Aqua Teen Hunger Force - The Mooninites
Transcript by dark child

ignignokt: hello carl i'm ignignokt and this is err
err: i am err
ignignokt: we are mooninites from the innercore of the moon
err: you said it right
ignignokt: our race is hundreds of years ahead of yours
err: man you hear what he's saying
ignignokt: some would say the earth is our moon
err: we're the moon
ignignokt: that would belittle the name of our moon, which is the moon
err: point is that were at the center, not you
carl: no the real point is i don't give a damn
ignignokt: is your ego satisfied?
err: damn no
err: look room for rent
ignignokt: yes room for rent

(aqua teens house)
meatwad: room for rent?
shake: look meatwad sometimes you have to rent a room instead of work
meatwad: but who's room is gonna be rented is my question
shake: your room
meatwad: no kidding
shake: looks its just until this ear infection clears up then ill be able to go back to work again
meatwad: yea well i don't see no ears
shake: well your not about to have a mouth and i mean it ill rip it off
shake: hello
ignignokt: hello i'm ignignokt and this is err
err: give us the damn room
shake: what are your references?
(glow and spin)
shake: ohh that will do
shake: let me show you where you'll be staying then
shake: in here with the grill, and if you wanna turn it down you gotta fight with this little mutant here
meatwad: thats where i sleep
err: not anymore
shake: now ill need a deposit
(glows and spins)
shake: yeah i seen that before its great, but i'm thinking something more money wise
ignignokt: now how does this jam box suit you?
meatwad: wait a second, that's mine
shake: bass treble antenna, yes i think we can make a deal here
meatwad: that's my jambox
ignignokt: your jambox is now his by way of our actions
shake: yes meatwad with actions
meatwad: actions?
shake: now look you guys if you need anything just feel free to yell at him until he gets it for you
meatwad: hes always messing with me
err: shoot him the bird
ingnigokt: yes, give him the finger
meatwad: the finger like this?
(morphs)
inignokt: no not at all like that
meatwad: what about this?
(morphs)
ignignokt: here let me show you err hand out the free cigarettes
err: we smoke as we shoot the bird
frylock: shake have you seen my towel?
shake: just use a paper towel
frylock: im taking a bath
shake: they're right in the kitchen just go get them
err: man that pool is bitching
ignignokt: where shall i place this wet primitive earth towel?
shake: just drape it on frylocks computer that thing heats up pretty good
frylock: who is that with my towel?
shake: ohh that ignignokt yea him and err are renting that room down there
frylock: you mean meatwad's room? do not drape that on my computer
err: im gonna
shake: where do you expect them to put it they don't have anything they're from the moon
frylock: you rented that room to moon people?
ignignokt: we are the mooninites and our culture is advanced beyond all that you can possibly comprehend with 100% of your brain
frylock: oh is that so and what is so advanced about it
ignignokt: well for 1 thing the moon has 1/3 less gravity than your earth i don't know if you can understand that but our vertical leap is beyond all measurement
frylock: so what your saying is your culture is more advanced because you can jump higher?
ignignokt: yes observe
(jumps)
ignignokt: its not working here err come in here help me explain our advanced ways hurry
err: did you mention the spelling?
ignignokt: yes we're excellent spellers challenge me
err: yes challenge us both
shake: frylock don't try to understand them they're beyond everything isn't that right ignignokt?
ignignokt: all that we say and do is right
frylock: looks like you got a real couple of winners there shake
ignignokt: you and your 3rd dimension
frylock: what about it?
ignignokt: it's cute we have 5
err: th-thousand
ignignokt: yes five thousand
err: don't question it
frylock: well i only see 2
ignignokt: well that sounds like a personal problem
meatwad: someone hit me up with a flame i'm having a nick fit
ignignokt: err light him up
frylock: meatwad!
err: here
ignignokt: encourage him in his habit
err: that's a good smoker
frylock: when did you start smoking?
meatwad: this morning now where's my whisky? i'm gonna get tore up
ignignokt: we shall acquire some wine on the way to the mall
err: and then you can get tore up
ignignokt: and pass out in the hot sun
meatwad: that's my boys
frylock: i don't think meatwad should be hanging around with these moon people
shake: i don't think i need to be playing with these medium strings
shake: i need light strings if i'm gonna thrash
frylock: where'd you get that?
shake: from ignignokt and err they are the most generous people i've ever known

(at mall)
ignignokt: pick up that stereo and sink it deep within your body
meatwad: but then that would be stealing
err: not if you need it and you need it
ignignokt: on the moon meatwad
err: go get it
ignignokt: we have advanced beyond rules and manors
err: indeed
ignignokt: do you understand?
meatwad: uh ye-yea no
ignignokt: i will spit in your face now
err: prepare to spit
(spits)
err: now do you understand?
meatwad: yes
ignignokt: good now wrap yourself around that rack of dvds
err: smoke up
ignignokt: smoke while you are doing so
(alarm goes off)
meatwad: oh wait i'm stuck
err: we must spread our advanced ways
ignignokt: yes move out
err: yes move out
ignignokt: lets go
err: lets go

(aqua teens house)
shake: hes in jail?
frylock: jail?
shake: let him rot
frylock: who meatwad?
shake: oh wait he already has/oh you'll find that out soon enough
frylock: give me that
shake: what
frylock: don't throw him out he's a living thing i'll be right there
ignignokt: using a key to gouge expletives on another's vehicle is a sign of trust and friendship
carl: who did this to my frickin car?
ignignog: we are not here we shall be in the computer room
frylock: what happened to meatwad? you guys were with him last
err: he got busted man
ignignokt: for stealing and drinking and smoking in a non-smoking area
err: true
frylock: shake we need to go get him
shake: look i would love to help you but you go get him
frylock: i'll deal with you guys later
ignignokt: your roommate is a nerd
err: yes on the moon nerds get their pants pulled down and they are spanked with moon rocks
shake: man you guys sure talk a lot about the moon
ignignokt: yes
err: you got a problem with that?
shake: come on lets go swimming

(street)
meatwad: look err gave me a tattoo see the man put me on ice its tough isn't it?
frylock: yea that's really tough meatwad
meatwad: it's a clown and it symbolizes street warfare see i'm part of the clowns now you dig?
frylock: look meatwad you're a detective you're sworn to uphold the law
meatwad: whose law? your law or mine joker? hey where's my running crew? yoo-hoo running crew

(carl's pool)
shake: uhh 20 seconds it's a new world record
ignignokt:23 seconds
err: that is the new moon record
ignignokt: then it shall be so
err: now and forever
carl: new moon record that's funny so maybe your a good person to ask who wrote the moon rules #1 on my car with a key
shake: whoa whoa hey
ignignokt: if you have a problem with that maybe you should take that up with mr. laser
err: yea mr. laser
ignignokt: here it comes
err: here it comes
ignignokt: you will be destroyed
err: you're going down
ignignokt: the explosion shall be of extraordinary magnitude/just hang on
err: it takes a while
carl: nice shot there brick out now i want you jokers out of this oh god my back
shake: wow nice job that guy is so annoying you know he struts around like he owns the place
frylock: because he does own it
shake: frylock what are you doing here?
frylock: i have to speak to ignignokt and err here
ignignokt: then you shall talk to us as we watch television

(aqua teens house).
frylock: and you've been stealing, and corrupting meatwad, and he went to jail, and i cant get the smell of smoke out of my drapes and i just want you out of this house now
ignignokt: this is a good movie
shake: yea he's vegetable man
frylock: are you even listening to me?
ignignokt: we don't listen to people who don't like us
frylock: well maybe you'll listen to this
shake: what have you done
ignignokt: what was that?
err: whoa did those just come outta your eyes?
ignignokt: they are primitive
err: damn those are fast man
ignignokt: we're not impressed
err: it wasn't that cool
shake: err go get the other one
err: the plasma screen or high def?
shake: the plasma screen
frylock: no don't get the other one because its stolen just like the guitar and the jambox and everything in that big pile over there
err: then we shall take this outside
frylock: that's fine well take it outside lets go right now
shake: yea because i don't want anything in here broken because it's new and expensive
err: im going to ring your pants

(outside)
err: uhh let go of us
ignignokt: this is a hot road
meatwad: frylock wait why you beating up on my posse?
frylock: meatwad your posse went swimming while they left you in jail
meatwad: but they told me how to get rid of a hangover and how to make a shive out of a bed post and err made me wallow in a ant pile
frylock: what kind of a friend would do that to you
meatwad: those friends over there/ you guys wouldn't do anything to hurt me right? oww
ignignokt: we do what ever we want to whoever we want at all times/mooninites unite
err: lock in
ignignokt: no one can defeat the quad laser
err: it is over now
ignignokt: the bullet is enormous there is no escaping
err: jumping is useless
shake: hey you guys no how to work this tv? i tried the button but it doesn't go
err: go back inside
shake: oh you guys fighting
err: we're fighting
shake: right
frylock: okay mooninites looks like i got a little moonbeam of my own
ignignokt: show us the moonbeam i would love to ahhh
ignignokt: lets leave this primitive rock because there's nothing but cavemen here
err: say goodbye cavemen go beat rocks together
ignignokt: prepare to take off
err: frickin nerds
ignignokt: nerds! i hope he can see this because i'm doing it as hard as i can
shake: look frylock you know me had I known all this merchandise had been broken i would of laid the hammer down but it was stolen
frylock: so you returned it right?
shake: no i've decided to keep it all as a reminder of how lucky i am to live on a planet with people like you
meatwad: hey what happened to carl?

(moon)
carl: ohh boy this is what i always wanted
err: silence nerd
ignignokt: prepare for a moon spanking
err: now you drop those sweat pants right now

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