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The work there was interesting, working as an outreach worker for a new state drug rehab and prevention program. Got to know the kids of the era, spent lots of time learning new guitar licks, and driving/hiking the beautiful mountains there. A real treat was a part time job as a DJ at a little radio station that played pre-recorded Country and Western that even the owner didn't listen to except to make sure I didn't slip in a Chicago cut now and then. Well then it was up in the world to the big metropolis of Missoula in 1976 and the University of Montana where by 1981 I finally secured a degree and started a career as an organizational management consultant and system strainer. Running around to everything from Indian Reservations, to corporate board rooms, governors conferences, and little ma and pa groceries trying to get the world to work more productively, with less stress. Damned near killed me. In 1983 I entered a graduate program that changed my life forever. The
Leadership Institute of Seattle/Spokane (LIOS) allowed me the personal
and professional awareness to finally at 35 start both a real career and
a life with a sense of integrity.
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This was also the period when I became a parent for the first time, went into recovery from alcoholic family stuff, and found a spiritual life that really worked for me. This was the decade of the 80's and I lived it rather fully. By the late 80's I had given up the consulting (tired of the travel-too distant from my daughter) and settled into life as a therapist. 1988 was an amazing year. In 12 months I got a divorce, started a pregnancy, bought a new home, surged the practice to 110%, got remarried, welcomed my second child to the world, and had a heart attack. What a year! The 1980's were a decade of discovery for me. Almost everything changed in my experience of myself and my world and continued to bloom into the 1990's. One of the most interesting things I did professionally was leading men's retreats, helping other men develop there full human nature. Yup that was me up there in the woods, beating drums, chanting and teaching guys to be ok with feelings.
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The 1990's
The next decade was one of seeing my practice continue to grow, re-directing my health, working hard on a new marriage, getting my oldest through high school, youngest through primary, and ending with a resolve to change my gender. There were many fine events in the 90's. My oldest, her mom, and stepfather went to Australia for a year, 93-94, and I got to go and visit. That was my first time off the North American continent and I loved it. The Aussies are a very welcoming people and although I was there in full male mode, that was I think where I made the resolve to really take my female gender seriously. I suppose all along the single most significant factor retarding my transition was my parenthood. I love being a dad. And I have two of the most wonderful gals in the world for daughters. And I wanted to minimize the impact of my uniqueness on them. They had a good father and none of us wanted to risk losing that part of all our lives. Like many I was very adept at living a role. I like who I was as a man. I just really needed to finally let myself become complete in the expression of my entire identity, that meant lots of change. After lots of tears and discussion my family structure changed again.
The second divorce, like the first, ended with good friends and co-parents.
This concluded in 1998 and I transitioned from male life to female life
in the spring of 1999.
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Next Installment: Transition and Beyond