S * X

© Alicia

Generally, there are two unhealthy extremes when it comes to sex. Most of the world nowadays would have us believe it’s a “basic animal function” (which I won’t even get into, as I agree that’s a basic function, but we all know we’re not animals), something to do for pure pleasure, when you feel like it, how you feel like it, and/or a form of self-expression. However, there are also still those who think it’s mystical, magical, shouldn’t be talked about, meant for a certain time, place, person, reason, and/or even a spiritual experience. Most married people end up feeling more practical about sex, which is part of the reason why marriages constantly fail. Unfortunately, all this legendry and scandal has built sexual relations into a great big Mystery for many and an Unattainable Perfection for others. Often, even those who are very sexually active/experienced have no clue what sex is all about. And those who are kept from even a less hands-on exploration of sex have come to think of “it” as this giant thing, and as such, it will end up being very disappointing for them. There’s a lot more and a lot less to sex than most of these people realize. Often, those who realize this pre-long-term fidelity commitment, end up deciding that, since there was no tangible connection in the long run post-sex, it really truly doesn’t matter who helps them get the high. The others, who often wait ‘til the marriage bed to discover that sex is just a plain physical act (unless of course you are truly wise and can see beyond just the act to the meaning, whether you see it as symbolic, spiritual, bonding, productive, or whatever), can spend the rest of their lives wondering if that is all sex really is (after all, if they’ve been told all their lives that nothing is the same after they’ve “done it”, how can life go on as usual afterwards?). I think that many young people (and I can’t say that this syndrom is limited to just the world as it is today) have been truly wronged by hang-ups and lies and confusion and maliciousness about and around this subject.

What would I suggest as a solution? Certainly not any formula, but as in every lesson that must be taught during the growing-up years, parents MUST be more involved than current trends would have them. I think anyone can see how damaging such a sensitive topic is when the only time it’s discussed is with or by peers and strangers and people they will likely never see again (teachers)! It’s all well and good to be discreet about sex when children are young, but I say we need to recall that children do grow up, and parents can’t let things like this slide. Discussions on sex must be adapted to be appropriate as time goes by.