JOKES

j o k e s

  • BillClinton and PM Mori
  • JetLi and Spielberg
  • Not To Say To Police


    • BILL CLINTON AND PM MORI

    b i l l   c l i n t o n   a n d   p m   m o r i



    A true story from the Japanese Embassy in US:

    Prime Minister Mori was given some basic English
    conversation training before he visits Washington
    and meets with President Bill Clinton.

    The instructor told Mori "Prime Minister,
    when you shake hand with President Clinton,
    please say 'how are you'.
    Then Mr. Clinton should say "I am fine, and you ?"
    Now you should say 'me too'.

    Afterwards we, translators will do all the work for you.
    "It looks quite simple, but the truth is ...


    When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said:
    "Who Are You...?".
    Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to
    react with humor: "Well, I am Hilary's husband,
    ha...ha...ha..."
    Then Mori replied confidently "Me too, ha...ha...ha..."

    Then there was a long silent moment in the meeting room.



    JETLI AND SPIELBERG

    j e t l i   a n d   s p i e l b e r g

    Jet Li walked into a pub in New York with his pal.
    He says to his pal: "Hey! That's Steven Spielberg over there!
    God, I wish he'll come over to say "hi".

    Spielberg suddenly walked over and gave the man a punch on the nose.

    JetLi: "Hey!! What's that for?!"
    Spielberg : "You bloody Japanese killed my granddad when you bombed Pearl Harbour!"
    JetLi : "I'm not Japanese! I'm Chinese!"
    Spielberg : "Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, you're all the same!"

    Spielberg walks back to the other side.
    Then Jet Li calmly walks over to Spielberg
    and gives him a really heavy punch on the face.

    Spielberg : "Hey! Wha' that's for..... !?!"
    JetLi : "YOU BLOODY ASSHOLE! YOU SANK THE TITANIC!"
    Spielberg : "No, I didn't, an iceberg sank the Titanic!"
    JetLi : "Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg, you're all the same!"




    WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER

    w h a t   n o t   t o   s a y   t o   a   p o l i c e   o f f i c e r

    1. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

    2.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

    3. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

    4. Are You Andy or Barney?

    5. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

    6. I pay your salary!

    7. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

    8. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

    9. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"