"Homecoming"
by Andra Marie Mueller
Disclaimer: Paramount is the legal owner of the characters of 'Star Trek:Voyager. I just borrow them for my own nefarious purposes and to give them real lives.
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"No."
"Captain..."
"I said no, Commander. What part of that didn't you understand?"
Standing in front of Janeway's desk inside the Ready Room, Chakotay stifled a frustrated sigh. "Kathryn, be reasonable. The crew just wants to throw you a small party to celebrate your birthday and show you how much they appreciate you."
"They already do by performing their jobs so efficiently," Janeway returned. "I appreciate the sentiment, Chakotay, but I don't want anyone making a fuss over my birthday."
Chakotay shook his head. "Fine; have it your way. No fuss."
"Thank you."
"May I at least treat you to dinner?" Chakotay requested.
Janeway permitted herself a small smile. "If I say yes, will you return to the Bridge and let me finish reading these reports?"
"Absolutely."
"Then my answer is yes."
"Good. I'll see you around eight o'clock."
Bidding Janeway farewell, Chakotay exited the Ready Room.
That evening, Janeway and Chakotay were in the Mess Hall finishing their dinner. True to his word, Chakotay had made no special effort for the evening, with the exception of the gift he had presented to Janeway: a hand-carved wooden replica of Voyager, complete with miniature windows and the ship's serial number engraved on its hull. The two were in the midst of a discussion regarding the latest personnel reports when Neelix approached their table, and placed a miniature cake in front of the captain, complete with a lighted candle.
"Happy birthday, Captain," he said cheerfully. "I know you didn't want a party, but I wanted to at least give you a cake."
Janeway smiled. "Thank you, Neelix. I appreciate your thoughtfulness."
"Make a wish," Chakotay instructed.
Janeway stared at the candle thoughtfully for a moment before making her wish and blowing out the flame.
"It's German chocolate cake, your favorite," Neelix told her. "I got the recipe from the computer."
Given the Talaxian's obvious enthusiasm for his creation, Janeway reluctantly decided to taste the cake. Gathering a small forkful, the captain placed it in her mouth and cautiously began to chew. A few seconds later her eyes widened in surprise, and she gave Neelix another smile. "It's delicious, Neelix."
"Thank you, Captain. I'm glad you like it. Enjoy your evening."
Bidding farewell to Chakotay, Neelix retreated back into the kitchen, and the XO waited until he was out of earshot before speaking. "Are you just being polite, or is the cake actually edible?" he prompted dryly.
Janeway shot him an admonishing glance. "Be nice, Chakotay," she chided.
"It was a legitimate question, Kathryn."
"Yes, the cake is edible, and it's actually quite good. Would you like to try some?"
"Why not?"
Picking up his own fork, Chakotay took a small sample, then flashed Janeway a sheepish smile. "It would seem I owe Neelix an apology. The cake is great."
"You're welcome to finish it," Janeway told him. "It's a bit rich for me."
"Watching your figure?" Chakotay prompted lightly.
"Something like that," Janeway allowed.
Chakotay nodded. "Well, since it is your birthday, why don't you finish your cake, and I'll watch your figure?"
Janeway flushed at that. "Very funny."
Their light banter was interrupted by the beep of Janeway's combadge. "Bridge to Captain Janeway."
"Janeway here."
"Captain," Harry's voice responded, "Sensors are picking up a large spacial fluctuation approximately one hundred yards off the port bow."
"Any idea what's causing it?"
"No, Ma'am."
"Bring the ship to a stop and keep monitoring it. I'm on my way."
"Aye, Captain."
"I guess that solves the cake dilemma," Chakotay replied.
"Don't sound so disappointed, Commander. Your birthday is only a couple of months away. Maybe you can persuade Neelix to bake you a cake of your own."
"Only if you promise to share it with me."
"I'd be honored."
Casting a final longing glance at the cake, Janeway and Chakotay headed for the Bridge.
Emerging from the turbolift, Janeway and Chakotay strode to the center of the Bridge as the captain addressed Harry. "Report, Mister Kim."
"No change, Captain. The anomaly appears to be stable, and hasn't increased or decreased in size for the past several minutes."
"Have you tried sending a probe into it?" Janeway asked.
"We launched a standard sensory probe into it right after Ensign Kim contacted you," Tuvok informed her. "It should be sending back its findings momentarily."
Just then, Tuvok's panel beeped, and the Vulcan quickly scanned the readings being sent by the probe. "Interesting," he remarked after a lengthy silence.
"Care to elaborate on that?" Chakotay prompted.
Tuvok afforded him a brief glance. "According to these readings, the fluctuation is actually a type of wormhole," he revealed. "Our probe appears to have emerged intact on the other side."
"Where exactly is the other side?" Janeway pressed.
Tuvok checked his panel to confirm the readings before meeting the captain's gaze. "Sector 001 of the Alpha Quadrant."
Janeway's eyes widened in astonishment, and she exchanged a quick look with Chakotay before responding. "Are you telling us that this wormhole is a bridge to Earth?"
"To the Terran system, yes."
"Is it stable?" Chakotay asked.
"For the moment," Tuvok answered, "but there is no way to determine how long it will remain that way. With the exception of the wormhole located adjacent to Deep Space Nine, all previously discovered wormholes were eventually proven to be unstable."
"Would it be possible to take Voyager through it?" Janeway questioned.
"I am fairly certain that our shields would provide sufficient protection against hull stress," Tuvok allowed. "Should the wormhole collapse while we are passing through it, however, the ship would be crushed."
"Assuming for the moment that it remained stable while we passed through, how long would it take us to reach the other side?"
"Based on the time involved for the probe to pass through, and adjusting for Voyager's additional mass and volume, I estimate that it would take no more than five minutes to reach the other side."
"Five minutes," Janeway echoed.
"It certainly beats sixty-five years," Chakotay added.
"That it does," Janeway agreed. "Mister Tuvok, keep an eye on the wormhole and let me know if shows any signs of collapse or instability. Commander Chakotay, a word with you, please."
Janeway crossed over into her Ready Room shadowed by Chakotay, and once they were behind closed doors, got directly to the point. "What do you think?"
"I think your birthday wish just came true," Chakotay answered lightly, then grew serious. "It's an incredible opportunity. We've been waiting for something like this for six years."
"True, and I certainly don't like to look a gift horse in the mouth. But if we go through the wormhole and it collapses, this whole discussion will become a moot point."
"On the other hand, if we make it through successfully, we'll be home," Chakotay pointed out.
Janeway let out a sigh. "Damned if we do and damned if we don't," she said to herself.
"The decision is ultimately yours, Kathryn, but I'm fairly certain I speak for the rest of the crew when I say that I'd rather risk going through the wormhole than finish taking the long way home."
"Tired of the company?" Janeway taunted.
"Not hardly."
Janeway shook her head. "I don't know, Chakotay. A part of me wants nothing more than to steer the ship directly into the wormhole and take our chances. Yet another part of me wants some kind of assurance that it won't be a suicide run."
"That's understandable."
"Well, understandable or not, I intend to play it safe," Janeway declared.
"We'll monitor the wormhole for another twenty-four hours, and if it remains stable, we'll take Voyager through."
Chakotay nodded in silent acknowledgement, then started for the door, but stopped when Janeway called to him.
"Chakotay..."
The XO turned expectantly, and the captain flashed him a warm smile. "Thank you for my birthday dinner, and for the replica of Voyager. I enjoyed our evening."
Chakotay returned the smile. "You're welcome. Good-night."
The following afternoon, the ship-wide tension was nearly tangible as the deadline regarding the wormhole drew near. The anomaly had remained stable throughout the waiting period, and as the final hour of the watch came to an end, all eyes turned expectantly to Janeway.
"Status, Mister Tuvok," Janeway requested.
"The wormhole is still stable, Captain, and the readings from the probe confirm it is still in the Terran system," the Vulcan revealed.
Janeway glanced at Chakotay. "Well, it looks like we're going for a ride," she remarked, and got to her feet. "Mister Kim, please put me on ship-wide audio."
Harry ran a hand across his panel. "You're on, Captain."
"Attention all hands. As you are aware, the twenty-four hour waiting period regarding the wormhole's stability has concluded, and all readings indicate we can pass through safely. Assuming we do, I look forward to speaking with you again on the other side. Janeway out."
The captain shifted her attention to Tuvok. "Commander Tuvok, activate shields and take us to yellow alert."
"Aye, Captain."
Janeway turned to Tom. "Mister Paris, set a course for the wormhole, three quarters impulse power."
"Course laid in, Captain," Paris responded.
Janeway resumed her seat, then shot a quick glance at Chakotay. The two exchanged a brief, nervous smile, then turned to face the viewscreen.
"Take us home, Tom," Janeway ordered.
"Yes, Ma'am. Everybody, fasten your seatbelts."
With nary a shudder or a shiver, Voyager sailed into the wormhole, and the viewscreen became a tapestry of brilliant light and energy streams. The ship was approximately two-thirds of the way through when Tuvok's panel suddenly began to beep, and Janeway shot him a concerned glance. "Tuvok?" she prompted.
"The wormhole is collapsing, Captain," Tuvok explained. "Shields are down, and we have sixty seconds until the pressure crushes the hull."
"How long until we're out of the wormhole?" Chakotay asked.
"Fifty-nine seconds."
Just then a call came in from one of the lower decks. "Lieutenant Waters to the Bridge. We have a hull breach on Deck sixteen."
"Acknowledged," Tuvok replied. "Rerouting available power to compensate."
As if to mock Tuvok's efforts, the computer announced, "Warning; thirty seconds to structural collapse."
"Thanks for sharing," Tom mumbled under his breath.
As the computer continued to announce the ship's imminent destruction, the Bridge crew worked frantically to keep it intact long enough to exit the wormhole, ignoring the ominous shaking it was now experiencing. Just as the computer reached five seconds, the display on the viewscreen changed from the wormhole's interior to the familiar starscape of open space. After allowing everyone a moment to catch their breath, Janeway got to her feet to face Tuvok.
"What's the verdict, Mister Tuvok?"
"We have emerged in the Terran system, on the far side of Saturn."
The captain flashed her friend a wide smile. "Commander, that's the best news I've had in six years," she declared.
"We're being hailed, Captain," Harry announced. "Space Station Saturn One is demanding to know who we are."
"On screen."
The starfield on the viewscreen was immediately replaced by the image of a sparsely furnished office the size of Janeway's Ready Room, its sole occupant a young Human attired in a lieutenant's uniform. "This is Lieutenant Gerald Miller of the Federation Space Station Saturn One," he greeted formally. "Please identify yourself."
"Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Voyager," the captain returned.
"Voyager?" Miller echoed. "That ship is supposed to be stranded in the Delta Quadrant."
"It's a long story, Lieutenant," Janeway responded. "My voice print and the ship's serial number can be verified through the Fleet registry."
"Please stand by while I verify your identification," Miller requested.
The viewscreen flickered off, and the Bridge crew waited in expectant silence for Miller to run his security check. It took less than five minutes for him to complete his task, and once he had, he resumed contact with the ship.
"Thank you for waiting, Captain. Starfleet Command has verified your voiceprint and Voyager's serial number. Fleet Admiral Nechayev has requested that you proceed directly to Earth and report to Starfleet Headquarters upon your arrival."
"Tell her we're on our way, Lieutenant," Janeway returned. "Thank you for your help."
"My pleasure, Captain. Welcome home."
Miller's image flickered out, and Janeway turned to Tom. "Mister Paris, set in a course for Earth, full impulse power."
"Yes, Ma'am."
"Mister Kim, put me on ship-wide audio again, please."
Harry turned on the speakers, then nodded at Janeway to proceed.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, in approximately ten hours we will be arriving at Earth. It's been a rough road, but by working together we made it home. I thank each and every one of you for your contributions in making our journey a successful one. Whatever the future holds, I'm certain you will face it with the dignity you've displayed during your tenure on Voyager. It's been a privilege to be your captain. Janeway out."
The captain finished her speech, only to find the others watching her. Before she could voice her inquiry, however, Chakotay began to clap, followed a moment later by the rest of the Bridge crew.
That evening, the crewmembers that had once been Maquis were gathered in the Mess Hall at Chakotay's request.
"Thank you all for coming," he began. "We don't have a lot of time, so I'll get directly to the point. As soon as we reach Earth, we're going to be taken into Starfleet custody, and put on trial for our actions while in the Maquis. Rather than plead not guilty and trust our fates to some wet behind the ears Federation defense attorney, I'd just as soon take my chances by refusing counsel and pleading guilty."
"So you want us to just accept whatever they throw at us and let them lead us into their courtroom like lambs to a slaughter?" B'Elanna prompted.
"Under the circumstances we don't really have a choice," Chakotay returned.
"Even if we somehow managed to escape, we'd spend the rest of our lives with price tags on our heads. Do you really want to spend the next sixty to seventy years looking over your shoulder?"
The question was rhetorical, and Chakotay neither expected nor received an answer. He did, however, let its implications sink in a moment before continuing.
"Whatever Starfleet does to us, they can't take away what we've accomplished during the past six years, and they can't break the bonds we've forged with the people around us. Remember that, and let it give you strength in the days to come. Dismissed."
As the others broke apart and began to talk amongst themselves, B'Elanna walked over to stand next to Chakotay. "Nice speech," she replied.
"It was the truth," Chakotay returned.
"From your perspective," B'Elanna countered. "Personally I don't think we have a chance in hell of getting out of this without facing a Federation firing squad."
"Literally or figuratively?" Chakotay prompted dryly.
"Both."
Chakotay smiled slightly before changing the subject. "We'll reach Earth in a couple of hours," he said. "I think the captain would like me on the Bridge when we get there."
"Speaking of whom," B'Elanna began, "I trust you intend to tell her how you feel before we get tossed into prison?"
Chakotay's eyes widened in surprise. "You know?"
"News flash, Chakotay; half the ship knows."
Chakotay shook his head. "So much for discretion," he mumbled to himself. "Well, Lieutenant, the answer to your question is no, and let's leave it at that."
"After everything the two of you have been through, don't you think she has a right to know?"
"What purpose would it serve? She'll stand by us through the trial, then once our fate has been determined by the Council, she'll resume her career and move on with her life."
"Give her a little more credit, Chakotay," B'Elanna chided. "She may not have admitted to you, or herself for that matter, but its obvious to anyone with eyes that she cares about you."
"All the more reason for me not to say anything," Chakotay responded. "She's been given the chance to have her life back, and I won't tarnish that by imposing my feelings on her."
"I think you're making a mistake."
"It's my mistake to make," the XO replied evenly.
Without waiting for a response, Chakotay turned on his heel and left the Mess Hall.
Shortly thereafter, Janeway was sequestered in her Ready Room, sipping tea as she stared out at the stars. As delighted as she was to have her ship and crew safely back in the Alpha Quadrant, she couldn't help but feel a little anxious about their homecoming.
It's been over six years since we've been in familiar territory, but how much of it is still familiar?she wondered silently.
A chime at the door interrupted her train of thought, and Janeway invited her visitor to enter. The door swooshed open to admit Chakotay, and they exchanged a smile.
"Enjoying the view?" Chakotay prompted.
"For the most part," Janeway answered. "But in all honesty, I'm a little nervous about being back in the fold."
"I can't imagine why," Chakotay returned. "Once Starfleet Command finds out what you've done, you'll be the talk of the Fleet."
Janeway shot him a sideways glance. "I didn't get us home by myself, Chakotay," she reminded him. "None of us could have made it without all of us."
"Maybe not," the XO allowed, "but somehow I doubt Starfleet Command is going to welcome the ex-Maquis crew with open arms. That's why we've agreed not to contest the charges."
"I have no intention of handing any of you over to Starfleet as sacrificial lambs, Chakotay," Janeway declared. "You're my crew, and I won't let Starfleet use you as scapegoats."
"And we won't let you jeopardize your career by protecting us," Chakotay countered softly. "We made our choices when we joined the Maquis, and now the time has come for us to pay the price."
"Even if the price is life imprisonment in a penal colony?" Janeway prompted.
"Most of them are populated with criminals who would just as soon kill you as look at you."
"I know."
"And the idea of being killed doesn't bother you?"
"I don't want to die, but I'm not afraid to. Fear of death didn't get you very far in the Maquis, especially when you came face-to-face with it almost every day."
Janeway smiled. "I'm not sure if that makes you very brave or very foolish," she remarked lightly.
"Sometimes I wonder myself," Chakotay responded. "My time with the Maquis seems like it was another lifetime ago."
"You've come a long way in six years."
"Thanks to you."
"I appreciate the thought, but I can't take all the credit," Janeway demurred.
"Your decision to accept the position of First Officer certainly played a part in shaping you into the man you've become."
"My professional designation is of far less consequence than restoration of my soul," Chakotay countered quietly. "That is something you can take the credit for."
Janeway's smile widened. "Thank you," she said simply.
"Thank you."
I'm going to miss you.The thought flashed through Janeway's mind unbidden, and unwilling to dwell on its implications, she returned her attention to the passing stars.
"It's going to be odd not having to put on this uniform every day," Chakotay remarked after a moment. "I was just starting to get used to it."
Janeway shot him an amused glance. "As I recall, you once told me that the only thing you found more uncomfortable to wear than your uniform was a tuxedo."
"True," Chakotay allowed, "but at least this uniform doesn't make me feel like I belong on the top of a wedding cake."
"Very funny."
"We'll reach Earth in about an hour," Chakotay said. "I think I'll take a final stroll around the ship to pass the time."
"Mind if I tag along?" Janeway requested.
"Not at all."
Gesturing for the captain to precede him, Chakotay followed her out of the Ready Room.
Forty-five minutes later, Voyager settled into orbit around Earth for the first time in six half years. The ship was immediately hailed by Starfleet Command, and Fleet Admiral Nechayev's image appeared on the viewscreen.
"Captain Janeway," she greeted. "On behalf of Starfleet Command and the Federation Council, welcome home."
"Thank you, Admiral," Janeway responded. "It's good to be back."
Nechayev shifted her attention to Chakotay. "Commander Chakotay, I don't which is more surprising: discovering you're still alive or seeing you in a Starfleet uniform again."
"How gracious of you to say so, Admiral," Chakotay returned wryly.
"How many other members of your Maquis crew are on board?"
"Including myself, there's a total of forty-seven."
Nechayev returned her attention to Janeway. "Just out of curiosity, Captain, are they all members of your crew?"
"Yes, they are."
"Well, I look forward to hearing you explain why," Nechayev responded evenly.
"I'll expect you in my office in ten minutes. In the meantime, I'll arrange for Security to take your Maquis crew members into custody."
"With all due respect, Admiral," Janeway stated, "I'm afraid I can't allow you to do that."
It was difficult to tell who was more surprised at the captain's declaration--Chakotay or Nechayev--and the latter's tone turned to ice.
"Would you care to tell me why?" the Admiral prompted.
"Commander Chakotay and the other ex-Maquis are now members of my crew, and have been given field commissions accordingly. Unless and until they are proven guilty of the crimes they stand accused of, you have no authority to arrest them."
Nechayev remained silent for several moments before responding. "Very well, Captain," she conceded. "Commander Chakotay and his crew may remain on board Voyager, in your custody. They are to remain shipbound until their hearing, at which time you will relinquish them to Starfleet authorities. Is that clear?"
"As crystal, Admiral," Janeway assured her.
"Good. I'll see you in ten minutes."
Without bothering to sign off, Nechayev ended the transmission, and Janeway glanced at Chakotay. "That was fun," she said sarcastically.
"Captain, could I please speak with you privately?" Chakotay requested.
"Certainly."
The two crossed the Bridge and entered the Ready Room, then Chakotay waited until the doors were closed before addressing Janeway. "What was that little exchange with Nechayev all about?" he asked.
"I told you earlier that I have no intention of handing you over to Starfleet Command, Chakotay, and I meant it. Granted I would have preferred not to have had to ruffle Admiral Nechayev's feathers, but so be it."
"I appreciate your loyalty to us, Kathryn, but don't throw away your career in a misguided attempt to protect us from Federation bureaucracy," Chakotay pleaded.
"We both know that it won't change anything, except that you'll go down with the rest of us."
Janeway flashed him a small smile. "I grew up in the midst of Federation bureaucracy, Chakotay," she reminded him. "I assure you I know what I'm doing. And for the record, it will take a better woman than Alynna Nechayev to bring me down."
Chakotay returned her smile. "I have no doubt that it will."
Exactly ten minutes later, Janeway walked into Nechayev's office, not surprised to discover two other members of the Admiralty seated beside her. Word of Voyager's mysterious return was rapidly spreading through the Fleet, and Janeway's presence in Starfleet Headquarters had earned her several curious and shocked stares as she made her way to Nechayev's office. The other two admirals greeted her with warm smiles, one of whom was Tom Paris' father, Owen, but Nechayev was clearly still piqued over Janeway's refusal to turn over Chakotay.
"Captain," she said with cold formality. "Thank you for being prompt. This is Vice Admiral Eva Snow, and you already know Admiral Paris."
"Hello, Captain," Paris greeted. "It's good to see you again. I trust my son is well?"
"Very," Janeway assured him.
"For the record, Captain," Nechayev began, "Why don't you tell us how you and your crew wound up in the Delta Quadrant?"
"That, Admiral, is a very long story," Janeway answered wryly.
"We've got time," Nechayev returned pointedly.
Taking the not so subtle hint, Janeway carefully began to explain to them the story of Voyager's relocation to the Delta Quadrant. Once Janeway was done, the admirals exchanged astonished glances. Nechayev was the first to speak, her tone making it clear she doubted the captain's story.
"That's quite a story, Captain," she remarked. "I assume your ship's records will verify it?"
"Yes, as will my crew."
"I'm curious as to why you allowed the Maquis to integrate with your crew," Snow said. "Aside from the fact that Commander Chakotay was the only one with Starfleet experience, they are criminals."
Janeway visibly bristled at the slight against her officers, but she let it pass uncontested and instead responded to the first part of the admiral's comment.
"Under the circumstances, Admiral, I had very little alternative," she said evenly. "Our transport to the Delta Quadrant cost me the lives of a third of my crew, and with the lack of available replacements--viable or otherwise--I chose to meld the two crews in order to maximize our chances of survival and a safe trip home."
"Did it ever occur to you that you might be opening yourself up to a mutiny?" Nechayev prompted.
Janeway flashed her a smile bereft of warmth. "If I had been worried about that, I would have put them in the brig instead of uniforms."
Any response from Nechayev was prevented by the beep of her combadge.
"Security to Admiral Nechayev."
"Nechayev here."
"Admiral, this is Lieutenant Commander Jones. Commander Chakotay and forty-six members of his Maquis crew have just surrendered to us, and the commander is asking to speak to you."
"Thank you, Commander. I'll be right there."
Nechayev ended the transmission and flashed Janeway a smug smile. "Well, Captain, it looks like you have a mutiny of sorts on your hands after all. Shall we go hear what Commander Chakotay and his friends have to say?"
The captain shot the admiral an annoyed glare, but wisely held her tongue, and followed Nechayev and the others out of the office. Upon their arrival at the Security office, the group found only Chakotay present, attired in civilian clothes and standing in the center of the room with security guards on either side. As Janeway walked over to stand beside him, Nechayev addressed Jones.
"Commander Jones. Where are the others?"
"They've been taken to holding cells, Admiral," Jones told her.
"Has President Tanar been informed of the situation?" Nechayev asked.
"Yes, sir. She's convening an emergency Council session at 0800 tomorrow morning, and has asked that Commander Chakotay and his crew be present as well."
"That gives them less than twenty-four hours to arrange for counsel," Janeway protested.
Jones afforded her a brief glance. "Commander Chakotay and his crew have refused counsel, Captain," he informed her.
As Janeway shot Chakotay an astonished glance, Nechayev walked over to stand in front him, fixing him with an assessing gaze. "Playing the martyr doesn't suit you, Chakotay," she chided. "You were always too much of a maverick."
"I've mellowed in my old age," Chakotay returned.
The admiral permitted herself a small smile. "Not likely. I assume you understand the ramifications of refusing counsel?"
"I do."
"Very well. Chakotay of Dorvan, on behalf of the United Federation of Planets, you are under arrest on suspicion of treason and terrorism. You will remain in Starfleet custody until the Federation Council has determined a verdict against you and your crew. Any attempt to escape custody prior to that verdict shall result in your immediate imprisonment. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir."
Nechayev turned to Jones. "Commander, please place Mister Chakotay in a secured holding cell, away from his crew mates, then arrange for his escort to tomorrow's council meeting."
"Aye, Admiral."
"Admiral, I'd like a moment alone with the commander," Janeway requested.
"Captain, I don't think..."
"Alynna," Paris interjected quietly, "Don't start. Captain, you have five minutes."
The others filed out of the room, and as the last to leave, Paris shut the door behind him. Once they were alone, Janeway shot Chakotay a frustrated glance.
"It certainly doesn't say much for your faith in me that you surrendered barely an hour after I met with Nechayev," she snapped.
"After everything we've been through, I would think I've earned your trust."
"It isn't you we don't trust, Kathryn," Chakotay countered calmly. "We'd follow you into hell whistling if necessary; you know that."
"Then why did you turn yourselves in without giving me time to fight for your freedom?" Janeway challenged.
"Even a Maquis knows better than to start a battle he can't win," Chakotay responded, "and this one was over before it even began."
The quiet acceptance in Chakotay's tone diffused Janeway's ire, and she allowed herself a heavy sigh. "You are the most stubborn man I have ever met," she grumbled.
"Has anyone ever told you you're beautiful when you're frustrated?"
Janeway graced him with the ghost of a smile. "You picked a hell of a time to start flirting with me, Commander."
Chakotay returned the smile. "I've been flirting with you for six years, Captain; you just never noticed."
Janeway was prevented from responding by the return of Admiral Paris, accompanied by Jones and a security guard.
"I'm sorry, Kathryn, but it's time," Paris said. "Commander Jones has to take Commander Chakotay into custody."
Janeway responded with a curt nod, and exchanged a final glance with Chakotay before he was led from the room. Once he was gone, the captain turned to face Paris.
"I don't suppose there's anything you can do?" she queried.
"Other than request leniency for them, no," Paris replied. "I'm sorry."
"So am I."
"With your permission, I'd like to return to Voyager with you and see Tom," Paris requested.
"Actually, Owen, that may not be such a good idea," Janeway said carefully.
"Tom's married to one of the former Maquis, and now that they've been arrested, I doubt he's in the mood for a family reunion."
Paris' disappointment was obvious, but he nonetheless conceded to Janeway's judgement. "I've waited six years to reconcile with Tom," he remarked. "I suppose another twenty-four hours won't hurt me."
Janeway flashed him a grateful smile and gave his arm a reassuring squeeze.
"I'll let him know you asked for him."
"As long as we're on the subject of family reunions, maybe its time you had one of your own," Paris suggested. "I'm sure Gretchen has heard about your return by now."
Janeway's face creased into a frown. "With all of the tension over Chakotay and his crew I completely forgot about my mother and Phoebe," she mused.
Just then Nechayev walked back into the office, accompanied by an attractive young Betazed. "Captain Janeway, this is Commander Mira Voren, my chief-of-staff. I'd like you to allow her to accompany you back to Voyager and interview your crew."
Interrogate is more like it, Janeway thought to herself, earning her a faint smile from Voren. To Nechayev she said, "I'll contact my Security Chief and instruct him to assist Commander Voren with whatever she needs. I have personal business to attend to planetside."
"Very well, Captain," the Admiral relented. "I'll see you at the Council meeting in the morning."
Bidding farewell to Voren, Nechayev left the room, and once she was out of earshot, Voren addressed Janeway. "If it's any consolation, Captain, I'm on your side. I have a brother who was part of the Maquis, and he survived the conflict with the Cardassians only to be killed in the war against the Dominion."
Janeway shook her head. "One wonders how many wars and how many dead people it will take before the Federation realizes that fighting doesn't solve anything," she pondered to herself, then tapped her combadge. "Janeway to Voyager."
"Yes, Captain?" came Tuvok's instant response.
"Commander, Admiral's Nechayev's chief-of-staff Commander Voren will be transporting aboard to speak with the crew," Janeway told him. "I'd like you to give her whatever assistance she needs to conduct her 'interviews'."
"Aye, Captain."
Janeway took a couple of steps back, then gave the order to beam Voren to the ship and watched the younger woman disappear before at last exiting the security office.
Just under twenty minutes later, the captain arrived at her mother's house. The familiar sight of her childhood home brought tears to her eyes, and she was momentarily overwhelmed with the knowledge that she was back.
I was beginning to think I would never see this house again,she mused. I didn't realize until now just how much I've missed it.
Janeway's musings were interrupted by the creak of the screen door, which opened just wide enough to release Molly, who promptly launched herself at her mistress.
"Hello, Molly," Janeway greeted, and knelt down to give her dog a brief hug. "How are you, Old Girl? Did you miss me?"
Giving Molly a final pat, Janeway got to her feet just as a very pregnant Phoebe wandered outside.
"Molly, what has gotten into...you..." Phoebe's voice trailed off as she spotted her sister, and blue eyes a shade lighter than Janeway's widened in shock. "Oh my gosh...Kath, is that really you?"
"It's really me."
"Thank you, God," Phoebe muttered, then shouted into the house. "Mom, come quick! Kathryn's home!"
The announcement made, Phoebe made her way down the steps and crossed over to stand in front of Janeway, then pulled her sister into a warm hug, holding her for several moments before releasing her.
"Oh, Kath...I can't believe you're actually here. We've been so worried about you."
"I know. I'm sorry."
"What are you doing here?" Phoebe pressed. "We received news from Starfleet two years ago that you were stranded in the Delta Quadrant. How is that possible?"
"I'll explain everything to you later," Janeway promised. "Right now I just want to savor being home."
By this time Gretchen Janeway had made her way outside, and the captain wordlessly walked up onto the porch. "Hi, Mom," she greeted casually. "Remember me?"
"My little Katie," Gretchen replied. "Oh, how I've missed you. I was so afraid I would never see you again."
Gretchen lifted her hands to gently cup Janeway's face, then wrapped her arms around her in a fierce hug. Mother and daughter remained that way for several moments before Gretchen pulled away, and flashed Kathryn a smile. "I haven't seen you with short hair since you were a child," she remarked. "It suits you."
Kathryn returned her mother's smile, then glanced at Phoebe. "So tell me, Little Sister, who's responsible for your condition?"
"I'm married, Kath," Phoebe revealed. "His name is Nathan Ehlers, and he's one of the professors at Starfleet Medical Academy."
"Leave it to you to marry a doctor," Kathryn teased.
"Owen Paris called me just before you showed up," Gretchen said. "He told me about your crew. How are you holding up?"
"Ask me again after the hearing," Kathryn responded. "The next twenty-four hours are going to make my time in the Delta Quadrant seem like a walk in the park."
"Why don't you come inside and you can tell me all about it over a fresh batch of caramel brownies?" Gretchen offered.
Kathryn flashed her mother a loving smile. "I thought you'd never ask."
Linking arms with her mother and sister, Kathryn strolled into the house.
That evening, Janeway had returned to Starfleet Headquarters to check on Chakotay and the others before returning to Voyager. The captain had spent the afternoon explaining to her family most of what had happened during her six-year absence, including a brief description of her crew. It had been an emotionally exhausting afternoon, as the day's events began to take their toll, and the reality of their homecoming at last sank in. Yet despite her exhaustion, she was determined to let her friends know they were in her thoughts. It took two hours for her to make her way to all of the cells, and by the time she reached her final destination--Chakotay's cell--she was twice as tired as when she had started.
He was lying on his back staring at the ceiling when she approached, and a lone guard stood watch outside his cell. The guard flashed the captain a friendly smile of greeting, and at her request, he distanced himself from the cell so she could talk to Chakotay in relative privacy.
"Hello, Chakotay."
Chakotay acknowledged her with a brief glance before returning his attention to the ceiling. "Captain," he greeted formally. "Shouldn't you be with your family?"
"I am," Janeway countered. "How are you doing?"
"As well as can be expected under the circumstances," Chakotay answered.
"The others seem to be holding up rather well," Janeway remarked. "They're certainly taking it better than I am."
Chakotay shot her an assessing glance, then shifted position to face her. "You look like you've gone a few rounds in one of B'Elanna's Klingon martial arts programs," he observed.
"That would be perfectly in tune with how I'm feeling," Janeway responded wearily. "I'd forgotten how tiring dealing with Starfleet Command can be."
"Don't bang your head against a brick wall, Kathryn," Chakotay instructed quietly. "There's nothing you can do."
Janeway managed a faint smile. "As I recall, you said much the same thing to me when we got here, and I'm no more willing to accept it now than I was ten hours ago."
Chakotay returned the smile. "I thought I was the stubborn one," he chided. "You're supposed to be the voice of reason."
Janeway chuckled. "If I were as reasonable as Starfleet would like me to be, you and your crew would have spent the last six years in the brig," she pointed out.
"Touché."
"Do you regret it?" Janeway asked suddenly.
"Regret what?"
"Joining the Maquis."
Chakotay considered the question for a long moment before responding. "I regret that the Maquis had to exist in the first place," he answered at last, "but I can't regret the people that it brought into my life."
"War makes strange bedfellows," Janeway remarked softly.
"Interesting choice of anecdotes."
Janeway let the light jibe pass without comment, instead asking, "Is there anything I can do for you?"
Tell me you love me, Chakotay pleaded silently. Aloud he said, "The lack of aesthetics in my accommodations notwithstanding, I'm being well taken care of, but thank you for the offer."
"It's not too late to change your mind about accepting counsel," Janeway pressed. "I could pull a few strings and get the hearing postponed a couple of days."
Chakotay's handsome features creased into the ghost of a smile. "I said no, Captain. What part of that didn't you understand?"
Janeway returned the smile. "Touché."
"You should head back to the ship and try to get some sleep," Chakotay suggested. "It won't do much for the crew's morale if you fall asleep in the middle of our hearing."
"Maybe if I do, I'll wake up and discover this was all a dream," Janeway returned.
"You've waited for this for six years, Kathryn; don't let your anxiety over our fate take away the importance of your homecoming."
"I don't want my life back at the cost of yours, Chakotay. I care about all of you too much to simply stand by and do nothing while Starfleet Command plays roulette with your futures."
"Let it go, Kathryn; honor our choice to finish this on our own terms."
"As criminals?" Janeway challenged.
"As Maquis," Chakotay corrected quietly. "In spite of popular opinion, it's not something to be ashamed of."
Janeway sighed. "No, its not," she conceded. "Well, I'm too tired to debate this anymore, so I think I'll head back to Voyager."
"Save me a seat on the Bridge," Chakotay requested lightly.
"I'll do that. Good-night, Chakotay."
"Good-night, Kathryn."
Flashing Chakotay a final, sad smile, Janeway turned and walked away.
The following morning, Janeway was en route to the Transporter Room to beam down to Starfleet Headquarters when Tuvok paged her.
"Tuvok to Captain Janeway."
"Go ahead."
"Captain, Commander Voren is here and is requesting to meet with you."
"Bring her to my Ready Room, Commander."
"Aye, Captain."
A few moments later Tuvok arrived with Voren and they entered the Ready Room. The captain flashed them a half-hearted smile, and addressed Voren. "Good morning, Commander. What can I do for you?"
"Would it be possible for us to speak privately?" Voren requested.
"Whatever you have to say to me can be said in front of Commander Tuvok," Janeway responded.
"Very well. I am here to inform you that Starfleet Command intends to levy conspiracy charges against you for aiding and abetting a group of known traitors."
Janeway displayed no visible reaction to the revelation, but there was steel in her tone as she responded. "Chakotay and his crew are not traitors, Commander, and they are among the finest officers I've ever served with. As for the conspiracy charges, they have as much chance of lasting as a snowball in Hades."
"Your loyalty to your officers is admirable, Captain," Voren commended. "Unfortunately, if Starfleet finds Commander Chakotay and his crew guilty, it will make you an accessory after the fact."
"Why are you telling me this?" Janeway demanded suddenly.
Voren gave her a faint smile. "Seven years ago a Bajoran named Voren Lars was rescued from a Cardassian prison camp by a Dorvanian Maquis captain named Chakotay," she revealed. "He was more than half-dead, but Chakotay refused to leave him behind, and nearly lost his life saving his. He dropped Lars off at the nearest Federation outpost and arranged for his passage back to Bajor before returning to his ship. One year later, Chakotay disappeared on the day I married Lars."
Voren finished her story and fell silent, awaiting Janeway's reaction. The captain held her gaze for several moments before returning her smile.
"I guess that answers my question," she said dryly. "I appreciate you coming to me with this information, Commander, and I give you my word that it won't go outside of this room."
"Thank you, Captain. Whatever happens, know that as far as my husband and I are concerned, Commander Chakotay is a hero."
Voren bid her and Tuvok farewell, then exited the Ready Room. Once they were alone, Tuvok addressed his captain. "Would it be a safe assumption that you have no intention of accepting any charges Starfleet Command levies against you?" he asked bluntly.
"Actually, Tuvok, I'm not sure I care what Starfleet Command does anymore," Janeway responded. "Six years with no one to answer to but myself has given me a new perspective on Federation bureaucracy, and I can't say that it's a favorable one."
Getting to her feet, Janeway headed out of her Ready Room, and found a pensive Tom Paris waiting just outside her door.
"Good morning, Lieutenant."
"Captain," Tom returned. "I'd like to accompany you to the hearing."
"Tom..."
"Captain, please. I want to be there for B'Elanna, and Chakotay, and the others."
"What about your father?" Janeway questioned.
Tom shrugged. "I have to face him sooner or later."
"All right, Lieutenant; you may come with me. I expect you to behave accordingly, however. No outbursts or disruptions, whatever happens. Understood?"
"Yes, Captain. Thank you."
As they headed for the turbolift, the captain tossed off a final instruction to Tuvok.
"Keep an eye on my ship, Mister Tuvok. We'll be at the hearing."
"Aye, Captain."
Arriving at Starfleet Headquarters, Paris and Janeway made their way to the Assembly Hall where Janeway spotted Mark hovering by the door. As Tom made a discreet exit, Janeway simply stared at Mark in silence, unsure of what to say. Although she had spent much of the past six years planning what to say should this moment actually arrive, now that it had, Janeway found herself oddly speechless. After several minutes, she finally found her voice and managed to give him a small smile.
"Hello, Mark."
"Hello, Kath. It's been a long time."
"Yes, it has," Janeway agreed. "You look well."
"So do you. I like the short haircut, too."
"Thank you. What are you doing here?"
"I heard about Voyager's return, and I wanted to see for myself that you're really back."
"It's still sinking in for me, too," Janeway said. "Although our homecoming isn't exactly what I'd hoped for."
"For whatever it's worth," Mark offered, "I think your decision to make the Maquis part of your crew says more about their character than any verdict the Council renders."
Janeway smiled. "I appreciate you saying so," she responded. "Well, I'd better get inside."
Mark nodded. "Of course. It was good to see you again, Kat. Despite everything that's happened, I want you to know that I still care about you. I always will."
Janeway's smile widened. "The feeling is mutual, Doctor."
"See you around the neighborhood, Captain."
"Good-bye, Mark."
The two exchanged a brief, poignant hug, then Mark headed out of the building. The captain watched him until he was out of sight, then made her way inside. Scanning the room, she spotted Tom conversing with his father. Hoping they were mending fences, Janeway discreetly walked over to within hearing distance to eavesdrop on their discussion.
"You look well," the elder Paris remarked. "The time away seems to have been good for you."
"I'd like to think so," Tom allowed.
"I understand from Captain Janeway that you're married to one of the ex-Maquis crew. I'm sorry."
"I'm not," Tom countered.
Owen frowned. "That's not what I meant, Tom."
"I know what you meant, Dad, and I appreciate the gesture. But this isn't the time or the place for us to rehash our personal business."
"Of course. Just for the record, though, I missed you, and I'm very glad that you're home."
Tom acknowledged the remark with a small smile, then the elder Paris excused himself and faded into the crowd. Tom watched him go, then noticed Janeway standing a few feet away, and walked over to join her. "Developed a sudden fondness for eavesdropping, Captain?" he asked lightly.
"Rank has its perks," Janeway responded. "Are you all right?"
"I'd be better if I knew what the Council intends to do with B'Elanna and the others," Tom answered.
"I know the feeling."
"I assume that was Mark Johnson you were talking with outside?" Tom prompted.
"That was Mark," Janeway confirmed.
"Ah."
Janeway quirked an eyebrow. "Ah, what?"
"Nothing," Tom evaded quickly.
Janeway crossed her arms and glanced at Tom in silent expectation, and the lieutenant released a resigned sigh.
"Well, quite frankly, Captain, I really wouldn't have figured you to go for the scholarly type," he said cautiously. "He's so...mild."
"Really...just out of curiosity, Lieutenant, what 'type' do you see me with?" Janeway prompted.
"Oh, I don't know...tall, tattooed, temperamental."
"I see," Janeway allowed. "And I suppose it's a remarkable coincidence that you just described Chakotay?"
"It is, isn't it?" Tom returned innocently.
The captain shook her head in amusement just as Federation President Lupe Tanar called the hearing to order. It took several minutes for the spectators and the Council members to find their seats, then once they were settled she began the meeting.
"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. The purpose of this hearing is to pass sentencing on the individuals who were allegedly members of the Maquis rebellion. Lieutenant Bridger, bring in the accused."
The guard did as instructed and opened a door at the far end of the room to admit the ex-Maquis. They filed into the room in silence, their faces devoid of expression, and attired in civilian clothing. Tom and B'Elanna exchanged a quick glance, as did Janeway and Chakotay, then the prisoners assembled themselves in front of the President's podium. Out of deference to both his Starfleet rank and his standing among the Maquis, Tanar directed her attention to Chakotay.
"Commander Chakotay," she began formally. "You and your crewmates have waived your right to counsel. Is that correct?"
"Yes, Ma'am."
"And you understand the ramifications of giving up this right?" Tanar pressed.
"We do."
"Very well. Let the record reflect that the accused knowingly and willingly waived their right to counsel and have chosen to represent themselves. Chakotay of Dorvan, you and your crewmates are charged with treason, terrorism and conspiracy as demonstrated by your actions while members of the Maquis rebellion. How do you plead?"
Chakotay was the picture of calm as he answered, "On behalf of all us, Madame President, I'm authorized to plead guilty."
The guilty plea sent a wave of reaction through the crowd, and they immediately began to talk amongst themselves, but went silent again as Tanar pounded her gavel on the podium.
"Silence, or I'll clear the room!" she admonished, then returned her attention to Chakotay. "Commander Chakotay, you have testified before this Council that you and your crew are guilty of the crimes of treason, terrorism and conspiracy. We are not, however, unaware of the contributions all of you made in ensuring the safe return of Voyager and her crew to the Alpha Quadrant. In light of this, and based on the testimony given by the remainder of that crew, the mandatory sentence of life imprisonment is hereby waived."
Chakotay closed his eyes and sent a silent prayer of thanks to his Spirit Guide as the others exchanged exuberant hugs. In her seat beside Tom Paris, Janeway said her own prayer of thank you, and broke into a relieved smile. Tanar waited patiently for the crowd to compose themselves before continuing.
"In lieu of imprisonment, you and your crew are relieved of your field commissions as Starfleet officers, and are permanently banned from service. In addition, you are forever banned from residing in, or passing through, Federation space. From this day forward, you shall be considered enemies of the Federation, and your presence within our space will result in your immediate execution. You will be given twenty-four hours to put your personal affairs in order, then you will report to Captain Marcus Reese aboard the U.S.S. Columbus, who will escort you and your crew out of Federation space. This court stands adjourned."
As the Council filtered out of the room, Nechayev made her way through the crowd to Chakotay. "I was certain there was nothing left you could do to surprise me, Commander," she replied, "but I have to admit it threw me for a loop when you pleaded guilty."
"I saw little point in denying the obvious," Chakotay responded evenly.
"Any plans to appeal the verdict?" Nechayev prompted.
"No."
Nechayev nodded. "Well, I wish you luck with your new life, Chakotay Take care of yourself."
"I intend to."
Bidding him farewell, Nechayev disappeared into the crowd just as B'Elanna materialized at his side. "Well, I stand corrected," she declared. "No firing squad."
"It would seem the old adage that 'the truth will set you free' is accurate after all," Chakotay mused.
"If you really believe that, then maybe it's time you shared the truth about how you feel with Captain Janeway," B'Elanna stated.
"I'm not going to debate this with you again, B'Elanna," Chakotay warned.
"Then do yourself a favor and just tell her," B'Elanna declared. "At this point you have nothing left to lose."
"I've made my decision, B'Elanna," Chakotay stated. "As my friend I expect you to honor it."
"I'll honor it, but I sure as hell don't agree with it," B'Elanna retorted. "You are the most stubborn person I have ever met."
Chakotay managed a small smile. "That seems to be a popular opinion these days," he said dryly, then spotted Tom coming towards them. "You've got company, and three's a crowd, so I'm going back to the ship."
Casting Tom a quick smile, Chakotay faded into the crowd, leaving the younger man alone with B'Elanna.
"Well, it looks like you're going to have to put up with me for a little while longer after all," Tom stated. "So where are we going?"
"We?" B'Elanna echoed questioningly.
"You don't think I'm going to let a little thing like your exile keep you away from me, do you? Where you go, I follow."
"Tom..." B'Elanna began. "I appreciate the gesture, but I certainly don't expect you to give up your life just to be with me."
"You're my wife, B'Elanna," Tom declared. "My life is with you, whether its in the Delta or Alpha Quadrant."
B'Elanna threw her arms around Tom's neck and they exchanged a passionate kiss. Their embrace was interrupted a moment later by Janeway, who cleared her throat to make her presence known.
"I apologize for the intrusion," the captain said, "but I just wanted to tell B'Elanna how happy I am that all of you were spared imprisonment."
"Thank you, Captain," B'Elanna returned, "and thank you for all of your support during the past four years. You've been a friend and an inspiration to me, and I enjoyed serving under you."
"The ship won't be the same without you," Janeway responded, then glanced at Tom. "As long as you're here, Lieutenant, I can give you the good news. I just spoke with Vice Admiral Snow, and she asked me to tell you that Starfleet has decided to release you from the remainder of your sentence. You're a free man."
"Did my father have anything to do with this?" Tom demanded.
"No, the decision was based on the crew's accounts of your service on Voyager and assistance in getting us home," Janeway told him.
"Which I'm sure you had something to do with," Tom replied. "Thank you."
"My pleasure. Have either of you seen Chakotay?"
"He's gone back to Voyager," B'Elanna revealed. "I think he wants some time alone to deal with the verdict."
"Then I guess I'll have to catch up with him later," Janeway responded, unsuccessfully trying to hide her disappointment. "I'll see you two back on the ship."
Janeway faded into the crowd, and once she was out of earshot, Tom spoke again.
"I take it you couldn't convince Chakotay to tell her how he feels."
"I tried, twice, but he refused."
"Maybe we should tell the captain ourselves," Tom suggested.
"It's not our place to interfere, Tom," B'Elanna told him. "Right or wrong, Chakotay's made his choice, and we have to live it."
"I only hope he can," came Tom's reply.
Several hours later, Chakotay was in his quarters, packing the last of his personal belongings and trying not to think about what the coming day would bring.
In less than a day I have to walk away from everyone and everything I care about for the second time,he mused. Execution almost would have been preferable to exile.
A chime at the door interrupted his musings, and Chakotay bid his visitor enter. The door opened with a soft swoosh, and Janeway walked into his quarters.
"Chakotay," she greeted simply. "Am I intruding?"
"Not at all."
"There's a farewell party of sorts going on in the holodeck," Janeway revealed.
"I'm sure there are a few people who'd like the chance to bid you a safe journey."
"I appreciate the thought, but I'm not really up to it."
"Of course," Janeway allowed, then glanced at his bag. "Packing so soon?"
Chakotay shrugged. "It was a way to pass the time. I've already arranged for a message to be delivered to my sister on Dorvan V, and I said my good-byes to the crew this afternoon."
Janeway nodded. "Have you given any thought to where you'll go?"
"I heard stories while I was in the Maquis of a planet called Kalmaar, which is located just outside the Grendar system. It's rumored to be a modern-day Garden of Eden."
"The Grendar system...it's a seven-week journey just to get there," Janeway recalled.
Chakotay shrugged. "As long as I'm going to be exiled, I intend to do it on a beautiful, unallied planet in the middle of nowhere," he said. "I've had enough of war and Federation bureaucracy to last me two lifetimes."
"What about your sister? Surely you want to be someplace where she can at least visit you from time to time, or maintain correspondence."
"My sister has her own family to think about, so I think it would be better for both of us if we make a clean break now."
"I can tell from the tone of your voice that you've already made up your mind about this."
"No sense in postponing the inevitable."
"I suppose not. So...what do you intend to do with your last few hours aboard Voyager?"
"Actually, I'm heading over to the Columbus tonight," Chakotay revealed. "At this point, staying here is only putting salt in the wound."
"So you were just going to leave without saying good-bye?"
Chakotay managed a faint smile. "Good-bye usually indicates you never intend to see that person again. In your case that's not something I'm willing to accept."
"And I'm not willing to just let you walk out of my life."
"I have no choice."
Knowing he was right, Janeway let the argument end before it really started.
"Then perhaps you could do me a favor before you go."
"Name it."
Her eyes shimmering with tears, Janeway closed the distance between them, then lifted her eyes to meet his gaze. "Tell me how I'm supposed to live the rest of my life without you."
"Kathryn..."
"I can't do this, Chakotay. I can't stand here and pretend that the thought of never seeing you again isn't tearing me apart."
Chakotay held her gaze for a long moment before responding. "There's a second part to that ancient legend I told you," he said quietly. "There came a day when the leaders of the woman warrior's tribe decided that the angry warrior was their enemy, and as punishment sent him to live the rest of his life alone far away from the woman who had brought him peace. Yet despite their separation, a part of the angry warrior's soul and that of the woman he followed would always belong to each other, and that way they would never truly be alone."
By the time Chakotay finished his tale, tears were streaming down Janeway's face, and he gently wiped them away.
I love you, he thought sadly. To Janeway he said, "Take care of yourself, Kathryn; be happy."
How can I be without you by my side?"Chakotay...."
"Kathryn, please, just let it go."
Chakotay lifted his hand to ever so lightly caress her cheek, then retrieved his bag and exited his quarters. Janeway stared at the closed doors for several minutes, tears again streaming down her face, then spoke aloud to the empty room.
"Good-bye, Chakotay."
The following morning Gretchen Janeway was in her backyard watering her flowers when a series of barks from Molly announced the arrival of an unexpected visitor. Turning off the hose, Gretchen glanced up just as Chakotay came around the side of the house, and they exchanged a smile of greeting.
"May I help you?" Gretchen inquired.
"I hope so," Chakotay responded. "My name is Chakotay, Mrs. Janeway. I was your daughter's First Officer while we were stranded in the Delta Quadrant."
"Ah, yes; Commander Chakotay. Katie told me about you and your crew. It's nice to meet you."
"Thank you."
"Does Katie know you're here?"
"No, and I'd like to keep it that way. We said our farewells last night."
"All right. What can I do for you, Commander?"
"I came here to ask you for two favors. The first one is that I'd like you to make sure that Kathryn doesn't blame herself for the Council's decision to exile the Maquis. Contrary to what she would like to believe, our fate is not her personal responsibility. We made our choices, and we'll accept the consequences."
"Fair enough. What is your second request?"
"I have a sister on Dorvan V named Gray Feather," Chakotay said. "I would appreciate it if you could relay a message through her should anything ever happen to Kathryn."
"That's a rather unusual request, Commander," Gretchen remarked. "Do you mind if I ask where it's coming from?"
From my heart, Chakotay thought to himself. Aloud he replied, "Let's just say that it's important for me to know."
Gretchen gazed at him for a moment in silent assessment before responding.
"Very well, Commander. I'll honor your requests."
"Thank you, very much."
"I'm curious, Commander; how did you know I'm Katie mother?"
Chakotay smiled. "Kathryn has your smile," he told her. "It must come with the eyes."
Without waiting for a response, Chakotay bid Gretchen farewell and left the way he came. Gretchen watched him go, then spoke aloud to herself.
"Katie, my dear, you are full of surprises."
Shaking her head, Gretchen resumed her watering.
That evening, Janeway sat on the steps of her mother's porch with Molly beside her, staring out into the night as she sipped at a mug of hot coffee. She had spent most of the day in Nechayev's office, defending herself against conspiracy charges which, in the end, had not come to fruition. Lost in thought, she did not hear the footsteps signaling her sister's arrival, and started slightly when Phoebe spoke to her. "Mind if I join you?" she asked.
Janeway glanced up and flashed her sister a warm smile. "Have a seat."
Phoebe settled next to Janeway. "You've barely said three words to anyone since you got here this afternoon," she said. "Would you care to tell me what's wrong?"
"Not much to tell," Janeway evaded.
"Nice try, Kath, but this is me you're talking to," Phoebe chided. "I know it's been a few years, but I can still tell when you're keeping something from me."
Janeway sighed. "Starfleet Command nearly charged me with conspiracy for allowing the Maquis to integrate with my crew," she revealed.
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" Phoebe exclaimed. "What were you supposed to do, lock all of them in the brig for seventy-five years?"
"The powers that be seem to think so."
Phoebe snorted. "Maybe some of them should have been exiled instead of your crew," she muttered. "Then again, considering the way things have been going for the past year, exile may not have been much of a punishment."
"Chakotay said something vaguely similar," Janeway revealed. "A brief commentary about having had enough of war to last him two lifetimes."
"Chakotay was one of the Maquis?" Phoebe prompted.
Janeway nodded. "He was the captain of the Maquis ship that Voyager was pursuing the day we disappeared," she clarified. "When I made the decision to integrate our crews, I made him my First Officer."
"A former Maquis commander taking orders from a Starfleet Captain," Phoebe replied. "That must have been interesting."
"We had our moments," Janeway allowed, "but for the most part we made a surprisingly good team. I couldn't have survived the last six years without him."
"Tell me about him."
Janeway smiled. "I'm not sure where to start."
"The beginning always works for me."
Janeway's smile widened ever so slightly, then she quietly began to tell her sister about Chakotay. It took over an hour for the captain to complete her story, yet Phoebe waited in patient silence until Janeway had finished before posing a question to her.
"Were you lovers?"
Janeway shot her sister a surprised glance, and Phoebe smiled.
"Don't look so surprised, Kathryn," she admonished. "Its obvious he's more than just a friend to you. I can hear it in your voice."
"I wasn't aware I was so transparent," Janeway responded. "No, we were not lovers."
"But you are in love with him," Phoebe pressed.
"I don't think it matters now."
"It does to you."
Janeway released a sigh, and wiped away a stray tear that was rolling down her cheek. "I always took it for granted that anytime I wanted to change the nature of our relationship, he'd be there," she said in an anguished whisper. "What a fool I was."
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Kath; you had no way of knowing that you'd actually find a way back home."
"Home," Janeway echoed bitterly. "They say home is where the heart is; mine certainly isn't here. It's ironic when you think about it: I've spent the past six years doing everything in my power to ensure that my crew would return safely to the Alpha Quadrant. Yet now that we're here, a part of me wishes we were still in the Delta Quadrant."
"Maybe you should go to him," Phoebe suggested. "Tell him how you feel."
Janeway shook her head. "I won't jeopardize Chakotay's freedom simply to resolve unfinished business," she stated firmly. "I owe him at least that much."
"What about what you owe yourself?" Phoebe countered. "Kathryn, all of your life you've always put other people's needs ahead of your own; that's part of what makes you such a good captain. Maybe its time you stopped letting everyone else's life dictate how you live yours."
"It's not that simple, Phoebe. Chakotay is starting a new life for himself, and I intend to respect that by staying out of it."
Not knowing what to say, Phoebe remained quiet for a long moment before breaking the silence with a simple, "I'm sorry."
"So am I."
The weeks passed, and life slowly returned to normal. The remaining crew had adjusted to the loss of their friends, and with Voyager undergoing a month-long overhaul at Earth Station McKinley, they were using the time to adjust to their new lives. Harry and Tuvok had taken a leave of absence to be with their families, but upon their return would assume the positions of Ops officer and First Officer, respectively. Seven of Nine had been reunited with her maternal grandparents, and with Janeway's blessing, had accompanied them to their home on Alpha Centauri to put the pieces of her past back together. Neelix had remained on Voyager, perfectly content to maintain his position as self-appointed morale officer, and the Doctor had been temporarily transferred to Starfleet Medical, where the staff was working with him to implement his individuality into the standard EMH program.
On the personal front, Janeway's attempts to resume her own life had, on the surface, been going smoothly. Yet despite appearances, it was evident to those closest to her that something was bothering her. The evening before she was scheduled to leave on a first contact mission, Janeway was having dinner with her mother, and was absently pushing her uneaten food around her plate as Gretchen watched in curious silence. The captain had been unusually quiet throughout the meal, and realizing she wasn't going to volunteer the reason for her mood, Gretchen decided to ask her about it.
"Do you want to tell me what's bothering you, or would you like me to guess?" she prompted lightly.
Janeway glanced up from her plate and flashed her mother an apologetic smile. "I've been pretty lousy company, haven't I?"
"You're always a little distracted before you leave for an assignment," Gretchen allowed, "but I get the feeling that there's more to your silence than anticipation over your mission."
"I never could keep anything from you."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really."
"I see," Gretchen allowed. "Tell me something, Katie, would your mood have anything to do with a certain ex-Maquis who served as your First Officer while you were in the Delta Quadrant?"
Janeway managed a small smile. "I take it you've been talking to Phoebe," she surmised.
"Actually, I had a little chat with Commander Chakotay," Gretchen told her. "He came to see me the morning after the verdict."
Janeway frowned. "How can that be? He had already boarded the Columbus the night before."
Gretchen smiled. "Do you want to argue trivialities with me, Katie, or do want me to tell you what he had to say?"
Janeway obediently fell silent, and Gretchen continued.
"He showed up right after breakfast. I was in the back yard watering my flowers when he came around from the side of the house. He introduced himself, and proceeded to ask me for two favors. For the first one he asked that I make certain you didn't blame yourself for his crew's exile, stating simply that they had made their own choices and would accept the consequences."
"What was the second?" Janeway prompted quietly.
"He gave me his sister's name and requested that I relay a message through her should anything ever happen to you. He wouldn't give me a direct answer when I asked him why; all he said was that it was important to him to know."
Janeway shook her head. "He always was overly fond of being evasive."
"Chakotay didn't need to give me a direct response, Katie," Gretchen replied. "It was obvious from the tone of his voice when he spoke of you that he loves you."
"Then maybe he should have told me so before walking out of my life," Janeway retorted.
"Would you have listened?"
"It sounds like you're taking his side."
"This has nothing to do with taking sides, Katie," Gretchen admonished. "Its about unraveling yourself from the Starfleet regulations you're smothering yourself in and admitting how you feel."
The reprimand earned Gretchen a faint smile. "That sounds like something Chakotay would say," Janeway remarked.
"Then he's obviously an intelligent man," Gretchen declared. "Of course it helps that he's also tall, dark and handsome."
Janeway's smile widened ever so slightly. "You noticed that, did you?"
Gretchen returned the smile. "Katie, I would have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to notice."
"Well, what I do or don't feel for Chakotay isn't really relevant, because I'll never get the chance to tell him."
"Yes, it is rather convenient that he's settled on the other side of the quadrant, isn't it?" Gretchen asked rhetorically. "Now he can spend the rest of his life blissfully unaware that the woman he loves feels the same way. And, you can spend the rest of yours feeling sorry for yourself because you never took the chance to see what might have been."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you're a coward."
Janeway's eyes widened in surprise. "Excuse me?"
"You're afraid of what you feel for Chakotay."
"That's ridiculous."
"Is it?" Gretchen countered. "You're not stupid, Katie, and you're not blind. Yet you spent six years ignoring the fact that the man was in love with you. Why? Were you worried about Starfleet regulations? You certainly weren't when you enlisted known terrorists to join your crew. And the Maquis factor aside, there was no one within seventy thousand light years to object to any relationship the two of you chose to pursue. No, the problem lies in the fact that loving Chakotay would have been too much of an emotional risk for you. He wasn't safe."
"Safe?" Janeway echoed questioningly.
"Yes, safe. Loving Mark was safe, because you knew that he would never object when your career took you away from him, and that he would always be waiting for you when you came back. But from what I've heard about Chakotay, he doesn't strike me as the type to take second billing to Starfleet on your priority list, and that's what worried you. Because you knew that loving him would force you to put him first, instead of your career, and your safety net would be gone."
Janeway took a moment to absorb what her mother had said before responding. "You're right," she admitted at last. "I am afraid of what I feel for Chakotay."
"Because of his history as a terrorist?" Gretchen prompted.
Janeway permitted herself a wistful smile. "No. He's a little rough around the edges, but underneath he has the most sensitive heart I've ever known."
"Then what is it that you're so scared of?"
"I'm afraid of losing myself by loving him. In my other relationships there was always a part of myself I held back, a proverbial lifeline I could grab onto and save myself if the relationship didn't work. But I couldn't do that with Chakotay. From the moment we met, it was as if he sensed that part of myself I kept hidden and challenged me to show it to him. I wasn't willing to give him that kind of emotional hold over me."
Gretchen smiled. "Lao-Tzu once said, 'Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage'. If you truly love Chakotay, Katie, then have the courage to share it with him."
Janeway sighed. "It's not that simple, Mom. I have responsibilities, commitments to fulfill. I can't abandon those just to resolve unfinished personal business."
"That's not what I'm suggesting. But you'll be gone for six months, Katie. Maybe you should use that time to decide what it is you really want to do with the rest of your life, and whether you want to spend it with, or without, Chakotay."
U.S.S. Voyager--Six Months Later
Inside her Ready Room, Janeway was reviewing the latest maintenance reports from Engineering when the door chime announced a visitor.
"Come in."
The door opened to admit Tuvok, and he crossed over to stand in front of her desk.
It's been over six months and I'm still not used to seeing Tuvok in Chakotay's uniform, Janeway thought idly.
"We have received a message from Starfleet Command," Tuvok announced. "They congratulated us on a successful mission, and asked me to inform you that upon our return to Earth, they intend to promote you to Commodore."
Janeway acknowledged the news with a faint smile. "I'll be sure to send them a thank you card," she replied with mild sarcasm.
Tuvok arched an eyebrow. "May I assume from the tone of your voice that you are less than pleased with the news?" he prompted.
"That would be a safe assumption, Commander," Janeway allowed.
"Is something troubling you, Captain?"
"Only the same thing that's been troubling me since we came home."
"I trust you are referring to the fate of Commander Chakotay and his crew."
"I just don't understand how Starfleet Command thinks," Janeway replied. "Chakotay and his crew did as much as any of the Starfleet crew to get us home, but they barely got a thank you before the Council decided to banish them from Federation space. Yet we're all just supposed grin and Molly it because the powers that be were gracious enough not to imprison them."
"With all due respect, Captain, that is an oversimplification of the situation," Tuvok chided. "By their own admission, Commander Chakotay and the others were guilty of the crimes for which they stood accused."
"Crimes which were part of a war that never should have happened," Janeway countered. "If the Federation had been more concerned with its people instead of its politics, the Maquis rebellion--and the war with the Dominion for that matter--would never have happened."
"Were I to close my eyes and listen to your words in lieu of your voice, I would think that I was having this discussion with Commander Chakotay," Tuvok remarked.
Janeway sighed. "To be perfectly honest, Tuvok, I wish you were," she said ruefully, and getting to her feet, walked over to stare out the window. "There are still days when I walk onto the Bridge and expect to see him sitting there, or something will happen that I want to share with him, and the reality that he's gone hits me all over again."
"May I make a suggestion?" Tuvok asked.
Janeway glanced at him. "Please do."
"Perhaps it would be easier for you to accept his absence if you were admit to yourself that you are in love with him."
Janeway shook her head, and gave her friend an embarrassed smile. "Was there anyone on this ship who didn't know how Chakotay and I felt about each other?"
"With the exception of yourselves, no."
The captain's smile widened ever so slightly, then faded as she returned her gaze to the view. "I miss him, Tuvok," she confessed quietly. "More than I expected to. And I'm finding it harder to justify serving Starfleet when they continue to punish other people for their mistakes."
"Are you inferring that you no longer believe in the principles upon which Starfleet is based?" Tuvok questioned.
"No. I've spent my entire adult life upholding those principles, and in my heart I know that they're sound. But with everything that's happened in the past six and a half years, I don't know if I'm still willing to accept the personal cost of enforcing them."
Not knowing what to say, Tuvok made a discreet exit from the Ready Room, leaving Janeway alone with her thoughts.
KALMAAR COLONY--GRENDAR SYSTEM
"What do you think you're doing?" Tom demanded.
B'Elanna afforded him a brief glance. "I'm stacking firewood," she answered. "What does it look like I'm doing?"
"You're supposed to be resting," Tom admonished. "The doctor said you were to avoid all strenuous activity during your pregnancy."
B'Elanna sent him an annoyed scowl. "Piling a few pieces of wood hardly qualifies as strenuous activity, Tom," she protested. "Besides, I've been cooped up in the house for almost eight months. If I don't do something I'll go nuts."
Out of the corner of his eye, Tom spotted Chakotay coming toward them, and flashed his wife a smug smile. "Fine; if you won't listen to me, maybe Chakotay can make you see reason. Chakotay, come here a minute."
"I'm not getting in the middle of another of your domestic squabbles, Paris," Chakotay returned. Tom ignored him. "Would please tell B'Elanna that women who are due to give birth any second should not be lifting firewood?" he requested.
"I hate to disappoint you, Paris, but B'Elanna barely listened to me when I outranked her," Chakotay said dryly.
"You're a big help," Tom muttered.
Chakotay permitted himself a small smile, which faded as he was struck by a sudden wave of homesickness, brought on by the familiar bickering between Tom and B'Elanna, a reminder of their days on Voyager. It had been over a year since the ex-Maquis crewmembers had been exiled, and with the exception of Tom and B'Elanna, the others had chosen to go their separate ways. Chakotay had settled on Kalmaar, a tropical planet every bit as beautiful as its reputation claimed it to be, and Tom and B'Elanna had decided to join him there. The Kalmaarians had welcomed the trio with open arms, and they had quickly adjusted to their new lives.
Yet despite their fondness for their new home, the trio still missed their old one, namely Voyager, and had spent many evenings reminiscing about their time in the Delta Quadrant. The passage of time had eased their pain over losing so many valued friends, but Chakotay had yet to come to terms with losing Janeway.
It's been fourteen months and I miss her more every day, he mused ruefully. Obviously time doesn't heal all wounds.
A sudden clap of thunder shattered Chakotay's melancholy mood, and he glanced up at the darkening sky. "That sounds ominous," he remarked.
"Sounds like we're in for another storm," Tom added.
"I'd better get home before the rain starts," Chakotay replied. "I'll see you two tomorrow."
The trio exchanged farewells, then Chakotay made his way to the beach and started down the shore toward his house. He had barely gotten halfway when a second clap of thunder signaled the arrival of the storm, and it began to pour. Breaking into a run, Chakotay reached his house in less than thirty seconds, but was nonetheless drenched by the time he got inside.
"Well, at least I don't melt," he grumbled.
"Talking to yourself could be interpreted as a sign of insanity, Commander," an achingly familiar voice chided.
Chakotay's head jerked up, and he spotted Janeway standing in his living room, warming herself in front of the fireplace. "Kathryn..."
"Hello, Stranger."
Closing the distance between them, Chakotay stopped less than a foot in front of Janeway, his expression one of shock combined with wonder. He studied her in silence for a moment, then cautiously lifted his hand to touch her, then paused, his hand hovering barely an inch from her face.
"I won't bite, Chakotay," she said lightly.
"I'm afraid if I touch you, I'll discover you're just an illusion and you'll disappear," Chakotay whispered in response.
Janeway felt her heart constrict at his remark, and flashed him a reassuring smile. "There's only one way you're going to find out."
Returning her smile, Chakotay at last pressed his palm against her cheek. His touch was warm yet feather light, indicating he was truly afraid she would vanish at the contact, and Janeway could feel a slight tremble in his hand.
"I can't believe you're really here."
"I'm really here."
"Why?"
"Because I love you."
"I hope you mean that," Chakotay declared vehemently, "because I'm never letting you go again!"
Lifting his other hand to cup her face, Chakotay lowered his head to kiss her. Feeling Janeway's instant response, he deepened the kiss as he gently pulled her against him. After several minutes, Chakotay reluctantly broke off their kiss, but did not relinquish his hold on Janeway.
"I've missed you," he replied. "When I left Voyager I was certain I would never see you again."
"So was I," Janeway admitted, "but about six weeks after you left, my mother told me about the visit you paid her, then proceeded to set me straight regarding my personal life. I believe it was what is commonly referred to as a 'crushing set-down'."
"If it’s any consolation, B'Elanna took me to task twice for refusing to tell you how I felt."
"Which, for the record, you have yet to do," Janeway pointed out.
Chakotay flashed her a warm smile. "I love you," he said softly. "So much so that I used to lie awake at night with my heart aching because I wanted so badly to share it with you."
The confession caused the captain's eyes to well with tears, and she tightened her hold on him. Whatever possessed me to think I could live without him? she pondered silently. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was afraid of how you would react, afraid you would tell me you didn't feel the same way. The closest I came was when we were on New Earth and I created the legend for you. That was the first time I allowed myself to hope there could actually be something more between us, but once we returned to the ship you acted as if nothing had happened. I wasn't sure if it was because you were still missing Mark, or you simply didn't have any feelings for me other than friendship. Either way, I decided it would be better for both of us if you never knew I loved you."
"So even if we had stayed in the Delta Quadrant, you would have kept your secret, never letting on how you really felt about me?" Janeway pressed.
"Yes."
The captain shook her head. "I've been such a fool," she mumbled to herself, then glanced back at Chakotay. "My mother told me I was a coward, that I purposely ignored your feelings for me because I was too afraid to face mine. She was right."
"It doesn't matter," Chakotay assured her. "The important thing is that you're here now."
Janeway smiled. "I love you."
"I love you."
"Care to prove it?"
"It would be my pleasure."
Chakotay bent his head to give her another kiss, then a few moments later gently lowered her to the floor.
Several hours later, Janeway and Chakotay lay entwined in one another's arms, buried beneath a pile of blankets in front of the fire. Half asleep, Janeway lay curled against Chakotay's side, her head on his chest as she listened to his heartbeat while he lightly ran his hand along her spine. Outside the storm continued to rage, and they could hear the rain pounding against the house. A sudden clap of thunder caused Janeway to start, and Chakotay pulled her closer as he pressed a kiss against her hair.
"It's only thunder," he whispered. "Go back to sleep."
"I wasn't sleeping," Janeway returned. "I was thinking."
"About?"
"How much I love you, and how sorry I am I waited so long to tell you. If I had any sense at all, I would never have let you leave Voyager."
"If I had any sense at all, I would never have let you leave New Earth," Chakotay countered. "At the very least I could have spared myself five and a half years worth of cold showers."
Janeway smiled against his chest. "Very funny."
"As long as you're awake, there is something we need to discuss," Chakotay replied. "You still haven't given me a complete explanation as to why you're here."
Letting out a sigh, Janeway sat up to face him. "I've taken a leave of absence from Starfleet," she revealed. "After the Council banned you and your crew from Federation space, I began to take a long, hard look at what you so fondly refer to as 'Federation bureaucracy', and I decided I didn't like what I saw."
"Kathryn, we had this discussion when we got back to Earth. I asked you then not to throw away your career over Starfleet Command's decision to prosecute the Maquis."
"It wasn't just about that, Chakotay," Janeway told him. "I've spent my entire adult life doing everything I could to be the ideal Starfleet officer, and to uphold the values that represents. But after watching the Federation fall apart at the seams over the conflicts created by their treaty with Cardassia, and learning that they had repeated their mistake with the Dominion, I began to wonder just what it was I was supposed to be representing. Starfleet is supposed to promote peaceful exploration of and interaction with alien worlds, yet lately all they seem to be doing is exchanging one war for another. I won't be a part of that."
"Then why didn't you resign instead of taking a leave of absence?"
"Because I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to sacrifice a lifetime of beliefs merely to ease my conscience. I still want to believe that I can find a way to reconcile how I feel and return to Starfleet."
"For your sake I hope that you do," Chakotay said. "But nothing you've told me explains your change of heart."
"You can thank my mother for that," Janeway informed him. "She told me that if I truly loved you, I should have to courage to share it with you."
Chakotay smiled, "Obviously your mother is an intelligent woman."
"She said the same thing about you. You two seemed to have hit if off rather quickly."
"Not all Janeway women are immune to my charm."
"Ha, ha."
"So where do we go from here?" Chakotay asked. "Aside from the fact that we now know we love one another, nothing else had changed. I'm still banned from Federation space, and your home is still Earth."
"My home is with you, Chakotay," Janeway corrected tenderly, giving him a light kiss to emphasize her point. "I let you walk out of my life once; I couldn't live through it a second time."
"Neither could I," Chakotay responded, "but you can't make Kalmaar your home if you intend to return to Starfleet."
"I don't have all the answers, yet, but whatever happens, you and I will be together. I promise you that."
"Far be it for me to argue with the captain."
"Funny you should say so," Janeway replied. "I refused a promotion to Commodore just before I took my leave of absence."
"I'm sure that went over well with Admiral Nechayev."
"About as well as my refusal to turn you over when we reached Earth," Janeway allowed. "As long as we're on the subject, however, what exactly is your history with her?"
"She was my captain during my first assignment aboard a starship, and she considered me her protégé. When I resigned from Starfleet to join the Maquis, she took it as a personal insult, and never forgave me."
"From what I gathered, she seems to have taken the whole Maquis rebellion as a personal insult," Janeway remarked.
"I think we can find a better way to pass the time than discussing my checkered past," Chakotay replied pointedly.
"What did you have in mind?"
"Why don't I show you?"
The following morning, Chakotay was in the kitchen fixing breakfast when a knock at the door signaled the arrival of unexpected guests. Setting the food on the table, Chakotay crossed over to open the door and Tom and B'Elanna walked inside.
"Come in," Chakotay said to no one in particular, then swung the door shut before returning to the kitchen.
"We wanted to make sure you didn't get washed away in the storm last night," B'Elanna said.
"I was pretty wet by the time I got home, but it doesn't seem to have done any permanent damage," came Chakotay's reply.
"Except maybe wash away a few of your brain cells," Tom countered, and gestured at the extra place setting on the table. "The table's set for two, Chakotay. Have you forgotten how to count?"
"I see your manners haven't improved since you've been gone," Janeway interjected from behind him.
Instantly recognizing her voice, Tom and B'Elanna whirled to face Janeway, and stared at her in shocked silence.
"I do believe this is the first time I've ever seen you speechless, Mister Paris," Janeway teased, then walked around them to join Chakotay in the kitchen. The two exchanged a brief kiss, then Chakotay handed her a mug of coffee and slid an arm around her waist.
"After fourteen months I should think I at least warrant a 'hello'," Janeway chided.
"Sorry, Captain...it's just such a shock to see you," Tom replied. "What are you doing here?"
"She's not here to work on her tan," B'Elanna retorted.
"It's a long story, Tom," Janeway answered. "I'll tell you both all about it over breakfast."
"Well, I survived six years on Neelix's cooking," Tom stated, "so I suppose one meal of Chakotay's shouldn't prove fatal."
Chakotay glanced at Janeway. "You should have let me kill him when I had the chance."
Janeway rolled her eyes in mock disgust.
After breakfast, Chakotay recruited Tom to help him clean the kitchen while B'Elanna and Janeway retreated to the living room to talk. The captain had given Tom and B'Elanna a condensed version of her reason for leaving Starfleet and seeking out Chakotay, then had brought all three of them up to date on Voyager's crew. Once the men had left the room, however, B'Elanna at last addressed the reason for Janeway's presence.
"I can't tell how glad I am that you're here," she declared. "I've never seen Chakotay this happy. He finally seems to be at peace."
Janeway smiled. "I could say the same about you," she observed. "Impending motherhood seems to agree with you."
B'Elanna flushed. "I hope so. Tom and I still argue about almost everything, but I know he loves me, and I love him. Nothing else really matters."
"No, it doesn't," Janeway agreed.
"Captain, may I tell you something, friend to friend?"
"Of course."
"I don't know what made you change your mind about Chakotay, but never doubt that you made the right decision, because he loves you with a passion I've never seen. Don't let anyone or anything take that away from you."
Janeway flashed the younger woman a warm smile, and gave her arm an affectionate squeeze. "I won't, B'Elanna. You have my word on that."
Meanwhile in the kitchen, Tom and Chakotay were engaged in a discussion similar to B'Elanna and Janeway's.
"So is the captain here to stay?" Tom questioned.
"She doesn't know yet," Chakotay answered. "She has some personal issues to resolve before she makes a final decision."
"But you two are together for the long haul now, right?" Tom pressed.
"It looks that way," Chakotay allowed.
"Good. I know you and I have had our differences, Chakotay, but I'm truly happy that you and Captain Janeway have finally found each other."
Chakotay afforded Tom a small smile. "Thanks, Tom. It will mean a lot to Kathryn that we have your blessing."
Their cleaning complete, Tom and Chakotay headed out of the kitchen to join the women in the living room, positioning themselves next to their respective significant others.
"You two looked awfully chummy while we were doing dishes," Tom remarked. "Care to tell us what you were talking about?"
"Just a little girl talk, Lieutenant," Janeway evaded.
"As long as we're on the subject of girls," B'Elanna began, "Tom and I have decided on a name for the one we're having: Cassandra Michelle."
"That's a beautiful name," Janeway declared.
"Too bad her parents are so funny-looking," Chakotay added, earning him an admonishing glance from Janeway.
"So, Captain, what do you think of our little piece of paradise?" Tom asked.
"Actually, I haven't had a chance to see much of it," Janeway answered. "The storm didn't exactly enhance sightseeing conditions."
"Well, since your host seems to be slacking off in his entertainment duties, why don't B'Elanna and I give you a tour?"
"I'd like that, Tom, thank you."
The group got to their feet and started for the door.
"What do they use for transportation here?" Janeway asked.
"Ground based vehicles similar to the automobiles used on ancient Earth," Chakotay told her, then lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Unfortunately Tom's driving skills are slightly less exceptional than his piloting skills."
"I heard that," Tom shot back.
That evening, the group had finished Janeway's tour and was now strolling through the center of town. The locals were well acquainted with B'Elanna, Tom and Chakotay, and the three had made many friends during their year on the colony. Yet Janeway's presence had drawn a few curious looks, and as they passed a small tavern, a large woman at least fifty years old came bustling outside to block their path.
"Shame on you, Chakotay!" she scolded, her voice laced with a thick, Hispanic-like accent. "You bring your lovely lady into town to show her off and you do not come to my place to introduce us. If you were not so tall, I would turn you over my knee!"
Chakotay managed an embarrassed smile. "I didn't forget you, Rosa," he assured her. "I was merely saving the best for last."
Rosa's expression made it clear she wasn't buying his explanation, and she shot him a knowing look before addressing Janeway. "I am Rosa," she declared, "and you must be Kathryn."
"How did you know?" Janeway queried.
Rosa gave her a warm smile. "One night many months ago, a very sad Chakotay could talk of little else but a woman named Kathryn with dark blue eyes," she clarified softly. "He referred to you as the light of his life, and said losing you had cost him a piece of his soul that he could never recover. I am glad to see he has gotten it back."
Rosa's explanation caused the captain's eyes to well with tears, and she tightened her hand around Chakotay's as she responded with a simple, "Thank you."
Rosa shifted her attention to B'Elanna. "And how are you this evening, my little Mama? The babe is well?"
"She's a little restless, but otherwise she's fine," B'Elanna told her.
Rosa jerked a thumb at Tom. "Is this one still driving you loco?"
"She wouldn't have it any other way," Tom answered, and slid an arm around his wife's waist.
"Why don't all of you come inside?" Rosa invited. "I will fix you my special coconut shrimp and we will celebrate the reunion of Chakotay and his ladylove."
Their conversation was interrupted by a sudden clap of thunder, followed a moment later by a flash of lightning.
"Here we go again," Tom muttered.
"It looks like we're going to have to take a literal rain check on that celebration, Rosa," Chakotay said. "If we don't start back now we won't make it home before the storm hits."
"I expect all of you back here once the rains have stopped," Rosa told them. "Kathryn and I have much to talk about."
"We'll be here," Chakotay promised.
Tossing off a farewell to Rosa, the group headed back to their car.
Later that night, a restless Janeway eased herself out of bed and pulled on her robe before heading downstairs. Wandering into the living room, the captain crossed over to stand in front of the large window that encompassed two-thirds of the wall, affording a perfect view of the ocean some two hundred yards away. As she stared out at the sea, her thoughts drifted back to the comment Rosa had made upon their meeting.
He referred to you as the light of his life, and said losing you had cost him a piece of his soul that he could never recover.
At the time, the import of the remark had not registered, but recalling it now made Janeway realize just how much emotional damage their separation had done to her as well.
I was so worried about saving him it didn't occur to me that I was also indirectly saving myself,she pondered silently. How would I ever have survived the rest of my life without him in it?
Her musings were disrupted by Chakotay, who came up behind her and placed a light kiss on the nape of her neck as he slid his arms around her waist.
"Tired of me already?" he taunted lightly.
"Not hardly."
"What are you doing down here?"
Janeway turned around to face him. "I was just thinking about what Rosa said earlier, about why she knew who I was. It didn't register until today what losing you did to me, and it frightens me to know how close I came to having to live the rest of my life with that emptiness in my heart."
"It frightens me just as much to think how close I came to living the rest of my life without you," Chakotay responded quietly. "I'd rather die than have to live through that pain again."
Janeway flashed him a loving smile. "There's a third part to that ancient legend you're so fond of," she revealed. "After many months away from the angry warrior she had come love, the woman warrior realized that her entire soul belonged to him, so she left her tribe to return it to him, and that was how she learned the true meaning of peace."
Chakotay returned her smile, and pulled her into his embrace. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"
"I love you, too, Chakotay."
"Care to prove it?"
"It would be my pleasure."
Three months passed, and with the exception of the arrival of Cassandra Michelle Paris, life on Kalmaar remained uneventful. As Tom and B'Elanna basked in the joy of parenthood, Janeway and Chakotay basked in the joy of at last being together, falling deeper in love every day. Yet despite their happiness, a single proverbial cloud hovered like a shadow over Janeway and Chakotay: her unresolved issues with Starfleet. Following their conversation the night Janeway arrived at Chakotay's home, the lovers had not discussed the subject again. But as the days passed, his increasing anxiety over what her decision would mean to them caused Chakotay to at last broach the topic.
"As wonderful as the past several weeks have been, we can't continue to ignore the underlying issue about why you're here," Chakotay declared over breakfast one morning.
"I haven't ignored it," Janeway countered. "I've been...avoiding it."
"A rose by any other name."
"I know."
"So have you made a decision?"
"As a matter of fact I have," Janeway revealed. "I've decided to resign."
"Are you sure that's what you want?"
"Yes," Janeway assured him. "I believe in Starfleet, Chakotay, and everything it represents. I enjoyed being an officer, especially a captain, and I wouldn't change that even if I could. But I've reached a point in my life where I don't want it to revolve around my career. What we have is the most important thing in my life, and I won't jeopardize or sacrifice it for Starfleet."
"You wouldn't necessarily have to," Chakotay countered. "We can relocate to a planet that's closer to Earth but still outside of Federation space."
"And try to build a life in between my assignments? I don't think so."
"It worked well enough for you and Mark."
"On the surface, yes it did," Janeway allowed. "But deep down I'm sure part of Mark resented having to play second string to my career. I don't want that for us, Chakotay. We've spent too much time apart as it is to try and have a part-time relationship."
"Kathryn, don't base your decision on what's best for us; base it on what's best for you."
"What's best for us is what's best for me," Janeway responded.
Chakotay permitted himself a small sigh. "Are you absolutely certain that this is what you want?" he pressed.
"I've never been more certain of anything in my life."
"Oh, I don't know...your decision to form an alliance with the Borg seemed pretty certain to me," Chakotay countered lightly.
"Very funny."
"Now that you've made your decision, how do you intend to pass it along to Starfleet Command?"
"I made arrangements with Tuvok before I left Voyager that if he didn't hear from me in six months, he should forward my resignation to Nechayev."
"There is a remote chance that she'll refuse to accept it," Chakotay cautioned.
"I can't imagine why," Janeway said. "She and I have been at odds with each other from the day we met, so she'll probably be ecstatic at the chance to be rid of me."
"She doesn't have to like you to recognize your professional abilities, Kathryn, and Starfleet doesn't exactly have an abundance of qualified rank officers after their war with the Dominion."
"Maybe they should have thought of that before they kicked you out of the service," Janeway countered.
Chakotay shook his head. "Do you always have to have the last word?"
"Only ninety-nine percent of the time," Janeway declared. "Now, since we've settled that issue, I have a riddle for you: What do you get when you cross a Maquis rebel with a Starfleet Captain?"
"A freedom fighter who looks good in uniform?" Chakotay suggested dryly.
"No, but I'll give you a hint. There's only two possible answers."
"And those would be?"
Janeway smiled. "A boy or a girl."
It took a moment for Janeway's answer to register, and when it did, Chakotay shot her a surprised look. "You're pregnant?" he prompted incredulously.
Janeway nodded in silent confirmation, earning her a delighted yell from Chakotay. Getting to his feet, Chakotay walked around the table and pulled her into his arms, then gave her a deep, lingering kiss. After several minutes, Chakotay broke off the kiss and lifted his hands to cup her face. "We're having a baby," he whispered in wonderment.
The reverence in his tone brought tears to Janeway's eyes, and in a deliberate imitation of his favorite gesture, she gently placed her hand against his cheek.
"I love you," she said softly.
"I love you."
A knock at the door signaled the arrival of an unexpected visitor, and Chakotay shot Janeway a questioning look. "Are you expecting anyone?"
"No; I was planning on enjoying a quiet day alone with you."
Chakotay smiled. "Hold that thought."
Chakotay wandered over the door, and swung it open to reveal a familiar friend standing on the doorstep. "Tuvok..."
"Good morning, Commander," the Vulcan greeted formally. "I am glad to see you are well."
"I'm very well, thank you. Come on in."
Chakotay stepped aside to allow Tuvok entry, and he walked into the living room just as Janeway emerged from the kitchen. "I thought I recognized your voice," she replied.
"Captain. It is good to see you again."
"What are you doing here?" Janeway questioned.
"I am here at the request of President Tanar," Tuvok replied.
"She's decided to imprison the Maquis after all?" Chakotay prompted lightly.
The jest earned Chakotay an admonishing look from Janeway and the Vulcan equivalent of a scowl from Tuvok, then the Vulcan continued.
"At the behest of several individuals within Starfleet Command as well as the various governments represented by the Federation, the Council has revoked your exile."
It a moment for Tuvok's announcement to sink in, and when it did, Janeway and Chakotay exchanged an astonished look before returning their attention to Tuvok.
"When did this happen?" Janeway asked. "When I left Earth five months ago, no one said a word about this to me."
"Given your personal connection to the Maquis who had served with you, the Admiralty felt it would be best not to tell you of the efforts being made to reverse the Council's verdict," Tuvok told her.
"How long has this been going on?" Janeway pressed.
"Approximately one year after the Council rendered its original verdict, President Tanar was presented with a Petition for Exoneration, requesting that the Maquis be cleared of all charges and allowed to return to Federation space."
"Which members of Starfleet Command signed it?" Chakotay prompted.
"There were over two dozen signatures, among them those of Admirals Owen Paris and Alynna Nechayev."
"Nechayev?" Chakotay echoed.
"It looks like she's gotten over your defection to the Maquis after all," Janeway remarked.
"Obviously."
"Captain, Starfleet Command has requested that you resume command of Voyager, then escort Commander Chakotay and the Paris' back to Earth," Tuvok informed her. "The remainder of the exiled officers will be taken there as well, and once they are all present, the Council will convene to formally restore their commissions. Additionally, President Tanar intends to issue a formal apology to the colonists whose homeworlds were relinquished to the Cardassians as a result of the treaty."
Janeway shook her head. "This is unbelievable...." she mumbled.
"Hey, Chakotay," Tom called out from behind them. "Why is the front door...open...Tuvok?"
"Good morning, Mister Paris, B'Elanna," Tuvok greeted, then noticed Cassandra in B'Elanna's arms. "I see that I do not need to ask what you have been doing for the past seventeen months."
"It's nice to see you, too," B'Elanna retorted.
"What are you doing here?" Tom questioned.
As Tuvok began to explain the reason for his presence to Tom and B'Elanna, Janeway gestured for Chakotay to follow her outside. Once they were alone, she shot him a concerned glance. "Are you okay with this?" she prompted.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"You have an awfully short memory, Chakotay," Janeway chided. "Does the remark, 'I've had enough of war and Federation bureaucracy to last me two lifetimes' ring a bell?"
"Ah. Well, I'm not looking forward to having to take orders from a group of people whose IQ's aren't much higher than their shoe size, but I must admit the idea of having the chance to say 'I told you so' to Starfleet Command has a certain appeal."
Janeway smiled. "I'm sure it does."
"There is one problem that we haven't considered yet, though."
"Which is?"
"Starfleet has strict rules about husbands and wives serving on the same ship."
Janeway quirked one delicate eyebrow. "Are you suggesting that we let a group of people whose IQ's aren't much higher than their shoe size dictate how we conduct our personal lives?" she prompted.
Chakotay allowed himself a faint smile. "I would never dream of it."
"I'm glad to hear it. Now, since we've settled that issue, I believe there's a small matter of a marriage proposal to take care of."
Chakotay's expression grew serious as he took Janeway's hand in his before getting down on one knee. "Once upon a time there was an angry warrior who lived his life driven by hate, and his rage burned like a fire in his soul. Then one day he encountered a beautiful woman who inspired him to put out that fire, and live his life for her. Now the angry warrior is a man of peace who wants to share his soul with that woman, always. I love you, Kathryn Janeway. Will you marry me?"
Her eyes filled with tears, Janeway flashed Chakotay an adoring smile. "I would be honored," she declared solemnly. "I love you."
Rising to his feet, Chakotay pulled her into his arms.
STARFLEET HEADQUARTERS, SAN FRANCISCO -- TEN WEEKS LATER
Sequestered in her office, Alynna Nechayev was reviewing a message from her chief of staff when the door chimed, and the Admiral bade her visitor enter. The door opened to admit Chakotay, and he strode inside.
"Commander Chakotay," Nechayev greeted. "This is a surprise."
"Not an unpleasant one, I hope," Chakotay returned.
"Not at all," Nechayev assured him. "I hear through the grapevine that you and Commodore Janeway are expecting an addition to your family in about four months. Congratulations."
"Thank you."
"Speaking of which, shouldn't the two of you be leaving for your honeymoon about now?"
"Kathryn's waiting for me in Admiral Paris' office," Chakotay said. "We didn't want to leave without thanking you both for what you did."
Nechayev gave him a small smile. "I'm not the ogre my reputation would lead you to believe, Chakotay," she chided. "Granted you and I--and your wife and I for that matter--have had our differences, but I admire you both a great deal. To have gone through what the two of you did and still emerge with your careers and relationship intact is quite commendable."
"Thank you, but we couldn't have done it without your help. If you and Admiral Paris hadn't supported the Petition for Exoneration, Kathryn and I would still be on Kalmaar."
"There are worse places you could have been forced to live out your life, Commander," Nechayev demurred. "The Delta Quadrant, for starters."
"Nonetheless we wanted you to know how grateful we are," Chakotay responded. "We owe you more than we can possibly repay."
"Just keep Voyager in our quadrant and we'll call it even," Nechayev returned dryly, earning her a smile from Chakotay.
"Consider it done."
Without waiting for a response, Chakotay exited Nechayev's office. As he started for Paris' office, he spotted Janeway coming towards him, and met her halfway. Husband and wife exchanged a kiss, then Chakotay slid an arm around Janeway's thickened waist as they resumed their walk down the hall. "How'd you do with Admiral Paris?" he asked.
"He sends his regards, and asked us to help keep an eye on his newest grandchild," Janeway answered.
"He should have asked us to keep an eye on Tom," Chakotay countered dryly.
Janeway shook her head. "Some things never change," she mumbled. "How did things go with Nechayev?"
"She sends her congratulations on the baby, and asked us to keep our ship in this quadrant."
Janeway snorted. "I should have seen that coming," she stated. "Still, it does make me wonder how things would have turned out if we hadn't made it home."
Chakotay stopped in his tracks and turned Janeway around to face him. "As long as we're together, Kathryn, we are home," he said pointedly.
Janeway flashed him a loving smile, and slid her arms around his neck. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"
Chakotay returned her smile. "I love you, too, but based on the looks we're getting from the powers that be passing by, I think we should continue this discussion on the ship."
Janeway responded by pressing her body closer to his. "Are you going to let a group of people whose IQ's aren't much higher than their shoe size dictate how we conduct our personal lives?" she challenged.
"I would never dream of it," Chakotay declared, and lowered his head to give his wife a passionate kiss.
**************************************
To be continued in, "Filling In The Blanks...".