SOUPERNATURAL II: WHEN ANIMALS ATTACK...OTHER ANIMALS!

or

KIBBLES AND BITS: KRISTIN-FLAVORED!

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THE DANGEROUS THING ABOUT WEARING RAVE PRODUCTS

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KRISTIN: THE HUMAN CANINE!
by Dennie-chan (in a midnight-daze-of silliness)

[Enter Kristin/Kelly in a Kelly Ripa-wannabe outfit and a microphone. She is on the scene of a serious crime. She is on the scene reporting...supposedly...]

Kristin/Kelly: (Talking into camera in fake voice) And here we are, on the scene of the crime, where two people have been arrested--

Police Officer: Hey Dumb blonde! Stay out of the damn way! Can't you see there's an investigation going on here?!

Kris/Kelly: Dumb Blonde?! I am NOT a dumb blonde, thank you! I went to college and studied dance and--

Director: (Throwing his $200 pair of Ray-Bans on the floor and stomping on them) CUT! Dammit, Kristin, can you act at all?!

Kristin: Well, excuse me for being offended! He called me a dumb blonde!

Director: Well, he's also a good judge of character.

(Kristin screeches.)

Director: Shut up, Kristin. I've heard enough.

Kristin: (Mouth wide) I AM NOT SHUTTING UP! WHERE IS MY HUSBAND? I'M CALLING MY AGENT!

Director: What agent? You mean that pimp that sleeps outside your trailer?

(Kristin doesn't speak but makes a high shrill sound instead. The dogs perk up.)

Director: (Worried) Uh.. Kristin?

Kristin: (Shrilly) WHAT?!

(Before he can speak, the dogs come for her. The cast and crew look away as the aspiring young (old) actress Kristin Willits is turned into Kibbles and Bits.)

Director: (Lamenting to the makeup artist) And she was wearing the studio's best Armani suit, too.

Makeup Artist: That was Armani? I thought that came from that Rave* store across the street.

Director: Oh yeah. (Shrugs.) No big loss. (To everyone else) That's a wrap, people! And get Kevin Max's hair off of the floor! He's shedding again!

*Kinda ironic since I work there...he he...just jabbing at G&G a little... Just kidding...