From: Elizabeth Bales (fatima@SLIP.NET)
Reply-To: Galaxy Rangers <RANGER-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU>
To: RANGER-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU
Subject: A Number of Nikos
Date: Sun, 31 Jan 1999 06:43:18 -0800
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Blame it on the late hour and possibly the goldfish crackers. Further
twistedness contributed by the Bear.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey, Goose, did I ever tell you about the time I almost got
stuck
in this thing?"
Goose looked over his shoulder. He and Niko were sifting
through the absolutely enormous pile of spare parts, half-dissected somoflanges,
unidentifiable artifacts and just plain junk that most of BETA called
"Q-Ball's Junkpile." He tossed another likely thingamajig into the
growing pile in front of him. *Before much longer I'll have enough parts to
boost the output on my stereo speakers another 15 decibels,* he thought, and
grinned in anticipation. *Beat that, Doc!*
Niko stood before a scorched and blasted contraption, vaguely
reminiscent of an antique autodoc.
"Huh? Isn't that that duplicator Lazarus Slade built?"
Niko nodded. "It cranked out over 25 little Buzz babies before
it ran out of paper. I think it was the biggest mess I've ever seen
Q-Ball’s lab... and about the most upset I've seen him."
"You never told me you climbed in there."
"I didn't. I'd just done a reading for Q-Ball so he could
figure out where Buzz and Little Zach were -- and then they came back. Q-Ball
ran off to find out what had happened, so he didn't see that some of the
cables in there had grabbed me. If it hadn't been for Little Zach, who knows
what would have happened?"
Goose let out a bark of laughter. "Just think of it! Hordes of
little Nikos! Think they'd be babies or just little elfish critters?"
She shuddered. "I'd rather not think about it. Besides, it's
more likely I'd just have gotten fried. Remember, that machine was set up to
draw energy for the baby Buzzwangs by tapping into Buzz's power supply."
He shook his head and tossed a final part onto his pile. "Well,
nothing happened. Help me with this?"
Goose set his tray down with a flourish. Niko and Doc stared in
dismay at the contents of his plate. Niko found her voice first.
"Goose... what is that?"
He started ticking off ingredients. "Fillet of cod, anchovy
paste, pesto, peanut butter, chili paste, curry powder, bread crumbs,
diced onions..." He trailed off as Niko pushed her plate away from her. "You
didn't finish your custard," he noted with a lopsided grin.
"I lost my appetite. Again."
"Mind if I...? Thanks!" He grabbed the mostly-full dish and set
it on his tray.
"What is it with you and this stuff, my Goose man?" Doc
demanded, eyes still glued to Goose's plate. "You're getting worse than Q-Ball."
Goose sat and took an experimental bite. "Hey, not bad."
Niko and Doc watched in horrified awe as he worked his way
Through the meal and then sat back with a sigh.
"Thanks for the custard, Niko," he said. "Hit the spot."
Goose walked alone down the corridor to work on his interceptor.
This late at night the hallways of BETA Mountain were nearly deserted.
On the way from his quarters to the hangar he met only a cleaning robot or
two.
The door to the hangar bay slid open. Goose frowned.
Giggling? In the hangar bay?
He glanced around, unsure at first where the sound was coming
from.
The only person in sight was a technician, and as he watched the man
Racked his tools, stretched and strolled out.
There it was again... and it seemed to be coming from...
Goose broke into a trot. "Elma?" he called. "Is that you?"
He rounded a P-38 and skidded to a halt.
The interceptor's hatch was raised. And swarming all over the
cockpit, the ladder, the neck of the plane, was an entire horde of...
children?
"What the...?" Goose strode forward.
Their little heads turned, and he broke stride to gape in
shocked dismay. Over a dozen pairs of bright green eyes stared in silence for a
moment, and then-
"Goose!" one of the little girls squealed, and she scrambled
down the ladder, starting a mass exodus of elfin, auburn-haired children.
Goose suddenly found himself surrounded by 12 -- no, 14 --
He gulped.
"Niko?" *But she's on Granna on assignment.*
They all burst into giggles. And then the talking started.
"Goose, can I have a piggyback ride?"
"Goose, I wanna go for a ride with Elma!"
"Goose, can I wear your bandanna?"
One of them grabbed his belt and started climbing, and suddenly
he was wearing a diminutive Niko on one shoulder. She was remarkably
light.
*Of course she's light!* He howled at himself. *She's blinkin'
five years old!*
One of them tugged at his sleeve suddenly, and he looked down.
Her green eyes were filling with tears as he watched.
"What's wrong, Kid?" he asked kindly, unable to quite bring
himself call her "Niko."
"I gotta go to the bathroom."
Goose broke into a cold sweat.
Gooseman sprinted for his life down the corridor. Behind him, a
horde of Nikos followed.
"Still okay?" he asked the one he held.
"Ummmm... Yeah. But we gotta find a bathroom soon."
"I'm working on it, Kid."
Goose burst into the lounge, trailing Nikos. With a sigh of
relief
he set her down in front of the ladies' room.
"There ya go."
She looked up at him, pouting.
"What's the matter? It's a bathroom, like you asked for."
"You mean I gotta go by myself?"
Goose sat slumped at a table in the lounge. On benches and in
chairs, 14 miniature Nikos slept the sleep of the innocent. One of them
had her head on his lap, and his legs had long since gone to sleep.
*Did I run over the Almighty's dog?*
He glanced at his chrono again. *0630. I can get away with
calling Zach now.*
"Zach, this is Goose."
"What's up, Gooseman?"
"Uh... Captain, I really need to talk to you. In the lounge.
Right away. Please."
Some of his desperation must have come through, because Zach's
voice took on an edge of tension. "You all right?"
"It's easier if you just come to the lounge, sir. It'd take too
long to explain."
"On my way."
Goose sighed in relief. Zach could fix this. He'd raised two
kids already.
Zach halted several meters away from Goose's table and stared.
"I'd get up, Zach, but, uh-"
"No, that's okay, Gooseman." Zach couldn't seem to stop staring
around himself. "What the..."
"I think it's that thing Lazarus Slade built, Zach. That
machine that copied Buzzwang."
"Talk sense, Gooseman! He's a robot! How could that thing copy
a person?"
Zach's voice rose, and Goose made hushing motions. But the
damage had been done. The little Niko on his lap raised her head to rub sleep
out of her eyes.
From a chair across the table, a small auburn head popped up.
"Goose, I'm hungry."
A veritable chorus took up the cry. Goose turned in mute appeal
to Zachary, who sighed.
"You've sure landed in it this time, haven't you, Goose?"
Zach's comm buzzed, and he answered. "Foxx here."
"Dad?" Little Zach sounded worn. "She's being sick again.
Should
I take her to the Medlab?" Muffled squeaks emerged from the comm, and
then Little Zach spoke again. "She wants you to take her."
Zachary looked at Goose. "Can you handle this?" he asked
tiredly. "Jessie's got the bug that's going around. I need to go take care of
her."
Goose gulped. "Sure, Captain."
He watched in despair as Zachary strode out. The Niko in his
lap tugged at his sleeve.
"Goose, I'm really hungry!"
Doc strolled in, wearing a smile that instantly struck distrust
into Goose's heart.
"My Goose man! I see the rumors are true: you've opened a
day-care center!"
Half of the Nikos swarmed around him, squealing.
"Doc! Tell us a story!"
"Dance with me!"
"Can I play with Pathfinder?"
Doc lifted the Niko who'd demanded a dance -- Goose noticed
suddenly that her hair was a little more red than the others' -- and set
her feet lightly on his. As he led her carefully through a waltz, his
voice rose above the giggles and chatter of 14 little girls at play.
"Once upon a time..."
Goose heaved a sigh and relaxed a little... until he felt a
small hand on his sleeve and turned to regard a pouty, tearstained face,
lightly freckled where the rest were pale.
"Goose, Niko pulled my hair!"
"I did not, Niko did! And she stole my paper doll!"
Goose took a deep breath and groaned inwardly.
*Why me?*
Doc came into Goose's quarters with three Nikos in tow and a
frown on his face. Goose looked up from putting his twelfth Niko to bed and
wondered suddenly, *Why are there still four sitting over there? I must
have miscounted. I'm beat.*
"Goose, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we start out with 14
of these kids?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"Because I count 19 in this room right now, and I know I passed
some in the hallway. Two or three of them ran off towards Zach's."
Goose dropped his head into his hands.
*Not only I did run over the Almighty's dog, I obviously backed
up to see what the noise was.*
"Goose!"
Goose looked up from the report he was trying -- in vain, it was
beginning to look like -- to fill out to see one of the Nikos, draped in
what looked like a sheet, standing in front of him. He blinked.
"What's up, Kid?"
"You always call me Kid," she complained, pouting.
"Me too!"
"Me too too!"
He forced himself to ask,"What's up... Niko?"
She spun in front of him, raising her arms slightly. "I got
dressed up. Does it look pretty?"
He smiled softly. She did look kind of cute with the cloth
wound around her, her little face solemn. This Niko had the longest hair,
though it still wasn't quite the length of the real McCoy, and she had somehow
pinned up parts of it. Strands and locks escaped to dangle randomly
about her childish face.
'Yeah, Niko, it looks pretty," he said quietly.
She giggled and actually blushed a little.
There was a tug on his sleeve. He looked down at the only Niko
with wavy hair. She looked up at him with eyes guaranteed to melt the
hardest heart and said:
"Goose, will you marry me?"
He choked. A chorus of protests went up.
"No, he's gotta marry me!"
"No, me!"
Twenty-three high, piercing voices rose into a cacophony of
indignation. Goose clapped his hands over his ears, his heart racing in
horrified denial.
*This is not happening. This is not happening.*
The wavy-haired Niko at his elbow grabbed his arm and shook.
"Goose!" she said firmly. "Goose!"
Others took it up, until he was surrounded by diminutive auburn
heads and hands that grabbed and shook and demanded-
"Shane! Wake up! You're having a nightmare."
Goose struggled upwards out of sleep as if caught in layers of
cloth. He blinked blearily at Niko and only slowly realized he was
sitting up in bed. Her hand rested lightly on his shoulder. As he came awake
she withdrew it with a questioning look.
"Are you all right?"
He realized he was staring at her with something like
apprehension and looked around in confusion.
*Just a dream.*
"Goose?"
"Yeah," he forced out. "Just fine. Uh... a dream."
"May I ask... what it was about?"
Goose felt himself go red to the tips of his ears. Niko looked
a bit startled.
"That weird machine of Slade's," he muttered, dropping his eyes.
"Warped reality. It's nothing."
"All right. Well, I'll go wait for you in the lounge. We have
a briefing in 15 minutes, remember?"
He nodded and surreptitiously watched her go. The door slid shut
behind her, and he sagged in relief for a moment before throwing back
the covers.
As Goose walked slowly into the bathroom, he told himself quite
firmly: Next time, no anchovy paste.
--============_-1294328691==_ma============
Content-Type: text/enriched; charset="us-ascii"
Blame it on the late hour and possibly the goldfish crackers. Further
twistedness contributed by the Bear.