What the Single Girl Knows About Love Could Fill a Book

I was raised as a conservative Christian and still am. I did the usual thing as a teen- read several books on courtship and attended a Joshua Harris meeting. I lived in smalltown Midwest USA during what might have been my rebellious period and instead was simply my awkward phase. I never snuck out of the house or dated, nor did I have any desire to. I remain a virgin in every meaning of the word, though I haven't remained completely sheltered and will simply base my qualifications for writing this on my God-given perception and close observation skills.

Brief warning: I will be adapting popular American cultural references, as well as using examples from television, movies, politics, and anything else that I think will draw the correct parallel. My intention is not to exclude those who won't understand my generation. I barely live in "my generation" myself. Hopefully, I explain myself well enough that those who don't understand my descriptions are not confused. Love, romance, and the quest for such, span all cultures, I think.

The truth is, I would rather not have to wax philosophical about this subject, but it's such a pervasive topic. It seems impossible to believe anyone has a balanced point-of-view on love in this day and age. That I understand. Love has become a hobby for people to play at. What people want from romance is a great love, one that stays true forever, can withstand great obstacles, fulfill their needs, and give them their desires. There *is* such a love. And earth love doesn't have to be a whole different matter. But in order to have an extraordinary love, there must be two absolutely extraordinary people. Two whole people, which is something very hard to come by now. Yet how can one be whole and still able to just put themselves into someone else's hands and say "I can be anything you want me to be"? The truth is, that's the kind of love God wants from us, only He doesn't seem so easy to appeal to. All that makeup and "playing up your assets" stuff? That's where the faith comes in.

It says in 1 John 4:7-13 that God is love, so we know that there's a reason behind all this love-mania in the world: it's just a perversion. People are looking for God, but those who can't accept Him find their own weak alternative. Many people excuse a lot of silly behavior by saying that the relationship between a married man and woman is to be a mirror of God's love for His people, while truly, that is not meant to mean that romantic love and marriage is a necessary thing for our salvation. I think the best person to explain the difference between needing and convention is Paul. In 1 Corinthians 7:1-9, Paul is only elaborating on Jesus' statements in Matthew 19:10-12: Jesus' disciples then said to him, "Then it is better not to marry!" "Not everyone can accept this statement," Jesus said, "Only those whom God helps...Let anyone who can, accept this statement."

Lust is no temptation for a person who can't accept a flawed, earthly version of the pure and perfect love God describes in the Bible. Meanwhile it's easy to see those who do need a fleshly example in their lives as weak, but whatever form your God-given desire takes, everyone needs balance. The endless quest for balance is one of the hardest things that we must endure in this world.

Christians shouldn't fall into the trap of seeing romantic love as more important than familial love or the love of friends. This has happened as the nuclear family has fallen apart, as the Church family has adopted secular ways, and as the media and mass entertainment has become the controlling force in the culture. There has always been evil in the world, but it pervades the very air everywhere we go in this age. The home is no longer a haven. The church is no longer a safe learning opportunity.

The only thing I can say to those who have that desire in their heart for children of their own to raise for God, and a spouse to be a helpmate and intimate spiritual companion, is ...don't go looking. The only thing we need to be searching for in this world is a deeper relationship with God. He gave us our desires and He will fulfill them. I know there's nothing new about me saying that, but the difference should be where you're coming from. We weren't put on this earth to mate.