Ask a silly question...
Have you ever noticed that even the most intelligent seeming
humans are
capable of asking extremely stupid questions about home/unschooling? Although I
am always too polite to retaliate, the following answers always
run through my mind when I hear the following questions:
Do your parents make you homeschool?
Yes, they chain me up in a deep, dank basement and force me to learn
independently.
Yes, they do. In my heart of hearts, I really *want* to spend 6 hours a day
in a stuffy classroom filled with stupid people, listening to a rude and
irrational teacher rant incessantly.
No, I make them homeschool me.
Do you have any friends?
Friends? We don't need no steenkin friends!
Yes, let me introduce you to my pal Harvey. Say hello, Harvey.
No, I'm a misanthrope sociopath who would rather die a thousand deaths than
be socialized normally.
How do you meet people?
I have found that painting myself blue and running through the streets
screaming is a very effective way to meet people.
I go to a playgroup!
Actively seeking out human companionship is illogical.
Do you get graded?
I grade myself. I am very proud of myself for maintaing my 4.0 GPA.
Grades are determined each semester by a coin toss.
Grades? What are those?
How do you know what to do without a teacher telling you?
I am omniescent.
I visit the library and pick books at random. Those books then become my
curriculum for that semester. Last semester, I studied alternative physics,
macrame, tomato growing, and plot flaws in Star Trek the Next Generation
episodes.
The little green aliens who live under my desk tell me what to do.
How do you remember to work without a teacher nagging you?
I'm a very bossy person, and therefore I get on my nerves all the time by
nagging myself to do homework.
Why would I need to be nagged? I love doing algebra homework!
I bribe myself. Whenever I finish a homework assignment, I give myself a
gold
star or a cookie.
Is homeschooling legal?
No. In fact, you could even be arrested for aiding and abbeting a criminal
just by talking to me!
Yes. The government wants as many of us smart-aleck, self motivating brats
out
of their high schools as possible.
No. We live in a dictatorial police state where being different is
punishable
by death.
Do you like homeschooling?
No. I hate it. I wish I were dead!
Dude, I love homeschooling. In fact, I love everything. Peace and Love,
man.
Not particularly. I tolerate homeschooling only because the alternative is
so horrendous.
Are you going to homeschool your kids?
With any luck, my offspring will be born on an asteroid colony, where
homeschooling is the only viable means of education.
What kids?
Certainly! In fact, my children will undergo an accelerated education, so
that they are ready for college classes by the age of 10.
You must be pretty smart to homeschool, huh?
Actually, my intelligence level is below normal. I have simply aquired an
immense vocabulary through memorization, which often fools humans into
believing that I am more intelligent than I actually am.
I am a super genius, and my superior intellect allows me to take full
advantage of non traditional methods of education.
Duh, what?
(Okay, to get serious...) Go here for more: Examining Some Common Questions About Homeschooling
ha, ha
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