So I'm throwing this party in a couple of weeks, a combination birthday/housewarming party, and it's the first party I've thrown since I was twelve. I quit throwing parties after the one when I was twelve because they all sucked, and hardly anybody showed up, and those that did show up (with the notable exception of the only one to show up to my 10th birthday party) usually only showed up to make fun of me or because it was something to do with their real friends (in other words, they wanted to have a slumber party but couldn't throw one themselves, so they just showed up at my place and ignored me the whole time and talked to each other exclusively. Well, each other or my big sister, but not me.) My 12th party seemed like a good place to stop, as that was the night I got the gash on my knee from which I still have a scar and I figured I had problems enough without more of that nonsense.

So, anyhow, here I am throwing this stupid party that I don't even want to throw anymore because it just seems like some big stupid fucking hassle and I'd rather just go out and buy a book on Bukowski or Tesla or something and spend the evening by myself instead of having to act like the hostess that I know I'm not. I'm just not a party girl. I'm more excited about the 12-hour short film marathon on TCM the night before the party, and I'm kinda bummed that I can't stay up late and watch it because I have to be up and at 'em to get the party together on Saturday. Such a fucking chore.

I hardly ever go to parties - what the hell am I doing throwing one? Why doesn't anyone ever talk me out of this sort of nonsense? Sheesh.

And I can't even post this anywhere, because there are creeps on SU who will send creepy "oh I'll be there, honey, and you'll be sure to have a good time" messages and my friends have invaded my cyberspace over on MySpace and they'd take it the wrong way, so I'm posting it here because this is something I just have to get off my chest and nobody ever reads this page anyhow.


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