It’s time for the “The Forgive or Forget Not” shoooow! The show that hopefully brings people together for “forgiveness” or IF reconciliation isn’t possible then “forget not,” and the relationship is over.
“Now here’s your host, Faaaatheerrr Luuuvvv!”
“Thank you, glad you’re with us today. If you’re not familiar with our show, here’s how it works:"
"A person knows he’s done wrong and wants to be forgiven, then the wrong is to be entirely forgotten forever, and both people continue their relationship. This is what we hope happens."
“But if, the wronged person chooses to not forgive, then they have not forgotten the wrong, and the relationship is ended. Both people then go on with their own separate lives.”
“Let’s meet our guest, he’s a man from Galilee, please welcome Jesus Christ!”
“Welcome to the show, Jesus. Tell us a little bit about yourself; What type of work do you do?”
“Well, I’ve done a lot, but I guess you could say I’m in the reconstruction business, you know, make old things new.”
“Great, now let’s get started with today’s show. Our first guess is-“
“Forgiven!”
“Uh, we haven’t told you who they are yet?”
“I know who it is, and I’ve forgiven them.”
“Uh…but that’s not exactly how it works.”
“Yes, it is. That’s exactly how it works. Next guest please.”
“Uh…Okay. Our next guest-“
“Forgiven.”
“Uh…but-“
“Next guest please!”
“Okay. Our next-“
“Forgiven!”
“Listen, you at least need to see them and hear what their wrong is against you.”
“I already have, I remember them and forgave them. I just forgot what they did.”
“Then we need to remind you of their wrong.”
“No, I forgave them, and I’ve forgotten the wrong, that’s what it’s all about.”
“Uh…right…Our…next…guest…is…Are you going to stop me?”
“Go ahead.”
“Uh, our… next guest, is a self-employed businessman. Please welcome Jim!” Well, Jim, you know Jesus I take it?”
“Oh yes. I’ve know Jesus for a long time.”
“Okay. What’s the wrong you’d like forgiveness for?”
“I failed to love my brother as myself. I have a lot of pride, you see.”
“Well, what about it, Jesus? Forgive, or Forget not?”
“Forgot on the first, the second hasn’t been resolved yet.”
“Jim only wronged once, the failing to love his brother. What’s the second?”
“Pride.”
“Pride?”
“Yes.”
“OK, Jim, is pride a wrong you’d like forgiveness for?”
“Ahhh, yes. I guess so. Jesus, do you forgive me?”
“For what?”
Father Luv looks at Jesus, then at Jim. They’re both smiling at each other, both seem to know something no one else understands, like an inside joke. Tears runs down Jim’s eyes. Father Luv doesn’t know what to say. A pause seems like an eternity.
“Well, thank you, Jim. You’ve been forgiven, and that’s what our show is all about.”
Our next guest…”
Father Luv stops and looks over at Jesus to see if He’s going to stop him.
Jesus looks at him, smiling.
Father Luv sees He isn’t and continues: “Our next guest is a former pastor turned evangelist from Florida, please welcome Robert.”
“Thank you. It’s good to be here and especially wherever Jesus is.”
“So, Robert, what’s going on?”
“I know Jesus very well. Why, heck, I was selling aluminum siding in Texas when He set me up wit a real nice church. I bet you I had lot’sa people coming to see me ‘cause I told them how much Jesus wanted to bless’ em. All they had to do was pay for the privilege.”
“I don’t think I know you,” Jesus said.
“What? You should. Everyone else does! Why I quoted you all the time. Let’s see: Oh yeah, the parable of the talents. Seed faith, I called it! I based my sermons on giving to God and getting 10, 30, 100-fold back. I spoke the word of faith, cast out demons, healed people, all in your name. Surely you know me.”
“No. I never knew you.”
“All these things I did, I did them in your name.”
“I never knew you.”
“If you don’t know me, you just weren’t watching much TV, or didn’t have cable.”
”So, Robert, you don’t have anything to ask forgiveness for from Jesus?” Father Luv asked.
“I’m sorry I got caught-“
“Leave,” said Jesus.
“Why…I…REBUKE YOU, YOU FOUL MOUTH DEVIL, IN JESUS NAME! DOME SHUSI SCOBY-DU-BE SCOBY DO KAWALA BING BANG, PA JAMMA MAMMA, I FEEL THE PRESENCE OF THE LORD ALL OVER ME!”
Robert starts jerk dancing across the stage, “WOO! YESSS! I SEE SOMEONE SITTING IN A CHAIR, WATCHING RIGHT NOW. PRAISE GOD! HE-HE-HE, A 60-YEAR OLD WOMAN, OOOOHHH PRAISE GOD! SHEEEM MIE SHEEEMMMM MIE CO-CO POP DO DA DAY! GOD WANTS HER TO GO GET HER CHECK BOOK AND PLACE HER HAND ON THE TV RIGHT NOW AND—“
“LEAVE!”
“Well, that ‘s all we have time for now. I’d like to thank all my guests. This is Father Luv, tune in tomorrow for another exciting ‘Forgive or Forget Not!’”
A stagehand grabs Robert, escorts him off the platform.
“YOU FOUL DEVIL, GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME. I REBUKE YOU, YOU EVIL SPIRIT! LET GO OF MY ARM, OOOW, THAT HURTS!”
