Date: Sunday,October 30, 2005
Time: 8:01 p.m. EST
Current Conditions: Clear , 49° (feels like 49°)
Music: Dashboard Confessional | So Long Sweet Summer
Mood: ---------

I ended up not going to handbells today, I went trick-or-treating instead. YES! I still go. I'm 25 and have gone every year that I can remember with the exception of one and that was a most sad day in my life. Tomorrow night Jess, Rob, Jordan and myself are all going into Sumter and might hit some more of Mayesville to make it a full night. Jordan is going to have to use another bag or possibly dump his current one and take another one because his bag is loaded! We just hit a few houses tonight but he's loaded up, then again it usually is that way here in Mayesville. You might not get the worlds greatest candy, but boy you get a lot of it. I got finished dumping his bag into a bigger bag and it's already half way full. I guess we us four go tomorrow night, I'll have to take extra bags for everybody.

Here is a picture of Jordan as Harry Potter from tonight. Seeing as how we're going again tomorrow, I guess there will be another one for the actual day of Halloween.

Last night I went to Columbia and took Jordan to Boo at the Zoo. It was really cool. He really enjoyed himself and I had a lot of fun myself. He ended up staying with Bryant last night, which was fine but I ended up not getting home till late. I stayed up late and took a shower about 3:00 this morning and I was up by 6:00. Then my morning started off great. I hopped online, put some coffee on and started talkin to "J". I'm not going into names. Too early for all that. Then I went to church and talked to some folks,after getting a lesson of course.

I'm still waiting to get some more Madigan genealogy information that my oldest sister found a while back. When I got my birthday present, I thought that perhaps that was it, but it wasn't. It was my birthday present, which was fine. It was a beautiful suncatcher. After tomorrow I'll have to put up all my Halloween stuff and get ready for Thanksgiving and then comes Christmas. I think the holidays for me this year are pretty much going to suck. They were bad last year and this year they might even be worse, if that is even possible. My plans for Thanksgiving have once again been altered. Now it's upstate I'm supposed to be going to. My dad and his new wife are having Thanksgiving there. I'm not to sure how I'm going to handle that, for as long as I can remember I've never been away from "home" on Thanksgiving. I've never had family to travel and see for my family has always been with me, until Mom died and later I had my own. I miss my mom so much. It still hurts and I don't give a damn what anybody says, time does not ease the pain. Perhaps it's the circumstances that surrounded her death or something like that. I'm just not sure.

I feel like a change in subject is needed.

I bought a little cookbook thingie today. Carly and Brady's birthday is coming up. I could always make them a real nice dinner and then watch their kid or just pay for them to go out some place or buy them some stuff seeing as how they just got their own place. I want to get Brady the Harry Potter books. *Mental Note to search E-Bay* Carly loves to cook so I could always get her a few good cookbooks or something. I would like to make her a cookbook. Perhaps I could do that for Christmas or a Wedding Gift whenever they finally decide to get married. They are going to get married, he just has to have a divorce first. Don't laugh. He's real good for her and she seems to be good for him, besides, Brady is a male me. Don't laugh at that either. It's not everybody who can say they've met their opposite sex self.

Tomorrow I have an interview. I'm not working. I'm hoping that sometime this week I'll get to go back to Columbia and help my friend start moving. Hopefully I'll be able to make some money that way as well. I really need to clean a lot of this crap out of my house. C & B are supposed to be coming to pick up some chairs and stuff but they still haven't came and got them and I'm thinking if they don't come soon, I'm just going to get rid of them myself. I've sold Jordan's old highchair and his walker. I know I could sell more of that crap too. I have a bedroom upstairs that is half full of junk I need to dispose of.

I'm going to get going. Got stuff to do, things to put away, dishes to wash, clothes to dry, showers to take, and nobody to see. How about that? Sucks don't it? Oh well. Life goes on. We're all dying by the second. Happy Trails!

A little Halloweenish story I wrote for you...

Patch & Rob

Patch, Patch, lived in a pumpkin patch
One night, little Rob came to pick
He held his lantern up so high
so his light would fill the sky.
Only one pumpkin did he find
It was Patch he was to pick.
Rob carried Patch home
so proud and true;
for he was to carve him
that very afternoon.
With his best design in mind
Rob set out to carve
one of his towns most finest
Jack o' lantern's of all.

--Happy Hollow's Eve
Janett

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Date: Friday,October 28, 2005
Time: 8:49 p.m. EST
Current Conditions: Cloudy, 52° (feels like 52°)
Music: Kenny Chesney | Who You'd Be Today
Mood: Cold

Just another day in the life of Janett. No big woe events happened today. I wasn't even harassed at work today by Herbert, that's how boring it was. *sighs* I did get to talk to my buddy today during my lunch break *waves to J* It's good to have somebody to talk to about "stuff". I called George at the Station this morning and got him to hold out boxes for me. There is still a lot of packing to do. I'm hoping to get rid of most of this stuff before we move, kinda like Ron's doing I guess. A lot of it,there's just no sense in us having it. It's either never used, stuff we don't want, or things we don't need. Hopefully I can sell some of it and make some money. And no, I'm not going to price gouge either.

Tomorrow is the second bazaar we've had. The weather should be real nice. It's supposed to be kinda cool though. I hope it isn't too cool. Wouldn't want the lil' ones to freeze. I don't know if the fire guys are going to be there or not. I suppose if they are, Tim will be there. What a joy that will be. I did get a lot of compliments on my list that I did for the Breast Cancer Awareness Walk. I wish I could walk,but duty calls. I have to be at work instead. I am going down there as soon as I get finished with work. Better be worth my freakin time too seeing as how I'll be passing up an opportunity to chat with my bud.

I guess I should call Tasha and let her know I'm not totally pissed at her, just deeply hurt, once again. Why is it I always pick the ones that are like shit? I wish I could remember how Joe put it. Oh well. He was like "I don't know what to tell you other than you just attract shitty people". What a heart warming thought, but I do think he is correct. I mean come on guys, look at my tract record. Somebody told me I was an idiot. Perhaps they are right too. I think I look to hard, look to deep into things and I get attached to people real quick like, and those are all bad qualities I guess.

--I'm like Mr. Potato Head; all my parts are in my ass....
Janett

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Date: Wednesday,October 26, 2005
Time: 8:49 p.m. EST
Current Conditions: Clear, 48° (feels like 48°)
Music:Vince Gill | What Child Is This
Mood: Cold; Need somebody to hold

Today was a good day. Not too much happened. I went in to work with the attitude that if anybody hd something smart to say to me, I'd slap the crap out of them and then tell them where to shove it as I was walking out the door. :-) I'm bad, I know. I'm just tired of all the bull. I just got a call. The first weekend in November, I'm on a moving duty. Helping a friend clean out their house, she's moving to Florida and I get dibs on assorted stuff she doesn't want and I already know there is a collection of glass bottles she's going to trash but not if I get my lil' paws on them. I love bottles. I'm going to miss her but I think it's best if she does move. She's been through a lot. She lost her husband one year to the day after my mom died and she hasn't really had time to grieve, which is ever so important. She's not in that great of health and maybe the warm sunny Florida sunshine will help her.

I think I'm going to finish up this entry and head to bed.

--So we can look like Dark Vater....
Janett

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Date: Monday,October 24, 2005
Time: 10:01 p.m. EST
Current Conditions: Clear, 46° (feels like 40°)
Music:Chicago Symphony Orchestra
Mood: I need a massage

It's been a day, what else can I say. I went into work this morning, actually a little excited to be going to work, and I don't know why so don't ask. I usually hate Mondays at the Post Office but I wasn't going to let it get to me today. I got there and I got laid into once again. The PM was going off about how people need to do what they get paid to do. She went off about how some mail was left behind Friday and how he should have done this and done that. First off, yes, he should have looked but it is the Clerk's responsibility to clear their stations before they leave. Do you think anything was said to this precious little ass kissing angel? Hell no. It was all his fault. She was in the wrong for that. Then it was bitch at Janett time. Why wasn't I in uniform? I told her I only have one shirt, which is the truth. She hasn't said anything to me before about not wearing it every single day until today. I told her I wasn't going to wash it every single night, she came back with you need to buy another one. I then informed her I don't have money for another one, they run about $50.00 a piece. Then she starts once again with how people don't do what they're supposed to and then comes out with "I'm going to teach you guys how to do these reports". I looked at her and said ugh un. If looks could kill I'd be 120 feet under. I am not the PM. I do not get paid to do those reports. If they want me to learn how to do the stupid report, fine, but increase my pay. I don't get paid enough to listen to all the moaning, groaning, and getting insults hurled at me every freakin time I turn a corner. No thanks.

Enough about that. It's a lovely day here in Mayesville, South Carolina. Cool, windy, very windy, and did I mention cool? Yes! It freakin rocks. Jordan and I were going to carve our pumpkins tonight but I can't find his little tools so tomorrow when I take him to school I'll go pick up the little tool stuff for him. IT's easy for him to use those and he likes em so we'll do that. Because of my time schedule with work, I never really get to do much with Jordan so I think tomorrow morning, instead of making breakfast at home, I'll take him out and let him get something. I want to take him to Columbia and go to that Boo at the Zoo thing. That looks like it might be fun. He's going to be Harry Potter for Halloween. I wanted to find a renaissance dress for myself for Halloween but I hadn't been able to find one that I wanted. I shouldn't say that because that isn't true. I haven't been able to find one that I could afford. I think what I'll do if get in touch with this one lady and have her make me one. That way it will be EXACTLY like I want. Colors and all. I'm a big sucker for period dress too. I guess that kinda shows with what I always wanted my wedding to be like, but never was.

I know, rambling Janett. The holidays this year are going to suck. I can already tell. It's this close to Halloween and I'm not even jacked up about it. Something has to be wrong right? I am going to see if I can't go to a midnight mass with my friends Mom though. I've always wanted to go but never had the opportunity. It looks like Thanksgiving, which is my favorite family holiday, is going to either be spent alone or with my father and his new wife, and her family. I can think of other places to be.

The past month I have come to a decision. I am with out a doubt going to sell this house and move, the only question is to where? People have asked me to go where they are the only problem is I don't want to go somewhere just because somebody is there. I want to go some place because I feel l like I fit in or like I belong and I know there is such a place because I've felt it before.

I want to get in touch with these people who use to go to our church. They were super great people. I miss them a lot. They were a lot of fun. Patton is a MD in the Air Force and they were re-stationed to some place in England. Every time I think about them I get teary eyed. They are really special folks.

I'm going to scream at a few of my friends and then I'm off to do whatever.

--I'm gonna snatch you into 3 knots...
Janett

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Date: Sunday,October 23, 2005
Time: 7:55 a.m. EST
Current Conditions: Clear, 45° (feels like 45°)
Music: One Halloween Night (story)
Mood: Just Cold...

It's been a bit since I posted, the day before my birthday and alas I'm now 25 years old; and for the record, no, I do not feel any older. I do have lots of pictures. If you wanna see them, click on this. I had a real good time. There were a good many people there, some people came and left before the party ever started and some people didn't come till like 2:30. Certain folks didn't show up, didn't call, anything and that pissed me off because they are the "friends" that I'm most close to or so I thought. Sadly, this is the first birthday that I can remember that I didn't have a birthday cake. For a lot of you people that's no big deal but I don't care about "things"; it's the small stuff like the cake, getting to blow out the candles and cards that mean a lot to me. I don't give a crap about getting presents.

Tasha and Jason never showed up, but I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. She didn't even call to say they weren't coming. It was like Naomi all over again. I didn't get anything, not a phone call, an e-mail, an instant message--squat. She's supposed to be my best friend. I've been shafted by her so many times, it's unreal. Part of the reason we stopped talking for so long. It's like a bad relationship. One side is doing all the work, trying to make things work, changing this, and attempting that and the other party is going about their old bad habits; continuing with the lying, so on and so forth. I don't know why I keep putting myself through it. My sister Naomi, constantly lied to me about EVERYTHING. I'd buy her a ticket up here and she'd turn it in and get the money back for it and say she never got it. Horse Shit.

Speaking of horses. Lookie.

Isn't he a cutie! That's SunDance. He's still got problems with his hoofs but he's doing a lot better. Went and spent about 3 hours with him yesterday, groomed him, rode him, all that good stuff. I think that is going to be one thing I'll miss from here. I know I will. My ability to have horses. I guess I still could go buy one, but my neighbor would board them for free, in exchange for my cooking, seriously.

Speaking of cooking, I need to get fixing Jordan some breakfast.

Oh and Ron, *giggles* I am having a wonderful "hobble free" weekend! Hope you're better, like yesterday.

--It's beginning to feel a lot like Autumn...
Janett

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Date: Thusday,October 20, 2005
Time: 7:52 p.m. EST
Current Conditions: Clear , 73° (feels like 73°)
Music: This Is Halloween
Mood: ----------
Birthday Countdown: 1 Day...

I was honestly looking forward to speaking with my special friend this morning but due to technical difficulties, I was unable to, which really sucked because I got up really early to talk to em'. I went and worked Mayesville today. Totally uneventful, which is a good thing. I came home from work and there was a present wrapped in comic paper. I was instantly reminded of my older sister Christy. I thought that perhaps, she was around somewhere but when I opened the box, there was a card on top of it and it was from Mary Lyn and George. The card was beautiful and inside the box was a pumpkin shaped tea light holder with a liciorish scented black candle in it. Under that was the most adorable Halloween candy dish you've ever seen. Here, this will just make it easier.

Goofy stopped by this morning and made himself at home on my bed. We had issues getting him out of the house. I'm not sure what he's going to do when the other cat gets here. Goofy isn't even out cat. He belongs to the people down the street but they don't pay him much attention so I feed him and he comes in and I pet him for hours sometimes. He sleeps at the foot of the couch sometimes too.

You can't really tell it from the picture but he is a HUGE cat. He's very tall for a cat. I don't really want him on my bed, but it's good company.

I've gotten a few birthday cards, which is really nice and I have collected, thus far $150.00 plus $500.00 from earlier this month. So I'm not doing too bad. I went and got stuff for tomorrow night and I almost freaked. I bought some beer, but seeing as how I don't drink the nasty stuff, I did it out of love for my beer drinking friends.

Moving on to subjects other than myself and those that are more serious. I was looking though a slideshow of pictures from Iraq, as I often try to do, and I found two pictures very very disturbing. One was a simple, nothing to it really but I think what shocked me more than anything was how old this guy was. He had an entire life ahead of him and he died for what? I could go on and on about this mess. It just isn't right. I'm starting on an entirely different subject but if you're interested in the two pictures, be warned the second is graphic, go ahead and click to your little hearts content. There is a third one that I like as well. It's heartwarming, unlike the other two.

1.) SPC Rusty W. Bell
2.) Lil' Iraqi Boy
3.) Lil' Iraqi Girl & Soldier

Now that I'm off that wagon. We just got finished loading up the 4 wheeler and dragging stuff across the street. I think I'm going to tell her I can only work till 11:00 or something like that because I have some place I need to be. I don't really but I do have things I need to get done for tomorrow night. I'm going to get finished doing some stuff inside and then I'm going to see if I can't crash.

--Entering mid-life crisis mode....
Janett

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Date: Tuesday,October 18, 2005
Time: 9:28 p.m. EST
Current Conditions: Clear, 63° (feels like 63°)
Music: Steppenwolf | Magic Carpet Ride
Mood: Very Very Sleepy (still)
Birthday Countdown: 3 Days...

It's been a good long day. I'm gonna get finished writing Jeremey and Iamma go to bed. I'm out.

--My lips hurt real bad...
Janett

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Date: Monday,October 17, 2005
Time: 7:44 p.m. EST
Current Conditions: Clear, 65° (feels like 65°)
Music: The Nightmare Before Halloween | This Is Halloween
Mood: Very Very Sleepy
Birthday Countdown: 4 Days...

Yesterday was Sunday, duh right? I, against my better judgment, went to Wal-Mart. It was that time of the month, where you're lookin around your house wondering which brand of cereal the kid is going to have for dinner. So here we go, into Wal-Mart, actually we had just gotten out of the car and BOOM there goes somebody I know. That was scary being as how it's somebody I hadn't seen in like forever but then I guess that is so not the point. I hate going to Wal-Mart, or any store in Sumter, for that matter. It's like somebody dropped a "my shit don't stink" bomb over this joint. People are so damned rude here. Everybody darting everybodyelse filthy looks, that's some scary stuff. Anyways, I managed to make it out of Wal-Mart by er....4:00 I think and was able to get home in time for my bells.

Handbell practice went great. Everybodywas there except for Ginger and Jane. Ginger's family was shipped out to over in England somewhere for at least 3 years and Jane has been in and out of the horse pistol for the past two weeks, if not longer. We're working on "Come Ye' Thankful People Come" for our Thanksgiving piece as well as several for Christmas. During the Carols & Lessons service at our church, we're going to play Silent Night as everybody lights their candles. We're also playing again this year on the Mayesville Green. I love my bells. I want to get good enough to do "Sweet Hour of Prayer" which is a 13 bell piece played solo. Mada and I are working on a duet.

When it came time to get up this morning, I hated it. I did NOT want to get it. I had my windows opened and the moon was shining in my window and it was so beautiful. It was just really really nice. All the way taking Jordan to school and then driving on to work, I was looking at the beautiful moon on one side and the sunrise on the other. I just wished it was something I could have actually enjoyed instead of having to maneuver my way through traffic.

At work, it was an experience, let me say that. I was expecting Peanut to open the door and greet me with a smile, instead it was the boss, bitching at me for not knowing I was supposed to work. When I left from there Thursday she said she had the schedule posted since Friday afternoon. I didn't work there Friday and I was told that Genovia was to call me and let me know when I was working. Then it was all these specific tasks and functions that I needed to be doing, all of which, when given time, I do anyways. The postmaster that was there before her use to do the same thing to me and when she realized that I didn't need her breathing down my neck every waking second of the freakin day that I was totally capable of doing these "tasks" by myself without being restrained to somebody else's timeframe. She wants me to do all these things that is totally ridiculous because I have no time to do them. I can't be in the front having insults hurled at me and in the back being used as a doormat at the sametime, there's only one of me. About an hour before I left for work, a lady came in and was pretty ticked off because she claims something got lost in the mail. She sent it regular first class mail, which you folks know, there is no way of tracking that. She had to fill out a form and when she completed it, she threw it at me along with MY pen that I let her scraggly ass borrow to fill the damned form out. I can take a lot of stuff but having things thrown at me by a woman old enough to be my grandmother, well that just isn't one of my strong points.

On my way to get Jordan after work, I was reminded of how much I love to be outside and how much I love water as I passed Ashwood Lake. It was beautiful. I passed it this morning and it had steam rising off it and the moon was behind it on one side and she sun was rising on the other, to die for. It is things like that, and seeing your kids face when you wake up that make life worth living.

Friday is approaching fast,come on folks, there is still time and we still have "slots" open. Bring your kiddies and come party with us. I can't seem to emphasize enough that there are going to be kids there and some dorks are like "Yea, we're gonna do this..." and I'm like no hell you're not. Anyways. No busting suds please, unless you're old enough to know what you're doing, can verify that neither party is married or otherwise involved and well, just as long as no kids are peeking whatever. Once again, we're meeting at my house around 7 ish and we're trekking it across the street to the party site.

I was reading Ron's blog and he was talkin about teaching his kids to cook. I think that is so awesome. Jordan sounds a lot like's his kids, he isn't complicated when it comes to eating and likes simple stuff. I often wonder though, if that's because he's just use to it and know how it tastes and doesn't have to worry about any surprises. Jordan has been assisting me with cooking for a while. I guess about a month ago he made his first lasagna all by himself. He says that when he grows up he's going to be a chef like me. Back when we had satellite, we use to watch Food Network all the time and he loved Emeril, Bobby Flay, and he liked watching Iron Chef, the original one that is. I think his desire or even thinking about teaching his kids to cook is totally awesome and I give him a big stand up for that. Here is a picture of Jordan with his first self composed lasagna. Sorry about the super squiggle lines, but he was wearing a stripie shirt.

I got a thing in the mail today from Headquarters saying they received my 991 for the Postmaster position in Elliott. It's good that it went in, at least I have one application under my belt. I know I will not get the position and frankly since it's just an office of Post Offices Boxes, I don't really want it but it would be a place to start. I don't know though, I don't think with all the stuff that happened while I was applying for that job, I don't think I was even supposed to apply but I don't guess that matters now.

I've been making some poor attempts to try and find some kid friendly halloweenish songs. Jordan seems to have taken to "Monster Mash" well. And finds the Ghostbusters theme hilarious. I put to much emphasis on music I do believe. I've written an awful lot. I'm sure I got lotsa stuff to do around here and I'm planning on crashing early so I'm out.

--Smooth as the Blarney Stone...
Janett

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It's been an eventful week, perhaps that's why I haven't posted in so long. There have been days when I've started writing but scratched it out. I've been doing my jogs in the morning or the afternoon depending on my work schedule. Things have been rough. I haven't slept much this past week and far to many people are asking me about Rob again. I wish they'd stop. I've even told them as much but they don't seem to hear me. I have managed to alternate sleeping with the dumb bear. I still can't go to sleep without it but sometime during the night I'll put him off to the side by the lil' dresser next to the bed but then if I wake back up, he's the first thing I reach for. I've stopped writing letters and everything but the bear is up and out of sight. I still won't go out on a date with anybody and yes, believe it or not, I have been asked once or twice but I'm not interested. I do have on interest, however, but he is currently unavailable due to deployment.

Carly and Brady moved into their own place at the end of last week and from what I gathered from talking to her tonight, she doesn't like it. Her mom seems to be in heaven though. Jordan made a little card and envelope for William the other day and so now we just need to get that off.

I spent the lot of the day, after work of course, burning CD's. I came out with a total of 15 but managed to condense down to 8 for right right now. I'm listening to the last CD now. It seems like things are pulling together for Friday. I think most of Thursday is going to be spent getting ready for Friday though.

I got some more pics. Here. That's allI'm gonna do and then I'm gonna scoot. Oh yea, I wanna say hi to Ron, so "Hi there fella".

--I'm the best thing since instant oatmeal...
Janett

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Date: Wednesday,October 12, 2005
Time: 5:12 p.m. EST
Current Conditions: Cloudy, 69° (feels like 69°)
Music: --------
Mood: Lonely
Birthday Countdown: 9 Days...

I haven't slept in two days. I feel like shit. I look like shit. I think I might have some sort of life altering disease or something. Seriously. When I lay down I feel like I'm going to get sick and before anybody even asks, NO I am NOT pregnant. That was so not even funny for you to even think such a horrible thing. I still layed on the floor last night, turning from side to side trying to find a positin where I didn't feel like I was going to hurl. I went ahead and got off the floor about 4:00 this morning and took a bath, just to get warm then came in here turned the computer and hopped in the shower. I got to talk to Jeremey before I took Jordan to school. It's nice having somebody to yap to all the time. Alright, so it isn't all the time, I just flood him with IM's so when he gets online he can read all the horrible crap I've been doing all day long.

So far, for my party, I have 3 confirmed "No's" and that is it. Tomorrow is supposed to be the last day for reservations and I hven't heard anything from anybody. Reguardless, I'm taking my ass across the street, having a bonfire and eventually, possibly, getting wasted. I should have also mentioned listen to very loud music.

--Blah......
Janett

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Ceriah's party went well last night. Heath and I were the "authority figures". Was kinda cool. I haven't done anything pressing today. I didn't even run. I talked to Jeremey most of the day and the other half was spent with Sarah and Jessica. The most exciting thing I did was take my trash off. I did, however, finish reading the fifth Harry Potter book. I will admit, I cried. Poor Harry, the guy can't ever catch a break. Besides, I was pulling for Sirius. I get to take Jordan to school in the morning and I have to go to work in Bishopville then come back and work in Mayesville. I also have no food in the house. I've eaten nothing but salad for the past 3 days. Pretty gross actually. I have had my fair intake of coffee though and water as well of course. At the party the other night, I did drink a root beer.

Speaking of parties, I've gotten a new local for mine. We're going to use the vacant lot next door to Mada's house. There is a 3 car carport over there and there will be enough room for different types of stuff under there. Going to take a look and see what kinda food I can prepare and I gotta get stuff to drink and also get some tiki torches. I'm gonna go now.

--Unt...
Janett

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Date: Saturday ,October 8, 2005
Time: 2: 11p.m. EST
Current Conditions: Mostly Cloudy, 81° (feels like 85 °)
Music: Mix 94.7
Mood: A lil' bored
Birthday Countdown: 13 Days...

I took a few pics the other night. I'll just put up two for now. Perhaps do the others later. Funny aren't they? Anywho, moving on to the real purpose for this blog...

I have no ideal what it is with people. Here you are jogging down the road and here comes a car full of people. Guys sitting on the hood of the car and everything. Morons. I did my jog in about 22 minutes which comes about to er...10 minutes and something mile because it's about 2.25 miles. I'm sitting here listening to music, stuffing my face with lettuce. It's actually pretty good. It's getting real dark out, I guess that perhaps it's going to start pouring down rain again, which is fine by me. I just hope it doesn't mess up Sarah's party tonight. She's thirteen now! A TEENAGER. Oh the horrors.

Mada had to call me this morning to wake me up for work. She was like "Hey girl, you going to work this morning." I think I roughly recall uttering "What time is it" Anyways, I was like 30 minutes late getting to work, but everything got done in time which I guess is all that really matters. Paula came in to work this morning too. She's a hoot.

While I was talking to Jeremey last night I kept spitting out obscenities about myself and that's not meaning vulgar stuff, I was just cracking on myself real bad but hey, if you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at? I also did a super long survey last night. It was stupid really. A lot of the same dumb things, just worded a little differently....I think I might do some more and post them on my site somewhere. Not too sure about that just yet.

I went and read Ron's blog, but I guess everybody already knows that too. He just seems really cool. Defiantly a good think we intertwined. He's been a positive influence on me and I hope I have on him.

I've updated some different sections throughout my blog, guess if you're interested, you'll just have to take a look see and have a peep at what's there as to what's new and what isn't. I'll tell you now my Quotations page is kick ass awesome. Full of great information. My opinion of course, but nevertheless, it is a page that everybody should check out.

I'm thinking for my birthday do some cool stuff because a lot of people have kids. I hope to God that the weather is good. If it's not, everybody will be shoved inside. But then again, I was thinking also that my neighbor has a vacant lot next to her house and there is a carport with a cover over it and there is a huge burn pile over there. I was thinking about mustering up the courage and ask her if we could do it there if we needed to. It's only 13 days away ya know? If anybody's interested, drop on over, there's room for everyone. I can't believe I'll be 25, half my life gone and I have nothing to show for it. I'm not rolling in my own pitty, screw it. I'm going to dottle and see what kinda stuff I can scrounge up online.

--Always keep your head up...
Janett

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Date: Friday,October 7, 2005
Time: 11: 39 p.m. EST
Current Conditions: Heavy Rain , 74° (feels like 74°)
Music: ---------
Mood: --------
Birthday Countdown: 14 Days...

SCREW ROB

SCREW PEOPLE

SCREW ROMANCE

SCREW TRUE LOVE

--I hate everything...
Janett

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Date: Friday,October 7, 2005
Time: 4:41 p.m. EST
Current Conditions: Cloudy , 77° (feels like 77°)
Music: George Thorogood | I Drink Alone
Mood: --------
Birthday Countdown: 14 Days...

I am happy to report that Barbara's surprise party went over well. Jan and I arrived first. Then Heywayrd, his wife and baby stepped in and after everybody had left, Jim showed up. She was really surprised and the cupcakes were a hit. Even the baby mouthed one. I sold eight more raffle tickets too. Which is four more than I had sold period. I had only sold four until today. Now I've sold 12.

I went to Sumter to go cash my check and stuff like that then Bryant calls and says he's stuck in traffic and could I get Jordan. Jordan gets with me and doesn't want to go with Bryant. I'm in no position to put up with his crap, Bryant's that is, so he gets Jordan out and starts being all pissy. If I had a man with me I would have slapped the shit out of him, took my kid and came on home.

On an exciting note, RON IS BACK! WOOHOO!! I dont' want him to flow too much, but it's cool as hell to see him back. Missed reading his blog. He seems to be a good guy. Sounds like he needs a break though, and there is nothing wrong with that, we all need them every now and again. No reason for anybody to hang their head or feel like less of a person for that. Nobody.

I'm going to see if I can't find somebody to do something with tonight. I don't want to sit at home alone. I'm getting down again and I can feel it coming on like a bad nasty cold and I hate it. I'm now scrounging for my phone to call Climmie. No luck there, she's in Lexington with her daughter. Oh well, I tried. I might go back to Dillon park and walk some more seeing as how I'm by myself again. *curses Rob under her breath* anyways. I'm out.

--When all hope is lost...
Janett

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Date: Thursday,October 6, 2005
Time: 8:40 p.m. EST
Current Conditions: Cloudy , 73° (feels like 73°)
Music: George Strait | I Cross My Heart
Mood: Sad
Birthday Countdown: 15 Days...

Another crappie day at the office. Did another four hour day. I told the PM at the Bishopville PO that if I didn't start getting more hours I was going to have to only work my Saturdays (unless I was given notice) and find another job, because I can't make a mortgage payment on four hours a day. She say "No, no Janett. You're a great clerk and you're going to get full time "sometime". " I felt like saying that "sometime" isn't soon enough. I came home and worked on my resume and spiffed it up a bit. Looks pretty good, now I just have to find jobs to apply for. She told me to contact Florence, that they needed help nights in the plant. Genovia said she'd help me with Jordan. I also have a small list of 5 other offices I'm going to call and let them know that I'm out there. I don't see how if Sumter can't use me, how would Florence be able to use me? Doesn't make sense. I have a feeling it's because of what happened at mail count this past year and that's discrimination any way you cut it. Somebody got their panties in a huge wad because somebody this one girl liked was spending more time with me than she thought he should. Horse shit it is I tell ya, horse shit. After this talk with her, she put me on the schedule for Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. They're all only going to be four hours though except for possibly Thursday.

I went and picked up balloons, a card, streamers, a banner, and some stuff to make cupcakes with for Barbara's party tomorrow. Mada and I decorated, I caught her as she was getting ready to leave but she stayed and helped me. I called Jim, Heyward, and Jan and told them all to be at the PO at 9:00 if they could. Jan is coming for sure and Heyward is still up in the air, but he said he'd try and make it. Jim says he has a doctors appointment that he has to be at at 9:00 but he'd try and if he didn't make it then, he'd try and come later. I didn't get her anything, other than my presence, but we still decorated the office all nice, I think at least. I'm going to get some batteries for my camera tomorrow when I take Jordan to school so I can take some pictures. There might be some at the PO, I'm just not real sure and I don't want to risk it. I made her a two tear cupcake with M&M's and crushed up Oreos. (Insert Geroge singing here) I'm going to goop fudge over it too and then stick in 7 candles. She's going to be 57, but I can't fit that many on a cupcake. I remember when I put 50 candles on my Dad's birthday cake. He thought that was hilarious. Too bad I didn't have a picture then.

I'm not too sure what this weekend is going to bring. I guess I need to call Bryant and see if he's going to get Jordan from school tomorrow or if I'm going to have to get him. Bryant is supposed to be responsible for Jordan on the weekends but I'm finding that isn't really the case so much as now. I can't wait to get a hold of Will and see what's going on. I need to wash some clothes and take a shower. Got a long day tomorrow.

--Its a sledgehammer...
Janett

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Date: Wednesday ,October 5, 2005
Time: 7:28 p.m. EST
Current Conditions: Cloudy , 72° (feels like 72°)
Music: Lorenna McKennitt
Mood: Sad & Sleepy
Birthday Countdown: 16 Days...

I went in to work at Bishopville this morning for four pathetic hours. Jerome was happy to see me at least. Charlotte was working there. She's cool, she comes to us from the Darlington Post Office. When I got off work there I went to the Post Office in Mayesville and went with Barbara to lunch and sat with her at The Station. I came back home after that and read some more of my book then went to Sumter and got Jordan then went to the grocery store and picked up some lettuce and envelopes. Came back home and then went back to the Post Office and worked on my STAR 991. What a PAIN! I just got home. I'm freakin pooped. I didn't get to sleep last night till after 3:30 at least and then I was up by 5:00. I had a dream about Rob, it was a great dream but I awoke to sadness.

Speaking of Rob, it's been one month since I saw him last and it seems like an eternity. The romantic in me keeps hoping that one day he'll just show up and everything will be okay, but then the other part of me, the part most everybody knows and gets to see says he's gone for forever and I'll never see or hear from him ever again. I wished I knew somebody to whom I could relate all this too. Who ever thought one month could be so damned long? What I wouldn't give to hear his voice again...oh the pain.

On another note, my friend Lauren has two new roommates. Her sister and her two year old son have moved in with her. I wish them the best of luck. I'm gonna go now.

--Sware your love not by the moon...
Janett

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Date: Tuesday ,October 4, 2005
Time: 8:42 p.m. EST
Current Conditions: Mostly Cloudy , 74° (feels like 74°)
Music: Nick Lachey | This I Swear
Mood: ------
Birthday Countdown: 17 Days...

Today was my last day to work at Mayesville until this Saturday. It went over rather well. I had a few people complain but that is nothing out of the ordinary. It was nothing I couldn't handle. On my lunch break I came home, changed and went for a jog. It was pretty damned hot, I should have drank some water before hand because half way through I felt like I had a wad of cotton balls in my mouth and my saliva was super heavy. More info than needed Battles. Anyways.

I got another surprise on my lunch break too. What was it you ask? No, it wasn't Rob, but something almost as good or nice. A new horse! Yep, Sundance, has came into my life. I went over and checked him out, his hoofs are bad. He hasn't been ridden in 3 years but he doesn't seem to shy away from stuff he isn't use to, which is good. I went over there and he started nudging me. He isn't as tall as Blaze, which is fine too. I have a hard time getting on Blazey Man. I still wonder about Cody sometimes. I hope he's doing good and being treated well. As soon as I get batteries, I'll take a picture of him and post it. He looks a lot like Blaze too. He's more of a coffee color and Blaze is more Bronze. When I get a horse of my own, and I will, I'm going to name him/her Storm Chaser. Don't ask me why because I can't tell ya.

Tomorrow I'm off to Bishopville and I'm going to take my changing attire so I can go to Dillon park when I get off work. Climmie is off tomorrow so I'll call her and see if she wants to go with me.

I thought of an idea for my boss. Either Thursday afternoon or early Friday morning, I'll go down to the PO and decorate with balloons, streamers and a banner. Then I'll bring her some food. I still haven't thought of a gift though. Hopefully I can find a trick candle somewhere too and use that for her to blow out, she'll just think it's old age. Either that or she'll think she needs to stop smoking! HA!!

Whelp, just wanted to update for those who care. I'm off. (yea, now why don't I tell you something that you didn't know right?)

--Flippin' Sweet!...
Janett

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Date: Monday ,October 3, 2005
Time: 8:55 p.m. EST
Current Conditions: Mostly Cloudy , 76° (feels like 76°)
Music: Nickleback | Photograph
Mood: Sad
Birthday Countdown: 18 Days...

I spent all day Saturday and most of Sunday helping Carly clean her new place. It looks real good! I"m really happyfor her and Brady. It looks like things are finally looking up for them. They deserve it. My arms and in-between my shoulder blades hurts real bad. I feel like I need to pop my back but I can't.

I took Carly with me to get Jordan Sunday. Bryant was supposed to bring him to school this morning but Betty is back in town and everything else has to be put on hold. That pissed me off. I also found out they're sending Jordan to bed without any dinner. We were in the grocery store when Jordan told me this. I know I got a little loud and then rummaged around for my cell phone and called Bryant. It's a good thing I didn't get a hold of him because I was pissed and he would have been cussed out. Anyways.

Jordan behaved well after we picked him up, which was good considering he's always rude, obnoxious, and won't listen when he comes back from Bryants. I got him home, made dinner, put him in the bath and then Mada comes over and I go outside and talk to her. Jordan comes outside and his hair is wet. He said he was trying to make his hair like Xanders' which is spiky. Then when I come back in the house I go to put him to bed and Jordan says "Mom, you don't even know what I've been doing." So I demand to know what he's been doing. I see a spot on his head and he's took scissors to his hair. I asked him what in the world he was thinking and he said "I want to look like Rob again". I'm like what? He says "Well, Rob doesn't have any hair and I want to look like Rob, I can't look like him if I got hair." I just put him on to bed but was immediately prompted with questions like "Where is Rob" "When is Rob coming back home" "Is Rob safe" I just said he needed to go to bed. Then he said a prayer for Rob but didn't go to sleep. I went in there about 11:00 and he was still awake and he started asking me questions again. I think I fell asleep before he did. I've made it a point not to mention Rob around him. I don't bring him up around Jordan because I know it's going to be fifty million questions that I can't answer. I wish he was easy to forget. There was just something about him I can't explain it. There's only ever been one other that's made me feel like that. Just one. I still sleep with Teddy and I still have his picture by my bed, which I should put up, I know, and I should some how manage to pry myself away from that damned bear.

Enough of the sappy crap. Nobody wants to read bout that. I guess they might. Nobody wants to hear life is just cheery even if it is. Moving right along.

I printed up the invitations for my party on the 21st. Printed 50 invitations. I don't even expect half of them to show up but a simple "Happy Birthday" phone call will suit me just fine. The best birthday present anybody could get me would be 5'7" about 155 pounds, the most dazzling and alluring brown eyes you've ever seen, a melt your heart kinda smile, and bald. I know, I said I wasn't gonna talk about it. eek.. Anyways, about the birthday. Even if nobody shows up, I intend to enjoy myself or at least make a serious attempt to.

We haven't gotten anything done as far as the town bazaar goes which is taking place on the 29th of this month. I was talking with Tim trying to see if they're going to get the fire trucks pulled out. He says he doesn't see why not. I'm hoping they do. Last year that is pretty much where all of my time was spent.

Barbara's birthday is this Saturday. I know she's expecting something so I'm going to do something, I feel like I have to. I've done something for Jim, Mada, and she knows I did something for Climmie,so it's just a matter of what. I was thinking Friday lug some food down there in the morning before Mada leaves and give her her crap then. Just am not sure yet.

I'm going to get a car too. Not sure exactly what just yet, I just know it's either Honda or a Toyota. Got some stuff to do around the house so I'm out.

--In your eyes I see forever and it makes me wish
that my life never knew the day before you
Janett

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Date: Saturday ,October 1, 2005
Time: 2:01 p.m. EST
Current Conditions: Mostly Cloudy , 82° (feels like 85°)
Music: George Strait | What's Going on in Your World
Mood: ------
Birthday Countdown: 20 Days...

Got a new pic...

Whelp, just another boring Saturday here. I called Chaz, my Dad's new wife and told her Happy Birthday. I've gotten more info on my future car as well. It's been narrowed down to either a Toyota or a Honda. Either would be fine with me, just as long as it's mine and nobody can take it from me. Oh yea, I'd like a radio too.

I mailed out Halloween cards today. So people should start getting them Tuesday I'd assume. Some might even get theirs Monday, those living in North Carolina that is.

I went into work early this morning. Yesterday was a disaster. Heyward forgot to leave my keys and I had to call Todd in Sumter and get nasty Jim's phone number. He came down there and let Jan in while I took Jordan on to school. But other than that, the day went very well. I did the Postal Service honor. Coming from Mayesville, I did anyways.

I'm waiting on a call from Carly as I am supposed to go to Elgin and help her clean up their place, provided they get to sign the papers today. I've been trying to get a hold of Sarah but I'm having no such luck. I put Jordan's clothes up and got rid of some of the stuff that is too small for him and I can't believe how many clothes that kid has. He has more clothes than I do. Speaking of which, I need to go through my own closet and discard some of my stuff I don't wear or it's too big.

I went to Dillon Park the other day and met a few folks and one very very cute little girl. Simply adorable. I'm doing better with the talking to people bit. As I pass folks on the track I make a point to say something. It's a baby step, but it's something nevertheless.

Well, I have a ton of stuff to do around my own house so I'm going to get scooting.

--My patience is waining...
Janett