This is Steves Story, exactly as he wrote it to me.......


My Story.

My story is one of a childhood full of emotional and verbal abuse. I have a younger brother and sister too who to a certain extent suffered the same fate, but being the eldest I got the brunt of it. This was especially true after my dad ran out on us when I was just 7. I never found out the real reason why he went but as I grew older I kind of started guessing why. Although I will never forgive him for not staying in our lives and I have not seen him since the day he left. My mother always put the blame of him leaving on me...even at that early age. Until the day I left home she was constantly telling me how useless I was, telling me how much she hated me for ruining her life, always threatening that she would put me in an orphanage. On a daily basis almost she would make me stand in the middle of the room and give me the same lecture everytime. The lecture on why I was useless, why I was to blame, why she hated me so much. I was too afraid to move a muscle or answer back, I kept this fear of her all my time at home and if I was to be honest I'm still afraid of her now, even though I haven't seen her in over 12 years. If she tired of giving these lectures she would take more direct action. I have been beaten with bamboo sticks, belts, vacuum pipes...anything she could lay her hands on. As I entered my teen years things got worse, for this is the time she started to kick me out the house to walk the streets for the night.  There was one occasion when she put a kitchen knife to my throat before booting me out for the night. I have kind of come to terms with this now. I will never forgive my mother, but I have let go. I don't miss my mother, but there have been numerous occasions when I have missed not having a mother to turn to. To this day I really do wish I had been adopted by a loving family and been given the chance to belong...but right now I concentrate on making sure that my own daughter will never doubt that her dad loves her and in return I receive the love of my daughter...and to me that is precious.

ŠAlta
March 22' 2000