Chapter 5
"Ride Captain Ride, Aboard Our Mystery ship…"
From forward to aft, it’s like a city block long. We go to the stern and look over the side. The ship is beginning to pull away from the dock. ”Let’s go to the front!” Sandra says. I know what direction it is, but how to get there is the question. I pull out the ship’s deck plan. Up three decks.
Four flights of stairs and an elevator later we’re near the front.
Take another staircase to the very top deck for a better view. Start to open a door when I read a sign “Adults Only, No Cameras Please.” We turn to go back down the steps and face an elderly couple about in their 70’s on their way up. They too, read the sign. The woman turns to the man and says “At least I’ll know where you’ll be the whole trip.” He smiles at Sandra as we pass by.
We find the deck, it’s just above the ship’s bridge. There’s about twenty people looking forward. A US Coast Guard helicopter hovers overhead, then pulls ahead of the ship. Small shrimp boats move aside to get out of our way. We see Coast Guard vessels on our left and right escorting us out. The helicopter returns, circles overhead, then goes forward again. It does this several times until we’re pass the harbor and out to sea. It’s a security measure I’m sure, but I wondered if anyone was already on the ‘Adult Only-No Cameras, Please’ deck.
Thirty minutes and minus eighteen people later, Sandra and I have the deck to ourselves. I haven’t had sleep for almost 32 hours my mind reminds me. I argue back, who could sleep at a time like this?
We’re thoroughly enjoying the view. The breeze against our faces is cool, we can feel the steady rhythm of the engines pushing us on.
We see several dolphins surface and dip back under.
There’s more ships just ahead, oil tankers and cargo freighters waiting in line to go into Galveston harbor. One freighter in particular, is directly ahead, and looks like it’s coming straight at us. It looks likes it’s getting closer. Closer. Uncomfortably closer. I start wondering how much time it would take to get to our cabin, dawn our floatation vests, and get to ‘C’ muster station before anyone else notices.
The freighter is closer, about 1,000 yards now. I break out in a sweat as the approaching ship grows in size. It looks as big as the ‘Celebration’. 500 yards…
I see tomorrows newspapers top story, “Cruise Ship Accident, Of the 1,486 people and crew of 640 aboard, only two were killed as they stood watching the ships collide. Names of the deceased are being withheld until notification of next of kin.”
Closer, maybe 200 yards now…
Maybe this a game of ‘chicken’ to see which ship will back off first?
The ship’s bridge is just below us, do I run down there and declare the Captain insane and relieve him of his command? And do what? Take control? I remembered seeing a movie, or was it a ‘Star Trek’ episode, maybe it was the book “Mutiny On The Bounday” where the ships doctor had to officially determine the Captain as “being incompetent to perform his duties. Once so declared, the second in command took over."
Where’s the ships doctor? I wonder. I pull out my deck plan map. ‘Infirmary…Deck 3/Aft.’ We’re at “Deck 11/ Forward. Seven decks down, the other end of the ship.
No way we could make it in time! I look up. The freighter looks like it’s starting to turn, I can see a little of it’s left side exposed like it’s turning… Now more of it… IT IS TURNING! OUR CAPTAIN WON, HAH!
As the ship passes I waved at the loser and yell “Let that be a lesson to you!” I face the other ships, shake my fist at them, “And all you other Captains out there, ours is not to be reckoned with!” We pass by them, they aren’t moving. I guess they took my warning.
- More Cruise Lines in Chapter 6 -
Chapter 6 It’s 5 o’clock. I haven’t slept for 33 hours now. Who could sleep in this unknown, exciting environment at sea called the ‘Celebration.’ There’s so much to see and get acquainted with. Sandra and I continue our tour of what will be our neighborhood for the next five days. We pass crewmembers, they bow to us like we’re royalty.
We visit one deck at a time. We leave the forward observation deck (located under the ‘Adults Only-No Cameras Please! one) and enter the gym / spa. There’s four treadmills, two stepmasters, a bench press with weights. Sandra tries a treadmill, while I weight myself on the scale.
Sandra’s has been losing weight for the past six months. I found more.
Before we left for the cruise, Sandra’s weight loss instructor informed her “On a cruise, most people gain 5-7 pounds.”
Fast forward: Chapter 12,118. Page 3,086,341
I told my Mom, “Sandra only gained a half pound. I’m afraid to look.”
Back twelve pounds
Leave the gym after an English (literally) speaking young woman greets us with “Would you like to make an appointment for a massage?”
She directs us to the masseuse room. We decline, knowing what would happen. We’d never leave, spend our whole five-day cruise here in this room. Both masseuses would have to work in 12 hours shifts, working their fingers to the bones and our muscles.
“So,” our friends would ask, “What’d you see in Cozumel?” “Didn’t go into town.” “How ‘bout Playa del Carman?” “No.” “Bet you loved the water when you went snorkeling!” “Didn’t snorkel.” “What was the ship like?” “Don’t know, never saw it.” “What was the food like?” “Never ate.” “What’d you do then?” My eyes would simply glaze over.
Outside, see two hot tubs, empty of people and water.
Next, we see a sun deck over looking a pool empty of people and water, but with a waterslide. We walk thru the patio.
We sit at a table. Waiters are carrying fully stocked trays featuring the ship’s ‘Drink of the Day.’ They come by us every ten seconds.
We listen to the man playing the pan, an instrument that looks like a 55- gallon drum with both ends beat in. Lots of people here are getting in a festive mood, dancing to the reggae music. Kids are playing ‘floor chess’ with pieces as tall as them.
We leave. My head is nodding, eyes closing. Got to get up and move around. Walk a little ways and see a shuffleboard pattern painted on the wooden deck. “What’s a cruise without shuffleboard?" I ask Sandra.
Fast forward: Chapter? Probably around 15,000,000 Book three:
Bill, our pastor asked, “Did you play shuffleboard, too?”
“No, never had time the whole cruise.” I answered.
Back to hopefully getting to play shuffleboard on deck.
See life boats. Lots of lifeboats hanging over the side. Enough for 1,048 passengers and crew of 640? Probably so, most of them would still be waiting in line for food or a quick pizza, while the waiters continue to serve the drink of the day. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
We go down a flight of stairs to the children’s pool. It too, is empty. Some kids are playing ping pong.
Pass thru a glass door and smell food. Another food palace with kings, queens and their offspring waiting in line.
Go thru an arcade with lots of video games, a combination bar and disco, another bar, a trolley car with sushi and fish fetus' being served. We pass it up, if you know sushi like I know sushi…, another bar, the adult arcade commonly known as the casino, a garden square decorated with palm trees, five paintings on easels to be auctioned off as one of the ship’s activities. The Peter Max looked interesting.
Last stop this deck, the Astro lounge, a large theater where the floorshows, bingo, and cruise meetings will be held. Seriously doubt 1,048 people can fit in here, maybe 200, 300 max if no one breathes.
Walk down some stairs in the theater, thru the aisles, to the lounge below. Exit the lounge to a beauty salon, followed by shopping malls of stores (jewelry/t-shirts/ perfumes/post cards/suntan lotion-all tax-duty free). See the tuxedo rental shop. I need to remember its location for the tux I’ve reserved for the Captains dinner. Next to it is a liquor store where you can buy, but can’t drink until the last day of the cruise. Next to it is a jewelry shop where you can wear as soon as you make your purchase.
Come to one of the two large main dinning rooms. We check to see if they’re serving dinner.
“Yes, we are,” the headwaiter checks our ‘sign and sail’ card for our table number. My stomach begins a celebration on it’s own.
“You’ve reserved ‘late’ dinner, it begins at 8.”
I look at my watch, it says 6:20, I think. I want to tell him about not getting any sleep for thirty-three hours, the car trouble we had getting here, the hotels being full, the waiting line just to get on the ship, etc. but say nothing. My logic, having long abandoned me, has sided with him. My stomach complains but to no avail. We press on.
Next is the Admirals Room, the ships library. I do a quick look around, and immediately like this room. Books, cards, games can be checked out here when it’s open, and offers access to the internet (satellite, not DSL obviously).
“Cool!” I scream, “No I-net withdrawal this vacation!” I read one of the computer screens. The first 3 minutes is free, then 75 cents per minute thereafter ‘conveniently charged to my ‘sign and SALE’ card. I could call on my cell phone for 40 a minute, but the roaming charge…
Sandra points up to the stain glass ceiling with cruise ships etched with lead. Paintings of various ships line the ceiling walls. There’s a ships bell from the cruise ship ‘Lusitania’. The name rang a bell... wasn’t it the ‘cruise liner’ torpedoed and sunk back in 1915 by Nazi Germany? It WAS ferrying tourists, and unknown to them, armament and ammunition from America to England during World War 1. 1,195 people (123 Americans) were killed in the attack.
I hated to think about the seriousness of the loss of life, but deep down I wondered if they couldn’t find their muster station... or get their life vests on.
Pass by another bar, then the other main dinning room. We check to see if we can eat here. The headwaiter looks at our card, “No, sorry sir, you’re scheduled to eat over in the Admiral’s Dinning Room at 8. It’s only thirty minutes.” I want to tell him about not sleeping for- now it’s going on 34 and a half hours… the car trouble, and everything else, but my stomach is speaking louder than I can talk, so I let. He leans over, points to my belly, and speaks to it directly, “Thirty minutes!”
I don’t know if I can stay awake that long.
We walk a hallway and come to a wall. We have to go left or right. It’s a serious decision. Do we walk or take the elevator down to get around to the other side? While waiting for the elevator I almost fall asleep.
The elevator doors open. It’s packed with people. The doors close, so do my eyes. “Keep moving!” Drill master Sandra orders. We take the stairs. I almost fall asleep walking down the stairs.
We walk a short hallway, then have go back up the stairs to get back to the deck we were just on. “Why?” I asked no one in particular. The wall, we find out later, is the back of the kitchen.
We come to a line of people at the stairwell waiting to go up. “Why?”
They’re waiting for the doors to the Admiral’s dinning Room to open. At 8 sharp.
We go back down the hallway to the elevator, wait in a short line, take it up two decks. We’re thinking maybe the line of people at the fast food places have shrunk since everyone is now waiting to eat at the main dinning rooms. At 8. Sharp.
Go thru some glass doors, smell food. Stare at aaaallll the food… and aaaallll the people waiting in line to get to it.
We pass the food and people and see an ‘Open 24-hour Pizzeria’. Eighteen hours of people are waiting in a line. “24 hours, sharp!” my mind reminds me.
We move on, pass another bar, no line there, go thru some more glass doors, no line waiting to go thru them, go outside to a sun deck and pool that is filled with plenty of empty. Look over the railing, no line here either. We see the vacant children’s pool below. Look behind us, no line, and above to the deck we’d seen earlier. Still no line there either.
I’m weak, hungry and sleepy. I sit in a deck chair while Sandra goes to wait in line to get enough food for us both.
I pass out. The last thing I thought I heard was “Ladies and Gentlemen, that concludes our tour. Thank you for flying PriceLess cruise ‘LINES’. We hope you’ll stay awake and enjoy the next four days with us, somewhere in a line.”