Here then, is my (latest) hideous mutant of a story. The idea is that it's interactive, where you get to pick the path, like a gamebook but without the dice. I have precisely no idea whether this is a good thing or not.
That's where you come in. For once, I would appreciate comments as simple as "YOUR STORY SUCKED SO BAD IT MADE ME PUKE" though a why would be nice.
It isn't finished yet, but the principles are there. There's the occasional background wav file (only little ones) which may or may not work at all.
Good luck.