For everyone I've ever let down,
and all the promises I couldn't keep,
for all the broken hearts
and especially all the times I lied...
I suffer eternal.

Even when I apologize, it is only half-hearted
because it's hard to feel anything.
And maybe I still don't admit my faults entirely
because I still don't understand how it happened.
I'm all alone in this.

Am I guilty if I didn't know it was a crime?
Is it my fault I didn't learn?
I ask because I'm also blamed for the crimes of others.
Thats why I deny my faults.
I'm in this endless cycle.

Two words, long ago, I defended myself and made enemies.
Those words led my life through hell's roller coaster.
I was never able to stop and get off.
I never even bought a ticket to get on.
They bought it for me.

Tied me up with a rope of fear,
gagged my mouth with anxiety.
Hit me on the head with hate
and left me alone and self-conscious on a dangerous ride.
I want to get off so bad!

But I've grown accustom to the wild turns and crazy loops.
Gotten use to putting up with the sickness.
In a way, I'd rather be stuck here
because I'm far,
far away from their grasp.