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Let Go.
by Nic (stardestiny@bigfoot.com)
25 March 2000

Disclaimer:    Star Wars is the property of George Lucas.  No
               copyright infringement is intended.

Summary:       What does it mean to truly pass into the Force?  

Notes:         My first SW fic for 2000!  (The muse is back....) 
               This arose from discussions on a SW list about the
               eventual fate of a Jedi Force Ghost, based upon GL's
               script notes and "Heir to the Empire."  


---
                             Let Go
                             ------


~Let go~

The whisper wandered through the mists, the trees, barely there,
barely a presence; it was only the faintest of traces but Obi-Wan
heard it and he heard it again.  ~Let go....~

He perched on a rock and sighed wearily, feeling the ache of the
passing years within every bone of his body.  Rationally, Obi-Wan
knew he shouldn't be feeling this way.  He'd been dead for a good
few years now and death was supposed to be release, relief, from
the physical suffering.

Yet the suffering hadn't ended, no, he had struggled with his
student, his near-protege, his redemption, for years.  Yoda could
not have tamed Luke alone.  Obi-Wan's presence was ultimately
necessary.  The Force demanded it.

The Force.

"What is it you hear, Obi-Wan?"  Yoda's sage voice sounded in his
ear, and he turned, and where before there had been emptiness,
Yoda's corporeal form appeared.  

Obi-Wan shook his head.  "Nothing.  A whisper, perhaps.  No more
than that."  He paused, sighing again.  "I am an old man, Master
Yoda, and wont to hear things."

"Perhaps," Yoda agreed.  His ears crinkled inwards.  "Perhaps it is
the calling you hear."

Obi-Wan stood up in denial, longing for the days when such a
gesture would have been made with youthful vigour.  "No!" he
objected.  "I cannot give in to the Force."  He rejected the
possibility with every fibre of his soul - after all this time, how
could he simply cease to exist?  The years, the agonising *years*
on Tattooine had all been in preparation for his death as he
watched over Luke.  

"Hold too tight to your identity, do you," Yoda said softly, not
pressuring his old friend but offering advice, insight.

"My identity is all I have left," Obi-Wan returned.  He spun,
trying to maintain a glare.  "Where is Anakin?  I am sure he would
provide a more friendly ear than you."

Yoda imitated a shrug.  "He sought out Amidala.  Found her, I
suspect."  

A dark shadow crossed Obi-Wan's face.  And again, ~Let go....~

"I cannot let go!" he protested.  "Luke is still so young.  And
where would I go, how can I...."

"Your master embraced the Force."

"My master is dead," Obi-Wan said with more than a trace of
bitterness.  "He didn't even try to hold on to himself, no, one
visit was *all* I was granted by the great Qui-Gon Jinn before he
gave himself up to the energies.  And do you know what he said to
me?"

But Yoda had disappeared.

Obi-Wan shook his head, feeling the anger quickly dissipate away. 
He was one with the Light and Dark thoughts had no place here, they
were impossible to maintain, even if the hurt was as fresh as the
day it had taken place.

One visit from Qui-Gon after his death.  And then nothing.  Nothing
but the raging pain of loneliness, and yes, the anger at Qui-Gon
for letting go so easily.  His soul ached.  

Reality *shifted* around Obi-Wan and he found himself on a blue-
green planet whose name he never knew.  It was a peaceful world, a
place Obi-Wan had never visited when he lived, but since his death,
he'd been drawn to it, or more specifically, drawn to a place.  A
grove of trees, each one strong and tall, each one echoing with
Light tremors of the Force.

He felt at home here.  And remembering the whispered warnings, he
wondered if *this* was the place where he was supposed to let go. 
Obi-Wan had spent many months here in quiet meditation whilst Yoda
trained Luke.  The feeling of helplessness as the galactic events
spiralled well beyond his control was somewhat diminished by the
peace of the trees.

~Let go....~

"I'm not ready," he challenged, somewhat defiantly.  "If I go then
who will remember the Jedi as they were?  I am the last who knows
of what we went through - I am the last who believes in
midichlorians!"  Without him, all the knowledge would be lost.  "I
cannot go," Obi-Wan said again.

~Does it matter?~ and Obi-Wan looked up, for the almost voice was
hauntingly familiar, and it made him pause.  Did it matter?  If he
released to the Force, if his knowledge was lost, what would
happen?  Anakin was most likely already gone, for he hadn't
trained, and Yoda would not stay to mother Luke into true
Knighthood.

And if he, Obi-Wan stayed with Luke, the boy would never learn to
stand alone.  Cycles, endless cycles of arguments, and who was to
say which was right and which was wrong?  The voice of counsel had
long left Obi-Wan alone.  

Obi-Wan sighed, this time in resignation, and noticed that the
trees were rippling fervently with blue energies.  The Force had
never been so apparent to him before, so tangible, and as he
reached out, he saw the pale blue of his own fingers mesh with it. 
The pull was undeniable, so strong, so frightening; Obi-Wan could
feel himself almost dissolving so he snatched his hand away in
denial.

~Obi-Wan...~ and this time, the whisper was no longer that of the
Force, but almost of a dearly departed one, someone who knew his
name.  Obi-Wan stared at the glowing tree and as he did, he could
almost see a shape in it, a face, an arm extending synchronously
with the warm wisp of a smile.  

~Let go.~

And Obi-Wan reached out and took that hand, its blue fusing with
his own blue, until the strands of energy that were the Force
became mixed together, every non-corporeal atom becoming mingled 
with that of the tree.  The Force entangled him, merged him with
what was already there, and in his last seconds of individual
consciousness, Obi-Wan recognised it.

"Master," he thought, the word coloured with love and in his mind
he heard a gentle chuckle, "My Obi-Wan..." and their reunion lasted
only moments, but an eternity in the Force, before consciousness
was lost and became nothing more than the molecules of two beings
forever intertwined in the great ribbons that bound the galaxy in
love and light.

---
End.