LoveIsBlind

My series is called "Love Is Blind." I don’t know how many parts there will be for it, but this is the first one. Of course, it’s P/T. :)

Serena, go ahead and post, please!!

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Okay, this series was inspired by a song, of course. The song has nothing at all to do with blindness, but plenty to do with love.

Unchained Melody

by the Righteous Brothers, redone by LeAnn Rimes

Oh my love

my darling

I’ve hungered for your touch

a long lonely time

as time goes by so slowly

and time can do so much

are you still mine?

I need your love

Godspeed your love to me

Lonely rivers flow

to the sea, to the sea

to the open arms of the sea

lonely rivers sigh

wait for me, wait for me

I’ll be coming home

wait for me

Oh my love

my darling

I’ve hungered for your touch

a long lonely time

And I know that time goes by so slowly

that time can do so much

are you still mine?

I need your love

Godspeed your love

to me

Lonely mountains gaze

at the stars, at the stars

waiting for the dawn of the day

all alone I gaze

at the stars, at the stars

dreaming of my love far away

Oh my love

my darling

I’ve hungered for your touch

a long lonely time

And I know that time goes by so slowly

that time can do so much

are you still mine?

I need your love

Godspeed your love

to me

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Love Is Blind: Sightless Eyes (VOY, P/T, PG)

by JoAnna Walsvik

part 1/?

The sun was shining brightly, the birds were singing, and the scent of growing wildflowers was in the air. *Yes*, Lieutenant Tom Paris thought, looking at the scenery around him, *it’s a great day to be alive.*

"Hey, Torres!" he called. "Check out this waterfall!"

B’Elanna walked over to him, eyeing the cascading water. It *was* beautiful. The water was crystal clear, pouring over wonderfully shaped rocks that were a shade of topaz she had never seen before. The water ran into a little stream, about the width of her engineering console, that babbled merrily along the ground.

"It’s nice," she allowed. "But you haven’t seen anything until you’ve visited the Tyrell Falls on Kessik. The water is really warm, because there’s this underground geyser that keeps it 79 degrees Farenheight year round. And there are keela flowers growing all around the river, and it looks so pretty. My father and I used to..." Her voice trailed off, and her mouth set into a thin line. "Let’s not forget we’re looking for edible vegetables, Paris," she said coolly.

Tom looked at her curiously. *So, I guess I’m not the only onewho doesn’t like talking about their dad,* he thought. *That’s one more thing we have in common.* "I know, B’Elanna. I’m looking."

Voyager had stopped off at an uninhabited M-class planet,searching for foodstuffs for Neelix. The galley was getting low on supplies, the Talaxian had informed Captain Janeway, but there was always plenty of leola root in case she didn’t want to stop anywhere. Not more then five seconds later, Janeway had Harry Kim searching for somewhere to stop. And it looked like they had gotten lucky.

The planet was a virtual paradise. It was close enough to it’s sun where there was pleasant weather year-round, and no winter. All kinds of exotic plants and flowers grew there, and there appeared to be no dangerous man-eating beasts or even any life-forms bigger than a lizard.

*I predict shore leave,* Paris thought gleefully, searching through the underbrush for anything resembling food. *I hope I can convince B’Elanna to go on a picnic with me. She’s been kinda uptight since that Pon Farr incident. Maybe I can convince her to relax.* He looked over at the half-Klingon. The frown on her face was perceptible even from the distance away from which he was standing. *Then again, maybe not.*

"Find anything, Torres?" he yelled.

"Nothing. You?"

"Not yet. I’ll keep looking."

Tom bent down to search under some bushes that were growing next to the stream. He had thought he had seen something that resembled a strawberry plant...

Nothing. Only a small green lizard that blinked up at him with big red eyes. "Hi, fella," Tom said to him. "Seen any food around here lately?"

The lizard blinked again, opening his rather large mouth wide. Tom watched it interestedly; it almost looked like it was going to talk.

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Suddenly, red hot flashes of blistering, searing pain stabbed daggers into his eyes. Tom screamed and screamed, clawing at his face in an effort to get whatever had gotten into his eyes out. Gods, it hurt like hell! No, hell would be a relief compared to this agony. It felt like a million Ktarian fire ants were in his eyes, sucking and biting and scratching.

Just as suddenly as the pain started, his hands were forced off his face and his head was plunged into ice cold water. It was brought back up a second later, Tom gasping for breath. His eyelids were forced open, and his head was again immersed into the water. "Stop...stop," he choked once it emerged. "Gods, it hurts...stop it..."

"I’m trying to help you, goddamnit! Now stop struggling!" B’Elanna’s voice. "Torres to Voyager. Medical emergency! Two to beam directly to sickbay."

The last thing Tom felt before slipping into a blessed unconsciousness was the feel of B’Elanna’s arms wrapping around his waist, and the transporter’s familiar pull as they materialized to safety.

Blackness. That was the first thing he was aware of, even after he opened his eyes. Thank the gods, they didn’t hurt anymore. The searing, blistering pain had gone.Tom squinted into the darkness. Why were the lights out?

"Computer, lights."

"The lights are currently at the normal level," the computer’s monotone voice replied.

"Computer, lights on full," he ordered, a note of panic in his voice. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he see?

"Mr. Paris?"

"Doctor, what the hell is wrong? Why is it so dark?" Tom demanded hysterically. "Why aren’t the lights working?"

"It’s not the lights that aren’t working, Mr. Paris. It’s your eyes."

"What do you mean, my eyes?! What’s wrong?!" He was yelling now.

"Calm down, Mr. Paris, and I’ll explain everything to you."

The doctor’s voice had an oddly soothing effect, and Tom forced himself to take deep breaths.

*Steady, Thomas old boy,* he told himself. *This--this eyesight problem is probably only temporary. A couple hours. Nothing to worry about.*

"On the planet’s surface, you came into contact with a venomous and apparently very hostile form of lizard. The reptile sprayed it’s venom into your eyes, causing serious damage to your corneas--in fact, all of your eyes. In essence, Mr. Paris, you are blind."

END OF PART 1

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Legal crapola: Paramount ------* god. Star Trek: Voyager ------* owned by Paramount.

Love Is Blind: Eye Of The Tiger (VOY, P/T, PG)

by JoAnna Walsvik

part 2/?

Chief Medical Officer’s Log, stardate 50699.3,

"I’ve become very concerned about the mental health of Lieutenant Tom Paris. In the two weeks since he learned of his blindness, his disposition has deteriorated rapidly. He eats a great deal less then what is acceptable for someone of his height and weight, he does not speak except to utter an occasional ‘yes’ or ‘no’ when asked a question, and he spends the majority of his time in his quarters, sleeping.

His symptoms are recurrent of maniac depression, but the levels of brain chemicals that would ordinarily cause this disorder are normal in Lt. Paris’ scans. It is my hypothesis that Lt. Paris’ depression is entirely emotional. Only he, I’m afraid, will be able to decide when he wants to live again. As of yet, it appears he would rather not face reality.

On a happier note, I have recently discovered a remedy to Lt. Paris’ blindness. I will perform an operation on his eyes and then, over the course of several months, perform a series of treatments. Once the treatments have been completed, I will perform another operation. This surgery will hopefully regain some, if not all, of Lt. Paris’ eyesight.

However, when I broke this news to Lt. Paris, his mood did not improve. The prospect of being blind even for a few months is devastating to him, and he’d rather sleep away the day in sickbay then get up and face his problem. Mr. Neelix, as self-proclaimed morale officer, has done everything in his power to try and improve Lt. Paris’ outlook, but unfortunately he has failed in his endeavors. Kes has attempted the same, and also failed. Unless drastic measures are taken soon, I fear that Lt. Paris may unconsciously do himself harm.

Already I am considering feeding him intravenously, as he eats close to nothing at every meal.I have asked Lt. Paris’ closest friends, Harry Kim and B’Elanna Torres, to intervene and see if they can persuade him to rise out of his depression. Harry Kim has tried to do so, but Lt. Paris was unresponsive. B’Elanna Torres has yet to try, and I hope she will be more successful -- or else the Lt. Paris we all knew before his accident might be gone forever."

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"Tom? It’s B’Elanna. Are you awake?" B’Elanna Torres hesitantly poked her head into Tom’s pitch-black quarters.

"Yeah." Tom remained flat on his back, not even turning his head towards the sound of his visitor’s voice.

"Computer, lights on full. Jeez, Paris, were you still sleeping? It’s 1100 hours already."

B’Elanna purposely tried to make her voice light-hearted and cheerful, something she was anything but. It was hard to see her best friend in such dejection. He looked like he hadn’t moved from his bed in days. He didn’t even have his eyes open. Tom’s eyes still looked the same. The doctor had repaired the damage to his irises easily, and B’Elanna was grateful that those beautiful blue eyes of his had been spared. She wasn’t quite sure just *why* she was grateful, but she was.

However, Tom didn’t seem to care. Not about his eyes, not about his appearance, not about anything. B’Elanna had to admit that for once, she was truly frightened. Tom just wasn’t himself, and it scared her. She missed the old Tom Paris, and she wanted him back. But it didn’t look like he was coming back anytime soon.

"I was tired." Tom’s voice was monotone.

"You’ve been tired a lot lately." B’Elanna sat down on a chair next to Tom’s bed. A faint edge had crept into her voice.

"What’s that supposed to mean?" He had suddenly become defensive.

"Hey, don’t get upset. It just seems like you’ve been sleeping all the time."

"I’m sorry if I’m not recuperating as speedily as you’d like, Dr. Torres. I’ll try to improve." Heavy sarcasm hung on his statement.

"Excuse me for being concerned, Paris," she retorted, somewhat shocked at his attitude.

Tom had never been anything but nice to her ever since she had known him. Of course, they did insult each other constantly, but she knew it was all in good fun, with no malicious intent. But now -- she could tell he meant what he said...and it frightened her further.

"Look, B’Elanna, could you please get to the purpose of this visit so I can go back to sleep?"

"Why?"

Her question seemed to surprise him for a second, but he recovered instantly. "Because I’m tired. Now will you please go away?"

"The doctor told me that you slept all day yesterday and most of today. No one needs that much sleep."

"Well, I do. Now will you please go away?"

B’Elanna’s eyes narrowed. Tom had once told her that he’d like to see her Klingon side again, and he was about to get his wish.

"I am so sick of this pathetic attitude of yours! So, you’re blind. Big deal. Life goes on. The ship isn’t going to stop moving because you’ve had an accident, and if you think it will, then you’re in for a big surprise. The ship *hasn’t* stopped because you’re blind. Everyone is going on with their lives -- except you. You haven’t showered, shaved, or changed clothes in weeks. You’ve barely said more then three words to anyone. You’ve managed to make everyone worried sick about you -- the doctor, Captain Janeway, me and Harry -- we’re all so busy worrying about your problems that we can’t focus on our own!

Do you think that *you* have it bad? Well, what about Ensign Durst? Or Ensign Hogan? Or Ensign Kaplan? Would you rather you ended up like them? Without any life at all, killed by a heartless alien on some unknown planet? You still have your life, Thomas Eugene Paris, and I as well as everyone else on this ship expect you to live it, regardless of your injury. I know you can’t fly the ship or go on away missions, but you can go to the holodeck, or you can go to the mess hall. There are hundreds of things you can do if you only *try*! But you don’t. You just mope around in your quarters, thinking that the universe will collapse because you lost your eyesight. Get over it. If you want sympathy or pity, you aren’t going to get any from me, because that’s what everyone else on this damn ship has been giving you. And I think you’ve gotten enough. It’s time to get up and show everyone that you’re *not* someone to be pitied; that you’re someone who *can* contribute, even though you have a minor disability. You had better damn well get up and start living again, Tom Paris, because if you don’t I’ll -- I’ll -- oh, I don’t know what I’ll do!"

By the time she was finished with her tirade, B’Elanna had worked herself up into a rage. She stood up, knocked her chair over, pulled the blankets from Paris’ bed and threw them across the room, and finally stormed out the door, nearly knocking over Kes in the process. The furious half-Klingon didn’t even pause to apologize, but charged down the corridor, leaving a bewildered Ocampa behind her.

"Tom? Are you all right? What happened in here? Why was B’Elanna so mad?" Kes asked tentatively, stepping lightly into his quarters. She had come to check up on him, as per the doctor’s orders, and had been able to hear B’Elanna shouting from the corridor.

Tom was lying on his bed, blinking in astonishment. "I’m -- I’m not quite sure *what* happened, Kes," he replied dazedly. "What -- did she break anything?"

"Not that I can see," Kes answered, gazing around his quarters. "Your blankets are in the other room, and there’s a chair upside down next to your bed, but other then that I think everything is in one piece."

"She yelled at me," the pilot said in wonderment. "She actually yelled at me."

"And did a good job of it, from what I heard," Kes agreed. "I just came to check on you. Is there anything you need?"

Tom was silent for a long moment. "Kes, can you -- I mean, will you -- could you help me get up?"

Kes stared at him, her blue eyes wide. This was the first time since his accident that Tom had spoken more than a few syllables to her or showed any interest in getting out of bed.

She was overjoyed, but struggling to maintain a calm tone. "Of course. I’d be happy to."

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*Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn! Why do I always do that?* B’Elanna Torres asked herself for the thousandth time, pacing around her quarters like a caged tigress. *Why do I always let my temper run away with me? I actually screamed at Tom Paris!*

The more she thought about her outburst, the worse she felt. *I can’t believe I said that. I can’t believe I told him to get over it. By the blood of Kahless, B’Elanna, the man is blind! That’s not something you recover from easily! And *I* had to go and shout at the poor guy until I was blue in the face. Once more, I’ve managed to screw things up. He’s never going to speak to me again -- or anyone else, for that matter. He’ll probably get worse. Why, oh why can’t I control this damn temper of mine?!*

B’Elanna had managed to work herself up into a remorseful frenzy when she heard the familiar chime of a visitor to her quarters. She stood up to open her door, all the while kicking herself mentally. *Great. Just great. It’s probably the doctor coming to tell me what an idiot I am for screaming at Tom like that.* But when she opened her doors, her mouth dropped open in undisguised astonishment.

Tom Paris was standing there, Kes slightly behind him. He was freshly showered, shaved, and wearing clean, unwrinkled civvies. His blue eyes were slightly unfocused and staring at the wall behind her, but other then that he looked completely normal -- like the old Tom Paris. And, strangely enough, he was holding a white rose in his hand.

"Tom...?" B’Elanna breathed, too astounded at this sudden change to say much more.

At the sound of her voice, Tom broke into a grin. "Truce?" he said sweetly, proffering the rose in her direction. B’Elanna was speechless.

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Can you tell that I love to torture you? Heh, heh, heh....I’m as bad as Dr. Psycho Hose Beast in "Darkling", a.k.a. the Emergency Medical Holographic Program. ;) ‘Til next time!

Legal crapola: Paramount -- -- -- > god. Star Trek: Voyager -- -- -> owned by Paramount.

See part 1 for all the series info.

Love is Blind: Visions of Understanding (VOY, P/T, PG)

by JoAnna Walsvik

part 3/?

"Tom, *what* are you doing?"

"Looking for my other boot."

B’Elanna perched herself on the edge of a nearby chair, laughing down at him. "You look ridiculous."

Tom remained on the floor, flat on his stomach, half his body beneath his bed. His voice was slightly muffled as he searched for his elusive shoe. "Lovely to see you too, Torres. Ah -- there it is!" He emerged triumphant, the misplaced boot held firmly in his hand. "Damned if I know how it got under there."

"You really should learn to take better care of your things, Tom Paris. You just throw them all over the place instead of putting them away," B’Elanna lectured.

"Yes, *mother*." Tom shoved his foot into the boot and stood up. "So, how do I look?" he asked, proudly displaying himself to her.

B’Elanna cocked her head, studying him critically. "Pretty good for a guy who can’t see if his clothes match or not."

"Thank you. So, where are we going today?"

"Um...the Mess Hall, I think. Then, if you’re up to it, the bridge."

Tom froze. "The bridge? Why?"

B’Elanna shrugged. "I don’t know. I thought you might like to visit."

"I would, but..."

"But what?"

"I don’t know...I just don’t like feeling useless. There’s nothing for me to do there."

"Tom Paris, we’ve had this discussion before -- "

"Don’t remind me. My ears are still ringing."

"Ha, ha. Do you want to go or not?"

He paused, weighing the choices in his mind. "I don’t think so. Not today," he said finally. "I don’t think I’m ready."

"Oh. Okay." B’Elanna’s voice reflected her disappointment.Tom groped for her hand, squeezing it in his when he found it.

"I’m sorry, B’Elanna, but I don’t see the point. Everyone will just be staring at me, pitying me...I hate that. And what will I do there? Sit and watch? Be the ‘observer’ I was meant to be when this mission started?" His words held a bitter tone. "I can’t. Not today."

"That’s okay, Tom. Really. I understand," B’Elanna assured him. "How about going down to the holodeck instead? Harry has a new program I think you’d like. It’s a place called the Badlands, on Earth, in North Dakota. I think you’d like it. The scenery is beau...I -- I mean, you’d like it," she finished lamely. she mentally berated herself.

Tom didn’t seem fazed. "Sure. Sounds great. What do you say we skip the Mess Hall and have a picnic? I have a couple rations left."

"Hey, sounds good to me. You get the food, and I’ll see if the holodeck is free. Pick you up in about fifteen minutes?"

"Yup."

"See you then." B’Elanna disappeared out the door.

Tom shook his head and smiled. "Mother hen," he murmured under his breath, feeling his way towards the replicator. B’Elanna had become his self-proclaimed caretaker ever since he had decided -- well, with the help of a very thorough lecture from her -- to get up and about. He didn’t stir from his quarters without B’Elanna by his side. She guided him through the corridors, bullied him into ‘excursions’, as she called them, to the Mess Hall, the hydroponics bay, or the holodeck, and basically did everything she could to help him. And she was graceful about it, something Tom appreciated very much. She let him do what he could do himself, without rushing to help him with every single task or being overbearing. She knew his limitations and assisted him without comment when he came upon something he needed eyes for.

And most importantly, she was just *there*. When he needed to vent some frustration, she sat and silently listened to him rage. When a bout of depression overcame him, she was there to cheer him up; or rather, threaten to yell at him again. And sometimes, when he didn’t feel like facing the world, it was just nice to sit quietly and know that she was near him.

He’d never had someone quite like her. At the Academy and during his years of serving on starships, he had been too concerned with living up to his image as "the admiral’s son" to make any close friends. And at the Penal Colony...no one had friends. The only way to survive was to be a loner. And then came Voyager, Harry, and B’Elanna. Harry was a great friend, of course, but B’Elanna was...different. While Harry’s naiveté and cheerfulness was something Tom valued in his friend, sometimes he needed someone who had seen the down side, who hadn’t breezed through life without a care. B’Elanna could understand him, sometimes even better then Harry or even the captain could.

It was slightly ironic that the one person whom he had never thought would become a close friend had become just that. His first impression of B’Elanna had been one of wariness, mainly because of her all too noticeable Klingon features. But, slowly, as time passed, he had begun to see past the ridges and had gotten to know the person behind them. And the person he found was a wonderful person indeed.

"Hey, Paris, you ready?" The object of his musings poked her head through the doorway impatiently.

"Yup," he answered, grabbing the picnic basket he had replicated. "Let’s go."

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B’Elanna thought, gazing at the scenery before her. The rocks that made up the craggy hills of the Badlands of North Dakota were a rusty brownish-red, jutting and protruding from odd angles. They were painted with a myriad of beautiful colors; orange and red and brown and gold, painting a mosaic of colors around the landscape. Dots of green spotted the hillside where grass and scraggly trees had dared to grow.

B’Elanna and Tom were having their picnic lunch at one such spot, shaded by a small but graceful evergreen. The piney smell permeated the surroundings. B’Elanna thought with a touch of sadness.

An eagle soared silently overhead, and B’Elanna could just barely make out the fuzzy silhouette of a mountain goat in the distance. All in all, it was an amazingly realistic program. she thought wistfully.

"What are you thinking about?" Tom asked suddenly. He was lounging on the soft grass, his sightless eyes seeming to stare out into the distance. His fingers nervously played with a blade of grass he had plucked.

"Oh...nothing," B’Elanna said vaguely. "Just what a great program this is. Harry has really outdone himself."

"He has," Tom agreed. "That kid is a genius when it comes to holodecks."

"Yeah," B’Elanna murmured in reply.

A comfortable silence spread between the two, and neither spoke for what seemed like hours, but was only a few minutes. They listened to the lonely wind whip across the barren hills, each deep in their own thoughts.

"B’Elanna," Tom said hesitantly, "could -- could you tell me about Tyrell Falls?"

B’Elanna started visibly at the mention of this faraway place, but slowly her tense body relaxed as she became submerged in memories.

"Well, it’s not a big waterfall -- it’s probably only about six or seven meters -- but the water is crystal clear and is more refreshing than anything you could get from a replicator. There’s an underground geyser that stays hot year-round, so even on the coldest winter days you can see steam coming from the water. The rocks around it are a glowing shade of brown, a topaz color, and on nice days, when the sun shines, you can see hundreds of tiny sparkles in the rocks, like fairies live there that only emerge in the sunlight. Wild keela flowers grow all around the falls, and they’re the prettiest plants you have ever seen -- slender green stems, delicate purple and pink petals with yellow centers -- and their smell reminds you of a warm summer night. And the animals -- little frogs and ducks, and bumblebees and dragonflies -- all of them make their homes there. Hardly a day goes by when you don’t see a yaura fish swimming through the stream with it’s gold scales glinting in the midday sun. My father and I -- "

Abruptly, she cut herself off, just as she had on the day of Tom’s accident. "Well, it’s a beautiful place," she finished shortly.

For a moment, Tom didn’t say a word. Then, slowly, his hand snaked across the grass and found B’Elanna’s. He clutched it like a lifeline, and she returned his squeeze.

"When I was a kid," Tom began, almost timidly, "my dad was hardly ever home. Starfleet business, I guess. My sisters barely even noticed -- they had my mom, and both were so busy with their school activities they didn’t have time to miss him. But I did. I wanted my dad to play ball with me, and take me on trips, and do all the stuff normal dads did with their sons. But he was never home long enough to do any of it.And when he was home, it was constant talk about my future. The Academy this, Starfleet that, I never heard the end of it. And I had to be the best in everything I did. Nothing less could please him. If I couldn’t come in first place, then it wasn’t worth doing. He tried to control my life -- told me who I could be friends with, what was acceptable and what wasn’t, even what girls to date. I don’t know why I didn’t put my foot down early on, but I guess all I wanted to do was please him -- to make him like me a little bit.

And then...then came the accident, and the lies I said, and my confession. Dad was so disappointed in me...and I was disappointed in myself. But what hurt was that my dad couldn’t even forgive me. I asked him to, I practically begged his forgiveness, but he only looked at me and said, ‘Things like this can’t be forgiven.’ He had no idea how much that hurt me. So, I set out to prove that I didn’t care what he thought or what he did. I joined the Maquis. I was sent to the Penal Colony. And all the while I kept telling myself that I didn’t care, that I wasn’t living up to anyone’s standards but my own. But I did care. And I knew it.

But now that I’m here -- well, it doesn’t bother me so much. I feel more at home on Voyager than I ever did at my father’s house. I have real friends here, friends who don’t give a damn if my father was an admiral or an ensign." He paused slightly, his unseeing eyes staring far off into the distance. "Friends like you."

This heartfelt statement sent tears welling up in B’Elanna’s eyes -- tears! And she hadn’t cried since -- well, it had been a very long time. She said nothing in response to his remark, but squeezed his hand tightly.

B’Elanna was silent for a long while. Then, hesitantly, she began a tale of her own. "My father left when I was five. I can barely remember him -- I just have a blurry image of a big, strong man with black hair and eyes. He had a wonderful laugh, and when he’d come home at the end of the day, he’d pick me up in his arms and swing me around, all the while laughing and saying, "How’s my little warrior princess?" That was his nickname for me -- I was his little ‘warrior princess’. For a while, three or four years, we were such a happy family. Even my mother laughed and smiled -- and for a Klingon, that was astonishing.

We used to go on picnics at Tyrell Falls. Father and I would play on the rocks. We’d always pretend that I was a princess -- a warrior princess -- and that he was a knight coming to save me. Of course, he always did. We had so much fun together -- our family seemed perfect. And then -- then my brother was born."

"Brother?" Tom repeated in amazement. "I didn’t know you had a brother."

"His name was Benjamin," B’Elanna said softly. "Benjamin Nathaniel Torres. He was born a month after my fourth birthday -- and he was such a sweet baby, Tom. He had black hair and brown eyes, just like me, and my father was so proud. He had always wanted a son, and when Benjamin was born he was so happy I thought he would burst.

And my whole world fell apart. Suddenly, neither of my parents had time for me. It was Benjamin this, Benjamin that -- ‘don’t play so loudly, B’Elanna, you’ll wake Benjamin. We can’t go to Tyrell Falls, B’Elanna, we have to stay with Benjamin.’ I was so jealous of him. I wished he had never been born."

B’Elanna paused, and Tom could feel her hands tremble.

"What happened to him?" he asked gently.

"He died," she whispered, her voice quivering, "when he was almost a year old. He had just started to walk -- and there was a small pond in our backyard. Mother had turned her back for an instant -- and he somehow got out the back door. Mother and Father found him face down in the pond -- they rushed him to the hospital and the doctors did everything they could for him -- but it was too late. He was dead."

"Oh, B’Elanna, I’m so sorry," Tom murmured sympathetically.

"And for the longest time," B’Elanna choked, tears streaming unashamedly down her face, "I thought it was my fault. I had wished he had never been born. I had hated him. I told myself that if I had loved him like Mother and Father had, he might not have died."

"It wasn’t your fault," Tom said quietly, but firmly.

"I know that now," she nodded. "But my father -- he blamed my mother. He said that if -- if she hadn’t of turned her back to him, even for that split second, Benjamin wouldn’t have died. Father stopped laughing -- he was never home, and when he did come home he would be scowling and angry. And then, one day, he didn’t come home at all, and Mother told me that he was never coming back. I didn’t believe her at first -- every day I’d sit by the door, waiting for him to come striding up the front walk, laughing, and scooping me up in his arms, calling me his little ‘warrior princess’. But it never happened. He never came home. And I haven’t seen him since." B’Elanna was openly sobbing now.

Tom gathered her up in his arms and let her cry. He had a strong feeling she hadn’t cried in a long time; that she had bottled up all of her feelings so no one would ever see her cry and show weakness. Then again, he was the same way, hiding behind a mask of brash cockiness, hoping no one would ever look inside of him to see the hurt that was there.

And suddenly he was crying too. He, Tom Paris, who hadn’t cried since the day of his mother’s death almost fifteen years before. He hadn’t cried when three men under his command had died, he hadn’t cried when he had been court-martialed out of Starfleet, and he hadn’t cried when he was sent to the Penal Colony -- but he was crying now.

The two sobbed in each other’s arms for what seemed like hours. Eventually, both of their tears lessened and then stopped altogether.

B’Elanna looked up at Tom, sniffling slightly as she wiped the remainder of tears from her eyes. "You know, you’re the first person I ever told about Benjamin," she said shakily. "Even Chakotay doesn’t know."

"Then I guess we’re even," Tom admitted. "You’re the first person I ever told about my father."

"I haven’t cried since I was five."

"I haven’t cried since I was fifteen."

Tom smiled at her -- at least, where he hoped she was. "You win."

B’Elanna chuckled. "What’s my prize?"

Tom paused. "How about...another picnic tomorrow? Only next time, we won’t turn it into a cry-fest."

She chuckled again. "Sounds good to me. Same time, same place, same program?"

"Yup. And, B’Elanna -- ?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for listening."

"You’re welcome. And -- thank *you* for listening."

"No problem."

END OF PART 3

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Well, there’s part three! I hope you enjoyed it!

Legal crapola: Paramount -- -- -- > god. Star Trek: Voyager -- -- -- > owned by Paramount.

Well, I’ve done it. I’ve resurrected Sandrine’s! I have and will always prefer it to the beach resort program, especially since Sandrine’s was the brainchild of none other then Tom Paris himself. So, if you are heavily infatuated the beach resort and cannot stand Sandrine’s, you have been warned.

Oh, yeah, one more thing. I love all the feedback I’ve been getting, so thank you all! I’d wouldn’t mind more at jowalsvi@sendit.sendit.nodak.edu! And thank you to Serena, who has and is still posting for me! Thanks a million, Serena! You’re worth your weight in latinum! :)

Okay, that’s enough of my ramblings. On to the story...Without further ado, I give you:

Love Is Blind: Love At First Sight

by JoAnna Walsvik

part 4/?

"...and then he dumped the entire punch bowl on my head. It took me *weeks* to get all of the cranberry juice out of my ears!"

B’Elanna burst into laughter. "Somehow, Paris, I’m not at all surprised."

"The prom chaperones certainly were. They never thought that shy little Louis Adolph would ever do something like that."

"You shouldn’t have flirted with his girlfriend."

"Thanks for the advice, Torres. Why didn’t you tell me that fifteen years ago?"

"Tom Paris, you’re incorrigible."

"Thank you." A smug look settled over his face at the two of them entered the turbolift.

"Good evening, Ensign Barlow," B’Elanna said to the other occupant of the turbolift.

Tom vaguely recognized the name. Ensign Nelson Barlow, a plain, rather nervous man from Stellar Cartography. Tom had only met him a few times, and he seemed like a decent guy. "Hi, Ensign," he said in the general direction of the passenger.

There was short, uncomfortable pause. "Ah--good evening, Lieutenants." The mumbled reply was painfully polite. "Um--I--er, that is, I--this is my deck. Good-bye." As fast as he could manage, the ensign dashed off the turbolift.

"Computer, what deck is this?" Tom requested quietly.

"Deck 6," the computer’s monotone voice replied.

"Tom--" B’Elanna tried to say, but he cut her off.

"What was Ensign Barlow’s destination?"

"Deck 10."

Tom’s jaw set into a hard line. He knew all too well why Barlow had gotten off at the wrong deck.

"Tom, he didn’t mean to be rude."

A frosty silence was the only answer she received.

"It’s only natural that some people feel uncomfortable around you."

"I don’t like being treated like a freak," he said harshly.

For a moment, nothing was said. Then--"I know exactly how you feel," B’Elanna said softly.

In an instant, Tom felt horrible. Why had he said that? He had only been blind a few months and was lucky enough to live on a ship full of understanding people--well, most of them. B’Elanna, on the other hand, had probably lived with prejudice and discrimination her entire life. Not that many people liked Klingons, and the fact that she was also half-human probably repulsed some bigoted, biased people in the Alpha Quadrant. No doubt she had experienced it all. And he had to go and whine about how one person--*one person*--had felt uncomfortable around him. Hell, if their situations had been reversed and Barlow had been the one who was blind instead of him, he would have acted the same way.

Besides, it wasn’t hard to imagine how he must look through the eyes of another. Blue eyes staring sightlessly off into the distance--it was enough to make anyone on edge. He had no right to complain and, in the process, accidentally insult a person he cared about a great deal.

"B’Elanna, I’m sorry," he said as they stepped off the holodeck.

"For what?" she asked carelessly, but in a slightly subdued voice.

"For what I said. It was in bad taste."

"Don’t worry about it, Paris," she said dismissively. Tom recognized her "I-don’t-want-to-talk-about-it" tone and didn’t say anything more.

"Uh-oh," he heard her murmur.

"What?" he asked.

"The holodeck’s already being used. The program running is--Sandrine’s," B’Elanna said in surprise. Sandrine’s had been used less and less frequently since Neelix’s resort program had gained popularity among the crew.

"Computer, who is in the holodeck?" Tom asked.

"Captain Janeway, Commander Chakotay, and Ensign Kim," the computer answered.

"Let’s go in," Tom suggested. "At least we know we’re not intruding on anything private."

"Sure," B’Elanna agreed, unobtrusively slipping her arm through Tom’s to guide him through the holodeck.

Tom marveled as they entered Sandrine’s. Harry, Captain Janeway, and Commander Chakotay were sitting at a small table in the center of Sandrine’s, laughing heartily. When they saw their visitors, the laughter ceased, but surprised expressions and delighted smiles lit up their faces as Tom and B’Elanna approached the table. Janeway noted with pleasure the protective hold B’Elanna had over Tom, and the way Tom seemed to be enjoying it. she thought hopefully.

"Hi, Tom. Hi, B’Elanna," Harry greeted them lightly.

"Mind if we join the party?" Tom asked cheerfully.

"Go right ahead," the captain said warmly, watching as B’Elanna quietly guided Tom to a chair and sat down herself. "We were just doing some reminiscing. Chakotay was telling us about his first date."

"I’ve heard that story before," B’Elanna grinned, winking at the commander.

"I haven’t. What happened?" Tom asked interestedly.

"As I was saying," Chakotay said, smiling at B’Elanna, "I was thirteen and I asked a girl named Narra to go hiking with me. She was the cutest girl in my class--long blond hair, big blue eyes, that sort of thing. She also had a beautiful voice--she was going to sing a solo in our school concert the next day, in fact. Well, the first mile or so of our hike went all right, but then, disaster struck." Chakotay paused dramatically. "It started to rain--and I mean *rain*. By the time we got back home, we were both drenched to the bone. The next day she woke up with an absolutely horrible cold--she could barely talk, let alone sing--and she blamed me. Needless to say, we didn’t go out again."

Sympathetic chuckles came from around the table. "If you think that’s bad, Commander," Harry Kim told him, "wait until you hear the story of how I met my girlfriend, Libby."

"This should be good," Tom joked, leaning back in his chair.

"It all started at the Kterian Music Festival," Harry continued. "I came late and sat down in what I thought was an empty chair. But a few minutes later, this stunningly beautiful young woman--long, curly brown hair, big brown eyes, and a smile that would make a Ferengi turn honest--walks up to me and says, ‘Excuse me, but I think you’ve got my chair.’ I can’t remember what I said--I think I stammered an apology--but I got out of there as fast as I could. The next day, I found out her name and where she lived from a friend of mine who had been sitting next to her. Her name was Libby Andrews, and she lived just a few blocks away from me. It took me three weeks, but I finally worked up the courage to ask her out. I had meant to call over to her house, but the next day I met her at a coffee shop called Cosmo’s. I figured it was my chance, so I walked up to her, gathered up all my courage, and said, ‘May I drink you a buy?’"

Laughter rang out from his friends. "Oh, Harry, you didn’t," Janeway giggled.

"I did," Harry said ruefully. "I tell you, I was so embarrassed I wished I could crawl into a hole and never come out. But Libby just started laughing and then she said, ‘That is the most sincere pick-up line I have ever heard. And yes, I’d be delighted if you could get me a Vulcan mocha, extra sweet.’ So, I got it for her, and we started talking, and I eventually managed to ask her out again--and this time I didn’t screw it up. She accepted, and the rest--" Harry shrugged his shoulders, "--is history."

"‘May I drink you a buy.’ Harry, that is priceless," Chakotay said, shaking his head in amusement. "But, you have to admit, it worked."

"A smile that could turn a Ferengi honest," Tom mused. "She sounds like a gem, Harry."

"She is," the ensign agreed wistfully. "I really miss her."

"I promise you’ll see her again," Janeway vowed softly.

"You know, I remember when I first saw the girl of my dreams," Tom said, tactfully changing the subject. "She was with my best friend at the time."

"Your best friend? Were they dating?" Janeway asked sympathetically.

"No. They were on a--an away mission together, and they became trapped on a planet by a group of aliens," Tom said vaguely. "I was part of the team that went down to rescue them. Well, we eventually succeeded, but not before getting caught in a nasty rockslide. I remember that--" a slow grin spread across his face, "--that she looked absolutely horrible. She was covered with dirt and grime, her clothes were filthy, and she looked like she had been trampled by a herd of elephants. She had been slightly injured and was a bit weak, so I had to support her weight as we got out of danger. Her arm was around mine, and she was leaning against me, and all I could think was that it was love at first sight. Of course, as the months went on, I tried to deny it--I pursued other girls, I tried to tell myself that it was just a harmless infatuation, but I knew it was different then that."

"Did you ever go out with her?" Janeway asked, completely spellbound by his story.

"Eventually, yes, we did go out. Nothing became of it--at least, not yet. But, maybe someday..."

"Someday," Harry echoed, smiling at his friend. "Well, sorry to dash, but I have an early shift tomorrow."

"So do we," Janeway added with a glance at Chakotay, who nodded in confirmation. "We’d better get going."

"We might as well leave, too," B’Elanna said. "Computer, end program."

The black-and-yellow holodeck grid replaced the lively French tavern, and the five friends took their leave of each other, bidding cheerful good-nights. It was later, when B’Elanna had escorted Tom back to his quarters, that she asked curiously, "Tom, you know that girl in your story?"

"Yes?" he asked, pausing outside the doorway to his quarters.

"What was her name?"

"Her name?" Tom paused slightly, an odd smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I’ll tell you a bit more then that. The planet was the Ocampan homeworld, my best friend was Harry, and the girl...was you."

B’Elanna was dumbstruck. "Me?"

"Yes, you." Tom reached down and gently caressed her cheek with his hand. "Good-night, B’Elanna." He disappeared into his quarters.

B’Elanna stood staring at the closed doors, her jaw dropped in amazement. The girl in that absolutely beautiful and touching story was...her? No one had ever said such sweet things about her...and she had certainly never expected Tom Paris to be the one to say them. What was it he had said...when he saw the girl, it was *love* at first sight?

"Love," she murmured out loud. "He said love at first sight." B’Elanna’s mind was whirling with astonishment and stupefaction when she turned to go to her quarters. As she walked numbly through the corridors, a dazed expression on her face, she could only think one thing: *He said love at first sight.*

It was going to be a long night.

END OF PART 4

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Legal crapola: Paramount ------> god. Star Trek: Voyager ------

> owned by Paramount.

Love Is Blind: An Eye For An Eye

by JoAnna Walsvik

part 5/8?

"So, Doc, how does it look?" Tom Paris asked brightly, hopping off the biobed.

"Very good, Mr. Paris," the doctor said, studying a PADD. "In fact, I believe that will be the last of your treatments. I’d like to schedule the operation for three days from now."

Tom froze, turning towards the doctor’s voice. "You mean--I’m going to get my sight back?"

"If all goes well, yes. I won’t deceive you, Mr. Paris. There is a possibility you will only regain a portion of your eyesight, and an even smaller possibility that you won’t get it back at all. However, that probability is almost zero. The prospects look very good."

"In three days," Tom repeated.

"That’s correct. Come to sickbay at 0700 and we’ll get started. You may go now."

Tom walked out the sickbay doors in a daze. The news was a shock to him. It had been nine months since the accident that took away his eyesight, and ever since then, week after week, he had gone to sickbay and patiently waited while the doctor worked on his eyes. The doctor had never been sure just how many treatments he would need. And in the meantime, he had become accustomed to the eternal darkness day in and day out.

He could now make his way around the ship with no assistance whatsoever. He knew Voyager inside and out, just by the feel of her. His blindness had become almost...normal. And, in a way, he was going to miss being blind. There had been some advantages--his hearing had enhanced to the point that it was almost as good as Tuvok’s. His sense of touch had also been vastly improved--he could now recognize any object just by it’s feeling.

But in three days, he’d be able to see.Tom felt like leaping into the air and clicking his heels together. Finally, after so long! He’d be able to see the red of his uniform, he’d be able to see his pilot’s console on the bridge, he’d be able to see B’Elanna’s beautiful face again.

"B’Elanna," he breathed, skidding to a stop and turning arif...

But the next morning, B’Elanna had arrived at his quarters and, in response to his hesitant question, kissed him. And the rest, as Harry had said that same fateful night three weeks ago, was history.

He and B’Elanna were now steadily dating, and their favorite place to go was still the holodeck and the North Dakota Badlands program. When the two were there, they talked about anything and everything, but mostly about each other. Some of the facts they learned were little things--Tom discovered that B’Elanna’s favorite color was mauve, and she found out that he favored blue. His favorite meal was hot, plain tomato soup, while B’Elanna loved to eat chocolate ice cream.

Some of the discoveries about each other were rather surprising--Tom learned that B’Elanna could speak fluent Klingon and was skilled at using a bat’leth, and B’Elanna found out that Tom adored children and wanted a few of his own someday. B’Elanna didn’t know yet that Tom had hopes that she would eventually help him with that plan.

"B’Elanna!" Tom shouted, dashing into the Cargo Bay.

"Tom? What is it?" B’Elanna asked, approaching him with worry etched into her voice. He didn’t usually come visit her while she was on duty, and certainly not while she was in the Cargo Bay. It could be a dangerous place for someone who couldn’t see.

Tom swept her up into an enthusiastic hug. "The doctor says he’s going to operate on my eyes in three days! I’m going to see again!"

"Oh, Tom, that’s wonderful!" B’Elanna exclaimed. "I’m so happy for you!"

"I knew you would be. That’s why I had to come down and tell you myself," Tom beamed. "Can you believe it? It seems like I’ve been blind forever!"

"Not quite that long," B’Elanna said wryly. "I’m sorry to rush off, but I have to finish supervising the loading of these containers. We’ve had to add another shelf, we have so many."

The relief in her voice was unmistakable. After all, most of the receptacles were filled with spare engineering parts, something they were in need of. She made a mental note to personally thank the captain for her skillful negotiating.

"Won’t they be too heavy?" Tom asked. "These things weigh more then 400 kilograms, don’t they?"

"Some of them do. But the supports are strong enough," B’Elanna assured him. "Look, I’ll see you tonight for dinner, okay?"

"Okay," he said, placing a quick kiss on her cheek. "See you tonight."

B’Elanna walked off, and for a moment Tom just stood there, savoring the sounds of the working crewmembers. He had sorely missed his job, and would be very grateful to get back to the thing he loved doing best--piloting. Even though he was sure he could pilot blind--he had done it several times on the holodeck--Starfleet had rules about blind pilots. And Captain Janeway chose to adhere to those rules.

From where he stood, he could clearly hear B’Elanna as she issued orders, just a few meters away. Suddenly, another sound grabbed his attention--it came from directly above B’Elanna’s voice. A faint cracking sound--the sound of...

"Oh, my God," Tom breathed. For a terrible instant, he realized what was happening. One of the containers--the container directly above B’Elanna--was about to fall.

He didn’t even hesitate. As fast as he could, he charged across the Cargo Bay and slammed his body into B’Elanna’s. The of them tumbled to the floor a split second before a horrible crash echoed throughout the Cargo Bay. As Tom had realized, one of the supports on the shelves had malfunctioned, causing the top shelf to tip slightly and one of the containers to slide off. The massive, weighty container had smashed to the floor, luckily not spilling it’s contents.

For a minute after the impact, there was dead silence in the Cargo Bay. Everyone was staring in horror at the spot the chief engineer would have occupied if Tom had not acted as quickly as he had. Everybody knew that B’Elanna would have most certainly been killed by the blow.

As for the chief engineer, she was crumpled on the floor in stunned disbelief, Tom lying right beside her, breathing heavily. That had been a very close call--too close.

"Are you okay?" Tom asked her, pulling himself into a sitting position and groping for her hand.

"Fine," she said faintly, her face completely white. If she had remained standing there--if Tom had not shoved her out of the way in time...

Suddenly, they were surrounded by the concerned crewmembers who had witnessed the near-fatal accident.

"Lieutenant, are you all right?" Josh Carey asked worriedly, helping her to stand up.

"I--I think so," B’Elanna said shakily, glancing over at Tom. Lieutenant Nicoletti was helping him to his feet, and he seemed just as shaken up as she was. "Thanks to Tom."

"Lieutenant Paris, how in the world did you know that container was about to fall?" Sue Nicoletti asked him in amazement.

"I heard it," Tom replied quietly. "I heard it start to fall--and I knew B’Elanna was in danger."

"Do either of you need to go to sickbay?" Carey questioned.

"I’m fine," Tom shrugged.

B’Elanna, however, wasn’t as sure. "Actually, I’m feeling a little dizzy," she admitted. "I think I hit my head against the floor when Tom smashed into me."

"Sorry," Tom said guiltily.

B’Elanna waved him off. "I’d rather have a small bump on the head then--than an injury more serious."

"I’ll take you to Sickbay," he announced. "The others can finish loading the rest of the containers."

Neither Carey nor the other crew argued with him. They knew that he could make it to sickbay with his hands tied behind his back.

B’Elanna didn’t argue either. "Good idea. Carey, I’m leaving you in charge until I get back."

"Yes, Lieutenant."

Tom and B’Elanna left the Cargo Bay, she leaning heavily on his arm. The world was beginning to spin slightly, and a rolling, nauseous feeling was starting to build in her stomach.

"Well, what do we have here?" the doctor asked upon their arrival in Sickbay.

Quickly, Tom explained the accident while settling B’Elanna on a biobed. When the doctor heard the story, his face became grave. He scanned B’Elanna with his tricorder and his features melted into relief. "You’re a very lucky woman, Lieutenant. Only a slight concussion. There is no doubt that if Lieutenant Paris had not acted as quickly as he did, you would have been killed."

"I owe you one, Paris," B’Elanna smiled as the doctor injected her with a hypospray.

"It seems to me that the debt was repaid long ago," the doctor remarked before Tom could answer. "You did, after all, save his eyes."

Tom blinked in surprise. "What?"

"After the lizard you came into contact with sprayed you with it’s venom, Lieutenant Torres very ingeniously washed most of the poison off by plunging your face into a nearby stream. Had she not done that, the venom would have most undoubtedly injured your eyes beyond my capability to repair."

Tom whirled on B’Elanna. "You never told me that."

Faint embarrassment colored her voice. "You never asked."

"Come on, Torres, why didn’t you tell me?"

"I didn’t want you to feel like you had to repay me. Anyway, you just have--many times over." She shuddered. "I’d hate to think about what would’ve happened if you hadn’t--"

"Well, I did," Tom interrupted. He didn’t like thinking about what would have happened either. The thought was too horrible to even imagine. "And now we’re even."

Just then, Captain Janeway charged into sickbay. "What happened?" she demanded anxiously. "Carey said there had been an accident."

For the second time, Tom explained what had transpired in the Cargo Bay just ten minutes before. Janeway’s face paled when she heard of the close call. "Are you sure you’re all right?" she asked B’Elanna worriedly.

"Lieutenant Torres will be fine," the doctor answered for her. "It was just a mild concussion. Nothing serious--thanks to Lieutenant Paris, I might add."

Tom grinned modestly. "All in a day’s work."

Janeway smiled at him, even though she knew he couldn’t see it. "It’s a good thing you were there. I doubt anyone else could have reacted in time."

"I was only there because I--oh, that’s right. I almost forgot," Paris remembered. "Captain, the doctor’s going to operate on my eyes in three days."

"He is?" Janeway looked from Tom to the doctor and back again. "You’ll regain your eyesight?"

"Some, if not all," the doctor replied. "The prospects are very promising."

"That’s excellent news, Tom," Janeway said warmly. "I’ll be glad to get my pilot back."

"I’ll be glad to be back," he agreed.

"That makes three of us," B’Elanna murmured. "Can I go now, doctor?"

"Yes, you can. But take it easy for the next day or so," the hologram told her.

"Why don’t you take the rest of the day off," Janeway said kindly. "I’m sure Lieutenant Carey can handle supervising the storage of our new supplies. He needs the experience, anyway."

"All right," B’Elanna said, surprised but pleased at the captain’s generous offer. She hadn’t had a day off in quite a while. "Thank you, Captain."

"You’re very welcome, B’Elanna. I hope you and Tom have fun," Janeway said, glancing at the pilot with a mirthful expression. She strode out of sickbay before either her engineer or her pilot could say a word.

B’Elanna looked over at Tom. "Holodeck?"

"Sure. North Dakota?"

"Of course."

"Let’s go."

END OF PART 5

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Legal crapola: Paramount ------> god. Star Trek: Voyager ------

> owned by Paramount.

Love Is Blind: Eye Of The Storm

by JoAnna Walsvik

part 6/8?

"B’Elanna, I’ll be *fine*," Tom insisted. "Quit worrying."

"I’m not worrying."

"Your hands are trembling."

"They are not."

"Are too."

"Okay, maybe I am a little nervous," B’Elanna admitted. "Can you blame me?"

"No, not really." He smiled reassuringly. "This operation is not at all life-threatening, B’Elanna. You know that."

"I can’t help it." She bit her lip and gazed down at him, anxiety written all over her face. "I just--don’t want anything to happen to you."

"Nothing will happen. I’m in very capable hands. Right, Kes?" Tom said cheerfully.

"That’s right," Kes smiled. "I’m sorry, B’Elanna, but you’re going to have to leave. We need to begin the operation now."

Trepidation filled the half-Klingon’s eyes, but she smiled bravely. "All right. I’ll be right here when you wake up, Tom."

"I’ll *see* you later, okay?" The excitement in his voice was impossible to miss, and B’Elanna had to chuckle slightly in spite of herself.

"Okay, Paris. I--" A lump suddenly appeared in her throat, and she had to swallow before she could go on. "I’m sure everything will go just fine."

"Thanks." He squeezed her hand encouragingly, and she reluctantly backed away, her eyes not leaving him until she was completely out of the room.

"She really cares about you," Kes softly commented.

"I assure you, Kes, the feeling is mutual," Tom said lightly. "Are we ready?"

"We are indeed," the doctor said, coming out of his office. "Now, Mr. Paris, the operation will only be about six hours long, but I’ll keep you under anesthesia for a bit longer then that."

"And then I’ll be able to see, right?"

"That’s correct. Let’s get started, shall we? Kes, administer the anesthesia."

"You know, some doctors say that if you think of something you love, that’s what you’ll dream about while you’re unconscious," Kes remarked, pressing the hypospray to Tom’s neck.

A few seconds later, a drowsy haze enveloped him, drawing him in to a world of nothingness. As he drifted off into oblivion, the last thought on his mind was of B’Elanna.

And the world was, once again, blackness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What seemed like only seconds later, the fogginess began to lift. Tom stirred slightly, blinking his eyes open. They were covered with some kind of gauzy cloth, and he could still see nothing but darkness.

"Tom?" B’Elanna’s voice. She was there, just as she had promised she would be. Her hand, that had been wrapped around his, gave him a reassuring squeeze. "Doctor, he’s awake."

"Good evening, Mr. Paris. How do you feel?"

"A bit woozy, actually."

"That will pass as the anesthesia wears off. Well, let’s uncover your eyes, shall we?" The doctor, for once, actually sounded cheerful.

Tom could barely contain his excitement as the doctor cut away the wrappings around his face. Finally, after so long! The cloth fell away, and Tom opened his eyes wide. He blinked a few times, then, frowning, blinked them again. Still, the blackness didn’t lift.

"Is something wrong, Mr. Paris?" The doctor asked in concern.

"I can’t see," Tom said, panic clouding his throat. "I--there’s nothing but darkness."

"What do you mean, you can’t see?" B’Elanna whispered fearfully as the doctor brought out his tricorder and began to scan the pilot.

"I mean, I can’t see. Everything’s just the same as before. Black," Tom repeated, obviously upset.

Slowly, the doctor put down his tricorder, glancing at B’Elanna somberly. "I’m sorry, Mr. Paris," he said gravely. "It appears that the operation...was not a success."

"What?!" Tom said hysterically. "What do you MEAN it wasn’t a success?! It has to be! You *said* I’d be able to *see*! You *said* this operation would fix things!"

"I said there was a very small chance that the operation would not work," the doctor reminded him unhappily. "Apparently, you are that chance."

"But--but--NO!" Tom shouted. "I *can’t* be this way forever! I *can’t* be blind! I’m a pilot--I can’t--"

"Please, calm down," the doctor said placidly. "You--"

"Calm down?! Calm *down*?! You just told me I’m going to be *blind* for the rest of my life, and you want me to CALM DOWN?!"

"Please, Mr. Paris, I know you’re upset, but--"

"Damn right I’m upset!"

"Tom--" B’Elanna tried.

"Stay out of this, Torres! I don’t need your help."

B’Elanna took a step back, stung. "Tom, please--"

"No, goddamnit! Nothing you can say or do will make this any better. Nothing!"

"It could be worse," B’Elanna said quietly.

"Oh, yeah? How so?" Tom challenged her.

She paused slightly, thinking of her lost baby brother. "You could be dead."

"I wish I was," he said bitterly.

B’Elanna paled, her skin turning ashen. "Don’t say that," she whispered, swaying slightly. The doctor grabbed to support her in alarm, thinking she was going to faint. "Don’t you dare say *anything* like that again, Tom Paris," she said, ignoring the doctor completely.

"Why not? It’s true," he said sullenly.

"Doctor, please leave." B’Elanna’s voice was deadly calm.

"I don’t think I--" the hologram began.

"Leave. Now." Her tone left no room for argument.

The doctor chose not to debate the issue. "Reactivate me when--before you leave. Computer, end EMH program." The doctor shimmered into nothingness, leaving Tom and B’Elanna behind.

For a long minute, neither of them spoke. "Well?" Tom finally said, his voice laced with hostility. "Aren’t you going to say something? Or are you just going to yell at me again? I’ll tell you this, Torres, this time your little reverse-psychology mind games won’t work with me."

"I’m not going to yell at you, Tom." Her voice was still that deadly calm.

"Then what *are* you going to do?"

"This." And she slapped him, hard, across his face. Tom reached up and felt the quickly forming bruise on his cheek in frank disbelief.

"You slapped me."

"Damn right I slapped you."

"But--"

"If I ever, EVER hear you say anything like that again, you’re going to get a lot worse then a little slap on the cheek," she said through clenched teeth. "I never want to hear you say anything about your life not being worth living. Do you have any idea of how many loved ones I have lost? First my brother, then my father, and then my mother. And I will NOT lose you too, do you hear me? I couldn’t bear it if someone else that I loved went away from me again, and that’s exactly what you’re doing. I don’t care if you can’t see. Hell, I wouldn’t care if you were deaf and dumb as well as blind. I’d still love you just the same. But I can not, and I will not, stand here and listen to you say that your life isn’t worth living because you can’t *see*! I’d willingly sell my soul to the devil himself if Benjamin could be here, blind or otherwise. So I don’t ever want to hear you say *anything* like that again. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

"Crystal clear." Tom’s voice was subdued. He could hear the tremor in her voice, and was willing to bet she was trembling on the outside, too.

"Good. Computer, activate EMH program." She stalked out of sickbay just as the doctor appeared.

The hologram looked from the doors to Tom, then back to the doors. "What was that all about? And what is that bruise on your face?"

"It’s nothing," Tom said oddly, a peculiar catch in his voice. "I’m sorry I yelled at you."

"That’s quite all right. Your reaction was perfectly understandable." The doctor eyed the bruise suspiciously. "Are you sure you don’t want me to heal that?"

"Yes, I’m sure. If you don’t mind, doctor, I’d like to be by myself for a while."

The EMH regarded him thoughtfully. "All right, Mr. Paris."

He disappeared into his office, leaving the pilot alone in sickbay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

B’Elanna strode blindly down the corridor, tears clouding her eyes and threatening to spill over. She was angry, yes, but she was also terrified. What Tom had said had frightened her. When she had told him that she couldn’t bear to lose another loved one, she had been telling the truth. So many people had been lost to her over the years, and if she ever lost Tom...she didn’t like to think about it.

And she didn’t regret for an instant what she had done. Tom had deserved a bruise after scaring her so badly. The doctor could have her thrown in the brig for all she cared, but she would never show any remorse. Everything she had said was the truth, and Tom Paris knew it. If he chose to waste his life away now, then he could do just that. She didn’t care a bit. She didn’t...

Yes, she did care. She cared a lot. She cared too much to let him have thoughts that were even slightly suicidal. B’Elanna knew, deep down, that Tom would never take his own life, but the possibility was there, and it terrified her beyond anything ever had before.

"Oh, gods. The captain," B’Elanna suddenly remembered, stopping dead in her tracks. She had promised to send the bridge crew news the moment she had some. And as much as she hated to be the bearer of bad news, she had made a promise--and B’Elanna Torres did not go back on her promises.

"B’Elanna!" Janeway exclaimed the moment the half-Klingon stepped onto the bridge. "How--" the captain’s smile faded when she took note of her engineer’s solemn expression. "What’s wrong?"

B’Elanna bit her lip, turning to glance at Harry Kim before answering the captain. "I’m afraid that the operation didn’t work," she said quietly. "He’s--he’s still blind."

Shocked murmurs from the rest of the bridge crew met her statement. "Still blind?" Janeway repeated in shock, her eyes wide. "Oh, no. How’s Tom holding up?"

B’Elanna told herself, swallowing the lump that had appeared in her throat. "As well as can be expected. He’s upset." She didn’t dare say anything more for fear the tears would start falling.

Janeway nodded sympathetically. "Who wouldn’t be?"

B’Elanna fought valiantly to keep from crying. Gods, she was a wreck. The emotional rollercoaster she had been on the last few days, not to mention the last few hours, was finally taking it’s toll on her. Right now all she wanted to do was find a dark corner somewhere and cry her eyes out.

Thankfully, Janeway seemed to sense this. "Thank you for telling us, B’Elanna," she said kindly, but solemnly. "I’m--tell Tom I’ll stop by and visit him later."

B’Elanna nodded, grateful for the excuse to leave before she further embarrassed herself by beginning to sob. As fast as she could without being obvious, she left the bridge.

"Tom must be devastated." Harry Kim voiced the thought they all had in their minds.

"Sickbay to Janeway." The doctor’s voice startled her for an instant, but the captain immediately replied.

"Janeway here. B’Elanna just left the bridge, Doctor."

"Then...you know."

"Yes. He’s still blind?"

There was a short pause. Finally, hesitantly, the doctor spoke. "Yes, Captain. I’m sorry to report that Mr. Paris will never be able to see again."

END OF PART 6

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Heh, heh, heh...

Don’t worry. I won’t make you wait TOO long for part 7...

Legal crapola: Paramount ------> god. Star Trek: Voyager ------> owned by Paramount.

This section of Love Is Blind is dedicated to Lauren Taylor, who gave me the idea for it after I had been struggling with an incurable case of writer’s block. Thanks, Lauren!!!

Love Is Blind: Perception

by JoAnna Walsvik

part 7/9

"Lieutenant? Lieutenant Torres, can you hear me?"

B’Elanna moaned, wincing as the throbbing in her head increased. It felt like a thousand hammers were pounding simultaneously in her skull.

"Lieutenant?" The anxious voice cut through the murky fog surrounding her brain, and B’Elanna realized that she was lying on a hard surface--a very uncomfortable hard surface. Laboriously, she cracked open her eyelids and patiently waited until the blurry figure above her focused into one person--Lieutenant Carey. Surrounding him was half of her Engineering staff, and all of them were staring down at her, concern written all over their faces.

"What--what happened?" she managed to ask, blinking dizzily.

"We were attacked," Carey answered. "You were knocked unconscious by an exploding console."

"Attacked? By whom? Why?" B’Elanna demanded. Immediatley she regretted her outburst, for it caused the throbbing in her head to increase.

"The comm system is down, but before it collapsed we were in contact with the bridge. Apparently, we’ve inadvertantly trespassed into someone’s property," Sue Nicoletti shrugged.

"So what else is new?" B’Elanna muttered darkly. "Seems like we’re always trespassing somewhere."

The engineering staff exchanged relieved looks. They were now fully certain that their chief would be all right. Carey very carefully assisted B’Elanna as she attempted to sit up. It took a few tries, but eventually she was able to lean against a nearby console, one of the few that wasn’t damaged.

"I think you have a concussion," Carey warned. "Unfortunately, as a result of the damage to the ship, all the unlocking mechanisms in the doors have shorted out. We’re cut off from sickbay, the bridge, the mess hall--everywhere. And so is everyone else."

B’Elanna closed her eyes and silently groaned. Not only did her head feel like it was about to split in two, but there was a nagging thought in the back of her mind...something that she should remember, but she couldn’t quite gather her thoughts enough to pinpoint it.

"Tom," she suddenly gasped, her eyes flying open. "Do we have internal sensors?"

"No. We barely have anything but life support."

*Oh, gods,* B’Elanna thought in horror. *Tom is all alone in his quarters--maybe he’s hurt or...or worse. I have to get to him.* Resolutely, ignoring the throbbing of her still-aching head, she struggled to her feet. "All right. First priority is the doors. We’ll work from there," she ordered.

*Hang on, Tom. I’m coming.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tom Paris blindly groped along the walls of his quarters, feeling for something--anything--even slightly familiar. Everything had happened so fast. One minute, he had been soundly sleeping, and the next, all hell broke loose. The red alert klaxon had blared as explosions had echoed from various consoles. He had tried calling the bridge, sickbay, engineering--but to no avail.

And, oddly enough, he didn’t think for a moment of his own safety. All that mattered was getting to B’Elanna. Why, he didn’t know, but a strange ache in his gut told him that she was hurt--maybe seriously. He had to make sure she was okay. *But how?* a part of him mocked. *You’re blind. You’re helpless. You can’t DO anything!*

*I can too!* he told himself firmly. *Just because I’m blind doesn’t mean I can’t contribute. B’Elanna said so.*

*And just what are you going to do, Paris? Face it, there isn’t anything that you CAN do.*

*There is so! I can do something to help, and I’ll prove it* His energy renewed, Tom continued to grope for the door. If he couldn’t get it open, then he’d find something else to try. But he would get to B’Elanna.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*I left him alone,* B’Elanna fretted, working feverishly at her console. *I left him all alone because of my stupid temper. I should have been there with him--helping him--doing SOMETHING with him--but I left him alone. And now he’s trapped in his quarters, probably scared to death, maybe injured, maybe--no. Oh, gods, no. Please, not that. Anything but that.*

"How are the repairs to the unlocking mechanisms coming?" she yelled.

"Almost done," Carey responded.

"Good." *It’s all my fault,* B’Elanna thought. *I left him alone. If he’s hurt, if he’s--seriously hurt--it’ll be all my fault. I should have arranged for someone to be with him. I should have asked Harry or Sam Wildman or someone to help him--but I was too damn stubborn. Tom, you have to be all right! Please, let him be all right!*

"Got it!" Carey crowed as the doors to Engineering slid open.

B’Elanna didn’t even hesitate. She dashed out of the door, hightailing her way to Tom’s quarters. *Please,* her mind echoed. *Let him be all right!*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Yes!* Tom thought jubilantly as the doors slid open. *They’re fixed!*

He felt his way into the corridor, where the sound of a crying baby emanated shrilly from the quarters next to his. *Christine Wildman,* he thought, blindly groping for the entrance. *Sam’s daughter.*

He found his way into their quarters, crawling on the floor until his hand discovered warm flesh--he quickly determined it to be Samantha Wildman. She was lying on the floor, apparently unconscious, and bleeding heavily from a large gash on her upper arm.

*Let’s see. First you apply pressure directly on the wound,* he remembered, ripping a strip of fabric from his shirt. He felt smug for a moment, recalling how his father had thought he wasn’t paying attention in the first-aid course at the Academy. *Shows what you knew, Dad.*

While he was attending to Sam, he reached over and felt for the tiny hand of little Christine, whose cries had dissolved into whimpers once she detected another presence in the room.

"It’s okay," he said soothingly in the general direction of the child. "Uncle Tommy’s here. It’ll be okay."

The child crawled to his side and onto his lap, burying her face in his chest. Tom awkwardly patted her back while holding the makeshift bandage tight on Samantha’s arm. He wasn’t even sure if he had placed pressure at the right point on Samantha’s arm. Only someone with working eyes could be able to tell. And he hoped that help would arrive soon.

No less then five minutes later, help arrived in the form of B’Elanna Torres. She had been nearly crazy with worry when she had gone into Tom’s quarters and found no one there. It was then she had heard a murmuring voice from the quarters next door.

"Tom!" she exclaimed in relief.

"Oh, hi, B’Elanna. Um, am I doing this right?" Tom asked, seeming to be incredibly calm under the circumstances.

B’Elanna glanced at the unconscious ensign’s wound. The blood flow had all but stopped, and she could tell that the wound would be easily healed once Samantha was transferred to sickbay.

"Yes, it’s right," she acknowledged in surprise. "Are you okay?"

"I’m fine, but we have to get Sam to sickbay." Tom seemed indifferent to the worry he had caused B’Elanna.

"I’m going to sickbay now," the chief engineer told him.

"I’ll get Kes or the doctor. Tom, how--I mean, I--I’m sorry."

Tom blinked at the abrupt change in subjects, but quickly recovered. "For what?"

"For leaving you alone. I should have made sure someone was with you--you could have been hurt--or--or worse."

"I can take care of myself. Just because I’m blind doesn’t mean I’m helpless," Tom grinned, repeating her own dictate back to her. "Go on, Torres. Go get the doctor."

B’Elanna turned towards the door.

"And, B’Elanna--?"

"Yes?"

"Apology accepted. And thanks for slapping some sense into me."

END OF PART 7

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This should be the second-to-last story in the series. I’d have to say that this is definitely the longest fanfic I have ever written. And it’s the most fun I’ve ever had writing! :)

Oh, yeah, and one more thing. The title, "A Pair Of Blue Eyes", comes from a Thomas Hardy novel of the same name, written in 1873.

So, without further ado, I give you:

Love Is Blind: A Pair Of Blue Eyes

by JoAnna Walsvik

part 8/9

Tom Paris groaned, burying his face in his pillow. It was getting harder and harder to get up in the mornings, knowing that when he opened his eyes he would face the same perpetual darkness.

He stretched and yawned, squinting at the bright light that suddenly flooded his face as he blinked his eyes open. *The bright light that flooded his face...*

He froze. A light...?

Tom’s eyes flew open. He bounded out of bed, blinking in disbelief.

There, right in front of him, was the doorway leading out of his bedroom. Beyond the door was his couch, and the replicator. To the right of him was the door leading to his bathroom. Behind him, a window displaying a view of the starry beyond.

"I can see," he murmured dazedly, gazing at his surroundings in open astonishment. "I can *see*! I can see the window! And *through* it! I can see my bed...and my couch...and my replicator!"

He dashed into his bathroom, stopping dead in his tracks once he confronted the mirror. Then, almost timidly, he stepped towards it’s glossy reflection.

Tousled blond hair, pale complexion...a pair of blue eyes, once dim, now bright.

"I can see *me*," he whispered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Doctor! Doctor!" Tom shouted, running into sickbay as fast as he could.

"Mr. Paris? What’s wrong?" the hologram queried, stepping out of his office. He looked the pilot up and down, taking in the pajamas, the flushed expression, and the bright blue eyes.

"I can see! I woke up this morning and I CAN SEE!" Paris gasped excitedly, nearly out of breath from running all the way from his quarters.

The doctor stared at him for an instant, disbelief coloring his features. "How many fingers am I holding up?" he demanded, raising his hand.

"Four."

"Now?"

"Three."

"And now?"

"Five."

Quickly, the doctor grabbed his tricorder, scanning the pilot rapidly. "Well, Mr. Paris, it seems that my original hypothesis was correct. The operation did work. It just took awhile for the effects to display themselves."

Tom was nearly delirious with joy. "So this is permanent?"

"Of course." The doctor was smiling broadly. "Welcome back to the land of the seeing, Mr. Paris."

Tom gazed around sickbay. Nothing had changed since the last time he had seen it, of course, but just to be able to look upon the pale gray carpet and the flashing consoles was a delight in itself.

"Would you like me to inform the captain?" the doctor asked.

He hesitated slightly. "Isn’t Neelix having another luau tonight?"

"That’s right; in the holodeck," the doctor confirmed. "1900 hours."

An impish smile danced upon the pilot’s lips. "I think I’ll go--and surprise them tonight."

"Excellent idea, Mr. Paris. I won’t say anything until you do," the doctor promised.

"Great! Thanks, Doc," Tom said, looking happier then the doctor had seen him in months. Suddenly, the pilot smiled sheepishly and glanced down at the pajamas he still wore. "I guess I should go change, huh?"

"That would probably be a good idea," the doctor agreed.

Tom dashed out of sickbay, his mind running a mile a minute as he planned the surprise for his friends tonight. He couldn’t wait to see the expression on their faces...hell, he couldn’t wait to *see* their faces again. And maybe...just maybe...B’Elanna would be there.

Since his newfound independence had come about, they had less and less time to spend with each other. B’Elanna was so busy repairing the ship while Tom assisted in other areas that they hadn’t talked to each other in...well, it had only been a few days, but it seemed like months.

Rushing into his quarters, he began to rummage around in his closet. "Now, let’s see," he muttered. "Where did I put that 1962 Big Daddy-O Surf Special?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Tom!" Harry clapped his friend on the shoulder warmly. "This is a surprise! I didn’t know you were coming!"

"It was kind of a last minute thing, Harry," Tom said carelessly. "Who else is here?"

"Um...most of the crew. Captain Janeway, and the commander are here, and I think Tuvok’s around here somewhere. Neelix and Kes are, and the doctor...and B’Elanna." Harry watched his friend’s reaction to this statement carefully.

Tom immediately brightened upon mention of the chief engineer’s name. "She is? Where?"

"Over there, by the captain. C’mon, I’ll take you there."

Harry gently took Tom’s arm and led him over to where the captain, Chakotay, and B’Elanna were standing in a corner and chatting amiably. Tom struggled to keep from laughing. Harry, the poor guy, clearly thought he couldn’t see where they were. He could see them, all right. The captain was wearing a very tasteful off the shoulder Hawaiian dress of pale blue and green, and Chakotay a matching shirt.

And B’Elanna...her dress was strapless, revealing her graceful neck and shoulders. It’s color was a rosy shade of pink that brought out the dark of her eyes and the gloss of her hair. She was so beautiful it nearly took Tom’s breath away.

"Hey, look who’s here!" Harry announced cheerfully.

"Tom!" Janeway was smiling in relief. Evidently she hadn’t thought he would come. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, I’m fine," Tom said vaguely. "Hello, Commander."

"Mr. Paris, I’m glad to see you up and about," Chakotay said sincerely.

"Thanks."

"Hello, Tom." B’Elanna’s voice was barely above a whisper. She had paled at his approach, Tom noted. Hopefully, he could bring back some red into those cheeks.

"Hi, B’Elanna. Say, nice dress."

"Thanks," she said uncertainly, giving him a strange look. Tom could just imagine what she was thinking: *How the hell would he know?*

It was time to unleash his surprise. The doctor, Kes, and Neelix had approached them, so they were all within earshot. "It looks really good on you," he remarked casually. "You should wear pink more often."

The bomb dropped, landed, exploded, and caught everyone in it’s wake. The assembled officers merely stared at him uncomprehendingly, while Tom, unable to hold back his mirth any longer, grinned from ear to ear.

Finally, B’Elanna spoke. "Tom," she said unsteadily, "how did you know the color of my dress?"

"I saw it," he replied sweetly. "I’m not blind, you know."

Dead silence.

"At least, not anymore," he added, beginning to laugh at their obvious shock. In fact, B’Elanna looked like she was about to pass out.

"Thomas Eugene Paris," Captain Janeway began, "are you saying that you--"

"I can see!" he beamed proudly.

B’Elanna fainted dead away.

END OF PART 8

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I’ve always wanted to have B’Elanna faint!

One more part to go! I’ll get on it ASAP!

Legal crapola: Paramount ------> god. Star Trek: Voyager ------> owned by Paramount.

I hope you enjoyed all nine parts of "Love Is Blind"!

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Love Is Blind: Seeing Is Believing

by JoAnna Walsvik

part 9/9

"Tom Paris, if you ever do that to me again," B’Elanna Torres said, shaking her head at him, "I’ll--"

"I know," Tom said cheerfully. "You’ll stuff me in a photon tube and shove me out the nearest airlock."

"That’s right," she agreed, playfully tossing a pillow at him. Closing her eyes, she rested her head in her hands. "Gods, I’m so embarrassed. I can’t believe I actually fainted."

"Hey, it’s okay," Tom said consolingly, patting her arm. "The doctor said it was because you had been working yourself too hard since that concussion you got when the ship was attacked, plus my surprise, that did it. I can understand that. Besides, the captain gave you a couple of days off duty, so it’s not a total loss."

B’Elanna opened her eyes and glared at him. "Yeah, well, the captain didn’t yell at *you* because you hadn’t been taking care of yourself."

"You have to admit, you deserved it, Torres," he pointed out, leaning back against the cushions of her couch. "Besides, the captain was just worried about you. You scared her to death when you passed out like that. Nearly gave her a heart attack."

"Oh, and you didn’t?" B’Elanna retorted.

Tom grinned. "You should have seen your face. It was a once-in-a-lifetime expression."

"I suppose it’s all over the entire ship now."

"B’Elanna, the entire ship was *there*. Everyone knows already."

"Don’t remind me," she said darkly. "I’m never going to hear the end of it from my staff."

"Oh, cheer up, B’Elanna. They’ll only tease you for--oh, the next sixty years or so."

"Can we change the subject, *please*?"

"Okay. Hey, I’m going on duty tomorrow."

"Tom Paris!" B’Elanna stared at him. "Why didn’t you tell me earlier?"

He shrugged. "It’s no big deal."

"Yes, it is a big deal," she disagreed. "You haven’t flown the ship for--what, nine months? And now you’re going back. Tom, I’m so happy for you."

"Thanks. I couldn’t have done it without you, you know. Being blind, I mean."

"Sure you could’ve," B’Elanna said dismissively. "I didn’t do anything."

"Yes, you did," he objected. "You helped me see that I could still contribute even though I was blind. I probably would have done something drastic--like attempt suicide--if you hadn’t of been there for me."

"You wouldn’t have, Tom. You’re stronger then that."

"Yes, I would have. It was the end of the universe for me. Being blind meant I couldn’t fly anymore. But you helped me see that there were other things I could do, other ways I could help, that I didn’t need my eyes for. And you didn’t just help me while I was blind, you saved my eyes completely. Had you not acted so quickly after that lizard attacked, I would have lost my eyes for good. Don’t try to deny it, Torres. I asked the doctor."

"You saved me from that falling container," she said quietly.

"But you saved more then my *life*, B’Elanna. You saved *me*," Tom said simply. "I don’t know how I can ever repay you."

"You already have, Tom," B’Elanna murmured inaudibly, but Tom heard it just the same.

"Oh, yeah? How?"

B’Elanna’s dark brown gaze met his bright blue one. "Remember that day in the holodeck when I told you about Benjamin?"

"Yes."

"I had never told anyone before because I was afraid that they would say the same thing I did--that it was my fault that he died. But I told you, and you didn’t say that. You said just the opposite. And, suddenly, all of the guilt I’d been carrying around with me since Benjamin’s death was gone."

"When I told you about my dad," Tom said slowly, "I was able to get rid of a lot of anger I had carried around with me. I’m--I’m not as mad at my father now. It doesn’t matter anymore. So I guess you helped me in more ways then one."

"But--"

"Don’t say anything, B’Elanna. For once, just accept some honest thanks, okay? Don’t be modest, don’t try to deny it. Just accept it. Please."

B’Elanna looked down at the floor, conflicting emotions playing across her face. Tom reached over and slid his index finger under her chin, forcing her to look up at him. When she did, he leaned over and kissed her.

The kiss was warm and tender and full of promise. When their lips finally broke free, B’Elanna was staring at Tom in something that could only be described as utter shock. "I’ve--no one’s ever kissed me quite like that before."

"No one’s ever loved you enough to kiss you like that before," Tom told her, pulling her close and kissing her again.

Inexplicably, B’Elanna pulled back, her eyes fervently searching his. "Loved?" she asked tremulously.

"Of course," Tom said simply. "I love you, B’Elanna. How could you ever doubt that?"

"It’s not that, it’s just--" B’Elanna’s eyes had filled up with tears. "No one has ever said that to me before."

"No one has ever told you that they loved you?" Tom said incredulously. "Not even your mom? Or your dad?"

B’Elanna shook her head. "Klingons never show any expression of affection, and my father--if he did say it, I can’t remember it."

"Well, that’s going to change right now," Tom said firmly. He wrapped his arms around her waist and looked her straight in the eye. "I love your hair, your lips, your forehead, and your eyes. I love the part of you that’s kind, caring, and compassionate. I love the way you scream and throw things when you lose that Klingon temper of yours. I love the way you scream at *me* when I act like a jerk. I love the way you call me a pig. To sum it all up, B’Elanna Torres, I love *you*. And I will love you forever."

He planted his mouth on hers and kissed her with all the love he had in him. And this time, B’Elanna didn’t pull back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tom awoke early the next morning to find B’Elanna snuggled in his arms, looking more peaceful then he had ever seen her look before. *She looks so innocent when she’s asleep,* Tom marveled silently, gazing down at her. *Innocent and pure and--and vulnerable, even.*

He smiled at the protective feelings she was stirring up in him even while she was sleeping. His life had irrevocably changed now--for the better, of course. Not only was he finally able to do what he loved best, flying--no, that wasn’t right. Piloting had just become his second love. He had thought that nothing would ever change his love of flying, but something had. B’Elanna had. She had unconsciously taken that special place in his heart. He didn’t know when it happened--just exactly when B’Elanna had become his first love, and not his second--but it had happened. He could do what he had previously thought was impossible--live without flying.

As long as he had B’Elanna, of course. He couldn’t live without her, that much was certain. That’s why he had been so terror-filled when he had heard that container begin to fall. He had instinctively known that he had to save her, or his life would be over along with hers.

And now he was able to fly again--just the thought of sitting at his old station on the bridge and letting his fingers run over the smoothly familiar console was so exiting he shivered in anticipation.

He gently eased himself out of B’Elanna’s arms. As much as he hated to leave her, the chronometer read 0610. He had promised the captain he’d be on the bridge by 0630, and it wouldn’t look good for him to be late on his first day on the job after nine whole months.

B’Elanna didn’t even stir as he quietly dressed and ran a comb through his blond hair. *Poor thing*, he thought with a sympathetic pang. *She must still be exhausted. She’d been working herself so hard--I’m glad the captain gave her a couple of days off.*

He slipped out the door, first making sure there was no one in the corridor. He didn’t care about gossip, but he knew that B’Elanna did, and if someone saw the pilot sneaking out of the chief engineer’s quarters at six in the morning the gossip mill would go into a frenzy. Even though the crew already saw them as a couple, there were a few people on board who would spread a dirty rumor just to be mean.

"Tom!" Harry Kim called, jogging to catch up with the pilot in the corridor. "Welcome back, buddy."

The two friends stepped into the turbolift. "Bridge," Harry said.

"Thanks, Harry," Tom smiled, referring to the ensign’s earlier comment. "I hope the bridge hasn’t changed much?"

"Nah," Harry assured him. "We’ve kept it waiting for you. Say, what’re you doing on this deck? Your quarters are on deck 8, aren’t they?"

Tom decided to tell him. Harry was B’Elanna’s best friend as well, and it wouldn’t be long before everyone found out anyway. Besides, Harry wasn’t the sort to spread vicious gossip. "I, um, just came from B’Elanna’s quarters."

Harry stared at him for a second, then slowly his face broke out into a grin. "B’Elanna’s quarters?"

"Yeah."

Harry raised his eyebrows at the pilot’s dreamy tone. "Congratulations. You know, it’s about time you two got together."

"Thanks, Harry," Tom said, rolling his eyes. The turbolift stopped and it’s doors swished open. Harry entered the bridge first and then, slowly, Tom stepped out.

A wide, blissful smile spread across his face as he gazed around. The bridge crew was standing up in silent acknowledgment, with Captain Janeway wearing a grin as big as his own. "Welcome back, Mr. Paris," she said warmly.

"Thank you, Captain," he responded, savoring every step as he approached his station. "Permission to return to duty?"

"Permission granted."

Although that little ritual had been unnecessary, he had wanted to go through it simply to recognize the face that he had finally returned to active duty. The captain had agreed with him. Then, finally, for the first time in a long while, Tom slid into his chair at the helm. He slid his hands over the keypads on the console, savoring their familiar feeling once again. Gods, it had been *way* too long.

"Set a course for the Alpha Quadrant, Lieutenant Paris," Janeway announced. "Warp 6."

Tom punched in the coordinates, pleased to find that it still came naturally to him. It was like he had never been gone.

"Course laid in, Captain."

"Then, Mr. Paris," Janeway said grandly, "engage."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You wanted to see me, Captain?" Tom asked later that day, breezing into her ready room.

"Yes, Tom," Janeway smiled, standing from her chair behind her desk. She extended her hand out to him. "First off, I’d just like to say congratulations. Your first day back on the job went excellently."

"Thanks, Captain," Tom said proudly, shaking the proffered hand.

"Secondly," the captain continued, sitting back down as Tom did the same, "I’d like to ask you a question--off the record, of course."

"Anything," Tom said, wondering what she was talking about.

Janeway’s eyes glittered mischievously. "I know this is none of my business, and you have every right to tell me so, but is it true you spent the night in B’Elanna’s quarters?"

Tom’s mouth dropped open in utter shock. "How did you find out about that?" he demanded.

"Good news travels fast," Janeway responded. "It’s all over the ship, from what I heard. I didn’t want to say anything about it until I was sure it was true."

"Who did you hear it from?" Tom asked, afraid that B’Elanna was going to skin him alive. He had told one person, only *one person*, and now it was all over the ship.

"I heard it from Chakotay," Janeway answered cheerily. "He went down to see B’Elanna today--as per my orders, of course, I wanted to make sure she wasn’t sneaking in any work when she wasn’t supposed to be--and she mentioned something about it."

Tom relaxed visibly. If B’Elanna was telling people, then it must be okay.

"Chakotay’s overjoyed and frankly, I am too," the captain continued. "We were wondering when you two were finally going to get together."

Tom stared at her in stupefaction. "That’s exactly what Harry told me this morning."

Janeway merely grinned. "I can’t help but see the irony of the situation. I mean, if you hadn’t of had that accident, you two might have never gotten together."

A smug look crossed the pilot’s face. "Well, you know what the say, Captain," he said. "Love is blind."

END OF PART 9

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