CHAPTER 5

	As we watched, a small, gray-colored thing began to slip from her ear.  It
began as nothing more than a thin tendril, but then it felt her palm, and all
at once the Yeerk slipped out of her ear.
	The Yeerk.
	All Yeerks look alike.  They are small, gray slugs.  This one was no
different - it just lay in her cupped palm, an unmoving, four-inch-long worm.
	Suddenly the girl blinked twice, then jerked her head to the side to look at
the little slug. “You little idiot!” she hissed.  She fell backwards, sitting
once more, and moved her hand to her lap as if she were afraid that she was
going to drop the Yeerk and he would disappear.  She nudged the thing with a
finger on her other hand.  “After all we’ve been through, you abandon me now?”
She looked up, her eyes telling of her fear and unease.  It was the look of a
real child.  It was as obvious as the slug laying on her palm.  Then her jaw
tightened closed, and her frightened eyes narrowed; she was  frightened, yes.
But not paralyzed by it, not rendered harmless.  That much was obvious.  It
was the look of a born warrior, or at least someone familiar with the role.
It was a look I recognized as being one Rachel often wore.
	Marco took three steps closer, using his large fists to balance himself.   A
look of anger crossed her already cold face, and she tore the Dracon beam from
her pocket with her empty hand and raised the hand with the Yeerk to her
chest, shielding it with her hand.  “Leave him alone!” she shouted.  “He’s
kept me safe all these years, so don’t you jerks think for one minute that I
won’t do the same for him!”  (She didn’t use the word “jerks”; the word she
actually used, I’m told, is very inappropriate, and that “jerks” is a
functional and polite substitution.)  Her hand shook; she knew as well as I
did that she was bluffing.  However, I think the shaking was due more to the
fact that, holding the Dracon beam as she was, she was wrinkling her shoulder
wound, which had to hurt her terribly.  Admirably, however, the minor
vibration of her arm was all that told of it; her eyes did not even tear, as
humans’ eyes will do when faced with great pain.
	 Marco said, but I knew he was lying - he was probably going to take the
Yeerk and squash it.  I wouldn’t have blamed him.
	<There is no charge in that Dracon beam,> I told him privately.  <At least, I
do not believe so.>
	<Just hand over the Dracon beam,> he said.  He held out his hand.
	Her eyes narrowed even farther.  “I have a better idea.  It’s useless, anyway
- dead.”  With that, she threw it backwards over her head and mine, into the
woods.  “There.  Now I doubt any of us have weapons except that I am very,
very desperate and you’re not.  So just stay away from me.”  I saw Tobias flap
away, either to scout the area or find the Dracon beam.  I felt the first one
to be more likely.  “Just stay away from me - and if you say one thing - one
thing - against Udrak, you can forget any help from me.  No timetables, no
names of local Controllers, nada.”  I refrained from asking anyone what “nada”
meant.  I felt that it couldn’t be any better than losing the possibility of
receiving the other two pieces of information.  “He’s all I had
for seven years.  The only one I could trust.  He still is.  He did this so
you wouldn’t hurt me.  Don’t make him look like a fool.”
	<Seven years?> Cassie echoed.  <You’ve been a Controller for seven years?>
	“I was one of the first - at least, of the first scouts.  No, not me.”  She
shook her head.  “I’m sorry.  Udrak’s been so... so open, so... so candid with
me.  It’s hard to tell us apart, sometimes.  He was a minor, rankless slug
under the first scouts.  He had a Gedd body, and was in charge of two Hork-
Bajir-Controllers.  At the time, I- I-”  She laughed.  “Actually, I was a
little kid who was scared stiff of monsters in my closet, very glad to have
left them behind when I went to camp.  I was at Girl Scout camp at the time.
It was, like, one o’clock in the morning or something, and I woke up and had
to go.  You know?  Maybe you don’t, but that doesn’t matter.  What matters is
that I left without my flashlight like the idiot kid I was and got hopelessly
lost.  And, being hopelessly lost, I happened to stumble on a Gedd and a pair
of
Hork-Bajir at the lake for some reason.  Udrak told me later that they’d been
sent to retrieve some debris or something - some evidence of some sort - from
the bottom of the lake.  Something that’d been left behind.  The Hork-Bajir-
Controllers wanted to kill me - I was a security risk.  But Udrak wouldn’t let
them.  He pointed out that I might be of some use.  I didn’t know this at the
time - I was scared out of my mind, captured by some giant, ugly dinosaurs who
spoke partial english and a semi-monkiesh monster who patted me on the head,
held my hand, and seemed to be doing everything in its power to make sure I
wasn’t scared.  The Under-Visser over Udrak thought it would be a great
punishment for him to be put into me because
he’d been soft, but he was very kind.  The first thing he did was look into my
memory.  That’s instinctive for Yeerks, you see.  They do that as much as you
or I breathe.  But- it wasn’t just that.  I don’t know if any of you have ever
had a Yeerk in your head - I serious doubt it - but most Controllers, all they
get is crushed into a dark corner of their mind with nothing but Yeerk
tauntings and emotions for company.  Me, I got the emotions, yeah - but I also
got this gentle voice, saying, ‘It’ll be all right.  I’m not going to hurt
you.  You remember that monkey, Sarah?  That was me.  I want to help you.  You
must trust me.’  I didn’t really have a choice - Udrak had me as a Controller
at the time.  But when I was sent back to the camp - just the next morning,
about a mile away, so that I would just say I had gotten lost - he... he let
go.  He sat me down in an out-of-the-way place and said, ‘I know you, but you
don’t know me.  That isn’t fair.’  You got to understand, I was pretty little
then, very immature by human standards, and scared witless.  In my mind, I was
sobbing, I was hopeless.  Then... then he opened up to me.  He had opened my
memory - and then, right then, he showed me his.  He showed me his friends
being executed.  He showed me what it was to be in a Yeerk pool, blind and
barely aware.  Yeerks aren’t sociable creatures like humans and Andalites -
they don’t talk much to each other, because there isn’t much to say, you know?
‘Hi, how are you, how long you been, found anything to control lately?  No?
Me, I’ve never inhabited anything.  Bye.’  That’s the extent of their lives.
It’s so lonely.  Yeerks are almost quaintly primitive in
their natural forms, except for their inner thoughts, their language.  There,
they are... unimaginable.  They are so complicated, so wonderful....”  She
sighed, then chuckled.  “At least, Udrak seemed that way to me at the time.
By now I’ve come to realize that he’s less than wonderful sometimes.  But we
have an arrangement - I keep him in me, he keeps me safe.”
	<That’s ridiculous,> Rachel snapped.
	“I beg your pardon?”  The girl’s eyes narrowed into slits, and she stared
around at the others; it is impossible to tell where thought-speak comes from
unless you already know who is talking.  The blankness in her expression, the
distraction, was gone; now they had a focus that rivaled that of Tobias.  “I’m
sorry, but I think I just heard one of you call me a liar.”  Her glare turned
on Rachel, who returned it easily.  I suppose some things can be told without
prior knowledge; that glare gave away who had spoken.  “I am not a liar.”
	<You could be lying about that,> Marco said.
	She glared at him for a moment, then laughed.  “You’re right about that,” she
said at last.  “I sure could.  But what fun would that be?”  No one answered
her.  “Now listen.  I only have one thing to ask you.  Udrak has made it clear
that he wants me safe.  He wants me to stay with you.  I told him that’s
insane - what would you want with some idiot human girl immediately
recognizable by human-Controllers for miles around? - but he isn’t backing
down in this, not this time.  He’s... he’s letting me go.”  She sounded hurt.
Could it be she actually liked being a Controller?  “Our problem is that we
made a mistake.  It’s been hard, hiding that he doesn’t
fully control me.  Then, while we were at the pool this morning, one of the
Hork-Bajir attendants scratched me.  I snapped at him.  That wouldn’t have
been so bad, but that Udrak was in my head and I said,.... well, let’s just
say it was very much human.  It was very obvious that Urdrak was not doing his
job properly.  I couldn’t let them hurt him because I was stupid, so... well,
I ran.”
	<What did you mean before, when you said you were ‘one’?> I asked her.  <Does
it have to do with the way the Yeerk does not fully control you?>
	<You’re one?>  Cassie echoed.
	<One what?> Rachel demanded.
	The girl shook her head.  “Udrak is a traitor to parasites everywhere.  He
doesn’t live as a parasite.  He’s not a predator, either - not like humans
are, that eat other animals to live.  He’s... he and me... we’re different,
now, different from other Controllers.  He and I - we’re one in the same now.
We have been for many years.”  She smiled vaguely, as if thinking of something
only she understood.  “I let him see.  All he wants is to be able to see
colors, to know what each sound he hears and thing he feels and smells looks
like.  He wants to see the world from above the mud.  All he wants is a way to
live.  Me, I’m afraid.  All the time.  But Udrak - he keeps me safe.  When
it’s me and Controllers, when I don’t know what to do, Udrak takes control.
He keeps us out of trouble.  I give him a chance to live; he gives me a chance
to live.  Two different meanings to ‘live’, but that’s pretty much how it
works.  I decide what to look at; he doesn’t care, so long as he can look,
too, and tell me something of the wonder and beauty of a normal, everyday
sight that I would never have known if it weren’t for him.  I move us wherever
we go, because all he wants is to see it all, to witness everything, and to...
to have someone to share it with.  Udrak has lost everything.”  She shifted
uncomfortably, but her smile did not die.  “He just wanted someone to share
with.  All he wants is someone to understand.  That’s all I wanted, too.  I...
well, I was spacy when I was little.  One of those kids who sit in a corner,
too scared to talk to anyone.  I was lonely to the point where I didn’t want
to
make friends.”  I did not understand what she meant by that, but no one else
spoke, so I did not either.  “I was a Girl Scout because my mom wanted me to
be out with other girls my age, not because I wanted to be.  All I wanted was
a corner where everyone would ignore me.  Then - then there was Udrak.  He was
lonely too, and scared.  He was just like me, but that his penalty was death.
Mine was just... well, being a lonely little kid who wouldn’t talk.”
	<Is there a point to this?> Rachel demanded.  Marco looked just as annoyed.
Prince Jake’s tiger face looked thoughtful, and Cassie seemed... well, it is
hard to tell expression on a wolf’s face, but from my experience with her I
guessed that she might be sympathetic.
	“Yes, there is, which you would notice if you didn’t keep interrupting,” the
girl snapped.  (I am sorry if I must call her that, but her concept of her
names confused me, so I did not have anything better to use at the time.)  “My
point is, that Udrak isn’t a parasite.  I’m not a Controller.  I can’t think
of the word for it, but... he doesn’t hurt me.  We help each other.  We’re all
the other can trust.”
	<Symbiosis?> Was that what she meant?  That neither harmed the other?  It
was, as Rachel had said, ridiculous.  To some degree, Gedds and Yeerks had
once had a symbiotic realitionship - Yeerks provided intelligence against
predators while Gedds provided transport from one pool to another, or
something of that nature.
	“Yes!”  I almost cringed; I hadn’t realized I had said it aloud.  “Yes, that
is it.  He’s not a parasite.  At least, he doesn’t act like one.  Udrak is
more of a symbiote.  Kind of like an imaginary friend.  A voice in my head.
Sometimes, a guardian angel.  But never - never once - has he hurt me.  I
can’t say the same, I know.  I know that you know not all Yeerks are evil.”
The others were silent, so I was as well.  “You remember Aftran, no doubt.”  I
saw Cassie stiffen at that; the girl did, too.  “Were you the one who made the
deal with her?” she asked Cassie, her eyes narrowing.  Then she chuckled.
“Trust you Andalites to get out of stuff like that.  No wonder
Udrak wants you to baby-sit me for the rest of my life.”
	<What about Aftran?> Cassie asked, her voice toneless, giving away nothing.
	“She was a friend of ours,” the girl replied.  “She was too frightened of the
Council to even attempt symbiotic relations with her hosts.  Not even with
that little girl.”  She shook her head.  “That poor girl.  I wonder if she
understands anything that’s happened to her.  If she’s lucky, she doesn’t, and
will eventually forget.  May whatever god - or gods - she prays to at night
give her the blessing to forget.  Of all Controllers, there are none luckier
than I.”
	 Prince Jake pointed out.
	“What else could I be?” she asked him.  “Anybody with a  Yeerk in their head
is a Controller, right?  But I’m not a full Controller.  Only partial.”
	<And voluntary,> Marco said.
	“Not originally,” she admitted.  “But now, yeah.  You would be, too, if you
could find a Yeerk not brainwashed by the propaganda of the Council of
Thirteen and dead scared of going against them.  Sure, there’s plenty of those
that get a kick out of this whole power business.  It’s the insane power-
mongers that become officers.  It’s us who are more scared of the Council than
you that end up dead.  You’ve all been brainwashed by your stupid government
into this, same as most Yeerks were by my even worse one.  True, it isn’t all
about propaganda - it’s all about Power, Politics, and then Propaganda.  The
Three P’s of War.  Killing off the extra populations.  Letting the fat old
beaurocrats breed their in-bred offspring in the safety of the homeworld while
everybody else goes and gets themselves killed at their whim.  The universe is
a wonderful place, isn’t it?  Wouldn’t want to live there, but I hear it’s
hell to visit.  We- I hate beauracracy.”
	<What do we do, Jake?> Cassie asked.  <We can’t just leave her there.  Those
wounds need looking at.>
	<We can’t let her know who we are,> Marco said.  <We can’t demorph.  She’s a
voluntary traitor.  I mean, a symbiotic Yeerk?  Yeah.  Uh-huh.  Surrrre.>
	<Don’t say it, Cassie,> Rachel said quickly.  <How do we know she’s telling
the truth about Aftran?  For all we know, that Yeerk is dead for letting her
host get away and Karen Whats-her-name is a Controller again.  The Yeerk she’s
hugging could have taken that fancy human-design Dracon beam and fried her
personally.>
	<Ax,> Prince Jake said, <morph to human.  You may look partially like all of
us, but not like any in particular in your normal human morph.  Help clean out
her wounds.  We can bring bandages later.>  He sort of sighed then, in
thought-speak; it isn’t the same as an actual, physical sigh, more of a
feeling in your mind than an actual sound or movement.  I began to do as he
told me to.  <We can deal with the human once the Yeerk is dead.  Without the
Yeerk, it’ll be more clear what to do with her.  At least, I hope so.>  Then,
to the girl, he said, <Aximili will be morphing to human, to help you with
your injuries as best he can until we can provide other things for you.  You
are to stay with him until some return.>
	“Don’t play with me like I’m one of the dumber Hork-Bajir,” the girl
interrupted him.  “No way you’d send four warriors to check out a stupid
human-Controller.  Not even a warrior and a bunch of arisths.  There’s way too
many of you for something as little as us.  That’s all you are, aren’t you?
Your plans always seemed kind of... improvised.  I’m willing to bet you’re all
there is.  I’m also willing to bet there isn’t one prince among you.  Not like
you’d tell me.  But I’m wagering you’re lucky if half of you are warriors.  So
don’t give me crap about ‘some’.  And thank you for letting him help me, but
get one thing clear.”  Her eyes narrowed.  “Udrak isn’t dying, got that?  I
won’t allow it.  I’d die first before letting that happen.”  She turned her
glare on Marco.  “You made a snide remark about Udrak putting his host before
him.  That just goes to show how little you know, Andalite.  It’s narrow-
minded jerks like you that have given you the nickname ‘filth’.  Only the
othyb have a worse name than you in the Yeerk language.  And I don’t need
proof that you deserve it.  I agree to cooperate for tonight.  Tonight, got
that?  Morning, I’m out of here.  You’ll have to kill me before I let anything
stop me.  Udrak’s saved me too many times for me to just let him die now.
Especially from lack of Kadrona rays.  Would you let your families starve to
death?  Well, I’m not letting that happen to me.  Or Udrak.”
	“We will have to see, won’t we?” I asked, fully human.  She twisted her head
around at an uncomfortable-looking angle at the sound of my voice.  “Please
stay still.”  She turned her eyes back to the others.   I began peeling what
debris was left in her head wound out of it.  It didn’t appear to be too
serious of a wound; it was only bleeding from a small spot near the center of
her head.  It was just that the heat of the Dracon beam had burned a section
of the skin off, as well as a good deal of her hair.  She hissed a little when
I came too close to where it was bleeding.
	“You want my cooperation, Andalites?” she said, sounding braver than she
probably was.  “Fine.  But if Udrak is harmed in any way, deal’s off.  If you
won’t kill me, then-”  She sort of choked then.  She looked down at the vile
slug that rested in her palm, so that I couldn’t clean her wound.   “Then I
guess I’ll just have to do it myself.”


CHAPTER 6

Tobias

	Ax wasn’t there when the rest of us headed back.  The others morphed back to
bird morphs once we were far away from Udrak, Sarah, and Ax; I kept a look-
out.  That is, after I gave the Dracon beam to Rachel.  It was a lot lighter
than the Dracon beam I’d taken out the Truck ship with (it’s a long story I
can tell some other time), but bulky; flying with it was awkward.  Once the
two hours were up, we were only a couple miles from Cassie’s farm, and there
was a lot to discuss, so the others chose to walk.
	I started the conversation.  <This is just too weird.>  It seemed as good a
start as any.  <A Yeerk who shares fifty-fifty with its Controller?  Does that
sit any better with any of you?>
	“It’s a trick,” Rachel said.  “I mean, come on!  It’s ridiculous.  A Yeerk
does not share.  Yeerks take.  They take and gloat about it.  They do not
give.”
	“Aftran gave,” Cassie interrupted her.  “Aftran gave her life so Karen could
go free.  I think Jake is right.”  She shuddered at what she said.  I
understood why.  “There’s no way we can keep the Yeerk alive.  She’s not like
the Chee - she’s human.  She can’t keep him alive by making Kadrona rays or
save herself by changing a hologram around her.”
	“Not that the Chee are perfect or anything,” Marco said.  “I’m sticking with
Rachel.  This is just too bogus.  The only way-”
	“Only way what?” Cassie asked, turning on him and grabbing his arms.  She
gave him a little shake.  “What’s the only way?”
	He shook his head.  “It’s insane.  But... the only way to know is make one of
us a Controller.  Put Udrak into one of our heads.  And keep Sarah far away,
in case Udrak tries to squeal.  But - no way.  It’s out of the question.”
	“But it would work!” Cassie cried.  “I volunteer.  Generally, I have the
weakest morphs.  I knew Aftran.  I know what to look for.”
	“But how would we know it’s you?” Rachel pointed out.  “We wouldn’t.  It’s a
trap, it has to be.  Sarah’s just a human Controller.  She talked about power-
maniacs?  Put her on the top of the list.  If she pulls this off, she’ll
probably be under-Visser in a day.  Visser Three’d have us on a silver
platter.”
	“We got lucky with Aftran, Cassie,” Jake said.  He sounded exhausted.  “It’s
a little early to start celebrating another lucky brake.  This whole thing
with Sarah and Udrak... it’s not only too good to be true, it’s too confusing.
It smells of a trap.  A very good one, but a trap is a trap.”
	“We can’t jump to conclusions!” Cassie cried.  “What if Udrak dies, and we’re
left with Sarah?  What then?  What do we do with her?  How would we know if
she’d betray us, or if she’d make a good ally?  The only way... the only way
is for one of us to have Udrak.  And....”  She shuddered again, clenching her
eyes shut.  “One of us becomes Udrak’s host, and he dies inside.  And that’s
the end.  No Udrak, and we know what to do with Sarah.  The human Sarah.”
	<Meanwhile, what do we do with ‘the human Sarah’?> I asked them.  <We can’t
just leave her out in the open.  She’s wounded.  If the scavengers don’t start
flocking to her - not to mention hungry wolves - there’s infection to worry
about.  They’re not life-threatening wounds by themselves, but if they get
infected there’s a good chance she won’t live too long.>
	“What about the place you guys kept me when I was a Controller?” Jake
suggested.  “That old shack?”
	<It’s gone,> I said.  <Burned to the ground back when we had to deal with the
Verdeek.  There’s still the root cellar of it, but that’s kind of buried under
a few hundred pounds of scrap wood.>
	“We have elephant morphs, don’t we?” Cassie pointed out.  “At least, four of
us do.  That should clean it up pretty well, in no time.”
	“Problem.”  Marco held up his finger to silence the others.  “Hooves were not
meant to jump into a root cellar.”
	“Ax has his human morph,” Rachel said.  Everyone looked at her.   “Hey, I’m
not a murderer.  I’m positive she’s a voluntary traitor.  But I’m open-minded.
Maybe she isn’t.  Either way, I’m not going to kill her.  At  least, not
unless she proves herself one way or the other.”
	“So we just shove this all on Ax?”  Jake didn’t like that idea; it was
obvious from his voice.  “We can’t just have him baby-sit Sarah for two days,
or whatever it ends up being.  That’s not fair to him.  He has to eat, and
sleep, and stuff.  I won’t do that to him.”
	<Tree to Jake,> I called down from the tree where I perched.  I was jumping
from tree to tree, getting ahead of the others whenever they got too far
ahead.    I was sort of hoping he’d nix that, too.  Still, if Ax had to baby-
sit our Controller, I didn’t think it was any more fair than Jake did.
	“That’ll work,” he agreed.  “But Cassie’s right.  What then?  We have to know
what to do with her.  She can’t go back.  She can’t leave.  She can’t stay.”
He shook his head.  “It’s just so messed up.  She’s willing to help, she says,
but not if the Yeerk dies.  The Yeerk will help, supposedly, but only if the
human gets away.  Without the Yeerk we won’t know what to do about Sarah, and
with it we can’t trust either of them.  It’s a catch twenty-two.  What’re we
supposed to do?”
	“It’s totally insane,” Marco said.  “I mean, remember when we went to save
that Controller that messed up?  And kicked butt, but got nothing out of it?
Now we do.  It’s just like it would have been if we suceeded then.  What were
we going to do then?”
	Jake grinned sheepishly.  “I don’t think we planned it out that far.”
	Marco grinned, too.  “My point exactly.  Now, I suggest Tobias and Ax try to
get something out of our Controller while the rest of us get lunch.  I’m
starving. I didn’t even have breakfast.  Man, we’re lucky it’s Sunday, or we’d
really be in trouble.”
	“Speak for yourself,” Jake said.  “I wrote a note saying I’d be right back -
I’ve missed church.  I’ll be grounded for a week, at least.”
	“No problem, man,” Marco said.  “Dad and I are going to noon.  Just come with
us - I’m sure they’ll go easy on you.”
	“Especially if I keep you from snoring, right?”
	“I gotta go, too,” Rachel said.  “My mom is taking the afternoon off from
life.  You know - kicking back to do whatever she wants.  I've got to watch
Sara and Jordan - or come up with a good way of getting out of it.”
	“Dad’s going to kill me!” Cassie cried, slapping her forehead.  “I never
changed that kestrel’s bandage this morning.  Geez, I’m dead if he’s got an
infection.  I got the meds done by the time Tobias came, but I totally forgot
about the kestrel.  We got him yesterday.”  Cassie had been the only one awake
when I went to get them.
	It was obvious that everyone was going their own seperate ways.  Time for me
to pull guard duty.  <Okay, guys.  I got to go help Ax interrogate our
Controller.>
	“Our Controller?”  Rachel snorted.  “Since when was she our Controller?”
	“Since Marco called her that instead of ‘Sarah’,” Cassie said.
	“So sue me,” Marco retorted.  “I forgot her name.  Sarah.  Right.  Udrak.
Yeah.”  He pressed his fingers to his temples.  “Ummm.... Sarah... ummm...
Udrak.... ummm...”  Jake punched his shoulder, and Marco punched him back.
“Hey, you made me lose my concentration!  What were they again?  Sardrak?
Udrah?  Huh?”
	Rachel rolled her eyes.  “Save some for me, okay, Tobias?  Don’t take all the
fun for yourself.”
	 I told her privately.  To everyone I added, <Bye, all.>  I spread my wings,
got a good updraft, and used it to propel me upward.  I twisted in midair to
face the right direction.  Over all these woods, it meant a lot of flapping
that I wasn’t looking forward to.
	The last thing I heard was Marco.  That was not unusual.  “Show-off.”  Then
he sort-of gasped, sort-of... well, it kind of sounded like a squeal.  “There
is another way!” he cried.  “Cassie, you’re a genius!”  Anything else he said
was lost to the wind.