(insert song: "When You Put Your Hands on Me" by Christina Aguilera. Yes, I know it doesn't fit XD)

Sapphire clutched at his injured arm and gazed up at Diamond in despair. How? How could he make his brother see that he was being played for a fool?

" Wise Man-- " he shouted in yet another attempt. The chaos around him was distracting him. Black Lady was defeating the Sailorsenshi easily. He gasped as everything dissolved around him with the appearance of that which he feared most.

The column of energy shot past Diamond, ruffling the Prince's hair and cape in it's wake. It barreled straight for Sapphire. He couldn't move, couldn't scream, couldn't keep his promise to Petz. Nothing.

Riva stepped in front of Sapphire and held her hand out towards the column. " Hold it! "

No one was surprised when the column didn't stop.

Riva sweatdropped. " It's not working is it? "

Trunks sighed and crouched. " Kenshin. Come on. "

Trunks leaped forward to in front of Riva, while Kenshin grabbed her and Sapphire. Trunks fired a ki blast to counter the energy from Wise Man. Kenshin carried the other two to safety from the backlash. When it all fell away, everyone was alive and the majority were confused.

Yukito happily applauded Trunks and Kenshin's efforts.

" Who are you people? " Black Lady demanded.

" First name: Excel! Last name: Excel! In short: Excel! Senior Member of the Ideal World Organization A-KU-RO-SU! "

" Not you! " Black Lady snapped at the blonde girl in green shorts. She pointed to Trunks, Kenshin, and Riva. " You all! Who are YOU?! "

Totally ignoring (a) Miki looking around for Juri, and (b) the Sailorsenshi staring slack-jawed between Sailormoon and Excel, Riva brightly responded. " First name: Riva! Last name: Allard! In short: Riva! I've forgotten my affiliation, but I guarantee you it's a damn good one! " She pointed to Black Lady defiantly. " You were bad enough as an annoying little pigtailed Rabbit! In truth I rather like you better the way you are now! DEMO! I won't let you aid in poor Sapphire's demise! " Riva turned resolutely towards where Diamond and Wise Man were watching with mutual looks of confusion, " and as for your master... " Riva stuck out her tongue and pulled down her eye, gracing Wise Man, the Death Phantom, the end-all enemy for that particular season of the series, with agabe.

Needless to say, Sanzou smacked her on the head.

Duo sighed. " Thank-you Sanzou. " He gave Riva the evil eye. " You really do have no common sense, do you? "

" Heehee. "

" It's Not Funny!! "

" I will not allow any interference, " Wise Man declared, " Black Lady! Kill them all!! "

Wufei scoffed, " I won't be beaten by any woman. " He was promptly proven wrong.

**

(insert song: "Aste" by Okiayu Ryuutarou. Boy, I'm really making it hard for you to guess who Riva's master is, aren't I?)

So a man with Hiiro's voice sat down next to a man with glasses and asked in a lewd tone, " Are you enjoying yourself as much as I am? "

" Perhaps, " answered Treize's voice cryptically.

" How long until they reach our world? "

" Not much longer. "

" I can't wait. "

A humorless chuckle was emitted from pseudo-Treize. " How very like you. "

It was echoed by pseudo-Hiiro. " I could say the same for you. "

What a wonderfully non-cryptically cryptic scene, ne?

**

(insert song: "Get My Future" by Cyber Team Network. Kinda apropos that this is from Beast Wars, ne? lol ^_^)

It's not an understatement that all chaos broke loose.

Sailormoon enemies are exceedingly resourceful, thus Black Lady and Wise Man managed to pull a few dozen youma out of nowhere and soon outnumber the Sailorsenshi and the new group that had seen fit to interfere. Ryuuichi was impressed by this masterful use of hammerspace.

Riva pulled her kitana from nowhere and prepared to attack. " Yukito, you stay and take care of Sapphire, okay? "

" Hai, " Yukito said.

Sapphire blinked. " Petz? "

Duo pulled his gun from his belt and smirked. " At least those crossdressers aren't here. "

Everyone but for Wufei paused and looked at him. " ... crossdressers? "

" Yeah, you know, they were in the park, and Wufei and I... uh... " He took note of the looks he was getting. " Never mind. "

--Insert long drawn out fight scene with lots of stock footage and shouting of phrases like 'Burning Mandala' and 'Venus Love-Me Chain' and 'Sparking Wide Pressure' that are probably supposed to make sense but don't if you really, really think about it.

--Because this is a Shounen Ai story (as already established) Trunks has to save Subaru from a youma at some point in time

--Because this is the Sailormoon chapter, Tuxedo Kamen has to rescue Sailormoon and she has to say "Tuxedo Kamen-sama!" like she's surprised even though it's happened for the past, oh, 95 or so episodes.

--Insert Tuxedo Kamen speech du jour that eats up five minutes of air time. Feel free to go get a snack or check your email or write a fanfic or use the washroom at this time. You won't miss anything.

--Because Wise Man is really the Death Phantom, (as mentioned, the most powerful villain of this particular season of Sailormoon) he does nothing.

--Neither does Black Lady. Why? Because she's already beaten Wufei.

Riva sliced a youma in half with her kitana and watched as it faded to sparkly blue dust. " Oi oi, looks like the writer's getting lazy. "

" Can you blame her? " Duo muttered.

" Not in the least! "

Sanzou stood in the middle of a ring of youma. He very calmly withdrew his handgun and proceeded to shoot them all without trouble. Trunks and Kenshin were back to back, fending youma off left, right, and centre. Subaru was warding them off as well as he could with paper talismans. Ryuuichi had found effective use of a wooden yoyo, after storing a few youma away in his coat for later use. Xellos took great pleasure in taking out as many youma in one shot as he could, while careful to never actually help the others. Tasuki 'Lekka Shinen'ed youma, he flamed them like there was no tomorrow. (which is entirely plausible)

The Sailorsenshi... fought.

Prince Diamond descended to the ground and had a nice long heart-to-heart with his little brother and came to the conclusion that Sapphire was right and that Wise Man was pulling his strings and when you got right down to it, all he wanted was to screw Sailormoon silly and have a nice glass of red wine.

Yukito came to the conclusion that Sapphire was the one they were looking for and asked if Sapphire would be agreeable to the unknown journey to an unknown place for an unknown quest. Sapphire could never say no to Petz, and well, Yukito sounded like Petz so he agreed. Thus the letter appeared and everything was settled.

Xellos took on the Wise Man/Death Phantom for fun and won. Much joy was had by all.

Except for Sailorpluto who appeared and royally kicked their collective asses for totally messing up the time-space continuum.

The Sailorsenshi of time and revolution sighed and leaned on her staff. " I guess there's not much I can do about it without causing more damage. "

Tuxedo Kamen sighed in relief. " Well Sailormoon, let's go ho-- " he broke off and looked around. " Sailormoon? Sailormoon?! "

Everyone looked around and scratched their heads.

" Prince Diamond is gone too, " Sailorjupiter pointed out.

Rather than go start an ugly ruckus, Tuxedo Kamen cut his losses and disappeared with Black Lady.

Duo gave the retreating couple a disgusted look. " Oh greeaaat... incest. That's worse than Trunks and Vejiita doing it. "

Trunks turned green and leaned heavily on Subaru for support.

" What are you people doing here anyway? " Sailormars asked.

Everyone looked at Riva. They weren't exactly happy looks for the most part either.

Riva put one hand behind her head and smiled weakly. " Well you see.... we're not entirely sure. We're going on a journey to some place to do something. My master isn't telling and I've forgotten. " She tried laughing at the situation but it came out a little lamely.

The Sailorsenshi blinked.

" Then... how do you know you're doing something good? " Sailormercury ventured to inquire.

Riva shrugged. " Good or bad, it doesn't matter. It's fun! "

" But what are you getting out of it? " Mercury asked again.

Stars appeared in Riva's eyes. She clasped her hands and shook her head from side to side quickly. " Goshujin-sama no ai!! "

" Her master's love... " Subaru translated quietly.

Duo inputted himself in front of the shoujo bubble and flowers and pointed out. " Not that she remembers her master's name. "

Riva pushed him out of the picture and onto his face. " That's beside the point! "

Duo got back up and shouted at her. " How is that beside the point! You're doing all this crap for fun without real purpose for someone who obviously couldn't care less about you!! "

It was then that Riva decked him. Spinning on her heel she took off down the street.

" You sound jealous, " Sanzou said flatly.

Duo spat to the side and hmmphed. " As if. I just wanna go home. Right Wu-man? "

Wufei just glared at him.

" ... well... " Sailorjupiter struggled for something to say. " Hey! Why don't we treat you guys to sodas or something? Since you're not really from this dimension it doesn't matter if you know who we really are, and, well, Sapphire's probably gonna find out anyway. "

" That would be very nice of you, " Subaru accepted for the group, as the unofficial official leader was pouting.

**

(insert song: "Love Loyalty" by the Excel Girls. You *know* I had to include this song)

Excel looked across the street and blinked her wide green eyes in recognition. " Hi~i! Rivachan!! "

Riva paused in her running and looked back. She blinked her violet eyes in recognition as well and called back, " Hi~i Excelchan!! "

Excel ran across the street to meet her. Being hit by the truck of course didn't slow her down for very long. The two girls greeted each other again, now being face to face and actually able to hear each other. Excel grinned, a single fang standing out over her bottom lip. " Long time no see! How is the other Senior Member of Across? "

" Not good, " Riva frowned. " I've been forgetting stuff. Important stuff; like the name of my master. "

" Crawford-sama? "

" Arara? "

" Crawford-sama. He made a deal with Il Purazzo-sama to borrow you from Across. He and Il Purazzo-sama were childhood friends. " Excel proudly showed off her obsessive knowledge of all that was Il Purazzo.

Watanabe walked up to the two girls. " Ah, Next Door Neighbour. Have you seen Ayasugi-san? "

" WAI! " hearing Watanabe's voice, Riva had no choice but to glomp.

Excel pried Riva off of Watanabe, who looked about as overheated as one could get.

Riva giggled nervously. " I'm sorry, what was that name again? "

" Ayasugi-san. "

" Uh... never mind Rivachan. Wanna go meet my new partner? "

" A-ya-su-gi-sa-n... "

" Nah, I think I should get back to the guys so we can move on. "

" Uh, Moshi-moshi? "

" Okay then. I'll tell Il Purazzo-sama you said 'hi' okay? "

" Ano... "

" Arigatou! "

" I'm looking for- "

" No problem Rivachan! "

" -Ayasugi-san... "

" Really, I forget what I was so worked up over. "

" Hello...? "

" It probably was nothing. "

" Aya... sugi-san? "

" See you later Excelchan! "

" See you later Rivachan! "

Thus, Riva and Excel went in opposite directions, leaving Watanabe completely forgotten in the middle.

**

(insert song: "Isotype Newtype" by Seki Tomokazu. Listen to the introduction to this song, it fits beyond all comprehension)

Riva appeared in the doorway of the Crown Fruit Parlor and pointed at the guys. " Hurry and finish your drinks boys. We're going to Yagyu-001 to search for a 529 year old samurai! "

There was a pause as shocked silence befell the group.

" She forgot what she was mad about, " Duo muttered.

**

Next chapter: The Confusion Only Gets Worse