Calista Speaks Out!

ET Online June, 12 2001

When CALISTA FLOCKHART rocketed to stardom as "Ally McBeal," no one warned her to fasten her seatbelt for the bumpy ride. And bumpy it has been. The media has taken her to task for everything from the length of her skirts to her alleged eating disorder. Lifetime Television gave the Illinois-born actress a chance to clear the air in an exclusive interview for a segment of "Intimate Portrait," which will premiere on Monday, June 18.

"I didn't look good in long skirts," Calista reveals. "They had to be long or short. I didn't want them to be in the middle. I never thought for one second people would talk about what I was wearing."

As stimulating as the controversy regarding the length of Calista's skirts may have been, it was nothing compared to what happened when Calista collapsed on the set of "Ally McBeal" last December. Despite the official announcement that she was suffering from exhaustion and dehydration, the tabloids had a field day announcing that the actress, who has never grown accustomed to being a media darling, was suffering from bulimia.

"When it started, it just kept going and going and it kind of kept growing and suddenly there were some really big lies out there about me," Calista explained. "People thought it was legitimate news. I was really angry and frustrated and I had no control over the situation. I was frightened and I was upset that it could be potentially damaging to my career. I think I was a little depressed for a while about it, and then sort of snapped out of that and focused on my work and let the storm kind of ride itself out."

A graduate of Rutgers University with a BFA in theater, Calista made her Broadway debut opposite JULIE HARRIS in The Glass Menagerie. But her struggle to succeed was no easier than for any other upcoming actress.

"I think that auditioning is really hard," she comments. "You're sometimes desperately trying to get a job. It's just like anybody else interviewing for a job -- it is not easy. It is like dating for God's sake; it is horrible. I did a Burger King commercial in which I just wrapped up hamburgers. They didn't even show my face. They were supposed to have my face but you know how that goes. I showed up and they said, 'We'll just use her hands.'"

Despite all the brouhaha that has accompanied her fame, Calista isn't buying into it.

"I don't know how to measure how famous I am," she states. "It is really different when you're the person. I can't explain it other than that because I don't have the same experience that other people have of it. I just feel like me, and I don't feel famous. I know what it feels like to be followed by the paparazzi. I know what it feels like to be scrutinized. I know what it means to get special treatment when you don't deserve to get special treatment. It's embarrassing and awful."

There were charges of preferential treatment when Calista announced that she had adopted a baby boy, whom she named LIAM, this past January. But others have spoken out on her behalf, pointing out that what celebrities do have is the money to try different methods of adoption. They have to go through the same procedures as anyone else. Despite the fact that it made her the center of media attention once again, Calista is thrilled with her decision to adopt.

"It's the best thing that I have done in my life," she admits, "and it really changes who you are. It changes your heart. It's made me tolerant of things I wasn't tolerant of before. It's a miracle. Anybody who has children talks like this so I'm not unique and I am not special, but I am in love with my child in a way that I have truly never been in love before. I can't explain it, but it's something that I am really happy that I didn't miss. I worry about being a single parent, and I worry about all the issues you have when you have a child."