November 21, 2000

Deer Season had just opened this week, which is what inspired me to do this piece first for Why?!?

Ok, ok, before you get bent out of shape let me start by saying that I am NOT an animal activist or anti-hunting person of any sort. I do believe in the sport of hunting when done correctly. I put this piece up because of the incorrectness that is often displayed during this season.

Deer Season has changed from a simple food chain & population control event, to a bullshit, showoff, "who cares what happens to anybody" sport! Every November I count the days till Deer Season is over hoping that neither my loved ones, my pets, or myself are hurt or worse in the process. Naturally, the following is not a reflection of every person who hunts, just a generalization of what I have observed living in the mountains.

There used to be a time where a man hunted to feed his family. OK, now we have grocery stores, meat markets, mail order, restaurants, and countless other means of obtaining nurishment. OK, I know that venison IS different & I for one like venison. I'm just saying it isn't necessary for that reason. If a person hunts by the rules & eats his kill when all is said and done then they will never get an argument from me. It's the person who wastes a poor defenseless deer for "sport" only that urkes me!!

Since I've obviously opened a can of worms with the last statement, let's talk about these poor defenseless animals. A hunter hides in the woods, waits until an animal is eating, grazing or whatever and shoots the animal. You call that hunting? You call that sporting? I'm not impressed. You want to impress me? Go after a deer, bear, or other animal and kill it with a huntimg knife, a sling shot or your bare hands. That would be a great sport! Man versus nature armed with just his wits. If you were hunting just for food and had no other way to eat then I can see the whole gun thing, but otherwise its just not sport(not to mention dangerous to other hunters and innocent bystanders)

I don't want to hear that crap about population control either! If you want to control the population you shoot the does, not the bucks! One buck could easily(and will) make up for three being shot. These are animals! All they do is eat, sleep, and fuck. If a buck is gone another one will mate with the doe. Of course that doe will not get you that trophy you want, which is why people shoot the bucks. Population control my ass!

Now lets get into the common rules that get broken and other issues that really piss me off this time of year. OK, first off you are not to fire off your gun till half an hour before sunup. They even have a set time that is officially when you can fire the first shot. You can be in the hunting area, but no shots before that time nor after a certain time. I hear this rule get violated every morning of deer season. Nothing like waking up an hour and a half early on a work day to the sounds of gunfire!

A gun cannot be fired within a certain distance of a residence. It is still close enough to hurt someone should they be outside when a gun is fired in that direction. How about the bone heads that shoot at anything that moves! You're not supposed to pull that trigger if you are unsure of the target. Yet these yahoos shoot whatever moves. I don't think I have to tell you where that leads. Some people think its funny to shoot other animals instead of the animal in season. Dogs and other pets are included in this. If any one idiot hunter ever shoots my dog, I will kill him!!

You are supposed to shoot to kill. Not wound it, not blow its horns off, kill it! If you are not sure if you can make a fatal shot from your angle, DON"T SHOOT! How many guys out there fire as soon as they see a deer and just hit its gut and then the deer runs away to suffer for hours before it dies! Those people should have their gut slit and have salt rubbed in it! Accidents happen, but if you are careful then it doesn't happen often. If you don't kill it in one shot you better follow that deer and make sure you kill it before you leave!

Here is one of my favorites, the designated hunting area. You see in the interest in keeping people "safe" from stray gunfire there are designated areas that are for the hunting of game. You are to hunt there only. As I drive to work, anywhere where there is a patch of woods, legal or not I see hunters cars parked there. There are hunters who actually stop their cars anywhere and take shots at deer if they see them. Isn't that insane people?!? Where will it all stop?!!?

Of course there are some rules you shouldn't have to tell people like not to bring your 4-10 year old son with you. I'm not even gonna mention the fact that you will damage his hearing, but what about the danger of the kid running out there and getting shot, or trounced? Do you love your kids or do you thinkof them like you think of those dogs you kill?!?

Now, I know there are game wardens that are out there to try and regulate some of these rules but they cannot be everywhere nor are there enough of them out there. I won't mention the ones that take bribes. Here's an idea, how about we post some game wardens posing as fellow hunters, and everyone at least try and follow the rules. Maybe then we can get a handle back on this "sport"!

Once again, I apologize to those I have offended, but I feel very strongly about this and damn it I OWN The Starr Zone! Anyway, if you follow the rules, are courteous, apply common sense and eat your kill, then you have every right to hunt in my eyes. Otherwise refer to the above text.