Lonely *

© Alicia Sept. 27, 2000

Sometimes my heart and I talk
Sit in a quiet place
I ask it about it's health
It asks after my cold

Sometimes my heart tells me it's bruised
I've neglected it somehow
It asks me to follow people around
waiting for a sign of affection

I'm so lonely
I'm young but I'm old
I've already worn out
all of my dreams
without even trying

the things I used to see
I thought they'd be there someday
I've stopped looking now
And it scares me

I never wanted to settle for less
I've been taught I deserve more
But it seems life just doesn't agree
And so it's painful for me

So you'll forgive me please
When it seems I'm barely there
I'm only crying inside
I keep insisting life doesn't seem fair


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* or, the self-pity party I threw the other night that made me want to title this: An essay on my pain