"Revelations"
by Andra Marie Mueller

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story takes place immediately after m.c. moose's"Lies Our Father Told Us" series and was written with her permission.

Disclaimer: Paramount is the legal owner of the characters of 'Star Trek: Voyager'. I just borrow them for my own nefarious purposes and to give them real lives

**********************************

Still uncertain of the reason for her presence, Chakotay followed Kathryn into the center of his living room. "Do you want something to drink?" he offered.

"I'm fine, thank you."

He nodded, then gestured for her to seat herself on the couch as he settled into a chair across from her. "So, your mystery letter was from Phoebe?"

"Yes."

"That's going to play havoc with Tom's betting pool. Your sister wasn't even on his list of 'suspects'."

She smiled. "Funny you should put it that way. According the information Phoebe gave me, certain aspects of my service in Starfleet have been based on a lie."

"I'm not following you."

"What would you say if I told you I've discovered that Starfleet directly and covertly manipulated three of the most catastrophic events of my life?"

Surprise flickered across his handsome face. "Really...which instances are you referring to?"

"The first on was my capture by Cardassians during my tenure on the Icarus," Kathryn began. "It turns out that Starfleet deliberately used us as bait in an attempt to obtain the technology the Cardassians use in their 'interrogations'. Behind closed doors the powers that be knew the treaty with Cardassia wasn't worth the PADD it was drafted on and they hoped that by obtaining the devices the Cardassians used to torture their prisoners it would give them an edge when it came time to do battle."

"So they sent an admiral with minimal tactical knowledge and a wet behind the ears ensign into a potentially fatal situation just to one up the Cardassians in an unofficial technowar? That's absurd. What were you supposed to do, take notes on which torture techniques were the most effective and ask the Cardassians to give you the equipment once they were done with you?"

"That's an oversimplification, but the kernel is there."

"Typical fleet bureaucracy,' Chakotay muttered. "When the shit hits the fan it doesn't matter who gets caught in the crossfire just as long as they come up smelling of roses."

"I just might quote you on that when we get home," Kathryn teased.

"You said there were three events," he reminded her. "What were the other two?"

A shadow of pain flickered across her elegant features. "The second was the crash of the Terra Nova that killed Justin and my father. Apparently Starfleet Command felt that the Cardassians would be less interested in the Federation's new assault ship if they learned that the prototype 'failed' its test flight. In their infinite wisdom they rigged the shuttle so that only a minimum of the ship's systems were functional, but the transporter wasn't among them. So, when the ship crashed and I spent those last moments trying vainly to transport my father and Justin out, I was literally and figuratively wasting my time."

A beat. "Did your father know?"

Kathryn sighed. "I don't know for certain, but it was his suggestion that placed me in the cockpit of the ship the day it crashed."

"I'm sorry."

"So am I."

He flashed her a faint smile of reassurance before continuing. "Two down, one to go. What was their third strike?"

Kathryn shifted her gaze to meet his. "You," she said simply.

Chakotay frowned. "Excuse me?"

"Starfleet manipulated the data in your records so that several of the more brutal 'unclaimed' Maquis assaults were attributed to your crew," Kathryn told him. "They deliberately altered the information to help increase my motivation to track you down."

"Why?"

"After your ship disappeared, Starfleet Command became convinced that it was due to some secret superweapon the Cardassians had developed. With the treaty on the verge of collapse, they didn't want to instigate the war by tossing out accusations, but they were determined to discover what it was they thought the Cardassians were hiding. So with Tuvok among the missing, they had a legitimate reason to send me to search in the Badlands."

Chakotay snorted. "Like they needed an excuse to send you on a witch hunt after the Maquis," he replied. "Although it certainly explains why you were so hesitant to trust me in the beginning. Nothing like having to sit next to someone every day while wondering if he plans to murder you in your sleep."

Kathryn shot him a surprised glance, astonished that his own assessment of their early relationship so closely mirrored hers. Has four years of serving at my side given him that much of an insight into my mind? she wondered idly. Shaking off her wayward thoughts, she returned to the subject at hand. "I admit I was wary of you at first, but you've proven yourself a thousand times over. To me your past is no longer an issue."

He smiled. "I just might quote you on that when we get home."

She chuckled. "Touché."

"Just out of morbid curiosity, who gave the orders to take Voyager to the Badlands?"

"Admirals Nechayev and Paris."

"Paris?" Chakotay echoed. "He sent his own son into a possible death trap?"

"Apparently so."

"Unbelievable..." he mumbled. "Are you going to tell Tom?"

"No. It would serve no purpose other than to reopen old wounds. He's happy here; he's made friends and found B'Elanna. Better for him to live the lie."

Kathryn paused then, awaiting Chakotay's reaction and hoping fervently he would not press the issue or force her to order him into secrecy. Don't blow us out of the water before we've even started to paddle just because you're feeling noble, Chakotay, she pleaded silently.

To her immense relief, his only response was a curt nod before he switched subjects. "How are you doing with all of this? I can't imagine knowing what you do now hasn't altered your perception of Starfleet."

"It has," Kathryn allowed, "but not to the extent you might expect. I've been in Starfleet my entire adult life, Chakotay, and I learned a long time ago that they aren't as lily white as the powers that be want us to believe. Yes, it disturbs me that they could so obviously sacrifice their own to make the ends justify the means. But every war has its casualties, and frankly in their position I may have done some of the same things."

"I doubt it," Chakotay said.

She smiled at that. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"My pleasure."

"I suppose the bottom line in all of this is that the proverbial wool has been lifted from eyes, I can see things more clearly; Starfleet, my career, my life. And I realize that adhering to Starfleet's principles doesn't mean sacrificing my own, or ignoring the fact that I'm a woman as well as a captain."

He cast her a cautious glance. "And that means...what, exactly?"

"Exactly...I don't know. But in theory, it means that I am no longer going to tap dance around what I feel for you just because it might get some admiral's knickers in a twist when we get home. I need more in my life than protocol; I need you."

Chakotay's dark eyes widened in surprise but he offered no verbal response.

"You didn't expect me to admit it," Kathryn replied.

"No."

She smiled. "Nice to know I still have a few surprises left."

"Not if you plan on resurrecting your 'defining parameters' mantra," Chakotay countered lightly.

"May I assume that means you're agreeable to the idea?"

"Most agreeable."

"I'm glad. It would have been a terrible blow to my ego if I had been forced to get down on my knees and grovel."

"Now there's an interesting visual."

"Don't even go there, Commander."

"Aye, Captain."

**************************************

The End.