Anime-niac's Realm: Pointless Ramble

This was written by me [Aeva], Uschi, and Bess via e-mail. Bess started it, and it was e-mailed along to create this pathetic monstrosity.. I have editted the names so that no one would be offended.

The part in red was written by Bess; the parts in pink by yours truely, and the part in white by Uschi.

Before you read, you should be notified that my friend and I made up an Uschi song, the 'sacrifices' from my English class are *coughough* JACKASSES *cough and "Kristin" is a very perverted friend of mine, and she named many countries after specific "bases". Canada just happens to be.... *ahem*
Why are you so hushed? You say that kinda stuff to ME all of the time!
@_@' There are little children present!

The Goods and Bads of the Human Genome Project:
(Note: These statements are not to be taken seriously in any dimension,
planet or shoe store so please do not take any precautions against the
mentioned unless you think it necessary, which if you do you are probably an
idiot.)

1. People will live much longer (that's good)
2. The planet becomes overpopulated (that's bad)
3. The lines for public bathrooms steadily grow longer and longer (that's also bad)
4. People explode from bladder overload (that's very bad)
5. The world turns into a steaming pile of shit (that sucks)
6. A new type of creature evolves from the mire and is able to create a new earth and thus evolution continues as usual (that's good)
7. The new group of shit evolvers are pro-choice and therefore their population doesn't get out of hand (that's good)
8. The new species discovers the Shit Evolver Genome Project and the whole thing happens again (that's bad)
9. These cycles of evolution keep happening until Bob the alien from Uxerell blows up Earth because he lost a bet with his friend Joe from Krypton (that's
bad because there is no more Earth, but it is also good because Bob is a dick).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You all may have wondered what would happen is a human being was cloned. Thanks to *extensive* scientific research and a lollipop, I have come up with the result os the FAQ.

TEST SUBJECT: Aeva

1. Aeva was succesfully cloned, and scienists were proud (thats good)
2. They clone her again (thats ok)
3. ....and again (not good)
4. Scientists build a mashine to clone Aevas (very bad)
5. Murder of Geometry teachers drastically increases (thats VERY good)
6. More and more songs about Uschi appear on the radio (good for Maria)
7. Fascinated by the cloning process, tourist bombard her with questions (thats bad)
8. They all die in a "freak fishing accident" (good)
9. the Aevas get out of hand and begin to kill everyone that ever pissed them off (that's good)
10. All the scientists perish, and no one knows how to stop the Aeva-Cloning Mashine (VERY bad)
11. Aevas take over the world (good)
12. In the midst of this tragidy, Japan rises and becomes ruler of the world (EXTREEMELY good)
13. Anime fans are world-wide (good to the tenth power)
14. Disputes break out over whether Allen or Van is hotter (thats bad)
15. the Aeva Clone Mashine is imroved by Japanese technology (that sucks)
16. the army of Aevas get pissed off and begin creating Evil Aeva Clones (thats..... not good)
17. Aevas are breathing all the air and keep getting cloned (that's very bad)
18. Scientists are all dead and Aevas rule everything
19. the Aevas blow up the world (that's good 'cause everyone's dead)
20. Mystery Bob, being an alien, saves the Aeva Cloning Mashine and brings it to Planet X, where the whole thing starts over again. (that just sucks)

NOTE: Yet again, this is not to be taken seriously, and those of you who do must be real dick-heads that spend their time talking to walls named Bob. The only time you should keep note of this message is when the little white faries come into your room at night. KILL THEM!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<<Have you been aware that Uschi's been paying too much attention in biology??>>

The Goods and Bads of A Totalitarian Uschi-ish world Victim (I mean..."volunteer")~> Uschi

1. Uschi becomes ruler of the world!! (I think... that's... good...)
2. Uschi gets whatever she wants (that's bad)
3. Castro and Hussein get mad and threaten her with their nukes (that's very bad...)
4. Being ruler of the world, Uschi summons the little white fairies to "dispose" of the tyrants (that's good)
5. The little white fairies are republicans and demand sacrifices for their deeds(that's bad)
6. That means Uschi can't give them George Bush (aw darnit...)
7. Instead, she exiles them to Canada with 2 certain "sacrifices" from our english class... (that's good)
8. All the Kristins in the world beg to be exiled to Canada too (that's good if your Kristin)
9. Uschi bans all songs that praise and honor Uschi (that's just plain confusing)
10. Uschi finds the Shit Evolver Genome Project (that's bad)
11. She dumps it into the depths of the ocean (that's good)
12. Mutant jellyfish find this and use this information and become smart (that's bad)
13. They destroy the Shit Evolver Genome Project (that's good)
14. After they had made a million copies of it (that's bad)
15. The jellyfish decide to abandon their deep ugly home in the ocean (that's good)
16. ...For the ability to take over humankind (that's extremely bad)
17. Uschi uses the Aeva Cloning Machine as her last hope (that's plain desperation)
18. The jellyfish insert their pGLO DNA into the Aeva Clones (that's bad)
19. Under UV light, Aeva clones glow in every color of the rainbow (that's good)
20. Uschi takes the transformed Aevas, signs them to a contract, and puts them on a concert tour where they glow and sing at the same time (that's very profitable)
21. Someone forgets to tell Uschi that UV light, especially in large amounts, kills people (that's bad)
22. The Aeva clones decide to share their pGLO plasmids with everyone in the audience (that's really bad)
23. Thanks to Aeva clones, everyone in the world has the ability to glow under UV light and is also ampicillin resistant (no comment)
24. Uschi remembers that UV light completely stops them from reproducing (that's good)
25. With the exception of white fairie-guarded Canada, everyone dies off (that's bad)
26. Everyone in Canada votes to change Australia's motto to "One Finger or Two?" (that's just wrong)
27. Uschi introduces Sex Ed to the Kristinized culture and everyone turns out okay (that's good)
28. Until Mr. Parker of HHS teaches the class (that's bad)
29. Cue the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th generations of Kristins (that may be good... let me ponder that)
30. Uschi <<sometimes, always, never>> makes cupcakes (completely irrelevant... or is it?)
31. Uschi puts tranquilizer in the cupcakes and subdues the Kristins for good(that's good)
32. Uschi gets hungry (surprise surprise) and eats the cupcakes (that's bad)
33. Uschi knocks into the button launching the nuclear missiles of the world (that's really bad)
34. All the humans escape and with advanced technology, they go live on the moon, foiling the many conspiracy theories (that's good)

The End... or is it??

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHAT IF...USCHI MET FIDEL CASTRO?

1. Uschi plots to take over the world (thats good)
2. Meanwhile, Fidel Castro plots against her (that's not so good)
3. Uschi conquers the world.... and wins (YAY!)
4. In search of revenge, Castro bans sugar trade from America (bad)
5. Uschi is now unable to make her famous java because of lack of sugar (NOOOO!)
6. Makie is put into a state of depression (*gasp*)
7. Uschi tries to use artificial sweetener, but the little white faries from Canada get to it first (not so good)
8. Because the faries are Canadian, the mix of artificial sugar-high and raising 'pleasure' levels causes a population growth (....)
9. Uschi, enraged and cranky, declares war against Cuba (dun dun dun dun....)
10. Uschi hires the thousands of radio-active Aeva clones and orders them to glow under UV light and attract passing Goddesses. (Good as long as Skuld ain't there)
11. Because the Aevas made a large investment in Nestea and drank just a lil' too much, they forgot their mission and wished for their entire Aeva-ish race to become demons (that's good...... or is it bad?)
12. Under the influence of Nestea, they just *happen* to mention to Urd about Canada, and she poofs herself over there.
13. Ushci vents her anger by killing off two.... unneccessary items..... in English class (^_^)
14. America becomes a good country and everyone is happy and joyful (gut gemacht!)
15. Castro sends Elian Gonzalaz back to Miami and everyone is so happy its sickening. (yay!*gag* yay!)
16. Somehow, Cuba gains more and more information on Americans.... (hmm....)
17. And more....
18. Castro gains control of America (we're better off)
19. Canadians begin to suffer from overpopulation and move onto American borders (uh-oh)
20. Cuba gets ahold of the Human Genome Project and alters Canadian DNA to be warlike (very bad)
21. Something goes wrong and the Canadians take up masochism. (that's just.... yich.)
22. They figure it would be more fun to lick more stuff (being in Canada), so they use the Human Genome Project to create advanced Canadians that have 3 tongues! (*cringe*)
23. The Aeva-Demon Clones with the pGLO DNA crave companions, so they merge the real world with the anime world (hot anime guys... *drool*)
24. Mackie (the horny guy from BubbleGum Crisis) ends up in Canada with his sister somehow.... (thats just wrong)
25. Ravid Boomers and Guymelfs attack the planet (that sucks)
26. The Aeva-Demon Clones with the pGLO DNA get more vexed (beware)
27.... and they send everyone back in time (thats..... go--....bad---... i dunno)
28. A mysterious compound from the mutant jellyfish allows them to be the only ones not sent back in time-- they can time travel (thats very convenient)
29. The Aevas teach modern concepts to ancient man (that's good for women's and civil rights)
30. Every man glows in the dark (what pretty colors)
31. Mysteries of the world get solved--- there was one continent, God didn't create the world, and White Faries built the Pyramids.
32. The Aevas also discover why the dinos dies out: they had a low sperm count (that's not good)
33. The various Aevas play all female roles in all animes, considering the anime world is merged (that's very tempting.... very very tempting)
34. One Aeva, using her psycic powers--er, Epseon--, finds out the future parents of Julius Ceaser are going to have a boy (that's obvious)
35. She changes all of Mr. Ceaser's sperm to X's, and the parents have a little girl named Julie-ish Ceaser (that's so cute!)
36. Julie-ish does all the schtuff Julius would have, and also invents the calculator (sucks for Al Gore)
37. All world leaders are named Uschi. (hmmm)
38. All major wars known to the first Earth are prevented, except for one between Russia and England (a person sent back in time seems to remember something about his Beard and England.... that's bad....)
39. England wins and kills off all ancestors of what would be Alex Zdan (YAY!)
40. Realizing they'd never see Laura, the Aeva clones create Laura Zdan and preserves her in a liquid blue goop (Dr. Evil wasn't original!)
41. In the year 1995, Agumon picks a fight with Pikachu, claiming "We don't all live in a Pokémon world! It's White Fairy propaganda! I live in the Digiworld! Di-di-di-Digimon! (Pikachu was fried, and Ash trains a Charizard. YAY!)
42. The Human Genome Project is founded again, and everyone dies off (ow.)
43. The remaining humans and Aeva-Demons move to Gaea and live happily ever after (...or not)
44. Another fate-alter mashine is constructed (that's bad)
45. Human life is finally over (YAY!)
46. Various DNA particals from the ruins of civilization come together to form a mega-creature suited to all conditions, including heat, cold, pressure, gravity, and bladder overload.
47. The saga continues.....

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