Lately I have been thinking of changing my handle, partially because I have been using this one for a long time,, and partially because I feel that my current handle no longer is a true representation of my life image.Its not that I feel like I am a powerful force or anything like that, its just a feeling that I am different,, a small part of the puzzel, yet important to the future. After much thought, I chanced upon a name that may fit me better.
Muad'Dib Muad'Dib is a central charactor from the story of Dune that goes through some life changes. I see myself changing, for some as yet to me unknown purpose.
I have been thinking that perhaps a change to "Muad'Dib" would fit me better in this phase of my growth. In the story there was an energy aquired with Paul Atreides's maturing, so profound as to be, (I really do not know how to describe the feeling), it is a good thing I am sure. Something given to me in trust.
I see the strength of charactor in this man as something akin to what I feel inside. I recently had an experience while with 2 special friends. the details are very personal, but suffice to say that there was an event, that to me, signaled a change in me. What this change means, I really do not yet know. It might sound like I have a God complex!, But it could not be further from that.
The idea of, "Nothing happens without a reason" comes to mind. There are so many conflicting emotions flowing in and around me these days.. I do feel a power that comes from within my being, and it is growing. I have always been tender in nature, and still am. One of the things I love to do, is help people, as many have seen. There is a strength building within my being, for what purpose, I know not. This may be why the event I felt so strongly the other day effected me so..
I fully understand that the story is a work of fiction, but there are many paralells to me, and the changes I have felt. I hope you do not think I have finally lost it entirely.
04/08/97, I have since experienced additional changes, and have once again started using Pan as my handle, as it fits.
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