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"Come on Paul," Marguerite called over her shoulder as she nearly literally bounced down the street and away from the stage door at La Comedie. Happy to be done for the week, and famished, she was looking forward to a quiet evening, beginning with a stop at a cafe with her friend Paul. "They don't stay open much past curtain, and I don't feel like a crowded bistro tonight."
Paul laughed with her and tried to keep up "I know Marguerite. I'm running as fast as I can" He shook his head and fastened his steps until he was next to her "You always like this after a performance?"
Marguerite laughed, "after a good one, yes, and before a few days off, yes as well." Marguerite came to a stop and caught her breath waiting for Paul to catch up. Excitedly she threw her arms up in the air and spun around several times, smiling and laughing. "Oh I'm glad the week is over, it's been a horrible week. I'm sure the audience didn't know most of the time but everything that could go wrong backstage did go wrong. And now, I want some bread and soup, and a mug of coffee and then to go home and sleep the week off."
Slightly panting he stood beside her and was laughing with Marguerite "Oh dear, stop spinning. You making me dizzy!" Smiled at her "and like you said the audience saw nothing of it. You were magnificent and shone as always Marguerite"
Marguerite stopped as Paul requested, still lightly panting but very happy. "Oh Paul," she said as he caught up to her, "you're are far to kind with your words."
He spoke with a warm voice whenever he talked about her and a dreamy gaze appeared in his eyes "When you stand on that stage you captivate everyone's heart and make them experience magic. But" Paul laid a hand on her back and motioned "come. If you're that hungry we should continue and then you can tell me all about your week"
Marguerite turned and began off in the direction of the cafe. "Oh, I
don't want to talk about my week, disaster after disaster it was. I'd
much rather hear about what you've been up to."
Paul rose an eyebrow "Trust me dear, you don't want to listen to me drone about all the work I've done. Nothing interesting happened, unlike with you, and I don't want to bore with it. So please tell me about the theatre" Followed her, this time managing to keep up "and I'm not kind with words Marguerite. I only tell the truth"
Marguerite blushed at yet another compliment. "But I want to hear about your work. I think what you do sounds very exciting. With all the changes and everything that's happening all around us, to me it sounds very exciting. I stand on stage and recite someone else's words night after night. It gets dull."
You couldn't be more wrong Marguerite. You bring joy to people's hearts. You make them look into themselves when you recite those words. You bring people in touch with their emotions and sometimes you even make them cry, which few people do these days. They all seem so busy with life they have and take no time to relax and enjoy a beautiful voice. In this case yours. As for me..well stand and speak or sit and listen. Hardly exciting but someone has to do it" Sighed. The reminder of the constant stress he feels during and after the meetings made him weary "but if you really want to know I'll tell you everything, alright m'dear?"
Marguerite sighed. She hadn't heard anyone speak such words about being an actor or an actress before, he made her feel a bit of regret for complaining about her profession before. But he conceded and agreed to tell her about his job, "Yes Paul, and if what I hear pleases me, I will indulge you and tell you about my awful week at the theatre." She said as she lead him inside the warm little cafe.
Paul smiled "I'll hold you to that Marguerite" Noticed a table near the window "Eum want to sit over there? or do you prefer one more private?" As he said this he pointed to a few tables that are separated from the rest
Marguerite nodded towards the table in the corner. "There's a bit of a
chill tonight, let's sit a bit further away from the door if you don't
mind." marguerite said as she stepped towards a few empty tables in the
back.
"I don't mind at all" Walked to the tables also and then pulled back a chair for her "and are you cold?" He stared at her, a bit worried she was uncomfortable...
"Oh no, I'm fine Paul, now that we're inside. There was a slight chill in the air tonight though, wouldn't you say?" Marguerite said as she sat down at the table.
"I hadn't noticed" Wanted to say just being around you warms my heart but he managed to keep it to himself. Pushed back her chair. Then took place across of her "Now before I intrigue with my work what can I get you?"
Marguerite settled in as Paul took a seat across from her. "Oh, let's see. I could use some nice soup, and maybe some bread or cheese. I was so busy I didn't eat all day and I am famished."
Laughed "I noticed. Eum are you sure that will be enough? Don't you need anything more?" Leaned on his hand and watched her, waiting for an answer...
Marguerite laughed, "Warm soup, some good food, and a good friend to share it with is all I need." she said.
Paul nodded "Alright. I'm going to be right back with your meal m'lady" He got up and walked to the counter.
Several minutes later he returned with a tray where two plates were on with bread, cheese, ham and some cold chicken. Also a bowl of soup and a bottle of Bourdeaux with two glasses. He placed the tray on the middle of the table. Then handed Marguerite her plate "I hope this is satisfactory Marguerite" He gave her a warm smile and placed the bowl of soup in front of her....
Marguerite's eyes widened as she watch Paul return with their dinner. "Goodness Paul, I said dinner, and you bring back a feast." She reached over and began to set out the various dishes on their table. She placed the two glasses out on the table, "Would you care to pour the wine?"
Bowed his head "Don't mind if I do" Paul took the bottle and opened it. Then poured Marguerite's glass first "and you said you were famished so I brought something of everything" Sat down and filled his glass now. He tried to concentrate but now and then his eyes drifted off to Marguerite's face and he nearly spilled it
"Oh, Paul," Marguerite said, drawing his attention back to the glass with was nearly full. "Are you really thirsty or planning to drown your sorrows?"
"What?" Then he noticed his glass was almost filled to the rim "Oh merde!" Lifted the bottle back with a swift moment and barely managed to prevent the red liquid from pouring all over the table cloth. He realized what he had just uttered and a nice blush formed on his cheeks "Oh dear. Forgive me Marguerite. I didn't mean to" coughed "you know" Ashamed he stared at his glass and continued answering her question "and I guess drowning my sorrows would describe it best"
"Oh," Marguerite offered, "my poor Paul, what would cause you to feel such sorrows?"
Paul lifted his eyes to meet hers slowly and sighed "A thing called The Law of the Suspect. Ever hear about it?"
Marguerite looked at him, "No but it sounds intriguing." Marguerite said as she took a sip of her wine, "Care to tell me about it?"
Paul heaved a deep sigh and leaned back in the chair. In thought he folded his arms and explained to her what it was.
"The Law of the Suspect is a new law that was introduced today at the Convention meeting. It was set up by Merlin de Thionville and although it hasn't been accepted yet it has me very worried. Because you see Marguerite this law says that anyone, man, woman or child can be subjected to domiciliary searches, imprisonment, and trial on mere suspicion. Whether it's anonymous or not. In other words they don't need proof anymore to get someone executed"
Marguerite began to eat some of her bread and soup as Paul ate. "Well, I would say that's a little extreme. I can under stand searched with suspicion, even to the point of trial, but the convention can not realistically consider imprisonment or execution without more then a few raised eyebrows."
Frowned in surprise "A little?" He shook his head and played with his bread "They can't do that Marguerite. That law means trouble and if it's accepted no one is safe. Someone can be thrown in jail because has a grudge against another man" Pushed his plate away from him "and no one raises eyebrows because they are afraid. It's a first step to destruction I say and will bring no good to France"
Marguerite began to take a bit of the warm soup Paul had given her. "Though some of it is realistic. After all, if authorities had legitimate reason to be suspicious of someone, is a search all that invasive? Imprisonment may be going a bit over the line, and anything more unthinkable, but surely if the news proposition is limited to just the first few steps it may be helpful."
His eyes wandered to the window and he stared outside from a distance "No it's not Marguerite. But without proof they shouldn't do a thing. That's my opinion. Because a search can already ruin a man's reputation in this country. All it takes is me denounce you for lets say you slap me in the face or something and your acting career is ruined. Do you think that's just?
"That's an extreme, and that's when the law goes too far, but think about a more practical use. For example, suppose it was rumored that someone was working with another country, attempting to have troops sent in for example to ravage the new and young government. Would it be unfair to perform a search of sorts in attempt to discover proof to try him or dispel such a rumor?" Marguerite asked.
Eum Marguerite that law has been passed already. You see if I hear you talk about lets say working with Austria I can denounce you. Because of my position you'd be arrested immediately. That is already acceptable but with this law goes further. With this they don't need an explanation. All I say or write down on a piece of paper ,so they don't know who it's from, that you're a traitor. I denounce you and they'd arrest you too. Lock you up in a cell and because too many people get arrested you'll probably never see the inside of courtroom. Since looking in on all the denunciations is too much work and a waste of time. They think a denunciation equals guilt and you m'dear will be executed at once. Because the citoyens love the sight of blood. Even if there is a chance it's innocent blood which they really don't think about"
"Well," Marguerite said, in between bites of meat. "the extremities of the law are its greatest faults, as I said before. If a government wishes to make such arrests, it must be willing to follow through offering all of its citoyens due process of law. If it wishes to weed out those plotting its downfall, it must be willing to put forth the effort to protect the innocent."
Paul nodded as he reached for his glass "I couldn't agree with you more Marguerite but will you be the one who'll tell this to our leader? Will you tell this to Robespierre?
"The people will tell Robespierre, and Danton, and Marat, and all the
rest." Marguerite said, "The people are those that will rule this
country, and in the end, it is the tyrant that will pay the price for
their vices."
"The people Marguerite are too afraid to show their leaders the right path. They stand on the side and wait and wait but the worst part is that none of them find anything wrong with this law. So they don't even care. They think it'll never hurt them so they don't get involved and hope this'll get more traitors to our lady of justice" Finished his glass in one draught and filled it again "No one does anything either out of fear or ignorance or indifference. And that's why this is doomed to fail."
"The people will only live in fear for so long though Paul. Once they realize the injustice, now that they know they do have to power to make changes, they will fight for what is right. And how do you know they won't react. Didn't you say the law is new, even I was not familiar with it. Once the people hear of and understand it, if it has the dangerous effects you predict it will, the people will want change."
He heaved a long sigh "I wish I had your optimism m'dear but unfortunately from the reactions at the meetings I see that any law that improves the arrests and executions of traitors is easily accepted. Even without questioning they sign the paper and pass the law. For dare to question a law which Robespierre himself sees as a benefit for France equals treason. I hoped that you'd know that by now Marguerite."
"I do realize that Paul, but neither the convention nor the committee can silence the whole of France. The people will rise again until they see the laws as just." Marguerite said, giving Paul a soft smile, "And don't give me those sighs either. You should better by now, dinner with me is an invitation for political debate."
He shook his head repeatedly "They don't need to silence them Marguerite. The people see nothing with the laws. And by the time they'll see we are going in the complete direction it'll be too late and too many innocents will have lost their lives. For what? Simply because they..." He remembered who he was speaking and to prevent him from getting denounced himself he stopped and took a sip of wine "As for the political debate Marguerite. I'd rather not. I have that every day of week from 8 'till I go home. So please, not now. I beg you"
"Well, it seems that you have missed my point. the law may be helpful in minor instances, but taken to extremes this law, or any law fro that matter may become dangerous." Marguerite said, offering a sympathetic smile. "But if you wish we can change the subject."
Slowly he rubbed his forehead and took another sip from his glass "No. I didn't miss your point. I understand what you say but this law is taken to that extreme and I doubt Merlin will change it" Moved his chair closer to the table and he started to eat "but lets change the subject to your work Marguerite" Took a bite from his sandwich....
Marguerite smiled and rested her head on her hand. "I had the most awful week at the theatre. Anything that could have gone wrong, did go wrong, and anything that couldn't have gone wrong, did go wrong."
Rose his eyebrows and continued eating "For example?" Curious he looked at her but also some amusement was in his eyes
"Oh, where to begin. Just tonight, two of my costumes ripped, one while I was on stage. My wig nearly fell off during the second act. I couldn't reach the high note in my first solo. A chair that was supposed to be moved in between scenes was supposed to be moved and wasn't so I near tripped over it. Must I go on?"
Paul had a broad smile set on his face and sparkles of enjoyment were in his eyes "Oh please do"
Marguerite gave Paul an odd smile, "You enjoy tormenting me don't you Paul. You're finding real enjoyment in my troubles at the theatre aren't you?"
He snickered "Well I find them rather amusing but I don't enjoy your troubles Marguerite but some images just flashed through my head and eum..." muffled a chuckle "They are eum.." Paul thought carefully about his choice of words "funny" Nodded happily "Yes. That's it. It's funny"
"Oh really Paul?" Marguerite said with raised eyebrows, "And what sort of images would those be?"
Paul quickly casted his eyes down "Just random images of no importance and meaning Marguerite"
Marguerite giggled, "Now you don't honestly expect me to let the issue rest at that. I give in and tell you about my awful week and you dare to tease me with secrets and not share them. How foul."
Glared at her while keeping his head bowed "I secretly hoped you would Marguerite and yes. I know it's foul but you honestly do not want to know what I'm thinking right now. So next issue please" Coughed and quickly took the menu and hid behind it....
"Oh no my dear Paul, you of all people should know how I hate being teased. And after this trying week you use it to torment me? Why, I ought to just get up and walk myself right home for letting you treat me like this. it's really not fair to taunt a woman with secret thoughts and such." Marguerite said with a teasing tone, but in truth she did hate being teased so, and he knew it.
When she said the word leave he dared to lower the menu and with worried eyes he peeked at her "I'm sorry Marguerite" Laid the menu down on the table and with true shame filling his eyes he looked in her eyes "I didn't mean to torment you m'dear. I wasn't thinking but i..if you want to go home I'll understand"
"Paul," Marguerite said concerned, "why are you doing this? I asked you a question, why are you avoiding me so?"
He sighed and moved closer to her "Because I am afraid Marguerite. I'm afraid to let you see in my heart for I fear it might scare you and ruin our friendship"
Marguerite laughed, "How could tales of my awful week cause such awful thoughts about me that you'd fear it would ruin our friendship? Paul, I think you take too many things to the extremes, now tell me, what's really on your mind."
Seriously he looked at her and reached over the table for her hand. When he felt her skin against his he wrapped both his hands around hers and took a deep breath "You are Marguerite" Sighed "You see the moment I saw on stage I felt strange. I had this urge to keep watching for the feelings you brought to live in my heart were so wonderful I wanted to feel that way forever. It was like a dream. One I didn't want to end. Then later I really met you. I spoke to you and those feelings have only gotten stronger and deeper but you were with Citoyen Chauvelin and I was afraid. Afraid to let you know because of that man. Still it raged me, it filled my heart with utter jealousy to see you with him and most of all it hurt me because I wished I was him" He covered his mouth with a hand for a second or two while he took a breath of air before continuing "Do you understand? I envied the man I hate with the worst hate possible. I envied Chauvelin because you loved him the way I wanted you to love me" When he had spoken these words he diverted his eyes and looked out the window "I love you Marguerite. I always have from the moment my eyes saw you" He casted his eyes down slowly and waited for whatever was to come but in his mind he thought of nothing good...
Marguerite gasped and let her mouth drop as he spoke these words. Her whole body trembled as he confessed his love for her. She felt the hand he was holding go limp and drop from his grasp. Speechless, she turned her head away and took in a few deep breaths trying to take it all in. "Paul, why, why didn't you tell me this before? I ended my relationship with Armand months ago, why didn't you say anything sooner?"
When he felt her hand slip away he feared the worst. That feeling only grew when she diverted her eyes "Because of habit Marguerite. I've been hiding it for so long it just became normal, I guess and like I said before fear"
"But why were you so afraid Paul? Were you afraid I'd suddenly have
nothing to do with you because of your deep feelings? Did you really I
think I could be so cruel to do something so uncaring that you hid your
feelings from me?" Marguerite said with a trembling voice.
He shielded his eyes from her with trembling hands "No Marguerite. It was not you. My fear was caused many things. My pride, the fact that you were with Citoyen Chauvelin when a first met you, the fact that you're just too good for me and my work. But it was never you I was afraid off. You must believe that Marguerite" Repeated his words to emphasize it "It was never you"
Marguerite could see how he trembled as he spoke to her. in a small effort to calm him, she gently lifted one hand and pulled his hand away from his face, letting him know he didn't need to hide from her. "Then still why would you wait so long. If I was too good for your work would I both to inquire about it, I feel it is much worthier then acting in many senses. And I ended my relationship with Armand months ago, why didn't you say anything then?"
When she removed his hand from before his eyes he lifted his eyes and looked straight in hers. His face had a sad expression and after a few seconds he already diverted his gaze again but he didn't pull back his hand. He just gently stroked it with his thumb while he continued explaining it to her "N..no Marguerite. You understood me wrong. I meant that I never thought I had a chance with you because you're too good for me. And I also meant my work prevented me from expressing my love to you because I didn't want to bring you in danger" At her last question he shrugged. Paul didn't know and therefore he didn't answer...
Marguerite listened in silence as Paul spoke. She wasn't troubled by his words, in fact she was shocked and even flattered. Yet, why wouldn't he look at her. She gently squeezed the hand that held hers while lifting her other hand to brush his cheek to get him to turn his head. "Paul, why won't you look at me?"
When he felt her touch he let it guide him and eventually he stared in her eyes but this time he didn't look away "Because I'm afraid to see the rejection in your eyes Marguerite"
Marguerite watched as he turned his head an answered her. She took in
short breath, "Do you see rejection in my eyes Paul?"
He swallowed and took a tighter hold of her hand "I..I don't know what I see Marguerite" Leaned over the table and stroked her cheek "but it's not rejection or anger. Which is good, I..I think"
"You see shock Paul, surprise, but not rejection." Marguerite said softly, "Are you really that afraid that I would become so offended by such deep feelings that I would push you away, give up our friendship which I cherish deeply?"
If you had told you Marguerite our friendship would never be the same again. Especially if you rejected my love. Now I know I would understand that you don't cherish the same feelings for me as I do for you but it would be unbearable for me. And my pride, which would be seriously damaged would not allow me to be in your presence without feeling the pain of that rejection. In other words I'd never be able to be around you again like I am now. It would be too awkward. So I just didn't tell you because the scenario as I described before is one I don't want to experience" Sighed "Maybe it was foolish and maybe my fear was unjust but I didn't want to take that chance and lose you m'dear"
Marguerite placed her other hand over his again as he spoke to her. "Paul, it would take something truly awful for me to want to give up my friendship with you." she said. While calming her fears she knew she was avoiding a question she was dreading getting from Paul.
Marguerite I love you and I value the bond between us but it would be a true emotional torment for my soul to be around you, while you knew my heart aches for you every day more, and yet not return that feeling of longing. So it would be impossible to keep this friendship as solid as it is now. So forgive me for this bolt question but do you love me Marguerite? Love me the way I love you?" He took a moment "Do you think of me, dream of me everyday like I do about you? Please Marguerite I need to know. Then I'll leave you alone" His entire heart hoped for a simple yes but his mind said him it was a non and he hung his head, closing his eyes while he waited for her answer. An answer which he waited for the moment they had met and one that would alter his life, either for the good or worse, forever...
Marguerite closed her eyes. "Paul, you are one of my dearest, and closest friends, but no, I'm afraid I don't have the same feelings for you as you do for me." She opened her eyes and gently touched his cheek with the back of a few of her fingers, "I guess since I was with Armand when we met and we became such good friends while I was still with him, I let our friendship develop as a friendship, but that won't prevent me from possibly growing to love you."
He expected this answer and yet it brought him more pain than anything in this world could. He felt horrible and his worst dream came through. Paul quickly pulled back his hand. He had listened to her but after the clear word no he saw his world crumble before him and to hear it over and over again in his head like a bad record was killing him slowly. Paul opened his eyes and stared at her. He managed to keep his composure and not break down in tears while he was looking at the beautiful face of the woman he loved more than life itself but it was hard. He swallowed and rubbed his eyes when he felt tears welling and as he removed his hands he saw her reach out. Paul pulled back his head. He didn't want to feel her touch because he knew it'd burn like hell. Then he got up and bowed his head "If you'll excuse me now Marguerite. I got my answer and as I promised I'll leave you alone now" His voice shook from the tears that were imminent and then he walked passed her with downcast eyes....
Marguerite watched in shock as he stood up. "Paul, Paul come back here." she called with an almost demanding tone in her voice. She stood and chased after him, catching him as they stepped out of the cafe. "Is this how it would be, you pulling away, hiding your feelings from me all the time? I knew that would upset you, but would you rather I have lied and said I loved you if I didn't? I said I could grow to love you, doesn't that mean anything to you?"
Surprised he turned to her. Had he heard that wrong before? She clearly said no but he did hear some blurred words after that. He sighed, realizing he overreacted and only heard what he wanted to hear. With a sheepish smile he took her hands and kissed them "I'm sorry Marguerite. I must've heard you wrong" Stroked her cheek and moved to her hair "and hearing you say there is a chance means the world to me" Slowly he leaned closer. Then kissed her lips passionately "I also promise no more hiding. From now on I'll let you know exactly how I feel. As long as you do that too. Agreed Marguerite?" The tears in his eyes now I have made room for sparkles of love and hope when he stared at her....
Marguerite smiled as he turned to her, gently kissing her hands. She held still as he brought one hand up to her cheek and tenderly touched her hair, but her mood changed as his hands moved lower. She tried to pull away a bit, but she didn't have a chance. She felt his arms close around her body and tightly pull her closer to him as he pushed his lips over hers, forcing her tense lips to part and let his warm tongue to brush against them and gently explore her own mouth.
As he pulled away she lowered her eyes just a bit, but looked at his face, just not directly into his eyes. She concentrated on his cheeks as she listened to him speak, nodding her head in agreement, until she noticed a single tear drop down his cheek. She raised one hand and brushed it away as she nodded and whispered, "No lies, and no secrets."
He took hold of the hand that brushed his cheek and held it in his after kissing the palm "Thank you Marguerite. Thank you for giving this old, fool a chance" Lowered her hand but didn't let go of it "Now where should we go dear? Anywhere particular?"
Marguerite squeezed his hand when she heard the chimes of a nearby clock. "She counted the chimes so she knew the hour. I didn't realize we had been out so late. I told Armand I wouldn't be so late tonight, I don't want him to worry. Would you care to escort a young lady home?"
He bowed his head "I'd be my pleasure..m'lady" Smiled and offered his arm "You prefer a walk or by carriage?"
"It's not so far Paul." Marguerite said with a slight shiver, "I think I can manage the short walk."
Paul frowned "You cold?" He didn't wait for answer and took of his coat. Then laid it over her shoulders "I hope this'll keep you warm" Wrapped an arm around her waist and quickly lead her home so she wasn't in the cold too long...
Marguerite smiled as he placed his coat over her shoulders. She really didn't need it but enjoyed the gesture anyway. He led her along with an arm around her at a quickened pace, "What's your hurry Paul? So ready to be rid of me already?"
Not expecting that question he stopped and stared in those beautiful eyes that enchanted him "Rid of you?" He laughed slightly "but of course not Marguerite. I'd spend the rest of my life with you but I thought you were cold and wanted to go to the warmth of your house quickly"
Marguerite laughed "I would enjoy the warmth of my flat yes, but there's no need to run me home."
"Oh" He looked down sheepishly again "Hmm I think you're right. I do prefer a lovely stroll under the stars with you anyway Marguerite" Offered his arm "Shall we continue then on a more slow pace?"
Marguerite smiled and took Paul's arm as they slowed to a more normal pace of walking. Stepping silently along, she rested her head gently against his shoulder and gave a soft sigh.
When she laid her head on his shoulder a smile curled on Paul's lip. To be close to her made him feel great and he slightly turned his head to take this image up in his mind. He lifted his hand and brushed her cheek "Still thinking of your awful week?"
Marguerite smiled as he brushed her cheek. "No, not for my awful week, rather looking ahead to better times."
Paul looked back in front of him and turned the corner "Hmm, better times and busy times for me love" Sighed "All the work I have to do can't possible be fit in seven days a week" Yawned slightly but muffled it up "I need an extra one to get it all done in time"
Marguerite laughed a bit, but then sighed, "Does this mean you won't be at my salon this week?"
Thought about that question and shook his head "No. I'll be there if you need me. I mean do you have anything special planned that maybe needs my input or presence?"
"Well," Marguerite said, "I'll be there, isn't that special enough reason for you to come?"
Paul grinned "That's the only reason I need to be there Marguerite but I doubt it'll suffice for Robespierre" He sighed, regretting his busy workweek...
"Oh," Marguerite began to pout. "You can't leave for one afternoon? even Robespierre is rumored to have inquired about what happens at my salon. Is it important for the convention to know what the people are saying, what they think? Surely that would be a reasonable excuse to leave the office for a few hours."
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