“At the risk of breaking the bubble; can you believe this is happening?”
“No. But then again this is Smallville, here, you have to expect the unexpected.”
“That’s for damn sure; you’ve seen the Wall of Weird.”
“You don’t think we belong on there, do you? Whatever-this-is may be unconventional, but it’s not that weird.”
“No. This is good.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Have you noticed that it’s been months since there has been anything strange going on? Besides principal Kwan praising me on last week’s editorial, that is.”
“It’s the meteor rocks.”
“You mean I was right about them?” She perked up sitting up next to him to give him her undivided attention.
“I’ve had them analyzed extensively. I have a small team working to eradicate the problem.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been removing them. It’s taking time only because we have to be so disrcreat.”
“What are you doing with them?” She asked, trying not to sound suspicious of him.
“Nothing. They’re being buried in big lead containers on a desert island. No chance of seepage.”
“Promise.”
“I wouldn’t lie about this. I’m not saying we have them all, but we should have most of them by now.”
“Speaking of meteors, do you have any theories about Clark?”
“About Clark. I don’t mean to be rude Chloe, but what I know or don’t know about him is between Clark and I.”
“You know he’s been acting distant lately,” she continued, deciding not to press the issue. He was talking to her comfortably, and she needed him to be her friend. She had once told Clark that everyone kept secrets. She knew that the only chance she had of feeling good about this relationship at this point in her life, is if both of them knew they could tell each other whatever they wanted.
“I haven’t seen him in a couple of weeks.”
“He just seems distracted, like he’s hearing voices.”
“He probably has super hearing.”
“Yes, but it’s more than that,” she continued, deciding not to grill him about what they seemed to both know.
“Have you checked to see if Lana Lang is in the vicinity when you observe this?” he covered.
“No, and it’s been happening more and more. Maybe it’s just the end of school. It’s so surreal, we’re finishing high school!” She exclaimed, as if trying to come to grips with it.
“I remember the feeling. When you’re in it, you can’t believe it will EVER end and then it does and it leaves you…”
“With a sort of emptiness. I’m not saying I am not anticipating graduating, I’m just saying-“
“I know.”
“So why are you not telling Clark?”
“God, I’ve only known officially for a couple of hours. I still have to research my condition and get ready for the surgery, while trying to pass exams and finish all my projects. Clark seems to have enough on his plate and considering he feels responsible for everyone around him and he can’t cure me… I’d rather wait. I don’t want to be the person to put that look in his eye again. I don’t think I could stand him following me around, trying to make sure I’m okay.”
“And what about Pete?”
“He’s got this girlfriend, Janette. They are attached at the hip and he looks so comfortable and happy. He got his acceptance letter to M.U. and his parents are letting him take the new journalism program that emphasizes sports, instead of going into medicine like he was supposed to. Although they told me if his grades weren’t in the 90th percentile; he would be cutting up cadavers in anatomy class by next semester…”
“Yum.” He deadpanned.
“He’s just so exited. We’re finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel of hell that is high school. It’s over. We hand in some papers, we take about 4 exams and then it’s bye bye Smallville High. I’m putting together my very last edition of the Torch this Thursday.”
“He’s your friend. One of your very best friends.”
“Yes he is.”
“So?”
“So, I did plan on telling him I just wanted to give him this weekend.”
“And your father?”
“How do you tell the man who raised you that you could die like your mother? How do you tell him that at the very least you’re going to suffer and even though you are thinking positive and you think you can handle it, it’s going to be hard as hell. I might have to give up my scholarship. I’m his only child and he may never have grandchildren.”
“Same with my father. I think he’s trying to develop a drug to boost sperm count especially for my condition. That’s so like him. Not caring about his son but wanting to make sure some poor woman can have his baby so his name won’t die out.”
“You don’t want children?”
“In a perfect world, I would have 4 or 5 or 6 or however many my wife would allow. I’d help them with homework, I’d play in the backyard and I would let them crawl into our bed if they got scared. Pathetic isn’t it? Wanting something you can never have. Something you aren’t cut out for.”
“Oh.”
Chloe knocked herself for not thinking straight. She hadn’t told him about everything the doctor had said. She would just have to wait until she knew for sure before she tried broaching the subject.
“Lex.”
“Chloe.”
“Let’s talk about something a little more… not depressing.”
“So, I’ve been wondering. Who’d you go down on?”
“You’re such a guy!”
“Why ‘cause my brain went to sex? I just want to know if I have competition?” < Besides Clark >
“No one you know.”
“I guess what I mean is why? You seemed genuinely shy and-“
“Prudish? – I was after that whole incident with Sean. It was what bothered me the most about myself, that I let this guy shut me off just when I was starting to feel... like a girl. For a long time after it didn’t interest me at all, but then it did and I still couldn’t get myself to do anything about it.”
“So what happened?”
“Just before school started this year, I went to visit my cousin in Canada. She had a group of friends that hung out at her house all the time, who I had seen there every summer before. His name was Martin and he had this cute little French accent when he spoke English. I liked that he didn’t really know me and he listened to me talk and especially that he always looked like he wanted to kiss me. So one day, I did.” She finished nonchalantly. “We had lots of fun together that week.”
“I bet you did,” he teased.
“Hey let me tell the story. So there we were on my last night there and he wanted to have sex. I thought it would ruin everything, but I was curious about penises and how they worked *and if you say anything I will cut out your intestines and wear them as a necklace* and so I let it go a little further than I intended. He ended up asking me to take him in my mouth and I did. Like I said, I don’t know if it was any good. When I got back here, I was so embarrassed, I didn’t tell anyone, return his phone calls or anything. I asked my cousin to tell him ‘it’s not you it’s me.’”
“Ha. And that was all?”
“No. You know for Christmas break my dad and I went to Mexico to perfect our Spanish?”
“Yes, I asked him to for business.”
“We were staying in this big house and one night, the women that were staying with the same family wanted us to go to a disco. I didn’t want to, I abhor such places. People touch you and want to talk to you and unless it’s people I know, or I’m there for a story, I don’t want to go. My dad turned them down but I went that night just so I didn’t have to listen to them whine for an hour about how I am a party pooper.”
Lex laughed at her explanation.
“Don’t you laugh at me Lex Luthor. It’s not my fault; they really did use the words party pooper.”
“You have to be careful in Mexico because eye contact is an invitation.” “You’re telling me. I drank my Negra Modelo and had cigarette after cigarette. I stared straight at the girl in front of me for hours, trying to look involved, unavailable and slightly antisocial. Every time someone would touch me on the shoulder to ask for a dance, I wouldn’t even turn around, I would just lift up my hand ‘No’. Then one guy came back to ask why I wouldn’t dance with him. I turned around and saw him. He was really tall with long curly hair and a sweet face. There was absolutely no malice to this guy. So I said yes and followed him to the dance floor.”
Lex raised an eyebrow, watching her lost in her memory.
“He was a wonderful salsa dancer and the band was playing songs that I could follow. We danced at least 8 of them. I had to go sit down; I was tired and my friends were looking worried. I told him I was going for a beer and would be back in ten minutes. He must have not heard me because his face fell like I was abandoning him. So I walked back over to where he was standing on the dance floor and kissed him right on the lips. He smiled. We went out on three dates after that night. He took me to the mirador to see the town skyline and the stars the night before I left. He cried a little bit. He was very sweet. So we kissed and since I really didn’t want to do it for the first time in a car where anyone could see, I unzipped his pants. He was shocked but he managed to request a couple of things. He cursed some. I think he liked it a little too much, but I was never really sure.”
“So, you have a tendancy to go buck wild when you’re out of town?”
“It’s just easier when people around don’t know me. And now you know my dirty little secrets. What are yours?”
“What is this twenty questions?”
“I told you mine.”
“Oooo. Maybe she does have an ulterior motive.” He said, retracting his arm from around her and getting up to stretch his legs.
“Lex, I don’t. Fine, I’ll tell you more of mine: I like 80s music and John Waters movies. Hairspray is my personal favorite. When I was a kid, I begged my mom for a perm so I would look like Jennifer Gray in Dirty Dancing. I don’t find people burping loudly gross. No matter how mentally challenged they are, I’ve caught myself scoping out jocks and once or twice I’ve had to restrain myself from punching Lana out when she hadn’t done anything at all. Do you want more? I’m sure if I digged deeper I could find some more embarrassing things.”
“You don’t have time for all of my secrets and lies and adolescent behavior. You really want to know?”
“Only if you want to tell me.”
“I’ll give you some of the highlights. I have to tell you though, it could get ugly.”
“Uglier that knowing all the words and dances to Hairspray?”
“Let’s see.”
Lex’s eyes got darker and his whole composure changed. Chloe thought of stopping him, but he started talking, sounding bitter and sad.
“I killed a squirrel once when I was a kid, after my mother died. My father made sure I was an expert marksman from an insanely early age and I was mad, so I gunned it down, watched it explode. You see, I was this sensitive little whiny asthmatic when I was a kid, but by the time I went to bording school, I was an arrogant little prick who was rude and got into fights. I also had an affair with a female teacher and two male students, and not all at the same time, if you’re wondering…” He said, half smiling. He started walking away from her and she had to strain to hear him. His voice was going up and down I volume, like he didn’t have the strenghth to keep his voice clear and leveled.
“I even blackmailed a priest into resigning. You’d be surprised how many people you have to blackmail when you’re a Luthor. It’s hard to keep track. At college, I had 2 real friends. One was this nice, shy person called Amanda. Now Mandy never cared about my money or who was in my bed or the fact that I turned into a completely different person when my father was around. She was just this girl I would talk to. And then there’s Bruce Wayne, who was as weird and twisted as they come, while still being fundamentally good. He always said I wasn’t born evil. I liked that idea so I kept him around. On the weekends I would put on a good show. I’d make some drugs, take them with whoever I had passing as friends at the time, we’d go out partying and I would wake up with a hot body or two next to mine.”
“I’m sure you’ve guessed that when you’re famous, or infamous as the case may be, you don’t hear no very often. ‘Yes, mister Luthor, you can bring that underage boy to the club; yes, mister Luthor, you can use the back room to shoot up; yes orgies are fine with us and money will get you everywhere’. Club Zero was fun. Everything that happened there had absolutely to consequences on the outside, and people really could do anything there, if they had money. I had Mandy’s fiancé checked out and was told he had this nasty little habit of cheating on her on a regular basis. He seemed to use the VIP room at the club on Saturday nights to meet up with women when she thought he was on a buisiness trip. One Saturday, I convinced Amanda to come with me. Long story short, there was a fight. He knifed me and by the time I focused on what was happening a gun had been fired. I was flying high that night, although you would never have known it. Still, I knew Mandy had to shoot her own fiancé because my reflexes weren’t up to par. I used a corrupt cop to sweep it under the rug. I told him I had done it. I cut off contact with Amanda and I was sent here to get clean and stay out of trouble. I was really out of control, but I didn’t see that, which is weird, because Luthor’s are supposed to always have control.”
“Anything else?”
“Remember that old women Clark was visiting, the one who could see the future?”
“Cassandra.”
“She died while having a vision of my future.”
“Really,” she considered. “You know, not everything is your fault, right? Old people have this tendancy to die.”
“Amanda killed herself a few months later. I found out that time when the dolpenganger kidnapped me.”
“oh.”
“Still want to be here?”
“Maybe you can tell me the rest one day.”
Lex looked like he was about to say something when his upper body tensed up. He turned away from her and leaned against the wall, banging his head.
“Chloe, I can’t do this. I can’t tell you things like this.”
“But I can tell you the things I’ve told you? But we can make love? Lex, these aren’t normal surcumstances. With everything that’s happening, can you understand why I never want to be bullshitted again? It’s just not worth it, Lex. Even if I make it out of this with flying colors, I don’t want to be with anyone who would play games with me. I don’t want to waste my time with anyone who can’t tell me what they’re thinking and I certainly can’t be with someone who doesn’t respect that I can evolve. I’m not going to do a story on you Lex. Unless I learn you’ve been experimenting on humans or building bombs for terrorists, you’re off the hook.”
“You laugh now but my father may very well be doing exactly that. I try to keep tabs on him but he’s very good at hiding what he does. I really didn’t know about Level three. I learned that I had to find things out for myself that day. When Clark saved my life for the second time.”
“What do you do when you learn you’re father is doing something unethical?”
“I sabotage him, I try to stop him without blowing my cover. I’m not sure if I’m doing any good though. He probably starts up somewhere else the very next day. I don,t know why I bother.”
“Oh, my god. You’re exactly like Clark with guilt. Why do you think you’re responsible for what your father does? Do you know he is an entirely different person than you? He has a separate body and a separate mind and everything.”
“I know, but-”
“No buts, Lex Luthor. Come on over her with me. We’ll finish our beers and- sit quietly.
Lex walked back over to the couch. He sighed and put his hand on Chloe’s thigh.
“I understand that you’ve had an epiphany. The same thing happened to me when Clark pulled me out of that river and got some breath into my lungs again. I had a second chance. I get all of that Chloe. I just… Life can never be like that for me.”
“And why the hell not? ‘Cause it would be too simple? ‘Cause you don’t think you deserve to have at least one person in your life that will listen to you and won’t lie to you? That is plain stupid Lex. ”
“I have Clark.”
“I bet you’re too busy dancing around your feelings and trying to pay him back for saving your life that you don’t really trust him with yourself, am I right?”
“Clark and I are friends.”
“Would you ever tell him what you’ve you told me?”
“No, but-“
“But nothing.”
“Are we having an argument?”
“No, a real argument would imply that we both had valid points. This time, I’m right and you’re wrong.”
Chloe got up and left Lex on the couch. She told him she was going to go snoop around for awhile, leaving him time to think about what she had said.
