Below is a list of things never to do during a horror movie sequel. You read carefully
and you might just have a chance of survival, but with psycho killers...you just never
know! Even the second time around!

"There are certain rules that one must
obide by to make a successful sequel.
1.) The body count is always bigger.
2.) The death scenes are always
much more elaborate, more blood,
more gore...carnage candy.
And 3.) never ever under any
circumstances assume the
killer is dead."

19.) If you survived the first and have come back for
the second. Dont make it known to people where you
are now living. The killer is sure to find out and he will
come and kill you.

21.) If in your first movie-you were up against Vampires--
you are pretty lucky cause theres really not a big chance
of them coming back after you. But surprise! You'll get
something else to go up against.

42.) Always anticipate the worst of things to happen.

60.) Your family members are dead!
Dont go back anywhere to retrieve
them! Yes-this means hell too.

20.) If you move into a town and start hearing rumors about
some strange shit that went on there a couple of years ago.
Move out. It'll be a lot easier than seeing everyone near and
dear to you get killed.

1.) Its really, really, really not a good idea to go back to
see who the masked killer is.

2.) If you hear the scary music start up, DON'T RUN! The
first move you make, the killer will undoubtedly jump at you.
Instead, listen very closely to the music as it builds up and
reaches its scary crescendo. When the music suddenly
STOPS---HIT THE DECK!! In horror movies, the instant
after the music stops is the moment the killer swings his ax,
machete, knife, etc. at his next victim!

23.) On Halloween night dont wear
a costume that looks like a killers
and then run from the cops when
they confront you.

3.) If there was a defective toy out a year or so ago-perhaps
named Chucky-I wouldn't buy it anyways if even if its on
sale or something!

5.) Never try to run down the killer in a car. The killer will
inevitably jump on the hood of the car and smash the
windshield to get at you, or go under the car and hang
onto the bottom, then grab you by the ankles and drag
you under the car when you stop and get out.

15.) Burning a chick on her Prom Night just cause she
dumped your ass isn't a very nice thing to do-she'll come
back and kill everyone in her revenge!=)

13.) If you put the moves on a guy you like, go out
to get all sexy and come back not finding anyone...
your stupid ass needs to start running!

6.) If you have to enter a room with a demon-possessed
child in it, wear old clothes and a raincoat. It will make it
easier for you to clean yourself up afterward. Even the
second time around!

7.) If you are walking through the woods with your friend
Frank on a dark evening, and you encounter a man in a
hockey mask with a machete, do the following:
1. Don't panic. This maniac does not necessarily want to
kill you. Oh sure, he wants to kill SOMEONE but that
someone does not necessarily have to be YOU.
2. Shout, "Here! Kill Frank!"

8.) If you are in a vampire movie, always carry a cross with
you (unless you're in an Anne Rice vampire movie, where
crosses don't work).

44.) If the killer has been burned before-doing it again
can't hurt him all that bad. But it seems that if you tell them
you love them it just might kill them...for a while at least!

48.) If you go down to your basement one night and
theres some freaky as hell guy down there trying to get
you to 'join the dark side'. I think it would be a good idea
to try your best to get your parents to move.

11.) Never volunteer to be a summer camp counselor,
especially if, at the initial job interview, the supervisor says
something like, "Sure hope this summer is better than the
last thirteen summers we've had here. All those poor dead
teenagers. I wish that guy in the hockey mask would just
leave us alone."

16.) You car still wont start till you rev the engine a couple times.

22.) If a long time ago the high school's prom queen was
murdered and you and your friends come across her crown
and cape-don't fuck with. She'll get pissed and murder you.
Never mess with a woman and her jewelry

28.) You aren't safe ANYWHERE! Trust me hun.
They will find your ass! Be it in a hospital, another
town, or at your university. If the killer wants to get
your ass--he'll eventually find out where you are
and come and get you!

26.) Ummm...three words to implant in your brain no matter
what kinda horror movie you are in: RUN LIKE HELL!

27.) Its no use telling the killer to stop and "Please
don't kill me!" Its a waste of your precious few last
breaths-cause no matter how much you beg and plead.
He will still kill you.

29.) If you run into a dead body-don't scream! You'll just
inform the killer to where you are at!

17.) Dont believe anything the burned up
monsterish person in front of you is telling you!
Ummm...hello?? Are you stupid are something?

49.) If something bad start happening to your friend...
oh say his skin starts coming off and revealing
something not too pretty...you should do anything
you can to get out of there. If the door doesn't work...
jump out the damn window! Once your friend is
gone-the bad guy will kill you!

30.) If your boyfriend is getting beat up by some homicidal
maniac-dont stand there and watch! When he's done
with him-he's coming for you next!

32.) If you are a character thats not the lead--you most likely
wont make it very long into the movie.

31.) All the rules from the previous movie you
were in still apply! Times two!

34.) Did I mention not to have sex?

25.) Dont try to reason with the killer who has just crashed
the pool party you're at-he doesn't want some snot nosed
teenager trying to get in his way-he has better things to do!

18.) If you go into a cabin and in one room
theres a chopped off head and dead bodies
all around--I think it would be safe to assume
that isn't a real good place to hide.

35.) The killer always seems to know where you'll be
looking for your friends at-and is there waiting to kill
you. All your friends are dead anyways-so don't even
bother to look for them!

36.) Don't just leave knives, guns or any other weapons
laying around! The killer will find them and kill you with them!

37.) If you hear a scream near by--thats usually a good
indicator that something bad is going on and you should
get the hell out of there.

38.) Whatever you do, dont move into the
killers house. Even if he had been rid of
before and its 5 years later--he will come
back and spank you like the naughty little
boy that you are!

39.) Hiding under your bed didn't work when you were a
kid hiding from your parents. What would make you think
it would work in a horror movie?

40.) While in a horror movie of any kind-always wear black
at night. It usually tends to help when you are running
through forests at night trying to get away from the killer.
It'll be much harder for him to spot you that way.

43.) Watch where you step. Trust me-it'll come in handy!

9.) Its still not a really smart idea to have sex.
They get more creative on killing you the
second time around.

45.) (This applies to those of you who live in small towns.)
If you have to go to a hospital late at night-go to one in a
larger town where there will be more faculty and people
around. Especially if a killer is on the lose and after you!

46.) If your tires have been slashed-there is a thing
called walking or running to where you need to go.

47.) If someone offers you a weapon to defend your self
with-take it! You are going to need it!

33.) Even guns wont kill these terrible
psycho killers! Nothing works! They
NEVER die! Its a rule in all films!

10.) Never stop in a small desert town in the middle of the
Southwest for gas, car repairs, etc. The town will inevitably
be inhabited by vampires, werewolves, cannibals, or....worst
of all...country line dancers.

50.) Its not a really good idea to keep any sort of pets in
your house-even fish and birds.

51.) If your friend asks you to stay up and watch them sleep
to make sure nothing happens to them. It would really be a
good idea for you to actually stay up.

54.) If there is anyway possible-try not to let the
bad guy enter your body. This usually will just get
you into a lot of trouble and hurt a lot of people.

55.) Kissing the killer might help you-but is that
something you really want to do?

52.) If your boyfriend turns into some ugly ass motherfucker
with knives for finger nails-when you have the chance to
kill him-do it! You can always get a new boyfriend!

53.) Save yourself! There's no need to go
anywhere to save anyone!

4.) Even if you are handicapped or have something
wrong with you-the killer will still murder your ass!
You dont' get any special treatment where they
are concerned!

56.) Always wear non-flammable material-especially to proms.

57.) If your name is Jesse-you dont have too much luck
in sequels. (i.e. Nightmare on Elm St. 2 and Prom Night II)

58.) There is no use in praying to god-
not even he can save you now.

59.) Dont trust anyone!
Even if they are one of your own kind!

24.) When you've survived the killers reign-I'd be
picky about who takes you home.

12.) If you dont die in this sequel-you wont be back in
the next one. The survivors usually aren't back for the
third installment. Two is enough for most.

14.) I really hate to be the one to inform you of this--but--
the killer thats after you. Never really dies. they
always keep coming back for more and more. Why is it
the evil ones are always immortal? No fair!

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[I know what you did last Summer]

This page was last updated on January 4th 1998
Rob Lindsay helped me with some of the rules used on this page.