The St. Just Salon

Marguerite was taking away from her discussion a some speeches made at a rally yesterday by a loud knock on the door. She looked around and most everyone she expected to attend the salon that day had already arrived so she pondered who it could be. Opening the door, Marguerite was happy to see her friend Martin there with a stranger she didn't know. "Oh come in Martin come in. I'm so glad you came, and before the rains came."

*Martin stared at the sky and at seeing the darkening clouds a smile curled upon his lips as he turned back to Marguerite* Bonjour Marguerite and yes. We were very lucky. Especially since I was lost again *chuckled and then introduced Paul* Marguerite this is a good friend of mine, Citoyen Deputy Paul Déroulède *Paul was scanning the room and looked the woman over attentively. He had no idea where he was and felt a bit uneasy but when he heard his name he shifted his head and stared her straight in the eyes. A warm glow in his and a friendly smile on his lips* Paul this is Citoyenne Marguerite Saint-Just. Owner of this wonderful salon *When Paul heard that he glared briefly at Martin from the corner of his eyes. Then he bowed deeply to Margot* Bonjour Citoyenne St-Just *Gently took her hand and kissed her fingertips gracefully. He also made a note to have a talk with Martin about this later* and a pleasure to meet you *Slowly lifted himself but he didn't notice he was staring and still had her hand in his. Martin did notice this and he laughed quietly....*

Marguerite had a feeling the other man was a bit uneasy, but very tender as he kissed her hand. "Well, Citizen Deroulde, I'm so glad you could come. Please, both of you, come in, come in, there's a nice crowd today, we were discussing some of the events of the rally yesterday. Where either of you there?"

*Paul smiled and when he saw that he still had her hand in his he lowered his gaze while a blush appeared on his cheeks* Well Citoyenne it's nice to be here *looked around the room again* Even though I don't know exactly where I am *Patted Martin on his back* That is something he forgot to tell me *Gazes accusingly at Martin. Then he continues* As for the rally. Yes I was there *Martin interjected *Yeah. You see m'dear Paul is always there. Any rally, any speeches, any meeting. It doesn't matter, you'll find him there. The man has no personal life *Paul nudged Martin and in a whisper* Shut up man *Turned to Marguerite* and like I said before I was rudely interrupted I was there from the beginning to the end *Martin rubbed his shoulder as he pulled a face at Paul. Then he smiled apologetically at him* Sorry *smiled at Margot* So who's all here? Anyone I know?

"If you attend all the events as Martin says I'm sure you'll find someone you know. I believe they were discussing Citoyen Lafayette's speech. I, unfortunately, was unable to hear it because I had to get the theatre, although from the praise everyone else has been giving him, I wish I had stayed. Did you happen to hear him speak?"

*Paul nodded* I heard him speak Citoyenne but it was not really as good as everyone claimed. For me it lacked inspiration and he only said what others have said over and over again. Although here and there he added some interesting things. Things that put a man's mind to work. Although I thought I came here to relax. Not to discuss politics *added quickly* Not that I mind but Martin didn't mention much about where he was taking me. hé Martin? *Patted Martin on the back. Martin shrugged* Yes well Paul eum I need to mingle now. So if you both excuse me *Bowed his head and left Paul and Marguerite alone....*

"Well, I'm sorry that you're disappointed." Marguerite said as Martin left to speak to some other people. "Of course if you don't wish to stay, don't feel as if you have to, or if there is some other topic of interest, I don't limit the discussion to politics."

Ah Mademoiselle *Quickly corrected himself* I..eum..I mean Citoyenne I'm not disappointed at all *Paul smiled warmly at her* On the contrary I am very pleased with what I see and find here. So I have absolutely no intention to leave *swallowed as he's still a bit uneasy* but I do wish to speak about something else than politics *Paul stared straight in her beautiful eyes as he continued* Like you for example. You seem like a fascinating woman Citoyenne and I am quite interested in knowing how you got involved in the game of politics.

Marguerite blushed as he stared into her eyes. "Well, why shouldn't I be involved in politics?" she said as she lead him to a set of unoccupied arm chairs in the corner. "There are important things happening in our world right now Citoyen, and everyone, man or woman, should be informed of what is happening in our beloved county. Please have a set." she said as she sat down.

*Paul bowed his head in acknowledgement* Merci Citoyenne *Then he sat down and leaned back in the comfortable chair before explaining the need for his question* Please don't get me wrong. It was just my curiosity that lead me to ask this question Mlle. Personally I find nothing wrong with having a woman stand up for herself and speak her mind but not many listen to a woman's opinion. So why do you bother getting involved in the game when you're not allowed to play?

"Just because I am a woman does not mean I am not allowed to play the game, it means I have to work a little harder to convince the men that they want to let me in. As you can see from the company I keep, I have been well received into this group." Marguerite said as she motioned to the assortment of people gathered in her flat. "Deputies such as yourself, members of the committee of public safety, philosophers, educators, and other enlightened members of society frequently attend the gatherings here. He has never attended but it has been said that even Citoyen Robespierre himself has inquired about discussions that have taken place here."

*Paul looked around and he had to admit that he was quite surprised when he saw who was all there* I am quite impressed Mlle but how do you know that these people take your opinions serious? How do you know that they take heed of what you say instead of ignoring it.

"My dear Cityone, if they did not care to for my opinions, why some spend countless hours arguing against my opinions while others spend countless hours arguing with me for my opinions?"

And as far as Robespierre goes..*sighed* well I wouldn't take that exactly as a compliment dear *Paul smiled and looked around for something to drink....*

"Although I do not agree with all of his ideas and action, I do admire the man for his accomplishments, to come from such humble beginnings, to earn an education through scholarship, to work for the rights of the people. After all, one can not deny he is a powerful man, and I think it is a great compliment that he would inquire about the events that take place in my flat."

*He grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses. Then placed one in front of Marguerite and started to open the bottle* Please forgive me Mlle for I have a feeling I may have offended you with my questions but like I said before. I have never been here. So this is a complete new experience for me. I did however hear wonderful things about your salon and about you for that matter. Although someone did forget to mention that you are also the owner of this place. Something that to me seems awkward but it's nice for chance to hear the views of a woman who is quick with the tongue and has good senses when it comes to politics. It's a novelty but interesting nonetheless and I am curious to know your point of views in today's topics of discussion and you are right about one thing. To have Citoyen Robespierre himself inquire to your activities is an honor. Especially if he values your opinion and he does. From what I've heard that is *held the bottle in front of her* May I offer you a drink Mlle?

"Why thank you, I would like a drink. As for offending me, don't worry, for one to be involved in such political debates and discussion, one must be able to separate questions and arguments from personal attacks. Although, may I inquire about the things you have heard about me?"

*As he filled her glass he kept one eye fixed on her* Of course you may Mlle *Paul rubbed his forehead* It is all good though *Smiled and handed her the glass of wine. Then he filled his and spoke further* I have heard and also seen that you are a marvelous actress. One of the prominent ones of Paris these days. I hear wonderful reviews of your performances. With that you are also very clever. You know how to entertain people with your thoughts. You give them food for thought and challenge them into debates which you hardly ever lose. You are a woman of the world who has taken a place amongst today's society and who has and probably will succeed in everything she has and will do *Paul took his glass and leaned back in the chair. Then he folded his legs and watched her attentively* Want me to continue Mlle?

"I've never been one to turn down compliments, however, such things about my opinions then why did you challenge me acting as if you were ignorant of myself and of my salon?" Marguerite asked as she took a sip of the wine.

Against I must ask for your forgiveness because I have been testing you *shrugged* Just a minor test to see if your reputation is just and if you truly are as remarkable as I've heard. And most of all if you are worthy of the position which you might soon fulfill *Took a small sip while he glanced at what Martin was doing....*

"A position which I might soon fulfill?" Marguerite raised an eyebrow at the proposition. "And what sort of position am I supposedly up for?"

*With a snap of the head Paul looked back at the beautiful Lady in front of him. Then he frowned and rubbed his chin. He was wondering if it was proper to let her in on the rumors that were being whispered behind her and Chauvelin's back about their relationship. Something everyone in France knew off. Especially those that have relations to the government. Paul thought about it for a while in silence. Then he came to the conclusion that nothing would be wrong and he answered her question but he chose his words carefully* The position of Ambassador's wife Citoyenne *waited before explaining or continuing....*

"So I see." Marguerite dropped her eyes shamefully, "You had no intentions of coming here to join in the discussions, but to test me, and not to test me as a person, as a revolutionary, as a daughter of France, but as a future wife. Well, I will tell you Citoyen Deroulede, I have no intention of becoming a wife and chaining myself to a man. I am a woman of my own needs and have no need to forever bind myself to a husband. Now, if you will excuse me, I have little doubt that elsewhere in my flat there is a discussion worth of my input."

*Déroulède was smiling at first but when he heard Marguerite speak his featured quickly changed and a shameful, guilty shine appeared in his eyes while the smile quickly disappeared. He shouldn't have told her. Not so bluntly anyway. Paul chided himself for his disrespect for this wonderful woman and he felt like scum. He had offended her terribly and by looking in her eyes, which he hardly dared to do, he saw that it was so. He offended someone he admired and quickly he rose to his feet, trying to salvage the situation. Paul swallowed and bowed his head deeply. Then he kept his gaze lowered for his shame was too grand to allow him to look at her* I must humbly beg for your pardon Mlle. It appears that the fool that I am has offended you, again. A lot worse than the first time I'm sure *He coughed to clear his throat* which I promise you was not my intention. Although I do have to tell you that that is not the reason why I am here. As I told you before I had no idea I would find Marguerite St-Just here. Martin took me to this salon without giving much information. Still it is no excuse but I have to be honest and say that I am here talking to you not to test you as a wife but because I admire you from the depth of my heart. You see I know a lot about you. I have been following your career and saw you last in The Marriage of Figaro and was enthralled by your performance. I know from people I've spoken to who know you that you are an amazing woman and I was just wondering why you would be with someone as Citoyen Chauvelin. But I think that question is out of line as well and I'll leave you alone now *Lifted his eyes and stared in hers briefly* I am sorry for bothering you and insulting you Mlle St-Just *Paul placed the glass on the table and walked passed her. Then he stopped briskly and without facing her he spoke again* Could you please let Martin know I have gone home. Thank you Mlle. Now if you'll excuse me *continued on his way to the door.....*

Marguerite rolled her eyes in a frustrated sigh and went after him before he could go. "Please, Citoyen Deroulede, do not feel as though you have to leave. As I eluded to before, all sorts of people interested in enlightened discussion are welcomed. However, I will make the simple request that my personal life remain off limits."

*Paul turned and bowed his head in agreement as he closed his eyes* As you wish Mlle St-Just *sighed* and I know I was out of line but you have just discovered one of my flaws* He laughed slightly* You see I intend to say the wrong things then to my shame realize later what an idiot I was for saying them but if you wish to endure my company for a while longer it would be rude to decline *He smiled slightly, trying to look cool but inertly he was angry at himself for this huge error on his behalf..*

Marguerite led the way back inside. "I endure the company of many others that have committed great offenses. Perhaps worst of all the fact they do not recognize their offenses. Please come back and stay for a while."

*Even though she had accepted his apology his heart was still filled with shame and it wouldn't allow him to look her in the eye. So he walked passed her with lowered head and downcast eyes* Only for a while Citoyenne. For I don't wish to offend you again *swallowed and walked back to the table....*

Marguerite followed and retook her seat, "Don't discuss my private life, and there is little chance of that happening. So tell me Citoyen, how did you come to take such an interest in the revolution?"

*Paul nodded quickly as he sat down again* I promise not to Citoyenne* He retook his glass and slowly took a sip. Then he stared at the red liquid in the glass as he answered her* That is a rather long, uninteresting story Mlle. One I do not wish to bother you with but perhaps you could answer that question for yourself. Something which I am seriously convinced off is far more enjoyable to listen to *He didn't look at her as he spoke. He just kept staring at his drink but he did smile slightly....*

"Well Citoyen, I would be happy to answer the question, but you ,must remember one thing." Marguerite said with a bit of a sly smile, "I asked you first."

*Paul lifted his head quickly and after he stared at her for a second he began to laugh* Ah yes Citoyenne. I believe you are right *He took another sip. Then straightened himself in the chair and suddenly felt a lot more at ease. But he made sure he didn't do it again. For no one better than him knows this can lead to. Past experiences have taught him the hard way what mistakes and slips of the tongue like this can lead to. So he taught carefully about every word he spoke* Well eum I didn't really choose for this. To be honest it never entered my mind to get involved in politics. You see I don't know how much you know of me but some things happen and I became part of that exclusive circle of aristocrats here in Paris. I never got accepted by them though. It's kind of a time I wish to forget. Although due to certain events I have come to the conclusion that is impossible *sighed sadly as he remembered that horrible day where his clumsy attitude let to the death of a young man. Something he has regretted since the moment it happened and he swallowed to hide the pain in his eyes when the image of the young Vicomte, laying motionless on the floor entered his mind. Wrapped in his own thoughts of pain and sorrow he closed his eyes and took a deep breath* I just wanted to help people. I wanted to help the poor of France. So I excluded myself from that world and focused on those in need. The first thing I did was donating a hospital. People seemed to love that. So I just tried to help them more and then the revolution came. After that I got chosen by the people as a Deputy of the Convention and I accepted it for it was a perfect way to help built a better future for everyone here in France *Finished his glass and looked at Marguerite* And that is pretty much the story *He smiled at her*

"But why give all that up? I can understand having problems with a social group, but was that the entire reason for giving up your wealth, your position?" Marguerite inquired.

That wasn't the reason at all Mlle. I gave it all up, as you say because I had no need for it. I didn't need that position and there were a lot more people who needed that money far more than I did. So why not give it to those who have use for it? I surely didn't. I had everything I needed and am quite happier without it all *coughed silently* I just find satisfaction in helping people I guess. *Played with his glass while he spoke.....*

"That's such a wonderful thing to do." Marguerite said as she sighed, suddenly upset for her behavior before. "I must ask that you forgive me for my behavior before, I think I may have come across a bit more harsh then necessary."

*Paul smiled, a warmth filling his eyes as he watched her* You had every reason to Mlle. So there is no need for forgiveness at all. Remember that I was the fool that insulted you *let his finger glide over the rim of the glass* Now Mlle how did you get involved in politics?

"Well, all things considered, it's not really a question of how I got involved in politics, but how could I not have gotten involved. Living here, in Paris, in the center of it all, working in the theatre and seeing both the aristocrats and revolutionaries nearly everyday. Just being here it was hard not to get involved in politics."

"Hmmm" Paul frowned. Then smiled and took a another sip of the wine while his dark eyes observed and unnoticingly overlooked the beautiful woman in front of him. He didn't know why but he just couldn't keep his eyes away from her. Something enthralled him and made it impossible for him to divert his gaze so he kept it fixed on her while she spoke with that angelical voice. A voice that could hush a room, which it usually did at the theatre and he admired people like that. People that could get the attention and never let it falter. He sighed and stretched his legs a bit "but, and please don't get me wrong, but you are a successful woman. Surely you didn't suffer like others did. Surely you didn't see the hardships of life like most citizens of Paris and of France. So why? Why get involved in a dangerous game such as politics. Especially as a woman *He hoped strongly she didn't find his words offending and he already started to lower his gaze to the floor....*

"Of course I know the hardships of life. I am able to live a comfortable life now, but it hasn't always been that way. My parents were poor and died before I was twelve, leaving me with a little brother to raise. I've achieved on stage as much has I have because I've been working there since I was twelve." Marguerite said as she took another sip of wine, watching the man as she watched her. "My brother and have seen many bad times, but we are the lucky ones. We don't suffer so much anymore."

Paul once again felt like an idiot for jumping to such conclusions and it made him realize he didn't really knew that much about her. Something he wanted to change but was it possible after everything wrong he had already said? He didn't know but he tried to mend things and slowly looked up and straight in her eyes "I see Citoyenne. I am sorry but I assumed the wrong things as usual and from what you've heard you probably see I know little about you. I only know you from the theatre and from what little things I've heard from Martin but sitting here, speaking to you makes me realizes you're a fascinating woman and have already lead quite the life. I have to say that I admire you for everything you've achieved and am glad Martin introduced us *Smiled charmingly as a light blush appeared on his cheeks....*

Marguerite smiled back at him. "Well Citoyen, I'm glad that Martin brought you along this afternoon, and don't worry, many people assume much worst things about me. Even what you eluded to before is just the tip of the iceberg."

When she flashed that smile Paul felt a sudden warmth and he swallowed. Once again he felt like a schoolboy and a bit shy he lowered his gaze. Déroulède sighed, feeling somewhat stupid because of the way he's acting but he couldn't help it. He has always had trouble with his emotions, had trouble hiding them and it has caused him problems in the past so he hoped it wouldn't cause him any this time. Still he kept his gaze from her since she was with Chauvelin and if he would find out about what feelings Paul has it could cause him his head some day. So he decided to not let her know or see* All lies, I'm sure Citoyenne *smiled* and thank you. I am glad my presence didn't upset you too much and this is turning in a rather pleasant conversation *Leaned back and tried to look at anything but her*

"The worst of them at least are." Marguerite said as she smiled, but something seemed to be bothering him. "Citoyen Deroulede, are you well? I have the feeling you are feeling a bit uneasy."

*Paul quickly turned back to her and shook his head repeatedly "No, no..eum I'm fine" coughed "It's just a bit hot here" Nervously he pulled on the collar of his shirt, untying his cravat a bit "Else I'm fine but thank you for asking *crossed his legs and tried to keep a normal, less nervous composure but his eyes wandered around the room....*

"Oh, with all the people here it is a bit stuffy." Marguerite said as she stood up. She left Paul for a moment to open a near by window. Upon returning to him, she commented, "I just hope the rains don't blow in if it begins to storm."

Paul smiled again and followed her attentively with his eyes when she got to open a window. As she returned he still had his eyes fixed on her "Surely it wouldn't storm. I still have a long walk home and could do without a wet suit" sighed and shrugged "Well I guess we'll soon find out if it'll storm" pointed to the dark sky and shook his head "It doesn't look promising though" chuckled slightly. Then Paul changed the subject back to what, at this point, caught his interest the most...Citoyenne Saint-Just instead of the weather which he could care less about "So Citoyenne may I ask how you got involved in theatre?

"Well, after my parents died, I was forced to find work. I began at the Comedie doing things with the props and cleaning the auditorium. I used to watch the rehearsals, and that's how I learned about acting, just by observing everyone else." Marguerite said.

Hmm *Paul looked down in thought for a moment. Then he lifted his head and stared in her eyes* So it wasn't a childhood dream or was it?

Marguerite sighed, "No, it wasn't. I don't remember having any such childhood dreams. Any I had disappeared when my father died."

"That is a shame Mlle but surely you did. Every child has dreams" A deep sigh escaped from his lips "but most don't come true, unfortunately" He cast his eyes down "and my condolences for the loss of your father *Paul stared at her, then closed his eyes and bowed his head at her "I know it is terrible to lose a parent at such young age *He smiled sadly as some unhappy memories return to his mind.....*

"I lost both my parents at a young age. Since then my only dream was to survive, to be the mother to my brother, to see him have the things my parents couldn't provide for us." Marguerite said.

Raised his eyebrows "Your brother?" sighed "I see. Yes...well then that must've and probably still is hard for you Mademoiselle and I feel for you *swallowed and took another small sip but then he stopped. Paul felt that he was reaching his limit and there was no need for him to get drunk in her presence. So he placed the glass on the table and shifted a bit in the chair until he was seated more comfortable "I also have to express my admiration for you Mademoiselle. You truly are amazing"

Marguerite blushed, "Please, thank you, but I am far from amazing. I did what needed to be done, but I was one of the lucky ones. Many things that weren't guaranteed worked in favor of my brother and myself, the jobs, my brother's scholarship, even meeting Armand Chauvelin, chance and luck were very good to myself and my brother."

He nodded and lowered his gaze "You're right Mademoiselle. Amazing doesn't even come close to describing you" Now he blushed himself when he realized what he was doing. He coughed, looked down even more and felt quite embarrassed but it quickly got mixed with another emotion. An emotion that took over his senses at this moment and it was hatred. A strong hatred with a hint of despisement filled his entire heart and soul when he heard that name...Armand Chauvelin. A name that Paul knew well and one he held personally responsible for all the wrong that has begun to happen in the revolution and in France. The thought alone already made him clench his fist and he tried to keep his calm. No Armand Chauvelin was definitely not his favorite person and then to see that the most cleverest woman of Europe fell in love with such monster is beyond him. He shrugged at himself when that question entered his mind, trying to get it out of his mind before she notices the change in his behaviour.....*

Marguerite sensed something was wrong. "Are you alright, Paul? You suddenly seem a bit tense." Marguerite kept a careful eye on his now closed fist and dropped eyes.

Paul was disturbed in his train of thoughts and he jerked up his head. A somewhat cold expression was on his face while he stares in her eyes. Then he noticed the way she looked at him and his eyes followed to where she was staring. He also noticed his clenched fist and after shifting uncomfortably he stretched his fingers and pretended he was ok. Although he still felt hatred "Hmm..Oh no Mademoiselle. I am perfectly fine" Waved his hand a bit in front of him, gesturing that he was gone for a moment "I..eum was just thinking about something. Nothing important though" Suddenly he felt the need for some lovely wine to calm his senses and he reached for the glass and in one sip he emptied it. Then he heaved a deep sigh and refilled his glass quickly for another sip.....*

Marguerite nodded, "It seems you are rather fond of that type of wine Citoyen." Marguerite noted as he took another drink. "don't worry, you still seem in control of yourself," she said before lowering her voice to a whisper, "which more then I can say for some others here."

Held the glass in front of him and stared with longing in his eyes at the red liquid "Hmm, yes. Wine can be very soothing" Chuckled lightly when he noticed some of the others, laying in the chairs. Including Martin who has had a bit too much to drink "and it is a good companion at times Marguerite" Forgot to call her Mademoiselle but he's not quite there and yet he is. Wine has always had that affect on him and he had to be honest and couldn't deny that he has a certain fondness for it. It always made him more relaxed. In fact it was the only thing that relaxed him when he was all tensed up. A bad habit he kept from when he had that unfortunate accident back when Paris was still ruled by aristocracy. Back when he was part of that by name but never really fitted in. Not because of him but because the others, the Counts, Vicomts and other blue blood looked down on him. He kept staring at his full glass while he thought of that time. A time which was very lonely, dark for him and in a way his life still is. He's well known now, talks to a lot of people but true friends is something that was missing in his life and as he kept thinking of that a sadness, a loneliness filled his eyes and he's forgotten that the woman is still staring at him....

Marguerite noticed a sudden change in him. "Paul, are you alright?" she Asked, trying to rouse him from his lowly state.

Paul heard a voice in the distance. A voice calling his name but he didn't respond to it. He just sat there, depressed and wrapped up in his own thoughts, his own world like he has been doing a lot lately. He had moments when he just sat there motionless and didn't notice anything around him. Mostly this happened at home in his study but now it also happened in public places. Even during the meetings but he never really realized it.....*

Marguerite was suddenly concerned. She stood and stepped closer to him and placed a hand gently on his arm, slightly shaking him, "Paul? Are you feeling alright?"

Startled Paul grabbed hold of her wrist and stared in her eyes. Then he remembered where he was and who he had in his grip "Forgive me Marguerite" Quickly Déroulède let go and slowly got up with support of the chair. After that he glanced at his hostess once more apologetically before walking to the window and staring outside. He surely acted all wrong in front of this woman and he closed his eyes while the cold breeze felt good against his warm skin. ...

Marguerite gasped and tried to pulled away as he latched onto his wrist. Something had obviously disturbed him and he quickly let go and moved away. She followed him to the window, but kept a little distance this time. "Are you feeling alright Paul? Can I get you anything?"

When she spoke he didn't turn around. He just let his eyes wander over the streets as he listened to her. Then he turned around and walked past her "I think I should leave now. I am afraid I'm not such pleasant company anymore Mademoiselle. So" bowed his head "if you'll excuse me" He stared at her but didn't move anymore for he didn't really wanna go back to his lonely house....*

Marguerite watched his face with concern, "Are you sure you have to go? You suddenly seem upset, and I'd hate to have you go, alone, like this."

Paul stared at the floor, letting his eyes wander over it quickly as he considered his options. Although his choice wasn't that hard. It was either back to a lonely, dark house. So silent even the slightest noise startles him or enjoy this woman's company a moment longer. The choice was quickly made but something bothered him, his behaviour. He had been so foolish to lose control of his emotions in the presents of others and that disturb him. It disturbed him greatly. Especially since he's always been so in control and now it's like the walls close in on him and everything he once so strongly believed in is vanishing. His dream, a dream he so strongly believed in is now so out of reach and then there is the loneliness that is gnawing at him. This all troubles his soul and on top of all that the feelings this woman arouses in him doesn't make his life easier. Should he tell the truth? Hell no! It'll only get him in trouble and he could do without that. Still he had to think of something and after this quick moment of thought he lifted his head and turned to her "No Mademoiselle. I don't have to go for where should I go to? Back to my empty life" He shrugged "I just don't know what to do anymore. I once had it all. I still do and yet it's not enough. Something is missing and I don't know what to do to chance this feeling but ah.." Paul shook his head "I shouldn't bother you with my worries. I'm sure you have better things to discuss with far more interesting people. And as you've noticed I'm not the best of company right now" He scratched his head. Then runs his hand through his dark hairs as an image of his first love appears before him. A dreamy look appears on his face but he rubbed his eyes quickly to erase it for the memory is too painful and humiliating. It's over he said to himself. All over so forget it and go on with your life as it is now. He closed his eyes and stood there, not moving an inch....

Marguerite swallowed the slight lump in her throat, unsure of how to comfort the man she had just met. He seemed so distant, and in a way so lost. "I can't very well think of anything better to do when someone I know is struggling."

A small smiled crept on his face when he heard her soothing voice "You are too kind Mademoiselle to take such concern for someone you hardly know. That is quite rare in this new society we've created but it is mostly appreciated" He rubbed his hands nervously, wondering if he should tell her what's bothering him "Still I don't know if my life is such an interesting topic for conversation" He sighed slowly and almost dragging his feet he walked back to the window. Paul seemed to enjoy the cold breeze and drips of rain on his face and he leaned with both hands on the window sill so he could stick his head out more....*

"We don't have to talk about that if you don't want to." Marguerite offered. "Although I refuse to allow you to stand here like this along. And don't lean out of the window too long. I have a policy against people catching colds at my salon."

Paul chuckled lightly. She was right. It was cold outside and being sick wouldn't do anyone good. Especially not him since Robespierre has no use for Revolutionaries that can't work. So reluctantly he pulled his head back and turned on his heels so he could face her "I'm sorry Mademoiselle but these room suddenly seems so crowded for me. I promise I won't do it again" He smiled and sat back down. Then took his glass once again and stared at her "Before I bother you with my life's trials and tribulations Mademoiselle I am curious to why you care so much about strangers?" Questioningly he kept his saddened gaze fixed on her....

"Well, after all, isn't that one of the mottos of our revolution? "Brotherhood"? Watching out for a fellow countrymen and women? Why shouldn't I take care of others that need help if I am able to?"

Armand Chauvelin took advantage of the unmonitored entrance to Marguerite's salon, stepping in quickly and quietly, gently shaking the rain off of his coat and hat. After hanging them near the door to dry and making sure that he was presentable.

He shrugged "I know Mademoiselle that we based our beliefs on those three words. Brotherhood being one of them but these days none of that matters and everyone cares for themselves alone. Just look outside" He stood up again and pointed through the window "All these people, Citoyens I mean, will do anything to get in good favor with or incorruptible leader. A leader that revels in blood even if he dislikes it" He sighed "What has this country come to if no one can be trusted? I mean everyone looks over their shoulder. No one has fun in life anymore and will denounce anyone just to give Madame Guillotine food for the day. It's all gone so wrong and no one can change it" He closed his eyes. Paul knew everything he said will probably cause his head but right now life didn't seem to matter. He was so tired of all the blood and could care less. The country was going the hell anyway and the devils are in control. Heartless monsters like Robespierre, Chauvelin, Marat and a few others and he could no longer be part of it. Although he might think differently in the morning but was said was said and could not be undone. So all he could do is wait and see what her reaction will be. Only then he'll know if he can expect an early knock on his door from the Committee du Salut Public

"Well I would have to disagree with you Citoyen. Not everyone cares only for themselves, even now when I offered you some form of comfort, and yet you push me away expect that I have some ulterior motives. Yes there are problems with our government, but no government is without flaws, especially a young one." Marguerite said, trying to figure out the stranger in front of her.

Paul was surprised by her calm answer. He was expecting to be hearing the words traitor and denunciation but apparently he was wrong and his restless soul came to a peace. Suddenly it didn't matter who she was with and he decided to confide in her. Still he chose his words carefully when speaking to this woman "I apologize for my suspicious behaviour Mademoiselle but it's hard to trust someone in today's society. And then when someone trustworthy comes along, someone who does not have these ulterior motives you just spoke off. Someone like you is taken wrong. I know it shouldn't be like that but it's hard to trust someone you do not even know. Our government made sure of that. It turned everyone against everyone and the citizens look for the bad and even if it's not there they don't believe it and get rid of it. A denunciation is quickly made and it takes no effort. So they use it even if they have no justification for it. And yes, every government has it flaws but those flaws become serious problems when the leaders don't see these flaws and just let it happen" Paul gets so caught up in this conversation he doesn't really pay attention to what he's saying...

"It's not the government that makes people suspicious, in some cases they might encourage it, but a strong minded person will look first before harshly judging another." Marguerite began. "While the government may provide harsh punishments, sometimes maybe even to harsh, the majority of denunciations and penalties are just and with proof. Even Robespierre himself said he would rather a thousand guilty go free then to see one innocent die unjustly."

Paul leaned back and laid his hands in his lap while Marguerite spoke. He found her debating enjoyable and listened to her fiery words. Words that she believed very strongly in, he had no doubt about that. Then he opened his mouth ready to speak but no words came out because Paul was disturbed in his thoughts. He was disturbed because a familiar, dark clad man entered the main room and Paul knew, just by taking a glance who it was. It was Chauvelin, a man who Paul hated with every fiber in his body for he destroyed the dream he once so strongly hoped to achieve. In silence he watched his every movement but Déroulède made it look to Margot like he was thinking about his responds....

He stepped into the main room, scanning it with his eyes. He was in a fairly bright mood, a typical occurrence these days ...

As he caught sight of the woman he sought, Armand realized that she was busy, rather deep in conversation, it seemed, and with a very distressed character -- how predictable of her. How thoughtful, how wonderful. That it was normal for someone to seek out the troubled was amazing to him, he who cared on any meaningful level for no more than two or three individuals, and then lumped the rest of his affection into a fiery and yet cold sort of affection for 'the people'. Smiling, he waited for her some distance from the window.

Paul saw that Chauvelin was waiting for Margot and he had no choice but to let her know he was there. If he didn't and he wouldn't be noticed by her he'd surely come over here and make his presence noted. He coughed and reluctantly pointed in the direction of the little rat "Excuse me Mademoiselle. I am sorry to interrupt this wonderful conversation but you got company" When he spoke these words he heaved a sign and got up "So I should better be leaving now" He bowed his head and reached out for his cloak....

Marguerite turned her head to see what Paul was talking about and saw Armand had arrived. She smiled before turning back to Paul, "Oh please Citoyen, there's no need for you to go so quickly." Marguerite turned back and motioned for Armand to join them.

Glared at the figure near the window and his gaze darkened. He was anything but happy with this unexpected visit from the agent and he could do without the man's interference "You have company Mademoiselle and I don't wish to intrude" Said it with some contempt but also with sadness....

Armand stepped up to stand beside her, running one hand briefly over her shoulder in greeting before nodding to the man with whom she had been conversing. "I hope I'm not interrupting?" He smiled slightly. "I only wanted to come in from the rain, really; I know how easy it is to get drawn into a conversation with Citoyenne St. Just."

Marguerite smiled as Armand's hand caressed her shoulders, "Of course you only wanted to come in from the rain," she said with a bit of a sly smile as she dropped one hand down to brush against his. "Armand, this is Citoyen Paul Deroulede, Citoyen Deroulede, this is Citoyen Armand Chauvelin."

He growled lowly, unnoticeable to the others present, when Chauvelin's hand brushed her shoulder. He felt his blood boil and jealousy was entering his heart and filling his soul as he stared this man in the eyes. He did hide all these feelings behind a mask of indifference. Paul pretended not to care that he was there. He didn't show his hatred but he also wasn't thrilled with the interruption and this was something that Chauvelin might notice since Paul had an annoying glare in his eyes. Still he kept his manners and bowed his head quickly "Citoyen Chauvelin" Paul noticed Margot's affection and he quickly diverted his eyes from the lovebirds and finding something more interesting and less sickening to watch....

Armand nodded in return, noticing that the man in front of him was somewhat displeased with the idea of cutting his conversation short -- quite typical, he'd realized, of visitors to this particular gathering. He did not wonder whether they were only interested in her conversation. But smiling politely, as he took her hand in his, he made his apologies. "As I said, I'm sure you were discussing something ... forgive me for intruding." Armand didn't offer to add his input to their discussion, as he might have for any other that he'd stepped in upon, sure that Deroulede would make things decidedly unpleasant. "If you could just find me when you're finished, Citoyenne?"

"Oh, Armand, could you spare a moment, there's something I had wanted to discuss with you and I don't want to forget." she said briefly before turning back to Paul. "Now, don't think I'm abandoning you, I'll be back in a moment or two, and I expect you to remain here waiting for me."

He nodded to her, a charming smile on his lips but when she turned and left the smile vanished like snow for the sun. Then he reluctantly sat down. He didn't like the thought of being left standing and he grumble some choice words behind her and Chauvelin's back as he filled his glass again....

Marguerite grabbed Armand's hand and swiftly lead him through the door into the kitchen, away from the eyes of all others. Once out of sigh she wrapped one arm around his neck and pressed her lips to his. "I didn't think you were going to come today."

Armand smiled, took her hand from behind his neck and brought it to his lips. "I always show up. Who's your friend, hmm?" He indicated the room they had just left, grinning as he pulled her closer to him. "I've missed you, though. I meant to come earlier; I had a lot to write ..."

"You always mean to come earlier and you always have a lot to write." she said as Armand pulled her closer. "but I'm glad you're here now, I've missed you too lately." She leaned in and once more wrapped her arms around him.

"I as well --" Armand smiled, kissed her a little more deeply, and brushed some of her hair behind her ear. "We'll have a few less busy days soon, I hope."

"The man I was speaking to is Citoyen Paul Deroulede. He's never been here before, Martin brought him by, apparently not of his free will, but he seems to be relaxing and easing up a bit." Marguerite rubbed his shoulders a bit, "And what about you. I think you've been working too hard lately. I think a bit of liesurily activities might do you some good."

"Fresh blood, then -- he seems new, yes. Opinionated, though, he must be interesting ... an official of any sort?" He pressed his lips into her hands as she attempted to relax him. How odd, that he should miss her every day, when mere hours before he had likely said goodnight ... But such feelings had come to be common place, really, and he couldn't say that they were entirely unpleasant.

"Leisure? Yes ... debate and dinner, hmm?" Armand grinned. "Are you free?"

Marguerite gave him a bit of a coy grin. "I suppose that would due but," she paused and leaned in once more to kiss him, lowering one hand from his neck, running it over his shoulder and his chest, "I was thinking maybe some quiet time together, just the two of us."

"Wonderful." Armand smirked just slightly as he disengaged himself from her embrace. "But don't leave your friend waiting, hmm? Send him home, we'll go eat. Somewhere quiet."

"In case you didn't notice, I have a parlor room full of people. Things are winding down they'll soon be leaving and then we'll be alone." Marguerite said as she once more closed the distance between them. "I promise you it will be the worth the wait. I missed you, I missed spending time alone together."

"I know, dear." He wrapped his arms around her again, as she seemed to want, and held her a minute more. "If you like, I'll help you clean the place out. Or I could go get something to bring back; do you have any wine?"

"People were beginning to leave before you came in, shouldn't be too much longer, no doubt most have plans for the night." Marguerite said, "but I don't think I have any good wine left, why don't you go get some, and some food and I will make you dinner myself with my own two little hands."

Armand smiled, only a portion of his fatigue apparent on his face -- that sounded very nice indeed. "Of course. I'll be back soon, dear -- go tell your admirers to clear out." He smirked, bowed low enough so as to be quite amusing, and kissed her hand before he left to replace his hat and coat. Soon he was upon the street, heading for a covered alley to walk through, as it was still pouring.

Marguerite smiled and let her fingers brush his cheek as he kissed her hand. She saw him out and then rejoined Paul in the sitting room. By now only a few stragglers remained in the sitting room still lingering. "Well Citoyen, I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long."

Paul sighed and was getting tired of waiting. He looked at the room and found a few people still in the middle of a conversation but he didn't feel like mingling. He heaved another sigh and decided that he might as well get some work done instead of wasting precious time. So out of his coat pocket he took a few papers. They had notes from the morning's Convention meeting and he overlooked them. Here and there he added some things he remembered and just flipped through the pages. Then he heard a familiar voice that sounded like music to his ears and laid the papers hastily down on the table. Paul shifted his head and looked at Marguerite while getting up. Gracefully he bowed "Welcome Mademoiselle Saint-Just and no. You did not keep waiting" Smiled "but perhaps I reconsider and go"

Marguerite looked down and saw he was holding a number of papers. "Well, I suppose you have work to do, and I would feel bad if I kept you. Well, I would let you go, but only on the condition that you promise to join us again at another gathering. I feel bad for leaving you before and would like to continue our discussion."

He glared at the papers "Oh you mean this?" He laughed and shook his head "No Mademoiselle. This isn't work and I have absolutely nothing to do but I saw that you have a guest. So I'll leave you alone" Bowed deeply again and took hold of her hand. Then Paul kissed it and lifted himself and smiled "It was a pleasure meeting you Mademoiselle Saint-Just and maybe we'll meet again since I've enjoyed the discussion as much as you did but time is rare so I don't know when it'll be"

"Now now Citoyen, I will not allow you to leave without knowing when I will see you again. Most everyone is meeting here Sunday after the rally, will you join us, or can I expect to at least see you again at the rally?" Marguerite asked.

He sighed and stared at the floor in thought "Hmm I doubt it Mademoiselle. Like you said I have lots of work to do" He kept his gaze focused on the floor. He felt pain speaking these words and having to refuse to see her again but the feelings he felt around her, the emotions she brought to life scared him and it was best he didn't see her anymore....

"Really?" Marguerite said in surprise, "Martin made it sounds as though you never miss such an event." She was slightly disappointed, he seemed eager to be rid of her, "Well, I suppose I will see you again, sometime."

He cursed Martin in his head. Then looked up, his face set in a smile "I can always be reached at the Palais de Justice Mademoiselle or at my home on Rue D'Ecole du Medecine" He bowed his head "If you wish to see me I can be found there" He felt so bad acting all professional in front of her but he couldn't think of another way to deal with this....

Marguerite sadly nodded as he seemed content on leaving. "Well, sometimes I pass by the palace, now I have an excuse to stop by, perhaps watch some of the goings on at the convention first hand." She said as she lead him to the door. "But I do hope you come by again."

He noticed her sadness and he felt guilt slowly creeping up his spine. Why was he keeping up a facade? Face it. He was longing to see her again and leaving like this only hurt him more. He laughed "Well Mademoiselle the Convention is boring so if you insist I'd rather meet you here at your beautiful and cozy salon. So eum I'll be here after the rally. And you'll probably see me there too. I might even give a speech. Haven't decided that yet"

Marguerite smiled as she retrieved the coat for her guest. "Well, I am glad to hear that, I will now especially be looking forward to the event. And, for future reference, you are always welcome to come by during a gathering here. Now, I hope this will be sufficient to keep your warm and fairly dry on your way home." She paused as she looked out the window, "I don't want to keep you if you have things to attend to tonight, and the rain is letting up. Perhaps it's best you go before it becomes heavy again." she turned back to Paul to offer a final goodbye, "It was nice to meet you, Paul, and I look forward to hearing your speech and some of your views at the rally."

Paul took his coat and laughed "Well Mademoiselle I think I have a speech to prepare" He bowed his head and put on his coat as he spoke "Oh yes. If I have time you'll see me again Mademoiselle. I truly had a wonderful time here" He sighed "but alas that could take a while. Since I have a lot of work to do lately" Paul took her hand and kissed it again "but I'll try" Smiled "Au revoir Mademoiselle Saint-Just" pulled up the collar of his coat and made his way to the door....

"Good evening Paul," she called after him as he stepped out of the flat. He was the last to leave and she turned to survey the apartment. Swiftly, she began to clean up before her other guest returned.

He looked over his shoulder when she called after him and gave a quick nod with the head. Then he went home and to bed....

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