had achieved everything he could with the X-Files project........and there were other reasons...."

Scully sat down heavily. Aware that to sit before her boss was a breach of protocol. But right now, protocol was the last thing on her mind.

<He's gone. He's gone without telling me>

"Other reasons?" she finally managed.

Skinner coughed slightly, pulling at the collar of his shirt which was now squeezing his neck uncomfortably.

"Um........It would seem that there have been some *anomalies* with regards to Agent Mulder's pay check. A bureaucratic oversight I'm sure....but the fact is, that the FBI has been underpaying him for years. Almost since he started here in fact........."

He trailed off then, aware that Scully's expression had darkened dangerously.

"Underpaying *him*?" she spluttered "Jesus, they've been underpaying me for years. I suppose you're aware that I draw almost a third less than Agent Mulder does...... *Did*"

Skinner nodded sadly.

"Yes, but we explained that to you at the time Scully. Agent Mulder was always the primary Agent within the X-Files department, and as superior Agent we felt it only prudent that he should be rewarded in this way.........."

"Crap" snarled Scully.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that Agent." Skinner brightened perceptibly "Anyway, the good news is that, as the new primary agent in charge of this department, I have been authorised to offer you substantial remuneration......and I have a surprise for you....."

He stepped away from her then and swung the door open with a theatrical flourish.

"Ta-Da! Your new partner."

Scully's eyes widened with shock.

"Hey babe. You never returned my call."

"FROHIKE?????"

The little man, looking even shorter in the sharply pressed serge suit puffed his barrel chest out as far as it would go.

"*Special Agent* Frohike to you Red!"

End

<ebg> sorry, but I had to do it.