Well, it looks like I'm back. :) This story is the first in the "Blood Ties" series, featuring the children of the X-Men. While I can never corner Phil Hartman's market (all hail!), I hope I'd at least uncover new perspectives -- but for the fact that the characters are related to the X-Men, this series could be TCP stories. Not many superheroes here.

Disclaimer: Everything recognizable is probably copyrighted to Marvel Comics. Original characters are mine.

Rated G.

"I'm impressed, Mr. Drake. It's not often that we see candidates with your qualifications."

"Thank you, sir."

"If I may say so, you seemed well on your way to a Ph.D. Why didn't you take the opportunity?"

"I find the challenges of the real world more interesting than academia, sir. I'm a practical man -- theories aren't much use except in hypothetical, laboratory situations."

"Hmm. Is that so?"

"Mr. LeBeau Drake--"

"Just Drake, ma'am."

"Yes. I see. Now... your file mentioned that your parents are mutants."

"Does it have any bearing on my application?"

"Of course not! Our company has a very mutant- friendly environment -- at least five percent of our employees are known mutants."

"I'm glad to hear that, sir."

"Thank you, Mr. Drake. However, please understand that it is necessary for us to ascertain whether you are a mutant, in order to accommodate any special needs."

"... I understand."

"It's no shame to admit to being a mutant, Mr. Drake. As I have said before, we have a pro- mutant policy."

"I'm not a mutant, sir."

"..."

"But your parents..."

"I was adopted, sir. My parents are gay."

"Oh. I see. My apologies."

"So you're human?"

"Mutants are human too, ma'am."

"Yes, yes, of course. But that wasn't the point--"

"Ahem. Pardon our curiousity, Mr. Drake. Don't mutant couples always adopt mutant children?"

"No. Sir."

"How odd. I would have thought..."

"Thought what?"

"There's no need to take that tone with me, Mr. Drake."

"With all due respect, sir, I fail to see how this is in any way relevant."

"It wouldn't do for a prospective employee to hide crucial information, would it now?"

"If I'm a mutant, it would be included in my personal resume as per standard requirement."

"Yes, but we need medical evidence."

"Ma'am, I'm not a mutant -- do I need medical evidence to prove it?"

"Not a late bloomer, by any chance?"

"..."

"That was a joke, Mr. Drake."

"I'm laughing on the inside. Excuse me."

"What--?!"

"Mr. Drake, the interview isn't over!"

THE END