"Twice Blessed"
by Andra Marie Mueller

Disclaimer: Paramount is the legal owner of the characters of 'Star Trek: Voyager'. I just borrow them for my own nefarious purposes and to give them real lives

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Home. Funny how such a simple word could hold so much meaning. For ten years, it had been the impossible dream, the distant star that the crew of Voyager strove for but could never reach. Yet a routine investigation of subspace turbulence led to the discovery of a spatial rift-a small crack in the fabric of normal space-which had proven to be a proverbial "back door" to the Alpha Quadrant. A few adjustments to the shields, a five minute cruise on maximum impulse, and the U.S.S. Voyager reappeared in Federation space, a few light-years shy of Starbase 95. Messages had been delivered to family and friends informing them of the crew's return, and Kathryn had spoken briefly with both her mother and her sister.

Starfleet Command had ordered Voyager to Earth, where the ship would undergo a complete overhaul while its crew enjoyed a much needed month-long personal leave. Although some of her crew would be reassigned, thankfully Kathryn's senior staff was allowed to remain intact, though more than few eyebrows had raised upon learning that Kathryn and Chakotay-as well as Tom and B'Elanna-were married.

"Understandable under the circumstances," was the response from Alynna Nechayev. "As long as they continue to balance their personal and professional relationships accordingly, I see no reason why they shouldn't be allowed to remain on the same ship."

Satisfied that all was well with her ship and crew, Kathryn had turned her thoughts toward unfinished personal business. While obviously delighted to be reunited with Gretchen and Phoebe-who seemed equally delighted with Chakotay-Kathryn felt an inexplicable need to see Mark Johnson. Despite the fact they were both now married to other people, a part of her needed the closure 70,000 light years had cheated them of. To her surprise, Chakotay had agreed.

"He was a part of your life for nearly forty years, Kathryn. It's perfectly natural that you want to see him and say a proper goodbye."

So, with her husband's blessing, Kathryn had contacted Mark and arranged to meet him for coffee and conversation. Chakotay had accompanied her to Mark's, than wished her luck and gave her a brief kiss before returning to Gretchen's. Bear was dozing on the porch when he approached, and her tail wagged in greeting.

"Sorry for disturbing you, old girl," he said, and knelt down to give her a light pat. "Go back to sleep."

The setter obediently lowered her head and released a heavy canine sigh before resuming her slumber. Smiling to himself, Chakotay carefully stepped over her and headed into the house. He discovered Gretchen in the kitchen, humming to herself as she finished her preparations for the evening meal. Not wanting to startle her, he knocked lightly on the doorframe to make his presence known.

"It looks like you could use a little help," he observed.

Gretchen flashed him a small smile. "Thank you for the offer, Chakotay, but everything is pretty much done," she replied. "The only thing left to do is dessert."

"Caramel brownies?" he prompted.

Gretchen chuckled. "I'm beginning to think Katie includes that in her introduction whenever she meets new people," she replied. "`Hello, I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway and my mother makes caramel brownies.'"

"Actually, she says `incredibly delicious caramel brownies,'" Chakotay deadpanned.

"Very funny. Anyway, today I'm making apple pie."

"Are you sure I can't help with anything? I feel rather useless just standing here watching."

His mother-in-law afforded him a sideways glance. "I could use another pair of hands to wash and peel the apples," she said, and gestured at the basket positioned next to the sink. "The paring knife is on the counter next to the basket."

"Consider it done."

Crossing over to the sink, Chakotay quickly washed his hands before commandeering the paring knife and setting to work on the apples. Gretchen watched him in thoughtful silence for a moment before returning to her own task. It took just under twenty minutes for Chakotay to strip the skin from the apples, then Gretchen carefully placed them into the piecrust and layered the top with strips of additional crust layered in sugar and cinnamon before sliding it into the oven. "Now we are done," she declared. "Can I interest you in some coffee or hot tea?"

"Coffee would be fine, thank you."

Gretchen wandered over to the other side of the kitchen and placed the water and the coffee grounds into the pot. Five minutes later, a small chirp signaled it was ready, and she poured the steaming java into a pair of mugs. "How do you take it?"

"Black with a touch of cinnamon, please."

Gretchen gave him a knowing smile. "So you're the culprit," she deduced, sprinkling the spice into his mug.

"Excuse me?"

"Katie asked me to put a touch of cinnamon in her coffee this morning," she clarified. "It's the first time I've ever known her to take it any way other than black."

She handed him the mug and he smiled his thanks as he accepted it. They sipped at their coffee in companionable silence for a moment before Gretchen spoke again.

"May I ask you a personal question?"

"Of course."

"When did you realize that your feelings for Katie went beyond friendship?"

Chakotay considered the question for a long moment, knowing that more than maternal curiosity had prompted Gretchen to ask it. Although she had been nothing but gracious since their meeting, Chakotay instinctively knew that she was still "sizing him up," needing more information about his relationship with Kathryn before rendering a final verdict.

She still hasn't decided whether or not I'm good enough for Kathryn, he mused wryly. That makes two of us.

"I don't know that there was an exact moment when I realized I was in love with her," he said at last. "I do know that from the moment we met, Kathryn's touched my life in a way no one else has. I found in her a part of my soul that I never knew was missing. We've had our differences-personal and professional-but I thank the spirits every day for giving her to me."

"You love her very much," Gretchen remarked quietly.

"She is my life."

The casualness of his tone belied the depth of emotion Gretchen could sense behind it and she graced him with a warm smile. "Katie is a very lucky woman," she replied.

"Does that mean we have your blessing?" Chakotay questioned.

"It does. I have a confession to make, though. When she first told me that she was married to you, I wasn't sure what to think. The last time I had seen her she was planning her wedding to Mark, and quite frankly you had made a rather shady reputation for yourself as a Maquis. Not to mention that she had inherited her father's near-obsessive adherence to protocol."

"Very near," Chakotay interjected dryly, then grew serious. "It was difficult at first. On the surface, we didn't seem to match. I was a temperamental ex-Maquis and she was a headstrong Starfleet captain. Yet, once we took the time to look closer, we discovered we weren't so different after all. We laugh, and love, and cry. Eventually we realized that things we had in common were strong enough to bond us for life."

Gretchen smiled. "Once Katie learned that Mark had moved on, I knew in my heart she would as well. Given her circumstances, I prayed that she could find someone who would see past her uniform and discover the woman underneath, and teach her to love again. I'm grateful beyond words that she obviously has."

"I promise you that as long as there is breath in my body, Kathryn will never want for anything."

"I'll hold you to that."

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Kathryn stood in the front yard of the house she had once shared with Mark, silently pondering the direction their lives had taken.

Ten years ago I intended to spend my life with him, she mused. Now I'm married to a man who shares my Bridge as well as my bed and Mark lives in our house with another woman he made his wife.

Her train of thought shattered when the front door suddenly opened and Mark stepped onto the porch. Their eyes met and held for a long moment, neither certain what to say. Memories assaulted her then-of love and laughter and friendship-and a pang of nostalgia came and went. It was Kathryn who found her voice first, and she flashed Mark a tentative smile. "Hello, Mark."

"Kath," he said simply. "Welcome home."

"It's good to be back." "Would you like to come inside? I've got coffee brewing."

"Of course."

Mark held open the door and Kathryn walked past him into the house. As they made their way to the kitchen, Kathryn discreetly scanned her surroundings, noting the changes in the decor Mark's wife had made.

She's turned the house into a home, she observed. I never did have a domestic touch.

"Do you still take it black?" Mark asked.

"Actually, I'll take a bit of cinnamon with it if you have any," Kathryn answered, seating herself at the dining room table.

As Mark rooted out the requested spice and put a pinch into Kathryn's mug, he shot her an inquiring glance. "Cinnamon, huh?"

"A friend suggested it once and I liked the taste."

Mark handed her the mug as he sat down across from her. "Must be some friend," he replied neutrally. "In all the years we were together I couldn't even get you to drop a sugar cube in your coffee. You always muttered something about not wanting to `contaminate the coffee's own aura of flavor.'"

Kathryn grimaced. "Was I really that pompous?"

"Only when it came to coffee," he allowed.

She smiled at that, and took a tentative sip of coffee before replying. "The house looks wonderful," she said casually. "Sheridan has excellent taste."

"Considering she agreed to marry me her taste is questionable," Mark quipped, then suddenly realized who he was speaking to. "Oh, Kath, I'm sorry...I didn't mean..."

Kathryn quickly raised a hand to silence him. "It's all right, Mark. You don't owe me any apologies."

"I'd like to give you an explanation."

"I'm listening."

Mark sighed. "When Voyager originally disappeared six years ago, I was frantic. I called in every favor I could in order to get information about what happened and what Starfleet Command intended to do about it. After the search parties could find no trace of you, and once we learned about the mysterious tachyon wave you encountered in the Badlands, the Admiralty was forced to officially declare all of you missing and presumed dead. But I refused to believe it; I knew you, and I knew that if anyone could survive against the odds, it was you.

"Yet when the weeks turned to months, and the months turned to years, I forced myself to accept that you were gone. I mourned for a while, but not as long as I would have liked, only because I knew you wouldn't have wanted me to wallow in grief. So I forced myself to move on. I spent two days going through your belongings and sorting out the things I wanted to keep from the things I knew Gretchen would want."

"Which category did Bear fall into?" Kathryn interjected dryly.

Mark chuckled, relaxing a bit. "I insisted that your mother keep her. Bear didn't react much better than I did when you disappeared, and the vet said it would be easier for her to adjust if she could stay someplace that was familiar to her. I did keep one of her puppies, though; named him Socrates. Sheridan took him to the vet this morning for a check-up."

"How did you meet Sheridan?"

"Through work. She transferred to Starfleet Academy from Oxford, six years ago, and teaches English literature. We literally bumped into each other one day en route to classes, and we spent a few minutes talking before I invited her to lunch. We've been together ever since. In a lot of ways she reminds me of you: strong, intelligent, independent."

"She sounds like a wonderful woman, Mark. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you," Mark replied. "What about you? I assume your friend who takes cinnamon in his coffee is the man you married?"

"Yes. His name is Chakotay." "Chakotay...that name sounds familiar. What a minute; wasn't he the captain of the Maquis ship you were chasing when you disappeared into the Badlands?"

"Yes. When I realized we were going to be stranded in the Delta Quadrant for a while, I decided to integrate the Maquis into my crew and made Chakotay my XO."

"A former Maquis terrorist taking orders from a Starfleet Captain? That must have been interesting."

"He's quite simply the finest officer I've ever served with," Kathryn declared. "We balance each other perfectly; he's contemplative and spiritual where I'm action-oriented and scientific. I act first and think later; he thinks first and acts later. And he's not afraid to tell me when I'm wrong. I wouldn't have survived the last ten years without him."

"Spoken like a loyal captain," Mark replied. "Now tell me about him from a wife's point of view."

Kathryn permitted herself a wistful smile. "Chakotay is unlike anyone I've ever known," she began. "He's both the strongest and the gentlest man I know. He's loyal, honest, stubborn. He plays as hard as he fights, has a sharp mind to match his tongue, and has more integrity than anyone I've ever met. There are days when I'd just as soon strangle him as look at him, but more often than not I thank God for bringing him into my life."

"I recognize that expression on your face," Mark said quietly. "You used to wear it for me."

There was no resentment or jealousy in his tone, only a thin layer of envy. Not quite certain how to respond, Kathryn hesitated a moment before doing so.

"What I have with Chakotay doesn't change how I felt about you, Mark. I loved you; for a long time that was the only thing that kept me going while we were stranded in the Delta Quadrant. I wanted so badly to talk with you, to let you know I was all right and have you tell me everything would work out. Even before we became lovers, you were my best friend; always ready to listen when I needed to talk. You never once complained about the burden my career placed on us; never resented me for all the times I was forced to place Starfleet ahead of you. It was one of the things I loved most about you."

"And all this time I thought it was because I never allowed your obsession for coffee to come between us," Mark said dryly.

Kathryn smiled at that. "Chakotay keeps threatening to put me into a twelve-step program for coffee addicts," she revealed. "As it is, he's somehow rigged the computer not to give me more than three cups a day."

"Serves you right for letting him convince you to `contaminate' it by adding cinnamon," Mark returned lightly. "In all seriousness, though, I am pleased you found someone to ease the burden for you, and you are obviously very happy."

"Beyond words."

Mark smiled. "We've been blessed, Kath. First with what we shared together, and a second time when we discovered the loves we have now."

"Must be the luck of the Irish," Kathryn quipped.

"Must be."

Kathryn drained the last of her coffee before pushing back from the table and standing up. "Well, I promised Chakotay I'd be back in time for dinner, so I'd better go."

"Thank you for coming today, Kath. It was good to see you."

"Despite the circumstances, I thought you and I needed to give ourselves some closure."

"Not too much closure," Mark countered. "I'd like to think we're still friends."

Kathryn smiled. "Always."

The two exchanged a hug, then Kathryn exited the house.

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Chakotay was outside with Bear when Kathryn returned to her mother's house, seated on the porch steps while the setter slept beside him, her head in his lap. Husband and wife exchanged a smile and a warm kiss before Kathryn settled herself on the opposite side of him, resting her head on his shoulder and entwining her hands with his.

"Everything go all right with Mark?"

"Fine. We both said what we needed to and called it at friends. I'm glad I went to see him."

"No regrets, then?"

"Not a one."

"Good."

"Thank you for understanding why I wanted to see him."

"Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me that you did."

Kathryn smiled. "You're awfully agreeable for an ex-terrorist," she remarked.

Chakotay chuckled. "I don't know if I should be insulted or flattered."

"How'd you and Mom do while I was gone?"

"We had a little heart-to-heart about you," Chakotay revealed, "or, more accurately, about us."

"I'm sorry I missed it. What did you say?"

"She just wondered how a notorious ex-Maquis won the heart of a by-the-book Starfleet Captain."

"To which you replied..."

"I told her that I didn't know, but that I thanked the spirits I had."

Kathryn gave him an affectionate smile before shifting her attention to their intertwined hands, and she lifted her free hand to idly rub her thumb across their wedding bands. "It scares me a little bit," she confessed quietly. "Being this happy."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's because I've had so many might-have-beens in my life I'm scared to accept that I've found the real thing." She shifted her gaze to meet his. "We've overcome so much to get to this point, Chakotay. I don't want to lose it."

"You won't," Chakotay stated firmly. "We're together for the long haul, Kathryn; 'til death do us part. Personally, I plan on living forever."

"Aren't you worried about getting bored?" Kathryn chided.

"Not with you around to keep me on my toes."

She smiled at that. "Promise me something."

"Anything."

"Promise me that if you ever leave, you'll take me with you."

Chakotay returned her smile and lifted his free hand to lightly caress her cheek. "I promise," he said softly. "I love you."

"I love you."

Husband and wife exchanged a kiss.

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The End.