"A Separate Peace"
by Andra Marie Mueller

PART SIXTEEN : 'Surrender' (NC-17)

SUMMARY : Kathryn and Chakotay at last give into their feelings for one another

See Part one for author's notes and disclaimer

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Late that evening, Chakotay returned home just as a crack of thunder signaled the arrival of another storm. Although it had been raining on and off for the past week, there had not been another full blown thunderstorm until this evening. Wandering into the living room, Chakotay found the last remnants of a fire crackling in the fireplace, but otherwise the house was completely quiet.

Assuming Janeway to be asleep, Chakotay went about his business as quietly as possible, stoking the fire before making himself dinner and changing into sleepwear. Replicating himself a mug of hot chocolate, he seated himself in front of the fire, the day’s events weighing heavily on his mind.

Seska may have been high-maintenance, but I never would have taken her for a traitor, he mused silently. Maybe it’s the Sky Spirits way of evening things out because I’ve been spying for Starfleet.

"You look like a man thinking deep thoughts," a familiar voice offered from the darkness.

Chakotay looked up to discover Janeway standing a couple of feet away, and flashed her a warm smile. "I thought you were sleeping," he said.

Janeway returned the smile. "Between the storm and its accompanying sound effects, sleep wasn’t an option," she replied lightly. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"Not at all."

Janeway settled herself next to him, then gestured at his mug. "Hot chocolate, I presume?"

"Yes. Marshmallow-free but with just a dash of whipped cream."

"As I recall, you take your coffee with a dash of whipped cream as well, along with a sprinkle of cinnamon."

"And you favor black coffee."

"Actually, every now and then I’ve been known to add just a sprinkle of cinnamon to give it a little extra zing."

"Well, it’s nice to know something from our time together proved useful for you," Chakotay remarked dryly.

"Have you been able to determine where Seska was sending the transmission?" Janeway asked, having gotten the full story of Seska’s duplicity earlier that day while in the infirmary with Chakotay.

"Not yet. As soon as Tom discovered what she was doing, she severed the signal. B’Elanna spent most of the day trying to trace its destination, but Seska covered her tracks very well."

"Were you able to get any information out of her?"

"Unfortunately not. I’m going to give her a few days to cooperate, than I’ll have Julian give her something to loosen her tongue."

Janeway shook her head. "I wish I had something useful to offer, but unfortunately it looks like we’re going to have to watch and wait."

"Looks that way." Chakotay took a final swig of cocoa before placing his mug on a nearby coffee table. "So, did you come downstairs to talk or merely to bask in the glory of my presence?"

"To talk. I’ve been thinking about what you told me ten days ago, and I have to admit it threw me for a loop."

"Nothing like finding out one of the bad guys is really on your side," Chakotay quipped.

Janeway ignored the jibe. "I was referring to the part when you told me that you love me," she corrected. "Is it true?"

"It’s the one thing in my life that always has been."

"Then why did you break off our engagement all those years ago?"

"Because what we had was the only part of my life left untouched after the Cardassians destroyed Dorvan Five. I wasn’t willing to risk letting it get lost or destroyed by bringing you into this mess."

"Yet here I am."

"Bringing you here was a mistake, Kathryn, and I am truly sorry. Once this business with Seska is cleared up, I’ll make arrangements for you to be returned to Federation space."

Janeway’s eyebrows arched in surprise. "Where is that coming from?"

Chakotay afforded her a brief glance. "The day after my accident we agreed that you weren’t my prisoner, yet forcing you to stay here for a month contradicts that. I’ve done enough emotional damage to you. It’s time I attempted to rectify at least part of that by letting you go."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"What if I don’t want to go?"

Chakotay’s dark eyes bored into hers. "What are you saying?"

"I’m saying that I love you, Chakotay; a part of me always has. I was just too hurt and angry to see it."

"Kathryn…"

With a groan that was half-despair, half-desire, Chakotay pulled Janeway into his lap and lowered his head to kiss her. Whatever vestiges of control Janeway had been exercising during their first kiss ten days ago seemed to have vanished, and she pressed her body to Chakotay’s as he deepened the kiss. After several minutes, however, Chakotay forced himself to pull back, then lifted his hands to gently cup her face.

"Be absolutely certain that this is what you want, Kathryn," he instructed, his voice thick with passion. "If we make love, there’s no way in hell I’m going to let you go. Its forever this time."

Janeway smiled, and leaned over until her mouth was less than an inch from his, then whispered, "I wouldn’t have it any other way."

Chakotay returned her smile before pulling her to him. His mouth covered hers, tongues tasting and dancing as he divested her of her clothing before shedding his own. Their first full body contact sent flames of desire shooting through them, and Chakotay reluctantly broke off their kiss to gaze upon Kathryn. Her face flushed with a mixture of desire and shyness, she felt her nipples harden in response to his silent scrutiny.

"You are so beautiful..." he murmured.

Pressing a kiss to the nape of her neck, he placed a series of light kisses across her throat and down her chest as they sank to the floor, where his mouth claimed the erect tip of one of her breasts. The sensation elicited an answering moan from Kathryn, who threaded her hands through his hair as he suckled, his tongue lavishing the rosy peak while his hands explored elsewhere. One hand rested on her other breast; the thumb brushing against the nipple as his teeth gently tugged on the one in his mouth. His free hand slowly trailed down one slim hip before making its way to the juncture between her thighs, finding her warm and wet. Careful not to lose his hold on her breast, Chakotay slowly slid two fingers deep into her folds, feeling an answering rush of wetness as her muscles contracted around him.

"Oh, God...Chakotay...please..."

Reluctantly abandoning her breast, he continued to stroke her core as he trailed a series of wet kisses down her belly before replacing his hand with his mouth. At the first flick of his tongue against her pulsing clitoris, she arched against him, clutching at his hair while he brought her closer and closer to the edge. Her moans now barely audible whimpers, Chakotay continued his ministrations, his hands teasing her nipples while his tongue lavished her most sensitive spot. A gentle tug on her clit with his teeth sent her flying into oblivion, her body shuddering with the force of her climax as her world shattered into a thousand pieces. The final contractions had yet to subside when she felt his erection press against her and he claimed her mouth in a searing kiss as he slid into her. Once he was fully encased in her sheath, he froze for the briefest of moments, wanting to savor the sensation for as long as possible. But feeling the residual contractions from her release pulsing against him, Chakotay began to move inside of her. They moved in tandem, their bodies mating in perfect harmony, until Kathryn let out a strangled cry and arched against him, reaching a second soul shattering climax a split second before Chakotay. Afterwards, too exhausted to move and somewhat overwhelmed by the intensity of their combined responses, they simply lay in one another's embrace in companionable silence before eventually drifting off to sleep.

 

 

CARDASSIAN WARSHIP VENGEANCE

The soldier at the communications station was running a routine scan of subspace when his sensors detected an incoming message, and he addressed his commander.

"Gul Evek, we’re receiving an encrypted message on a secured military frequency," he announced.

"Let’s hear it, Goren," Evek instructed.

Goren ran a hand along his panel, and a moment later a female voice filtered into the air.

"This is Seska, Second Charl of the Obsidian Order, to any Cardassian military vessel that receives this message. I am transmitting from the Cornellia Colony located in the Badlands, the coordinates of which will follow this transmission. This planet is the home base for the Maquis Fleet, and currently has three Maquis warships located at a landing pad on the far side of the colony. Aside from approximately two hundred Maquis rebels populating the planet, there is also a Starfleet captain present. The colony’s isolation makes it an ideal target for attack…"

Seska’s voice stopped in mid-sentence as the transmission was abruptly ended, and Evek glanced questioningly at Goren.

"Where’s the rest of it?" he demanded.

"That’s all there is, sir," Goren answered. "It cuts off in mid-message."

"Were you able to get the coordinates for the colony Seska spoke of?" Evek prompted.

"No, sir. The message was aborted before the coordinates were sent."

Evek muttered a profanity under his breath before responding. "Well, there aren’t too many colonies in the Badlands," he remarked. "I suppose we’ll just have to strike them all. Send a message to Gul Dukat and Gul Kezet; inform them of Seska’s message and instruct them to meet us in the Badlands."

"Yes, sir."

CORNELLIA COLONY

Early the following morning, Kathryn awoke in Chakotay’s bed to find him already awake and watching her. They had come together several times over the course of the night, each time as incredibly passionate as the first. She smiled at him in silent invitation, and he leaned over to give her a warm kiss before speaking.

"Good morning."

"Good morning," Janeway echoed. "How long have you been up?"

"I never went to sleep," Chakotay answered. "I was afraid if I did, I would wake up and discover last night was just a dream."

Janeway felt her heart constrict at his remark. "I love you," she declared softly.

"I love you."

The two exchanged another kiss just as a clap of thunder announced the arrival of yet another storm, producing an involuntary flinch from Janeway. A moment later they heard the sound of heavy rainfall lashing against the roof.

"Sounds like another beautiful day," Janeway grumbled sarcastically.

"At least we have a legitimate excuse to stay inside," Chakotay replied.

Janeway tilted her head to meet his mischievous gaze. "And what do you propose we do while we’re housebound?" she asked innocently.

Chakotay shrugged. "Well, the furniture could use a good dusting…" he began, earning him a swat with the pillow from Janeway.

"I’d be careful about starting things you’re not prepared to finish, Captain," Chakotay cautioned. "I happen to be an expert at pillow fights."

"Part of the Maquis enlistment requirements?" Janeway taunted.

"One of the most important," Chakotay returned with mock solemnity. "Right up there with being able to take out a Cardy from 500 yards and not drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows in it."

Janeway let out a hearty laugh, and Chakotay flashed her a loving smile.

"I’ve missed that," he said quietly.

"What?"

"Your laugh. I used to lie awake at night and remember the sound of your laugh, the smell of your hair, the feel of your body beneath mine. I’d wonder where you were, if you were happy. Sometimes I missed you so much it was like a physical ache, and I thought I would lose my mind."

Janeway’s amusement faded, and she lifted her hand to place her palm gently against his cheek.

"For a long time after we broke up, I would force myself to remember the sound of your voice, the touch of your hands, the way your eyes light up when you smile. I would look out at the stars and wonder if you were alive, if you were missing me. Sometimes I thought that if I wished hard enough, I could make you come back to me."

"I was a fool to ever think I could live without you," Chakotay declared. "I’m just sorry it took me fifteen years to realize it."

"Better late than never."

Chakotay smiled. "I agree. Do you want some breakfast?"

"Actually, I’m not hungry. Maybe I just haven’t worked up an appetite yet."

"Really…maybe we should do something about that."

"Did you have something specific in mind?"

"Most definitely."

 

Later that morning, the storm had subsided long enough for the couple to venture outside, and they wandered down to the beach. They strolled hand in hand along the shore in companionable silence for several minutes before Chakotay brought up the subject he dreaded most.

"Have you thought about how you’re going to break the news about us to Mark?" he asked casually.

Janeway sighed. "In some ways facing him is going to be harder than facing my parents," she replied. "Mark and I were friends for a long time before we became lovers, and that relationship has always been very important to me. I never should have jeopardized it by allowing it to turn into something more."

"Then why did you?" Chakotay prompted.

"When we separated, I initially avoided relationships altogether in order to give myself a chance to heal. I tried to bury myself in my work, but it eventually became apparent that I had an emotional void that needed to be filled. I was still hurting, and I was lonely, so I decided to accept what Mark had to offer. But even if you and I hadn’t crossed paths again, I doubt I would have accepted his proposal. I do love him, but I’m not in love with him; knowing that, it wouldn’t be fair to marry him."

"You realize that by now he will have heard about what I’ve done."

"I know, and I’ll deal with it when I get back to Earth."

"We need to decide how to resolve our professional issues," Chakotay replied. "As much as I love you and want to be with you, I’m no more willing to have a part-time relationship now than I was sixteen years ago."

"You could always make your return to Starfleet public knowledge," Janeway suggested. "Continue your work with them in an official capacity."

"That’s not an option, Kathryn. My reasons for leaving Starfleet are still valid, and working with them hasn’t resolved any of those issues. I’ve given a third of my life to the Maquis, and the bonds I’ve forged with the people around me can’t be severed."

"Those bonds will always be a part of you, Chakotay. But you’ve given fifteen years of your life to this war; maybe it’s time to let someone else continue the fight."

"Such as Starfleet?" Chakotay prompted. "Their refusal to acknowledge the real situation with Cardassia is what created the Maquis in the first place."

Janeway sighed. "I don’t know what you want me to say, Chakotay. Fifteen years ago I loved you enough to let you break my heart and walk out of my life without a fight. I’m not willing to do that now. The Federation, the Maquis and the Cardassians can play their war games until hell freezes over, but I’m not letting any of them take you away from me a second time."

Chakotay flashed her a warm smile and lifted his hand to lightly caress her cheek.

"I promised you last night that it was forever this time, and I meant it," he assured her. "I just haven’t figured out how I’m going to manage it yet. Our reconciliation notwithstanding, I can go on hiding the truth from my people for only so long. Eventually they will discover I’m working with Starfleet, and the revelation should come from me."

"I retract my statement of ten days ago," Janeway said with a smile. "Your code of ethics is just fine as it is."

"Thank you for saying so."

"When do you plan on telling everyone?"

"Not for a couple of days. I have to tell Gray Feather and Red Hawk first. After that, I’ll call a meeting and give the others the news at the same time."

"I don’t know if it will make things better or worse, but I’d like to be with you when you tell them," Janeway requested.

"I’d like that, too," Chakotay replied, and bent over to give her a light kiss.

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Part 17